... to remain as it is, doesn't want it to remain at all". One of many memorable quotes and murals on parts of what once was the Berlin wall, at the East Side Gallery
A quote that strikes a certain cord in me, on this yet another day of more fuming over the insulting stupidity of Swedish administrative authorities. Still in despair over how something that could so easily have been/can be solved instead has been blown out of every reasonable proportion by that utter madness.
Given the way one is treated by the system and its more than willing to be unreasonable petty kings and queens, one could as well be an exotic specie, a skvader, a jackalope,
because we do.not.speak.the.same.language. No matter how well or clearly I, or anyone else involved, articulate myself (ourselves) - in ways that any normal, reasonable person can grasp - they (as in her) do not listen, do not hear. Once again I feel steamrollered. And utterly insulted.
One day up, the next day down, time to brace myself for another ride on the exhausting roller coaster of my life. And I know there are too many people, bloggers, readers, friends out there who share similar, very similar feelings, who truly, and unfortunately, "get it". It's both a comfort to know "you are not alone" but at the same time this shared pain relentlessly recharge the Weltschmerz.
I really wish I didn't have to repeat myself like this, but seriously, when will it finally end and when will I be able to at last un-trap myself from this hateful system, when will I be able to breath again? This is Sweden and its way of life at one of its uttermost degrading low points. Sometimes, some days the happiness in good shoes, magical music and miniature matters just seems awfully far away... This is life and feelings, on an August Tuesday Anno 2011.
Oh Pia,
ReplyDeleteI totally feel for you, but sadly cannot give you words of encouragement or comfort as I find myself in a similar position in the U.K. Since being made redundant (by senior power greedy people in the HR department because my face no longer fit), I and my husband have been abandoned by the state, we have been living on my savings for the past few months and its dwindling fast. On Friday, I went for a job interview. As soon as I walked in I knew I did not have the job as one of the interviewers told me they were running late and I had not even got seated...as if to tell me to hurry and get out, and that they have already made their decision. I don't have the fake confidence of some people to talk out of their backside and lie; and I am not a person who has lots of academic publications to impress, so I am not their kind of candidate. I heard today for sure that I did not get the job. Even though I had a feeling this was going to be the outcome, I have still been very upset - so all i can say to you is 'I honestly heartfelt feel for your'. Warmest of wishes.
PS Forgive me for the spelling mistakes in my previous comment, I just get so carried away x
I really wish I had some words of wisdom and/or comfort. I have a very cynical and dark view of humans--our petty egos, greed, jockeying for so-called power, etc. And so I expect very little, perhaps nothing, from most people, whether that be in work or in other areas of my life. Not the best way to live, which is why those small "happys" are so very important.
ReplyDeleteSending universal Light for encouragement and hope!
Hoping and wishing for things to improve and your pain to ease. Soon.
ReplyDeleteHow is it that to succeed anywhere it seems you have to be a jerk, a thief, or an out and out liar. Those of us who prefer to be none of the above seem to just get left behind with boot prints on our backs from where we have been walked on.
ReplyDeleteWell, we must make a pact, that we will not become like them that want to walk all over people. We will stay good people and make it thru anyway. Not let them turn us into them. We can all be there for each other even from other sides of the ocean.
Thank you for your kindness, and words of encouragement today!
Hang in there!
ReplyDelete"There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people that treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."
---unknown---
the only way to combat it is for us to write that book. let's stop procrastinating and just do it.
ReplyDelete