organic vegan food inspiration, part 3

Looking for some lovely food inspiration for Easter? Look no further, time for some more delicious dishes from my vegan food ambassador gig. And again, the recipes can be found on the Årstiderna website or in the app, only in Swedish. So if something tickles your tastebuds please let me know and I'd be happy to translate the recipe. Possibly a bit better than Google translate.



Creamy curry stew with mango salad. The mango salad was unfortunately awful, since it turned out the mango was no way near ripe. The stew was nice but basic.



Mushroom-bean burger with fried onion, tomato relish and potato wedges. A bit of work but so very good, rustic and satisfying.



Onepot with tomato sauce, beans and fried mangold. Tomato sauce based dishes aren't my favourites, but it was quite nice. Well, if it hadn't been for the fact that the fresh rosemary figs fell apart in the pot and I had to fish them up one by one. The fried mangold was a lovely addition.



Fried pita bread with avocado-ruccola cream and spicy chickpeas. So easy to make and delicious.



Yellow peas tikka daal with minestra cabbage. Just lovely and flavoursome.



Baked sweet potato with tikka daal, coconut and couscous salad. Often you save half of the dish from the previous day and incorporate it with the dish the day after. Great way of making two different dishes of one. As much as I love sweet potato I think this dish would be better with a usual potato though.



Rainbow paella with portobello mushroom, carrot, minestra cabbage and turmeric. Melt in your mouth comfort food deliciousness.  

The top image is of one of my favourite dishes so far, amazing flavours. Quinoa-squash steaks with warm beetroot-apple-mungbean salad. First time I tried the natural egg-substitute - more natural than eating eggs obviously - psyllium husks as binding agent for the steaks. Worked brilliantly. 

One of few greens I dislike are capers, I forced myself to use them that week and I'm surprised how great flavour addition they were in every dish. That week's four dishes were all amazing.



One pot pasta with tomato and capers. Revelations: a) you can cook pasta in the actual sauce instead of separately in water. Fabulous. b) If you use a very generous amount of (rapeseed) oil when you fry the garlic/onion the sauce will taste so much better. c) Capers add flavour without overhelming. d) A  simple tomato based pasta sauce can actually be really very good.



Buddha bowl with quinoa, mungbeans, avocado and sweetpotato. Delicious, the grilled sweetpotato added a caramelized flavour to the dish.



Curry stew with sweetpotato, aubergine, coconut and spinach. Again, use a generous amount of oil when you fry the vegetables for a more creamy, delicious (feline approved) stew.





Maccheroni pasta with pumpkin cream and warm squash-tomato salad. Loveliness.



Curry stew with chickpeas, butternut squash and broccoli. Nice but basic.



Cauliflower 'pizza' with black beans, avocado salsa and cashewnuts. To be honest this was by far the worst dish through all these months, a waste of cauliflower and tomato sauce basically.



Seitan tacos with black beans, roman salat and avocado salsa. Lovely.



Beetroot cornotto with beetroot-apple-hazelnut salad. The cornotto is made with spelt corn. And it's delicious.



Organic vegan food inspiration 1
Organic vegan food inspiration 2

Happy cooking, tasty, kind Easter weekend, one and all!

trade in your darkness for the light

When I began writing this post I was really angry. But before I hit publish I thought about the "Be responsible for the energy you put out in the world" and decided to sleep on it. And here is the much shorter version, still angry and disappointed, but I'll omit the worst, unsavoury details.

The anger includes myself because in hindsight I feel like a fool for trusting people I obviously shouldn't have trusted. For being open and willing to take a chance at a new, much less structured way of working, which went so awry. Will not make that mistake again. Even free spirits need basic structure. And trust is earned, partly by clear and transparent communication. And since I'm not usually gullable, the whole thing feels... bizarre. What. was. I. thinking?

Wish I could just let The Project That Became A Mess go, as a very important life and work lesson. But unfortunately I realised while going through my papers and invoices for the annual closing I'm still missing payments for it. A fact which obviously has added another layer of disappointment, hurt and anger to this whole mess.

So not only did I a) agree to a subpar fixed payment (since the work had so much promise for the future, in various ways) for a job that turned out to need a whole lot of more hours than originally stated -

and I who always want to do a great job, since it's important to be proud of your achievements, did put in more work and hours because to get the consistent quality level and attention to details that was needed -

b) I haven't even gotten all the payment I should have.

For me it's an important sum to get, for a well-managed company it would be penny ante.

However, since bitterness is a useless emotion, just like worry - what have I learnt from this? Well,

1. I will never ever again go against my instinct, experience and adopt a laizzer-faire attitude in work when it comes to agreements, communication and structure. This was the first time I did, and look what a mess that turned out to be. Duh, says lawyer I.

I realize this was a rather special situation and circumstances, but really, had we just set aside a few hours before we jumped right in this could have mostly been avoided.

2. I don't care if people, future team mates, think I nag and repeat, nag and repeat, nag and repeat, because seriously, it. is. so. very. important that we discuss, get everything in writing and have the solutions to what ifs and different possible scenarios well sorted beforehand. For everyone involved. Stress less, be more focused and productive.



Another thing to feel better, stress less and come up with solutions to tricky situations is to go for long walks in nature. Which also boosts kindness, happiness and creativity. As I haven't been able to do that much for these past couple of months due to all the snow and ice, I found it both incredibly elevating as well as exhausting when I've so far had two long dog walks in the sun and wind two days in a row.

No, I'm not a dog owner again, it's one of the neighbourhood dog ladies who needs help with walking her sister's dog (who she is currently caring for, one of the cuties I practised my dog whisperer skills on). She's such a sweet tempered labrador, but she is also very strong and needs someone who can hold the leash and keep up with her. Even I find it a bit laboursome, but perhaps it'll give me som serious upper arm muscles.

Funny thing is that the dog sitter think I and Mynta (the herb Mint in Swedish) match eachother so well. Walking side by side. Although, important detail, Mynta has a very special swagger and wag her bottom quite noticably. I most certainly don't.

I still miss having a dog of my own again, but it's also a responsability for someone who needs more of my time and not least structure, compared to the cats, perhaps I'm simply not there yet. And just as I believe that the above work experience with it's ups that ended in a serious down was meant to be, for experience and growth's sake, I believe if a doggie is meant to be it will happen.

Much like songs come your way when your mood calls for them. And even if it's difficult to believe I don't only listen to Haevn these days, this dreamy thing with Celine Cairo is one of my current music crushes.



From darkness to light, from anger to music that soothes a weary soul. As life is. And with winter phasing out, spring, real spring is just eager to step in and take charge. I do believe this will work wonders for the body and soul. And not least bring opportunities and new beginnings. Which I welcome with open arms and a curious, eager mind.

at a cemetery in freiburg i sat down and wept

Today it's exactly two years since M passed away. And as important and healing as the grief recovery process was, the subconscious mind works in mysterious ways. I've had trouble sleeping these past few weeks, a general sense of worry persistently present. It was my mother who pointed out the time of the year, this week the date, next week Easter, which used to be my favourite holiday, now forever linked to death and sorrow. Even if the grief isn't ever present, far from, I believe this time of the year will be tainted by it all for a long time. That is simply how life, and death, works.

That day when I by coincidence - which are life's little messages to tell us we are not alone - ended up on a bench at a cemetery in Freiburg on a beautiful October afternoon and cried my heart out seems awfully far away, like a distant, memorable, bittersweet dream.

I've come so far since, looking forward to going much further. In fact this week I took another step in that direction, a step so far outside of my comfort zone I'm still surprised I did it - but it was such an obvious thing the future Pia would have been angry about if I hadn't.

Someone pinged me on a 2 weeks gig as a teacher in social media at a journalist education in Rwanda, I applied. The course would take place April 2-13 already, so I didn't have time to think it over. And I didn't really expect getting a reply. But I got swift and great feedback, which then got me really stressed, because was I ready for this, with such short notice? But luckily, for now, they chose someone else for this gig, though wanted to get in touch again for the courses this autumn. Which I think sounds awesome and give me time to prepare. What an amazing experience it would be, wouldn't you agree?

This week also held a really interesting, inspiring as well as dispiriting sustainability forum at my old Alma Mater, Stockholm university. With topics like How can we achieve Agenda 2030 in a polarized world as is? The future of food, how do we get consensus on the importance of plantbased diets and health and non food waste? The world's crazy dependence on oil - the topic that interested me the least, but it was so enlightening and heartbreakingly scary - and How can academia, the business world and society work together for a better world?



Rounded the week off with having a lovely lunch and much needed, long talk with the one person that has been undoubtedly, undeservedly more bruised by the hurtful mess. The whole situation is a different kind of sorrow to work through. To learn by and move forward from, wiser and stronger.

Which in the end is what every setback, sorrow and disappointment is, a valuable experience and opportunity to change, grow and become a better human being.

As usual music helps a lot in the moving on part of life. This week I'm happy to see that George Ezra's new record is out, Get away is my favourite from Staying at Tamara's so far. And even happier to hear Haevn's first single from their first record to be - Back in the water. Everything they make seems magic to me, always beautiful and soothing. Music always makes sense, even when life doesn't. That in itself is magic.

my cosmo geek week, part II

As a creative I need to replenish inspiration, energy and joy regularly to feel and perform as best as possible. Luckily I'm pretty easily inspired by little things around me - as well as unfortunately easily caught by the Weltschmerz notion, given the world situation in general and people's ungraspable and un-compassionate behaviours. Though always grateful for my "grounded in happiness" personality - but sometimes you need something with extra oomph.

Such as a museum visit, a great conversation or a long walk in pretty surroundings. Given the icy streets these past couple of months (!) there hasn't been a lot of walking alas, but museums are great. Especially when you get to experience so many lovely, inspired works of art that your heart kind of overflows by awness.

Granted I rarely get a lot of that when visiting the annual spring art salon (since 1921) at museum Liljevalchs. I just find the level of quality and originality of the chosen art pieces to be crazy varied, more than half of them seems like silly nursery style jokes. Also this year the quality level varied a lot, but I saw more lovely pieces than I'd ever done before.

As I wrote in my part I post, my number one favourite was, which I obviously can relate to on a very profound level, "Kerstin shall save all the animals" by Kristina Nilsdotter (her mother is the model). But some other favourites were these -


German philosophers with cats by Gabriel Jonsson


Rabbit with carrot by Simon Fergin - crocheted with recycled T-shirts


The bulldog Rolf by Mari Juslin - partly made with old nylon stockings


Explorers by Olof Astrup Hällqvist


Breath in - breath out, a year with yoga by Stefan Bennedahl - 365 clay figures in yoga positions


Parts of them by Therese Isabelle Olsson


The Introvert House by Sofia Runarsdotter (photography)


Snow leopard, ghost of the mountain by Emelie Bäcklin - sculpture in faux fur


The Pig mother by Mathias Lyngman


Academy member by Monika Eriksson - I think its the spitting image of Allyce Beasley, but it's suppose to be Sara Danius, the permament secretary of the Swedish Academy.

 
Fir tree by Leif Engström


Sculptures by Mari Pårup


I wish I was beautiful as a swan, could fly and wear red high heels by Vanja Jonebring Arnell


Station 9 (paper babies) by Bea Szenfeld (Swedish fashion designer who is also vegan)


A cherry kissing herself by Kristina Brandeus Kirkkopelto



All this creativity and quirkiness, such happiness!

:: Which brings me to another cause of happiness of mine. Namely these little tykes, Sonny Angels. Inspired by the American Kewpie doll this Japanese collector's doll is a wee cherub, an angel boy - with all his little bits on full cheeky display for some reason. I wonder why it isn't a gender neutral doll or at least half of them boys half girls - with quirky headgear and sometimes upper body clothes (like Donald Duck). It is said to bring good luck, comfort, protection and happiness. I can certainly vouch for the latter at least.

Just like the darling bobbaloos they are lovely little photo props. Though since they're made of not wool but plastic - which is a material I usually shy away from as an environmentalist, but... - they can jump into liquids and food and be easily cleaned afterwards. Plus they don't need to travel in a special hard case, but a soft pouch will do. 

The last time I welcomed new arrivals to the Scandinavian bobbaloo settlement I alas had to pay a hefty postal and customs fee, which granted was really unfortunate after all these years of uncomplicated delight. Many of my bobs have been through a lot of adventures over the years and are *a bit* shabby, so they have been retired from most commitments. And the talented maker Kit doesn't seem to be making new bobs anymore. Thus obsession of fondness for little happy, colourful beings have been shifted to these angelic guys.

I got my first one about four years ago, a carrot headgear (of course). Followed by cherry blossom (naturally) and morning glory. Then I won an Instagram competion (like I do, now and then) a year ago. And I suppose that was the start of my obsession of fondness for them. A perfect treat for yourself when you've accomplished something great. Or need a comfort treat for that matter.

Sonny Angels come in 9 regular series, with 12 dolls in each. 4 animal series, 1 vegetable series, 1 fruit, 1 marine, 1 flower and the latest one, sweets. Plus they have different special series now and then, like chocolate, Ladurée, Happy birthday, Easter, Halloween, Valentine, Christmas. In every series there are additional secret Sonnys that are more 'valuable' and very hard to find. The angels are supposed to be bought in blindpack in every series. Which means you never know what you pay for ie can get the exact same one again and again and again... 

I've been lucky enough to find and bought most of mine as display figures, which is great. I have some series full and have been even more lucky to get my hands on a few secret Sonnys. I still can't believe I found the very illusive secret unicorn. Still waiting for my smashing good luck and fortunate events to come knocking big time though.

Until that happens I enjoy the company of these wee angels, the inspiration and simple everyday joy they bring. Which help keep me healthily silly, young at heart and in mind.



:: Refilling my travel card last week I ended up doing that with a very chatty ticket collector. Who exclaimed "What a funky jacket you have! Where is it from? My wife would love it! She shops a lot at Gudrun Sjödén." I really hope one wouldn't mistake my fabulous happy Marimekko Pienipioni coat for a Sjödén coat. As grateful and happy as I am for my Schwarzwald trip, I obviously do enjoy the odd garment from her now and then, I also have issues with the brand concerning a lot of other things. Not least her recent appalling views on women's financial status in society, lack of insight in power structures and feminism, link to article in Swedish.

Still, grateful for the unexpected, kind compliment, as always.



:: Three years ago I got a second set of the irresistable Happy lights. It took until last week for me to assemble it. Oh, procrastination. I was so pleased to finally get it done. Tured out though that alas a) the colours of the pretty balls, in colours I had so carefully chosen, weren't at all the same colours lit up as unlit. Too red and warm for my liking, b) the danger of them becoming irresistable kitty toys is imminent. Have survived one night, I sincerely hope that is how it will stay.



:: It took 2 years until I got a buddy match via the Kompis Sverige integration project. And then it took us a couple of months to have our first meetup. But now we've had one, my new friend and I. A long vegan lunch and fika accompanied by a lot of talking. At one of my favourite cafes, Älskade Traditioner. My new friend is a vegetarian teacher from China. Our conversation involved many of my favourite topics, like vegan food, religion vs kindness, philosophy, culture, education, love, books and languages. 

Looking forward to meeting her again, think it'll be a museum visit on the agenda next time. If the weather hasn't picked up, allowing outdoors activities. It'll be great to follow her progress in Swedish too, given we only talk in English for now, easier that way.

:: Rounding off part II of my cosmo geek week post with being immensely grateful that all my latest proteges in my coaching gig have now started their respective internship at different companies. All that hard work put in + companies genuinly interested in helping = the warm and fuzzy feeling again. I'm sure they will have great 12 weeks internships, looking forward to meeting them all again in early June. 

Having finished the major part of this gig I am now open for new gigs and jobs again. As I said I will be braver this year and open to other opportunities than I've concider before, without losing the importance of being true to myself, I've actually applied for some interesting full-time jobs too. Hopefully and fingers crossed I'll at least get a couple of interviews from that. It's about high time I find my kind of people now too. Really.

I also firmly believe that there are a lot of companies out there in dire need of a Chief Happiness Officer who also take introverts' needs seriously. Do get in touch, I'm here to help!

warm fruit salad with a twist

Before I continue writing about the cosmo geek week I give you something simple, luxurious and delicious - a warm fruit salad. Use whatever fruit you enjoy, I had bananas, pears and apples in the fridge.

Warm fruit salad with almond paste
4-6 servings

5 small apples
3 pears
2 organic bananas
ca 200 g almond paste
dairy-free butter
lemon juice
unsweetened coconut cream

Put the oven at 175C. Butter a medium sized overware.

Peel and dice the apples and pears. Peel and slice the bananas. Put all the fruit in a bowl. Drizzle some lemon juice over it and mix fruit carefully. Pour the fruit into the ovenware.

Grate the almond paste coarsely. Spread the grated almond paste evenly over the fruit. Add dollops of dairy-free butter on top.

Bake in oven until the almond paste is slightly golden. It'll take about 10 minutes.

Whip the unsweetened coconut cream - it's my new favourite food thing, absolutely delicious! And with a hint of coconut, but no un-natural tang which I find often is the case with soy or oat cream. - and serve with the warm fruit salad.

Enjoy the melt in your mouth deliciousness!



PS I get my coconut cream from Swedish brand Garantskafferiet. Extra plus for a fabulous package design. And it's incredibly easy to whip into great consistency, if you just remember to keep it in fridge before you do. Delicious with my darlin' banana pancakes too. DS

my cosmo geek week, part I

My intention was to write a long, rambling-ish post about some of the inspirational stuff I've done this past week. My cosmo-geek week. But I realised just now that it'll be a lot longer than I had intended, so I'll make a part I and II of it instead.

Here goes part I -

:: I managed to snap one of those much coveted tickets to the annual Women in Tech Stockholm convention (WIT always takes place on March 8, naturally), this year 1500 tickets were gone in 120 seconds... As you know I shy away from fairs and places that attract a lot of people in general. The introvert me hates it. That I entered and attended countless of cat shows for years and years is in hindsight bewildering, I know.

But I have been known to attend TEDx talks and Geek Girl meetups, and enjoyed myself - if not the "do mingle!" element. I'm a grown up, I can chose myself and if I chose to watch, listen, learn and be inspired 'only', well that's nobody's business but mine. Especially not when I've paid for the tickets. - and this seemed liek a great opportunity for inspiration and learning.

The day before the WIT 2018 there was a sort of kick off breakfast talk at tech giant Tieto. I'm not a morning person, having to leave home at 5.45 am to be sure to get to the venue - the company headquarters are situated really inconventiently - by 7.45ish did not fill me with joy. But I'm so glad I went. The talk was held by IT Woman of the Year 2017, Malin Cronqvist, the founder of charity platform Help to Help.

Which funds scholarships in Tanzania and Uganda via transparent crowdfunding. Which, unlike most major charity organisations, make sure the money get where they're supposed to. A remarkable example - in a country with 56 million people (Tanzania) there are 236 dentists and 20 anaesthsiologists. Whopping numbers of wrong.

The talk was so. very. inspirational. A simple and very hands on idea that can make real change happen. And by empowering women we are empowering societies, countries, the world.



:: The WIT conference in itself was exhausting, way to much people, not enough breaks and certainly not enough food for such a long day. But also very inspiring, some talks, discussions and interviews were great, others very less so. You can watch all the sessions at the WIT website. But from my personal point of interest view I enjoyed talks from these talented women the most -

Joy Buolamwini, "the poet of code on a mission to show compassion through computation". You should watch her enlightening about bias in algorithms. Who codes matters, how we code matters and why we code matters, to fight misogyni and racism.

A panel discussion about #metoo and the extended misogyni within the tech industry, Swedish hashtag #teknisktfel (technical error).

Computer science professor Danica Cragic, who specialise in robotics and just won the award Tech Woman of the Year 2018.

The breakout session Starting up, Starting over: What startup life is really like.

A message from the (female) mayor of Stockholm, Karin Wanngård, that our fair city is a #awomansplace - "Equality in Sweden isn't perfect, but it might be the best that we have in the world." The website is worth an enlightening visit.

A panel discussion on building sustainable businesses. One participant was the co-founder of Gigafood, an acclaimed plantbased catering and sustainability business.

Inventor and engineer Anna Svensson, the woman behind the world's first integrated solar panels - yup, before Elon Musk - at the company SolTech Energy. 

Helena Samsioe, co-founder of Globhe, drone delivery and drone data on demand.

Then I left a bit early, which was a relief after 8 intense hours. And with me home I got loads of inspiration.

:: Part II of my cosmo-geek week will be about the above sweet, endearing and tear inducing sculpture called "Kerstin shall save all the animals" which is part of the annual spring salon since 1921 at art museum Liljevalchs. And quite a few other favourites I got at the exhibition too, how about pieces with though-provoking names like German philosophers with cats, the bulldog Rolf (made from old nylon stockings), 365 days of yoga, Rabbit with carrot (crocheted), The Introvert House, The pig mother, I wish I was beautiful as a swan, could fly and wear red high heels?

:: It will also be about my first, belated meetup with my new friend I met via the integration project Kompis Sverige (Buddy Sweden), it took me 2 years to get a proper match.

:: About an unexpected compliment from a ticket collector.

:: And about the fact that my obsession with fondness for bobbaloos has, for various reasons, turned into an obsession with fondness for the Japanese collector doll and goodluck charm Sonny Angel.



:: For now, let's end this post by contemplating that moment, upon arriving at a job meeting, and you're met by a wallpaper that looks like "one of your outfits has turned into a building" - not my words but they perfectly captured the situation. Needless to say I'd love to have a dress in that exact same colour and pattern like that green, tpriped wallpaper.

organic vegan food inspiration, part 2

Have had what someone brilliantly called a cosmo-geek week. Loads of inspiration from strong, capable women and too much people for my poor intro/ambivert brain and personality. I'll write more about that when I've rested the brain and collected my thoughts.

For now I'm so very grateful for Friday, followed by blissful caturday. I'm suspecting next week will be fun and hectic too, so I'm putting my very snooze on all weekend. My only sadness is that there are no more episodes of Younger available. And that the foodstore hadn't gotten the delivery of peanut doodles (which is my new snack of choice).

I'll cook something nice from whatever I have in the fridge and freezer. And look forward to another fabulastic week of the vegan food ambassador gig. Here are the wonderful dishes I've cooked since I posted about the falafel. Some definitely more memorable than others. The recipes can as usual be found on the Årstiderna website or in the app, but in Swedish. So if something tickles your tastebuds please let me know and I'd be happy to translate the recipe.

The photo above is of a delicious sweet potato soup with curry, lime and coconutmilk - the sweet potato and pumpkin soups are two of my favourite dishes for the boxes, perfect comfort food packed with flavour - topped with a tomato salad with lemon grass and roasted pumpkin seeds, served with toasted pita bread. A fantastic meal with lots of texture!



Wholemeal noodle salad with broccoli, carrot, cucumber, coriander, cashewnuts and a spicy tamari sauce. Basic but good.



Spicy white beans cream - which then has become a new and simple favourite of mine, it's like hummus but with your favourite white beans instead - fried zucchini, tomato salad and grilled pita bread with za'tar spicing. Lovely flavours and textures.



Potato-leek soup with roasted pumpkin seeds served with sourdough baguettes. Basic but good.



Tartlets with asparagus, mungbeans and broccoli. Served with a lovely salad of point cabbage, apple and pomegranate. Great flavours, amazing textures.



Spicy stew with potato, chickpeas and chili-tomato salad. Basic but nice.



Mexi-bowl with quinoa, black beans, point cabbage, avocado and tomatoes. Basic but good.



Red curry stew with broccoli, carrot, grean beans in coconut milk served with wholemeal rice. Basic but good.



Fried rice with turmeric, oyster mushroom, broccoli, chard and cashewnuts.Lovely, the mushroom added extra oomf.



Peas-pumpkin hummus - oh my goodness... - with oven-baked aubergine and toasted wholemeal pitabread. Amazing and delicious.





Noodle salad with carrot, cucumber, roman lettuce, green beans, tahini sauce and gomashio salt. Very basic, but I like the touch with gomashio salt.



Seitan-sausages in bun served with cucumber salad and asian cabbage salad with sesame seeds. It's nice with those rare dishes you don't have to cook a lot to get, a pretty basic dish but the asian salad is mmm. Sesame seed oil and seeds make everything taste better.



Beetroot risotto with roasted hazelnuts and parsley-cabbage salad. Very nice, but I have to say the one I usually make is better, creamier.



Curry stew with chickpeas, sweet potato, carrot, tomato in coconutmilk. Basic but nice.



Latkes - potato-Jerusalem artichoke rösti - with hummus and fried kale. Lovely, but for the kale.



Celery cream with grilled spring onion, fried kale and roasted buckwheat. Lovely but for the kale. Roasted buckwheat, what a clever thing!

No matter how I've tried I really don't like kale. I can only have it in a smoothie, but it's rubbery and nasty in anything else I've tried, cooking myself or eating out. I don't care if it's a super plant, it's like eating weed to me. Sorry, kale, we will never be friends. I know your intentions are great, but you are not for me.