goodbye may, hello june 2020

I lied. I'm sorry. It did take another month for a post to appear here again. I'm too tired, jaded, worried, sad, angry, heartbroken (take your pick for the day) to feel inspired, energized and happy enough to blog these days. It's really difficult to look forward to things, imagine a prosperous future. The feeling of Weltschmerz on your shoulders is particularly heavy in these times.

Not happy enough to do anything substantial or newsworthy really. Funnily enough I read a lot, which usually is something I struggle with (loosing my mojo for) when I'm in a low place. But there you are. And go for walks and cook. The nature is gorgeous this time of the year and the weather has been on the chilly side of early summer (which I'm grateful for, we need lots of rain). But still, the world is very limited and small right now.

Oh, and I do a lot of guided meditation, a few times each day, between 15-45 minutes at a time. Have however not found the peace and serenity in it I had hoped and waited for. Somehow I think the times we are living in are too overwhelming for that to happen. It will take time, a long time. But one thing that has improved, my mind doesn't wander as much as before. That's at least something.



I finished both courses I took this spring, the Science of Well-Being at Yale and the shorter one in Swedish on Climate, Environment and Consumption. The first one was great and very inspiring - but as I said, the rough and extraordinary times we are living in makes it a real struggle to apply all that new knowledge in real life... - the second one was alright. No new information for me, but a lot of useful things to brush up on regarding sustainability and choices.

My best tips for being a better earthling and champion for sustainability and peace are still -

• Go Vegan! And do it NOW.
• Buy organic and avoid palmoil.
• Consume less, consume better.
• Fly less, much much much less.
• Stop your routine-like driving everywhere. (Yes, I know, public transport just isn't an healthy option currently, but things will not stay like this forever. Walk, bike and take the bus/train. Do the healthy, sustainable thing.)

I'm involved in a couple job processes. But to be honest I don't have a good gut feeling about neither of them. When a process is stretched out and you don't get updates, it just doesn't feel ... right anymore. You question the company, you question yourself, and is it really such a great match... Oh how illusive is that dream job of mine...

Vegoforum was obviously cancelled in March due to corona, but last week it was turned into two digital seminars with focus on sustainable, healthy, vegan school meals. Great speakers, great insights, and very inspiring. I wish we could all go out and make a quick and radical difference right here and now with all that inspiration.

I'm also doing volunteer work as a board member in the non-profit association SMMI (Svensk Mat- och Miljöinformation, Swedish Food- and Environmental information) now, Vegoforum is one of their projects. The mission is to promote, teach and inspire about a sustainable food chain and the environment, tied to the Agenda 2030 and its sustainable development goals. It's lovely to *see* the knowledge and dedication of the people involved in the movement. But as much as I love that, this too is a struggle as we're confined to Zoom-meetings (so not a fan. Who knew that a simple telephone call/conference would feel like a relief one day... for an Odd Phoney) so far. 

After M's passing in 2016, I never eat take away. I cook everything myself, unless I'm eating out obviously. But the fact that a Thai foodtruck that can veganize about 20 dishes on the menu, has opened up nearby has been such a lovely change during corona-times. Have had a few take aways with my mum so far, the food is great (and especially the tofu is perfect) and it's kind of a weekly-ish highlight. I hope they get enough business in the neighbourhood to stay put. We'll kickstart June with a Thai lunch too, happiness boosters are few and far away. Even for us who has so so much to be grateful about during these troubled times.

Last week Marimekko had a digital runway with participants all over the world showing their summer outfits inspired by Marimekko, on Instagram, instead of the annual Helsinki fashion show. It was really sweet. And one of those little treasured happiness boosting things to watch people of different sizes, colours, gender and ages loving their outfits and strutting their stuff. This was my wee contribution, love the Unikko filter for Instagram. And yes, I did a vegan Maria Nila colour refresh a couple of week's ago again - mixed pink pop and cherry red.

As there are currently no reasons to dress in all my pretty dresses or favourite clothes in general, I try to at least take one out for fresh air once per week. Which basically means, let's make a dress effort for walks to the grocery stores or the Thai foodtruck.

As much as I was and is proud of the Swedish covid-19 strategy I'm now very less than proud of the blatant negligent and careless attitude of far too many Swedes when the sun came out. I know that I wrote about that last month too, but seriously, people are indeed idiots. And watching the news, it's most certainly not a Swedish thing only. Idiots everywhere.

And I can't say I'm any happier about the open up-strategies in other countries either. Much too soon, too casual I'd say. Opening up to the second wave. And thus putting further strains on all the incredibly hard working hospital staff (will they ever have time to heal, rest, recuperate and get a decent pay I wonder...). But there you are. Life and people are currently particularly hard to grasp and relate to, on so many levels.

Goodbye, May, you have been pretty, you have been a struggle. Thank you for the insights and lessons, but I'm sad to say it wasn't very good to meet you this year.

Hello, June, I really hope, wish and keep my fingers crossed for more joy, kindness and progress. Can you, please, pretty pretty down on my knees please, make some dreams come true? And if there's anything more I can do to make that happen, please do show and tell!