2025/26 has been the roughest of year/s. And yes, I do know I am far from alone feeling this. When you think things can’t get worse it does.
But this blog is from my point of view, and this is my birthday. So I cry if I want to.
And I have never felt so depleted as I do now. Spending my birthday preparing the final details shutting down my business. It is just utterly đź’” I couldn’t keep the business going and get a steady income from it any longer. So yes, obviously I can now put the “failed business woman to my CV” - this was not what I had envisioned in 2012.
You know how the saying goes something like, when one door is closing another one opens. Currently I can’t see any openings, any viable opportunities. Life seems quite pointless and meaningless. Truth be told.
A steady, reasonable income is a must in this capitalistic world we have created. And I would suggest most of us do not thrive in it, slaves to the wages as we are.
I have had a mostly very good life, with ups and downs like everyone else. But now I am so very tired of the continued struggling and short term solutions. Every. darn. month. This was neither what I envisioned in my original life goals mind map. How pointless was that Master Degree, when this was all it accomplished?
Over the years I’ve become a master of seeing and appreciating the little pockets of joy in life - which I suppose this blog might be a testament of - but it was far too long (a gazillion years) since I had those long, heartfelt proper laughs I once upon a time had regularly and effortlessly. A faint smile is all I can (rarely) muster today.
In a world that is getting crazier and crazier by the day. Or to be honest stupidier and stupidier by the minute. Education, science and facts are more important than ever, yet the patronizing disdain from the willfully ignorant and hateful have certainly blossomed.
“The idea that the world is ending is becoming more comforting everyday.”
So, happy birthday to me. At least I got a fairly good vegan cream cake, the renowned Swedish Princess Cake, this year, with my failed business dealings today. Where does one go from here?
Where is the meaning hiding?
1 comment:
Oh goodness. Happy Birthday Pia! I so hear and understand your hopelessness. Living in the U.S., I feel like we are living in an occupied country under a totalitarian regime (which we are). I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the election next week and pray that the regime will not do anything to undercut our always free and fair elections.
Money worries are always at the top of my list. I'm so sorry you had to close down your business. After being laid off from a non profit where I had worked for 30 years in 2020 (during the pandemic), I realize just how important it is to have a steady paycheck. Since no one would hire an over 60 year old, I went out on my own and have been working independently part time since 2021. My hours have dwindled significantly since then. While I would routinely get between 35-40 hours a month , which was enough to live on, now I'm struggling to make it to 10 hours for a month. I don't know how old you are? Does Sweden have old age pensions like our Social Security? I signed up for it a year ago before my full Retirement Age because I had no choice. It's amazing how having money automatically put into my bank account every month makes such a difference in my stress! I need to make the decision to sell my house and move to a less expensive area of the country in the next few years. While I hate having to do that, it will free up some money so I won't be constantly counting pennies! I so hope you find something to make you smile!
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