Little over a year ago I wrote a post about cultivating resilience - little did I know then that that in a not too far future I would have to use that cultivated capacity to "to greet change and difficulty as an opportunity for self-reflection, learning and growing". Because believe you me, these almost two months now, have been spent doing that a lot. In both practical and emotional ways.
This is a really good article on the subject and how you can work on increasing your resiliance. Which is essential for your well-being.
Death appears sooner or later in everyone's life, that is perhaps the one undisputable truth in this world. There is absolutely no way to turn back the clock, act and say things differently, get answers, explanations. And letting oneself being engulfed in sorrow and the what ifs over and over and over again isn't meaningful for anyone. So despite the fact that the sorrow is still striped, but in another striped way than in the beginning, and melancholy is a constant companion, some days more than others, I also chose happiness. Because there is no way but forward and making a productive and active choice is to take control. As much as anyone of us can take control, who knows what will happen tomorrow?
And the financial worries I had in the beginning - still do, but I also choose to not let them overwhelm me, because it will be alright - perhaps they were a blessing in disguise. They have forced me to be active, to take control, find solutions, a week at a time. Instead of perhaps wallowing in sadness every day, all the time had the financial issues not been a fact. I already feel I have grown quite a bit by necessities.
So how has the second week of May been? Grateful to say also a good one. The weather continued to be glorious. I enjoyed discovering new, fine places for lunch in the work neighbourhood. Met friends after work for long chats. Went to an informal interview. Which happened to be above the cafe were we used to have the perfect Saturday breakfast - also a place where I've had so many productive meetings both social and work related - so I had lunch there by myself, it was both wistful and lovely.
My short gig has been prolonged for two more weeks, I must be doing something right, so I'm grateful for that. Still loath the rush hours commuting, but at least my tasks allow me to work from home a couple of days. Hopefully I will be able to do that some more days the following weeks. I also find I'm even more productive at home, so it's a win-win for everyone.
May May continue to show kindness. And I resilience. Everything will be alright. Better than alright, much better.