on the path to purpose and fulfillment

Writing about the things I do, see and live while I'm desperately trying to change direction in life (where some days feel more desperate than others) does honestly come more and more difficult. And by changing direction I obviously mean my quest for a job in line with my passion and skills, you know, the feeling that you've finally found your kind of people, with shared values, in your kind of place.

I've apparently been looking for two years now, tentatively at first, really focused this year. And still I don't seem to be any closer to that clearly illusive thing. I know, I know, what's meant to be will be, and every detour and bumpy road is a step closer to the right place and all that. But I would be lying if I didn't admit to being seriously jaded by the process now. It's exhausting. And infuriating, frustrating et al.

I really wanted to share some great news on the job front in this post. But alas I got a no today, for a job that I would absolutely have loved. Interview went great, felt like a great match. And the feedback was, again, lovely, they'd been smittened by me and had looked into the possibility of hiring two communicators instead of one, but hadn't come up with the funds for it currently. But who knows what might happen, let's keep in contact for the future and so forth. (The one they went for had a solid environmental background, which they deemed more important.)

That's all well and good, and I'm of course grateful and happy for the words, they give warm and fuzzy feelings, but it doesn't get me out of my getting nowhere-state or pay the bills.

So, back to looking for other jobs within sustainability communications. And back to crossing fingers, toes and paws with tiny claws the right place, the right company, the right organisation and my kind of people soon will cross paths with me and there will finally be metaphorical fireworks of happy heureka.

But obviously nothing will happen for about 8 weeks now as Sweden is (in)famous for closing down during the summer months. I'll do my very best trying to enjoy the summer - we've had reasonable temperatures and glorious rains so far, touch wood that'll continue to be the Swedish summer of 2019, please. I do not envy southern Europe, I remember how horrible, awful, devastating last summer was up here in the north - and continue to better myself in various ways.



Including reading books, I might even tick the box of 5 books in June. 3,5 so far. And my big goal is of course 5 books per month June, July and August. It has been quite enjoyable so far, spending time reading more than usual. That amidst everything I've actually rekindled with my reading mojo, go figure.



Since the last post I've also been to my accountant for signing of the annual closing papers - and for the second year in a row she did some kind of magic with it, as far as I'm concerned. And her dog, Maya, is of course über-cute as usual.



I've had good meals, cooked great things, met good people, walked and talked good matters, enjoyed my summer dress, there was Midsummer (which has of course never been anything I celebrate, I only appreciate its long weekend-feature) and I got myself a snazzy little red vegan handbag from Matt & Nat. Yes I'm trying to downsize what I carry in my handbag, wish me luck with that...

Oh, and I had a brief appointment with Dr Feist, a bit of an ear issue that was easily rectified. Hadn't seen her for 6 years, since all the health nastiness of 2012/13. But it was just like we've met last month, it was so nice to see her again and we had a good chat which as usual left me in a really good mood. Imagine that every doctor's appointment made you feel like that, upbeat and positive.



Even if I'm currently feeling rather disappointed about the promising job that wasn't meant to be, and struggle with a lot of frustration, I acknowledge that June has still been a rather lovely, overall month (despite the lack of blue hair). The gorgeous scent of mock orange has been heavy in my garden, Ztina has been doing better and I'm grateful for my always happy summer wardrobe of old and new (which is a superficial thing I know, but nevertheless, clothes in fabulous colours and patterns that look and feel great have always been such a pleasure to me).



In the last shivering days of the month I'm also watching Babylon Berlin, which is a very enjoyable for many reasons. It makes me miss Berlin even more, but I'm also ever so grateful I'm living here and now and not in the 1920ies. And I have a serious crush on "Zu Asche, zu Staub", magic.

This will most likely be the last post for the month of June, so thank you so much, sweet June, for all the valuable lessons you've given, for the sun and the rain, and for the treasured time to read. Another month older, another month wiser.

hello summer dress 2019, blue hair, hot weather angst, wempowerment and other june snippets

Say hello to summer dress 2019 - I may not have enjoyed enjoyed the blouse back in March, but I couldn't forget the delightful happy Marimekko pattern. When it turned out there was indeed a knee length dress I've had it on my wish list and now it has moved in. It's lovely. The weather so far has been undecisive, either too hot or rainy and chilly so I haven't found the perfect day to wear it yet. But there's many more days of summer still. (And hopefully some decent years and summers left for us all...)



I've finished one book in the little signed heap I got at the Feelgood evening last month. Thus ticking of 1 book on my goal-list of making it 5 read this month. I hadn't read 5 of the six authors before, so as I'm a finicky reader I'm not sure what I'll think of them. Time will tail (pun!). First book was okey, chic-lit clichés for sure but also rather enjoyable and with  good points. Easy and quick read. Not sure I'll be able to keep that pace up though, I don't plan every book to be easy reads.



Two weeks use of the vegan, organic deodorant Nuud and I have to say it's been absolutely great. For me it works 3-4 days before I need a new application on clean, dry skin. And even if I need a new application it' never that obvious icky and more or less stinky feeling as with your average common deo. I always feel dry and comfortable. Free postage world wide, so it's definitely worth a try.



Ztina has decided my forever rule of "no cats in the bedroom" rule doesn't apply to her. The galloping when she's awake and not busy with some impawtant stuff, when she hears me opening the door, might be considered legendary. And as she has been through so much I don't have the heart to not let her spend some time in there. Obviously she's good at making the most of her special need status.



Used the blue non-permanent vegan hair colour from Maria Nila last weekend. Huge disappointment. Nothing whatsoever like the lovely pink one that worked surprisingly well on my brown grombre hair. I guess it just wasn't a colour for darker hair, or grey for that matter. Ah well, at least I got a good hair pak from it. And I'm definitely up for trying more colours, they alas don't have green in their colour range, but a few reds and violet that might work.



The hot weather last week (close to +30C) was obviously climate angst inducing. But at least it made me make by first batch of ice tea in my special Löv tea jug. I'm sure it would have worked well if I had actually had ice cubes ready in the freezer too. I only had frozen coconut water, and well, not really the same. I also think cold brewing ice tea is a much better solution.



Have a couple of job interviews booked for this week. Of which one especially is for a job that sounds seriously good. Also have a "you've reached stage 2 in the process"- task to finish. I'm a bit hesitant if it's a job I really really want though, if it's worth to put in the time to do it etc. But great thoughts and positive vibes, fingers. toes and paws crossed is always appreciated. While I keep on trusting that timing of the universe...







This morning I attended an wempowering breakfast at vegan cafe GigaFood (which is a WWF One Planet Plate-certified cafe ie every dish served is made within the boundaries of a healthy planet). Hosted by W.Empowerment and talk by UPotential, the gym for mental fitness. Great way to start the morning. But to be honest, everything they talked about, and the exercises we did, was a confirmation of where I already am.



After years of various reads, coaches, therapy, talks, workshops and personal development there isn't much I haven't heard a lot of times already. But yes, to get a confirmation of everything I've learnt, everything I've accomplished, how much I've grown, that's also a sweet thing. Just as this rawfood blueberry cheesecake was.



The pink Re-Kånken has enjoyed a few outings. As have the vegan sneakers. And a gazillion outings for the denim skirt of course. And a decent few for green blouse. Block colours are lovely.



The hot days have meant some hours in the shade on the new sunbed - the old one broke beyond repair in 2016, the ancient one broke beyond repair last summer - I had forgotten how blissful it is to have one that's firm and restful. The not so hot, but still sunny days have meant a few hours in the sun soaking up some natural vitamin Ds. One must always be prepared for a sneaky feline hostile  takeover though. They think it's perfect for muddy paws and scratching claws. As I disagree strongly, it always needs to be put away when I'm not using it. Hopefully that will make for a few more yrars of excellent summer use.



I've taken the second shot against the dreaded TBE disease. Unlike the first shot, this time my arm was pretty sore for a few days. Will have the third and final shot in August, and then I at least won't have to dread the nastiest thing that can happen from a close encounter with ticks.

Thank you so far, June, you've been good. Let's continue on the path of greatness, m-kay?
xox, all gratitude,
undersigned.

PS Will now add pictures to the old few recent blog posts without any. Photos make everything better. DS