Sunday, July 28, 2013

what i learnt during the weekend that was

frankie's innocent picnic

This summer so far has involved a lot of thinking about life, choices, paths, the whys and the whos, smaller and larger insights, thought processes and the always close at hand odd sort of restlessness - it might be the happy place thing trying to tell me something - and here follows some snippets of what I learnt during the weekend that was (no award winning insights more the confirming what I already knew but I'm not always clear about, neither to myself nor others. In some aspects I need to be more proactive with the "yes!" in others I need to be more firm with the "no!") -

~ to promote something which you feel passionate about (and embodies so much I think is important in life; health and tastiness, humour and vegetarian food, cleverness and ethical principles) is really lovely, inspiring and happiness instigating. I really truly, madly, deeply (without being crazy and weird) want more of that in my life.

Reading this article though rather made my heart sink. Even if I on some small level possibly maybe a tiny bit can see what led to the decision. Still it made me sad.

If you want to read about and see a few pictures from the Frankie's Innocent Picnic event we held here in Stockholm yesterday you can do so here. I will blog a few words and show some snaps later (my friend C did an awesome job as official photographer, so I didn't bring the DSLR with me, besides I wouldn't have had the time).

~ heat just isn't doing it for me. I feel tired, bloated, sticky, brain is mushy and thinking is like I'd imagine wading through syrup would be, can't sleep, feeling gnarly and say stupid things I wouldn't do otherwise. No, not complaining about the weather, just establishing a personal fact. (As I'm writing this the rain falls, the air seems easier to breath and such a bliss for nature, I do hope we'll get a reasonable amount of the water from above this upcoming week.)

~ as much as I love taking photos, photography and talented photographers just as much I utterly, completely and wholeheartedly loath people taking photos of me. It's about 20 years since I felt natural and at ease in front of a camera, I most always do not in any way recognize the person caught on camera by others which apparently is suppose to be me.

Practising faces, gestures and angles with an iPhone is great, but I never end up having any use of the things I know works when I'm faced with someone else wanting to take my picture. It's just awkward and I so hate the situation. It is strange that one can feel comfortable and at ease with oneself and one's body and skin as a being but feeling so stressed and awful about the concept of having one's picture taken. I am not being coguette about it, I don't need any flattering remarks, yes, it may be irrational, it may be a luxuary problem, but still I simply abhor it. I will still detest ending up on snaps I have no control over, images I don't recognize myself in.

I'm happy I chose to put a picture of me on my business cards, but that's an image I can live with (once in a while that happens when I'm in control) and people seem to like it. Other than that I will from now on have to say "no" to photos, unless I'm in control of the outcome obviously. Because it's a situation I find so very icky and completely uncomfortable in the nastiest of ways. (I'm still amazed at how nice the identity card picture turned out and how simply appalling the passport photo is...)

~ hedgehogs can be really nasty towards eachother. I knew that, I've seen it before, but today two of them bullied the littlest one and it wasn't a nice thing at all. Although it made for a rather cute picture and we made sure they went separate ways. I'll save the picture for later, because really, we can't have four hedgehog posts in one week...

~ spending a hot summer day on a sun bed in the shade staring up on a blue blue sky, watching the clouds floating, listening to music and letting the mind wander is really a most perfect way to spend a good few hours.

What did you learn during your weekend that was?

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