another year older, another year wiser - the 2018 edition

so, what did happen during my last week as a xx year old, followed by my first week as a xx year old, a year wiser?

:: i decided that when the purrfect dress wasn't meant to be, surely a sausage dog cardigan in organic cotton would be the perfect birthday gift to self instead? from palava (same source as the delightful budgie skirt). i spent a lot of time figuring out the best size (ordering online when you don't know a brand well is tricky, no matter careful measuring). talking to the customer service too.

decided to go up an extra 1-2 sizes, wanted it roomy. it arrived gorgeous but also way too big. so had to be returned (add hefty trackable postage) for another one smaller. opted for one size smaller, so i hope it'll be roomy, but not that oversized.

and as the swedish postal "service" is notoriously crappy it was quite the kerfuffle at the post office since it turned out they didn't have the means to print the waybill *insert rolling eyes* so i had to pop over to the library to pay for a print of it.

i can see it landed in england yesterday, so hopefully i'll get my new cardi later this week. fingers crossed it'll be a purrfect fit.

even if some think it's pure treason to dress in dog prints obviously.





:: watched the powerful documentary "the devil we know" the other week (still available on svt play in sweden) about teflon and C8. and how it has been poisoning the world since the 1940ies, and continue doing so because of greed alone. the company DuPont and its spin-off company Chemours certainly are the epitome of dirty, evil, greedy and powerful big business. i knew teflon was unhealthy, but had no idea about the extent of it, how basically noone can escape its consequenses.

just another proof that humans don't deserve this earth.

first thing i did next day was to buy a stainless steel frying pan (pots i already have). trying to figure out where i can get rid of the teflon pans in a sustainable way.

didn't feel very sensual (despite its name) buying the pan at ikea. but it has been great (and comes with a 25 year guarantee). noticed that at least 95% of the pots and pans at ikea are teflon coated though. and much cheaper that the few stainless steel ones.

so much cheap stuff that have been poisiing and littering our planet for decades. heartbreaking and infuriating.



:: "så mycket bättre" (so much better) is a swedish reality show with that has been aired for 9 years now. the premise is that 7 swedish artists meet up on gotland where they each have one day where the other artists interpret one song each from the hosting artist's repertoire.

admittedly i've never watched the series until now, not very interested in watching "the club of mutual admiration society"ish reality shows. plus none of the previous artists have been favourites of mine. but this year eric gadd participates. and i used to love his music, especially in the 80ies and 90ies.



and i adore linnea henriksson's version of his song, "the right way".

here's gadd's original version.



and albin lee meldau's version. his vibrato voice is so cool. a touch of antony and the johnsons.



:: on the bday, which was a wonderful, sunny and crisp october day, we visited millesgården, art museum and sculpture park (one of the true gems of stockholm you shouldn't miss), for the william morris exhibition. i didn't know that he besides being an amazingly talented artist, architect and designer also was a radical political activist. an overall very impressive, inspiring human being.







:: the museum visit was followed with a lovely vegan lunch at the new place VeganHouse. tasty butter bean and black rice burgers with fries and delicious chipotle mayo.



i did of course have the obligatory piece of plantbased cream cake later that week. (from bagar'n hornstull, my old childhoods.)



:: in my first week as a xx year old i visited my accountant for the second annual meeting. after a worrisome year - mainly thanks to the dodgy client and unreliable team mates, and myself for being to trusting of people that clearly had other motifs - i knew i'd already manage to save my business, with a last minute solution which i'm ever so very grateful for, but it was still a rather uncomfortable visit. but being greeted with a long bark of excitement, followed by a good lick and cuddle by the cuteheart office dog maya was the best kind of start.





turned out to be a lovely day. minus the 3 x 2 hours of public transportation to norrtälje. plus me forgetting to bring bread for the ducks and getting a good disgruntled quack by the city ducks of norrtälje.



:: then on world vegan day the arm was finally relieved of the plaster. rejoice!



i had expected the left arm to be thin and weak. instead it turned out to be thicker and the hand swollen, and weak. an ugly sight. and there'll be a lot of work with physiotherapy at home. the muscles are shorter, the broken, cured bones rigid and un-cooperative. i'm basically still the one-armed cat vomit slip woman. but i'm working on it. and it's such a relief to take a decent shower and not having to worry about getting the plaster wet.



:: world vegan day, a reminder that as long as we continue to eat the flesh of innocent beings the world will continue to be a violent place. meat eating is of course not only violent and unhealthy, but also one of the largest contributors to climate change. and yet it continues to be the elephant in the room that politicians and individuals alike refuse to seriously address.

make the connection, please.



:: the arm in freedom needs a lot of TLC, apart from physio, so i got it some handscrub and handcream at lush. and look, the amazing snow fairy scent is now available in body spray too. swoon.



:: and for world vegan day there was also a special price on fabulous, swedish, vegan haircare brand maria nila and as i've almost worked my way through all my old haircare products it was a perfect time to get some.

with the buying came the option of getting it delivered, included in price, instead of having to pick it up at the post office. and with the one hand issue i thought that would be good. turned out to be not merely a good, but a great solution. the company budbee home delivers between 5pm and 10pm, with an estimaated delivery time. after 5pm you get updates in real time and you can follow the driver's progress on a map on the phone. with moments of "oh no, you should have turned left there!".

how many of us haven't wasted days waiting for deliveries from the old, giant delivery companies that obviously don't really care about customer service "we'll be there sometime between 8 am and 5 pm"?



if budbee follows labour laws and has decent salaries - of which don't know, but start-ups can be notorious for not heeding to that... - i think they have a great and highly service-minded idea.

and as sharing is caring someone loved the box the products came in too.



dear november, if you could please continue to be just as great as you've started, i would be ever so grateful and happy.

the purrfect dress that wasn't meant to be and other weekly snippets

counting down to plaster comes off day - 10 now.

and before that there's a day to "celebrate" i've become yet another year older. and a year wiser, that's more celebratory in my world. 3 days to that.

for years i used to get myself a pair of shoes for my birthday. but since i do shy away from buying leather for some years now that's not an option.

- not counting the fact that i don't really need more shoes. other than a pair of icebugs for what i dread will be another winter of crazy icy streets in stockholm. but that's of course an investment in my safety and health, not a fashion/consumerism thing. -



i didn't get myself anything last year, if a leaky roof and the costs and worry that held counts. but this year i wanted to gift myself a special dress. and as you can see this one meowed my name loud and clear. pink. cats. om my gosh.



as it was impossible to try it on properly in the changing room due to plaster inconvenience, but it looked like it would fit, i got it to be returned if it didn't.

it didn't. if it wasn't such a disappointment for a not so crazy cat lady with a penchant for pink, it would be laughable. clearly the dress was made for flatchested cat women. myself i showed the infamous, unflattering loaf bosom instead. so back it went. got myself a little scarf in the same fabric. i'm hoping i'll be able to use it for some fine, literally pussy bows with it on other dresses and blouses.



i also got myself some lovely rooibos tea in a moomin tin. one odd and annoying little thing with a broken arm is that it's impossible to fill loose tea in bags and strainers. the angle is just too painful. so when not someone is around to help i've had to have tea bags only. it's a rare treat when i get to fill a bag of my own with help. and when the plaster comes off it will be a standard again, hooray!



this week's special coffee was a cococcino at johan & nyström, coconut oil and oat milk, new on their autumn menu. it was nice, but i do prefer their excellent oat latte. best thing was meeting this chocolate coloured sweetheart named laika. i even got a friendly little cuddle. cafes that allow dog guests are just so much better than any other cafes.





as ben & jerry's wonderful, palmoil free, vegan nicecream costs the equivalent of gold in sweden, it was excitement when i realised coop stores sold it at 50% discount this week. i may have stocked up. a bit. my absolute favourite is peanutbutter & cookies, unfortunately everyone else seem to think so too. i don't like chunky monkey much. but chocolate fudge brownie ain't half bad either.



stockholm has been pretty in october.



i've also re-discovered the joys of the library. i still do prefer to own books from my favourite authors and such. just because i love to write in them, take notes, re-read passages and so forth. but with books and writers i'm uncertain of it's perfect to take them for a test read i e borrow them at the library.

right now i need a lot of feel-good books, to stop brooding and rest the brain. not a genre i like to buy, if not from charity shops. so that's where library books come handy too. currently devouring the 'mad about the boy' in the bridget jones-series. as she's now meant to be around my age it's interesting to see how it's partly easy to relate to parts of her life after mark darcy passed away (sob) partly i'm feeling like a very proper grown-up (even with my fondness for bobbaloos and sonny angels). she's still such a crazy immature character. which i suppose is part of the entertainment of the book, of course.



my hand has been pretty sore regularly this week. like in growing pains or muscle soreness. not unbearable, touch wood. but i get a bit panicky because i just want to rip the plaster off and flex, exercise it in a much less restricted way. counting the days indeed.

i'm glad i have the muppets - even if one of them obviously also is the cause of all this... - that try their very best to keep me occupied. or use me to their advantage, that cast is the perfect rest for a cat head...

but mostly they're just cute overload. and much much much better than any cat dress.





cheers (in a ginger shot) to another october week, 
may it be special, colourful and joyous ~

authenticity is a beautiful thing

counting the days to november 1, when the plaster comes off. oh the joy to be able to wear long sleeved things, to actually close the coats and jackets. to be able to have a long and decent shower. to peel, chop and grate veggies. not having to worry about getting the left arm wet. to lift things with both arms. to sleep in whatever position i want not having to accomodate the arm angle. to write properly. etc etc etc. all those simple everyday things we mostly take for granted.

but as inconvenient, painful, costly and time consuming as this situation is, perhaps i needed it to slow down a bit. and see things in another light.

earlier this week i felt a significant improvement with the hand, but i might have overdone it since. it's darn difficult to be patient, and you do want to test the limits. plus it's a fine line between the ordered physiotherapy and overstraining yourself.

before the p day (as in plaster) comes another p day (as in birthday). looking forward to the william morris exhibition at millesgården and some lovely vegan food on that day. and after the plaster comes off i might treat myself to a facial. my tired skin deserves it.

i do miss the autumn trips we used to take for my birthdays, m and i, but to be honest, just the thought of flying fills me with shame these days. i really really miss travelling, but as long as it's not done in an environmentally sound way on the ground i can't see myself doing it again.

which obviously is a deep sorrow in itself, the favourite places and cities that now seem so out of reach. but this is where the rich world's living has gotten our planet. we all need to share our responsability for that. and change our habits.



pelle is doing great after his neutering. he seems calmer and a bit more playful. and i don't have to worry about unwanted kittens.



i've enjoyed "the split" so much. i always love a decent legal drama, of course, and even more so when it's multilayered, questions human nature and why we behave like we do. nicola walker is great like always (she's such a versatile actor) and well, barry atsma is too plus a decent eye candy. still available on svt play in sweden. and i see there's a season two coming next year, hooray.



after five years of extensive renovating the national museum re-opened in stockholm this weekend. it's one of my favourite museums and i can't wait to see what they've done with it. this beautiful documentary on svt play (available in sweden only) really wets the appetite. such a gem filled with craftsmanship, innovation and attention to detail.

150 years ago it was the most modern national museum in the world, now it is again.



i'm hopeful that there's finally a decent solution in sight to my financial worries. which i'm not going to share on the internetz - it's that fine line between personal and private. but needless to say it would be glorious to be able to spend a significantly less amount of time worrying and say goodbye to sleepless nights.



obviously no baking my own vegan cinnamon buns for kanelbullens dag this year - but here's a recipe if you want to - but this bunch of vegan ones from bagar'n hornstull were delightful!



i've begun working on a social media, communication, marketing project within urban farming and the agrotech sector. it has been a year since i first heard of the exciting project. and hadn't i been involved in the project that turned out to be a massive let down by a dodgy client and unreliable team mates, i might not be where i am today. which i hope and think is a good place to be. (despite the worry, anger, tears and disappointment it also took to get here.)

i won't ask you to keep your fingers crossed again for ms sustainability 2018, because no matter what, what is meant to be will be. and there's no place like hope.



i also had a really lovely interview at an international animal rights organisation last week. i usually shy away from applying for positions in such organisations because they're just too close to my heart. but the ad screamed my name (head of digital communication). and whatever happens, i'm chuffed to have been one of the six chosen for an interview out of hundreds of applicants.



after the interview i had a spicy pumpkin latte (oat milk) and since global warming has given us +16 degrees celsius in mid october i could enjoy it (with mixed feelings) outdoors.



currently listening a lot to london grammar, specifically "hell to the liars". beautiful. as truth. and authenticity are. and the colours of october.

goodbye september, hello october

it's world vegetarian day today. united nations have now declared meat production the biggest environmental issue.

please be kind, be a true, smart environmentalist and go vegan. for the animals, for the planet, for your health and for a kinder, more compassionate world.



how about my poor broken arm? well, i had a dt scan on wednesday - 8 am, in the middle of rush hour, so in order to beat it i left home at 5.40 already and arrived at the hospital at 6.45. and yes i had to wait until after 8 to get my scan. which took the whole of 2 minutes - on thursday i had an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. i didn't even have to argue for not having a surgery, he just asked if i had changed my mind about it. if not i'd get a better plaster, that i had to wear for 5 more weeks and then a lot of physical therapy.

not happy about 5 more weeks in plaster - and oh my, how i dream of a proper, long shower with lots of bubbly soap... - but so relieved about no surgery. the plaster will come off on november 1st, so yeah, my birthday will be plastered this year. literally.



the fascinating thing about my new plaster is that it's made of wood (aspen), environmental friendly and biodegradable. very light and easy to wear compared to the previous hummungus one. and i don't have my elbow fixed anymore.

a very odd and quite annoying thing with the re-plastering process - the nurse (male) kept talking about how smelly it is to have cats. 'no it isn't if you use good cat litter and clean the boxes properly' 'oh, i've had cats myself i know they smell'. seriously. he was good with the plastering, but clearly not very competent when it came to social skills and small talk. and one would think that health care staff should be aware of the fact that pets mean the world to a lot of people (even when one slip on their vomit and broke an arm), and are important for recovery processes. plus really, humans doesn't exactly smell like roses either using their equivalent to litter boxes.



i've scheduled a neutering for pelle this week. i should have done this ages ago, but he's such a doll and very easy going for a non-neuter. but since i'm now unable to give the pill to my still fertile girls with this plaster i'm really worried about unwanted kittens. and the easiest thing is to neuter him. he's 13 years old, so i feel guilty i haven't done it earlier, but it is how it is. hopefully he'll have quite a few more happy years with us all. his punishment for throwing up and me slipping in it, broking my arm one might say.



when it comes to finances everything is figureoutable, they (the illusive they) say. i'm working hard on figuring out my predicament. ever since m's death i've done that, but what i've thought would be sustainable long-term solutions have so far just been short ones. and the nasty let down didn't exactly help. i'm proud of everything i've accomplished, how much i've grown, but i'm also getting exhausted, so very tired, of all this seemingly constant problem-solving and short-term solutions.

for everything i'm grateful for having, having had in my life, i'm also sad that this is where i am financially. at a stage in my life where i really had expected i would have the perfect blend of both freedom and security. life decided differently. to work hard to find creative, great solutions while fighting the panic that's seeping in through the cracks - that's not only where the light comes in -, is not ideal.

and now i'm doing it with a broken, very blue arm. seems befitting somehow.

i do have a few interesting job interviews and possible gigs lined up this week though. may the perfect long-term solution appear soon, very very soon. dear, october, you are my birthday month, so that's not too much to as for as a perfect birthday gift, right? right.

the dangerous incident with the cat in the night time

on tuesday night i slipped in a cat vomit - oh the joy - on the living room floor. unfortunately i fell badly and my left hand was caught under me. i really really desperately hoped it was only sprained. after 5 hours in a highly inefficient emergency room - which was far from full - the following day it turned out it was badly broken.

in such a complicated way they sent me on to a specialist hospital. which seemed slightly more efficient. still it was another couple of hours, with very kind nurses and doctors, with a very painful shot followed by an even more painful adjusting of broken wrist before getting a humongous plaster.

now i'd really like to write some less than positive words about the decline of the swedish health care system, which i blame a lot on the brain-dead decision to give profit-driven private businesses free rein to the health care sector in sweden. but i need to keep it arm restingly short.

i have follow up appointments at the hospital next week. and i seriously question how they've tried to convince me that surgery is a must. i'm firmly against it for many reasons. it's my body, i decide. i can listen to arguments, but at the end of the day, my body, let me heal in peace. period.



after 9 hours without food (and that was a measly breakfast of two crisp breads an a glass of water) i finally sat down at a favourite cafe and devoured this before i headed home and had a surprisingly long and restful night's sleep (despite evening coffee).

as i've mentioned before, many years ago i slipped while bathing a cat and broke my right arm. which was complicated in another way since it's my writing arm. but then i had m to help, with daily things. now i have to figure things out myself, and ask my mum for some help with odd things.

how uncomplicated life seems with to working arms you usually take for granted. apart from the obvious awkwardness of taking showers, wash the hair and emptying litter boxes it's also a struggle to peel carrots, cut vegetables and put on a bra (ouch). and not least sleep in a position beneficial for the arm in a humungous plaster.

amidst getting used to this i had to pick up my new iphone, because my old subscription runs out soon. turned out it was a much more complicated process to switch phones and subscriptions than i had ever anticipated. but after screaming, crying and cursing (at home) and complaining and demanding (with the phone company support, that really needs to learn some basic stuff..., in the phone shop and in the end apple, which was the most pedagogical and helpful) i sorted it.



really didn't need this hassle on top on everything else right now. but i'm darn proud i fixed it.

i'm also proud i managed to write this. with no upper cases. you're welcome.

sick leave is not on the agenda of course. just another setback to work myself through. onwards and upwards. i will miss my old iphone model, it played a very important role at a difficult time in my life. but it's time to say goodbye and let it fly off to new adventures. and hello to new ones of my own.