To Beat About the Bush

When I blog I neither feel very comfortable nor have the need to spill everything personal, intimate out in the open. Yes, sometimes it's a darn good way to practise a bit of self-therapy, definitely. And since it is my words in my world it should be personal - just not too personal. Not too naked. Not too intimate. Just enough to create something personal and welcoming that slightly more than touch the surface, and sometimes much more than that of course, of what's me, my life, my views and opinions.

Once in a while I feel that a topic needs a bit of elaboration, analysis, but I also realize I rarely elaborate all that much in blogform. Perhaps I should. Since I, very much so, enjoy - perhaps too much - to analyse events, people, emotions, tendencies, whys, what ifs, how comes, why nots, maybes, dig myself into, explore, investigate and if possible solve the potential problem. But somehow I often prefer to do that verbally instead of in writing.

Sometimes it just might have something to do with the issue being slightly too close to home for comfort. I know, think, very few of my irl-friends read my blog, but in case they do I don't think it's all that friendly and simpatico of me to dig into the things they've told me. Even if I never name names they'd probably know exactly what I'm writing about and even if it happens to be generally speaking in writing, and really just basic friendly advice concerning a distinct lack of personal insightfullness I'm sure it could be taken as an insult. Unfortunately. Which it most certainly wouldn't be.

Most of us, now and then, some of us more often than seldom, suffer from more or less serious cases of lack of self-perception. And while it is fairly easy to discuss this often highly sensitive issue in very general terms, it's most always really, very much a minefield to walk in when it comes to the more personal cases. It's easier to beat about the bush and maybe hint something here and there than being very frank about it. Or is it simply cowardly the easy way out?

I learnt something recently, which supposedly is something great, something to be celebrated, but instead I sense that almost palpable lack of self-perception. And I just don't know how to tell without looking like a grudging, envious semi-friend. Which I am honestly not. At all. I just think this would be a good time to actually take a closer look at one's motives for doing, or not doing, certain things. And what do my personal qualities say, is this something my character really wants me to do? Or is this path not something I'm up for, perhaps not now, maybe never, and does that really makes me a lesser person? Is it a case of proving something, which really isn't necessary to prove? Yes, probably something we should all think about now and then, on the path of life.

Oh I suppose this wasn't too personal. And really, if you try and keep a certain specific issue - which perhaps just might be a trigger for a much bigger issue, and not a distinct life and death issue which is a whole other matter - kind of general, which is, I admit, a challenge in itself and might be borderline ramblingly, you can get away with it without staying too close to home. I think, suppose, perhaps.