Saturday, March 15, 2014

are you a closet extrovert?

granny square garland

A year ago I wrote about "the power of introverts" and how many cords the then recently read articles on the subject and Ted talk with Susan Cain stroke for me.

The most important thing everyone should learn about the introvert personality is that most of us aren't anti-social loners, quite the opposite in fact. BUT we don't do the group thing, we don't thrive on being the centre of attention in social gatherings, we have no need for constant public acknowledgement. We love the one on one interaction, we find that being in social situations with loads of people often drains energy rather than gives and a lot of alone time for reflection and recharging is absolutely essential.

When I say "we" I mean I, but also friends and acquaintances who are introverts say the same. So I think it's safe to say that it's a reasonable accurate generalisation. Even if there's of course a floating scale of introvertism.

And that's why I'm asking the question "are you a closet extrovert?". Because the other day I talked with a good friend (we are star sisters and so much alike in many ways, we often read eachothers' minds, but also, apparently very much unlike eachother in others) about how brilliant I think business speed dating (aka speed networking) is and what a great time I had doing it again the other day. Showed her some photos and she exclaimed "This would be like my worst nightmare!". Too many people, to much talking, too short a time, too superficial, too draining. "You are crazy, you are a closet extrovert!".

I tried to explain how much I love the speediness, efficiency, no mindless and awkward mingling with perfect strangers, you can sort your thoughts and business cards out at home and see who you'd like to have a lunch or coffee with - and that it's very much a one on one thing, but a speedy one. Even if the sound level and the speediness can be tiring, it's mostly a great buzz and very inspiring, because even if you will certainly not click with everyone you will meet some really great and interesting people to contact afterwards to meet under calmer circumstances.

She insisted on it being nightmare inducing. "All those faces would haunt me for nights to come...". We are simply same same but different.

Being an introvert (but social in doses I choose myself) is another reason running my own business suits me so well, I have lots of time to reflect and work on my own. I would go mad having to spend time with people in an office on a daily basis again. I need quiet. But I also need inspiration, good talks and good people. And getting a buzz from that. I am not a closet extrovert, I am a social on my own terms introvert.

How about you, where on the floating scale of introvertism are you?
Or are you perhaps a closet extrovert?

4 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

I am decidedly an introvert - but can fake the social whirl if I have to. So long as I can factor in some time alone in the quiet afterwards.

Poppy Q said...

I am an introvert too. In fact I dread going out on Friday night to meet friends at a pub. I would much rather meet for dinner, as sit down and a chat.

Julie Q

Becky Berry said...

Introvert here, too. I dread social gatherings. And needing alone time to recharge, oh my YES! Something I never get any more. That is one thing taking care of my dad has shown me. Just how much I need that alone time.I am always with my dad. While I love him very much, my life now revolves around his needs and never my own. When I am working on a project, he is always watching me. I'm getting used to that finally, but it is at a point where just getting in the car to go to the grocery store alone feels like a five stat vacation now.

Emoporer said...

I'm not sure if I'm a closet introvert or closet extrovert. Either I'm being pressured to be all 'social' and outgoing OR it's something I really want to be but am too afraid to/not skilled enough to.

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