magic meet cute and other tiny stories of the day

Remember the three TBE shots I took last year? They needed to be topped up this year and after that it's every fifth year - whether or not the planet will exist in a state that calls for TBE-refill-shots in five years, that's another story... So as things are, I was very grateful there are several mobile vaccination centers doing the rounds over the summer here.



So today I took a walk to Lidl's parking lot, which was the vaccination bus's stop for the day. When I was getting closer I saw something that, in my vivid imagination, looked like a guy who'd lay down on his back in the tall grass and was taking pictures of the trees and the sky. (I know, that's such a weird thought...).



Then suddenly a roe deer appeared on the path and stood looking at me. I was so worried she might turned back to the road instead of heading in to the woods, but she crossed the road. Moments later a little fawn appeared, and also stood looking at me for a while, before s/he followed the mama.

Pure magic. And as I was the only human around on the walking path this moment was truly mine alone, with a roe deer and her baby. Three is a magic number.

As you can only do so much with the iPhone camera, if you're not close enough - and I wouldn't dream of zooming because heavily pixelated photos are awful -, this is what I got. And with a smartphone camera the distance to the photo-object gets significantly prolonged compared to the reality, so the meet cute was quite a lot closer. You'll have to squint and imagine the beautiful sight. (Or click on the image and zoom on Flickr.)



I got the vaccination, so now I at least don't have to worry about tick-borne encephalitis - I have enough to worry about, thank you very much -, quite common in these part of Sweden. One of the judges at my previous work, 20 years ago, got it. And that man, so full of joie de vivre before, never was the same again. Living with cats and dogs also obviously makes it more likely you might get it. I love most animals (as opposed to humans, they're impossible to love as a species), I can coexist with the others, but ticks, they're just evil and only cause pain and destruction. Like too many humans I suppose.



Then I got this vegan nicecream from Danish plantbased company Naturli, at Lidl. To be honest I haven't been a fan of the brand since I first tried their vegan butter spread, awful thing that completely destroys a pleasant sandwich experience. But the flavours sounded delicious and it is palmoil-free, so we decided to try a couple of them. Little Mum and I.



Happy to report they are both absolutely delicious, so much flavour and great creamy texture with crunchy bits. I'll just have to go back and get some more tubs and also try the liquorice flavour. It's good to find new favourite products, when old ones break your heart.

As this evening also held the very last (forever? Which if so is sad, since I thought the last season definitely picked up in quality plot-wise) episode of Midsomer Murders, the dairy-free icecream was a perfect treat for that too. The Swedish summer season generally both starts and ends with MM (would be a pity if it ended in late July already, but nothing is given with global warming, the seasons just aren't what they used to be...), so maybe this treat also was a a farewell to the summer of 2020. Hope not. Fingers crossed it will be with us until early September, as the summer it once was.

With the smaller, more restricted lives most of us are currently living, most things that used to feel nonsensical and just one of those everyday things you see, do, experience without really noticing, are suddenly very meaningful, rich enough to be savoured, to feel gratitude over - or deep irritation for that matter - and write a little blog post about. 

Today was a good day. And I'm grateful, for every little bit of it. But most of all that magical meet cute, that crossed my path. Thank you, Universe, for a new treasured experience and loved memory.

walk into 2020 like it's a rainbow paradise on fire

First of all, I adore you, my January 2020 music crush - Harry Styles has never been on my radar, 'he's in one of those countless generic boybands, right...?', but I saw him on The Graham Norton Show (which I love) and was completely smittened by the song and his totally snazzy dressing. Look. At. That. Suit. Fabulous.

Secondly. The year, the roaring 20ies have sadly started with one soul-crushing event after the other. And so, to my fellow climate angstees, I recommend this piece on How To Stop Freaking Out and Tackle Climate Change with a pretty great and constructive 5 point plan to do it.

However I do not agree on ditching the shame as such. I still firmly we all need to strive to be better in our own lives, make better choices, as we too as individuals are responsible, not only a broken, sick system and despicable political structures. We can't blame Big Brother for everything. We too must change. As well as keep demanding structural changes of course.



And on that subject - my first post on LinkedIn for 2020 was about this pile of soft toys koalas at IKEA. A company that has and continues to cause a lot of environmental damage all over the world with its production, and a seemingly pretty disgusting marketing ploy. I'd say that no amount of solar panels, recycled furniture or vegan sausages can cover up that fact.



And don't get me started about the fact that our beautiful cherry blossom trees have already begun its blooming season... Three months early...



But the year has not only begun with the continued climate angst and Weltschmerz. The first thing I did to kick it off was to colour it in Pink Pop again. The vegan hair colour rinse from Maria Nila worked its magic again - there's not much left after 5-6 hair washes now, just as expected - and I've decided 2020 will and must be a year with many green insights and a lot of the magic that is pink.



Just before the Christmas holidays I got a free test subscription to a film and TV-series channel blissfully void of ads. The four weeks were subsequently prolonged to eight weeks, so I have enjoyed quite a few good (and bad) movies and streaming of great TV-series. Binge watching has been lovely. And have you ever felt that when you binge watch a great series it feels like losing friends and a context when its over?

Here are my favourites, series and movies, highly recommend them! -

• The First
• The Capture
• Mary kills people
• Five bedrooms
• A million little things
• War of the Worlds
• Wild Bill
• The Rook
• Gold Digger
• Howard's End - I've always loved the original movie from 1992 with Emma Thompson, Helena Bonham-Carter and Anthony Hopkins. But this new TV-series adaption is so very beautiful (the attention to details...) and moving. And those adorable terrier puppies in episode 3, look just like Little Loaf Malte when we brought home at 9 weeks old. 
• The Wife - Gleen Close, amazing,
• Isle of Dogs
• Paddington 2

And just like 2019, I let Isabel Dalhousie, philosopher and Edinburgh sleuth extraordinaire, set the tone for 2020, with this year's first read.

I finished 51 books in 2019, first time I wrote them down and added them to Goodreads. I might never get back to reading as much books as I once did (and audio books are not my cup of literary tea), but I'm happy with almost one book per week (with everything else you have to explore and fit in in your life). Some were spectacular, some lovely little bagatelles, and a few pretty bad. Easy reads but badly written.

I finished the 6 weeks course in "May cause miracles" by Gabby Bernstein, just before New Year's. And while some of the chapters were zero relatable, I just skimmed through them, others were so.very. relatable. It was a good read, I'm still not calm and focused enough for meditation, but it was still a really eye-opening experience in switching one's perspective in thinking and acting.

I think these two first bought books of 2020 also will be two of by greatest reads of the year, one is a Swedish book by climate psychologist focusing on our climate angst, and how to turn what seems like a hopeless grey blanket covering us (this winter it literally has been, the tiredness quite overwhelming) into positive action. Have read 30 pages so far, and it's a yes yes yes, me too-kind of book. I'm so happy to attending a breakfast seminar with them this week, one the Behaviour Impact Gap.

And I think Marie Forleo's "Everything is figureoutable" will be a very good read too. I've always clinged to that notion, especially these past four years of course, looking forward to reading new thoughts and actions on it.

I know I sort of promised to write a recap of last year, but really, let's start with a clean slate, shall we? Like wiping off a really scary, but also nourishing, cleansing and liberating, clay mask from your face. Let's start fresh! (The memories and lessons will always be there, tucked safely away, anyway.)

So, so far this year for me - quite a few interesting and surprising calls, talks, meetings. Some great, some not really what I'm looking for, but still interesting lessons.

I don't think I mention that the friend who volunteered at the great Vegoforum day last year, dragged me with her to the first planning meeting for Vegoforum 2020 in the beginning of December? Wasn't sure it was for me, but somehow I said yes to voluntering, and it has been really interesting and fun so far. This year it will be four theme-days followed by four democracy workshops, the first one in late March.

This Veganuary - I hope you've signed up for it?! - has also been the hat trick for my position on the Top 20 Swedish Lifestyle Blogs to Follow, third year in a row. I may not blog nearly as much as I used to, but still now and then I apparently offer something pretty readable.

Hopefully it won't be 20 days until next post, but for now, I hope your year has begun in a wonderful, hopeful and inspiring way. Continue to act, be and create the change you want to see in the world, in desperate need of that, and remember that...

on the path to purpose and fulfillment

Writing about the things I do, see and live while I'm desperately trying to change direction in life (where some days feel more desperate than others) does honestly come more and more difficult. And by changing direction I obviously mean my quest for a job in line with my passion and skills, you know, the feeling that you've finally found your kind of people, with shared values, in your kind of place.

I've apparently been looking for two years now, tentatively at first, really focused this year. And still I don't seem to be any closer to that clearly illusive thing. I know, I know, what's meant to be will be, and every detour and bumpy road is a step closer to the right place and all that. But I would be lying if I didn't admit to being seriously jaded by the process now. It's exhausting. And infuriating, frustrating et al.

I really wanted to share some great news on the job front in this post. But alas I got a no today, for a job that I would absolutely have loved. Interview went great, felt like a great match. And the feedback was, again, lovely, they'd been smittened by me and had looked into the possibility of hiring two communicators instead of one, but hadn't come up with the funds for it currently. But who knows what might happen, let's keep in contact for the future and so forth. (The one they went for had a solid environmental background, which they deemed more important.)

That's all well and good, and I'm of course grateful and happy for the words, they give warm and fuzzy feelings, but it doesn't get me out of my getting nowhere-state or pay the bills.

So, back to looking for other jobs within sustainability communications. And back to crossing fingers, toes and paws with tiny claws the right place, the right company, the right organisation and my kind of people soon will cross paths with me and there will finally be metaphorical fireworks of happy heureka.

But obviously nothing will happen for about 8 weeks now as Sweden is (in)famous for closing down during the summer months. I'll do my very best trying to enjoy the summer - we've had reasonable temperatures and glorious rains so far, touch wood that'll continue to be the Swedish summer of 2019, please. I do not envy southern Europe, I remember how horrible, awful, devastating last summer was up here in the north - and continue to better myself in various ways.



Including reading books, I might even tick the box of 5 books in June. 3,5 so far. And my big goal is of course 5 books per month June, July and August. It has been quite enjoyable so far, spending time reading more than usual. That amidst everything I've actually rekindled with my reading mojo, go figure.



Since the last post I've also been to my accountant for signing of the annual closing papers - and for the second year in a row she did some kind of magic with it, as far as I'm concerned. And her dog, Maya, is of course über-cute as usual.



I've had good meals, cooked great things, met good people, walked and talked good matters, enjoyed my summer dress, there was Midsummer (which has of course never been anything I celebrate, I only appreciate its long weekend-feature) and I got myself a snazzy little red vegan handbag from Matt & Nat. Yes I'm trying to downsize what I carry in my handbag, wish me luck with that...

Oh, and I had a brief appointment with Dr Feist, a bit of an ear issue that was easily rectified. Hadn't seen her for 6 years, since all the health nastiness of 2012/13. But it was just like we've met last month, it was so nice to see her again and we had a good chat which as usual left me in a really good mood. Imagine that every doctor's appointment made you feel like that, upbeat and positive.



Even if I'm currently feeling rather disappointed about the promising job that wasn't meant to be, and struggle with a lot of frustration, I acknowledge that June has still been a rather lovely, overall month (despite the lack of blue hair). The gorgeous scent of mock orange has been heavy in my garden, Ztina has been doing better and I'm grateful for my always happy summer wardrobe of old and new (which is a superficial thing I know, but nevertheless, clothes in fabulous colours and patterns that look and feel great have always been such a pleasure to me).



In the last shivering days of the month I'm also watching Babylon Berlin, which is a very enjoyable for many reasons. It makes me miss Berlin even more, but I'm also ever so grateful I'm living here and now and not in the 1920ies. And I have a serious crush on "Zu Asche, zu Staub", magic.

This will most likely be the last post for the month of June, so thank you so much, sweet June, for all the valuable lessons you've given, for the sun and the rain, and for the treasured time to read. Another month older, another month wiser.

february so far

Dear Blog, it has been two years since a cold, so I guess I shouldn't complain that one has graced me with its present again. And since I stuffed myself full of ginger, citrus, chili, garlic and various hot drinks since Tuesday (since I had a meeting on Thursday I really really didn't want to miss) I'm through the worst (touch wood) quicker than usual, hooray!



So glad I stumbled over these favourite German ginger herb coughdrops in a health food store last month, I've ate a lot of them this past week, and alongside ginger tea and ginger shots they have worked wonder.



How about the rest of February on these latitudes then? Well, the main thing is probably the crazy, capricious winter weather. Global warming certainly has many unpleasant faces and now we've had the scary ice followed by heaps of snow, and then rain. Which turned public transport, roads and streets into havoc for a few days. Buses getting stuck and sliding (and with buses in Stockholm for some mad mad reason not being equipped with winter tires on all tires, you can imagine the scenes...), cars too. The public preparation for this kind of weather, that will only get worse and the new "normal" is very very poor in Stockholm. It shouldn't be a surprise for anyone, but it obviously is.



This is the first year I've bought and worn spikes on my boots, and I have to say I don't know how I've managed these past 5-6 winters without them. Brilliant on scary scary ice they are. Unfortunately the ice gripper design lacks a bit, thus I've lost them three times in a couple of weeks, but managed to retrace my steps and found them. Which obviously won't be the case every time it happens, and they're to expensive to keep buying again and again. So I got a pair of better designed heel grippers too. Which are also much easier to remove when your indoors or on snow-free streets.



But most important of all, I did succumbed and got a pair of Swedish Icebug boots (which obviously are designed for Scandinavian weather, that's more than you can say for most shoes and boots designed and made in quite different weather alas...). It's such a pity and nuiscance they *had to* add that suede part on the boots, it serves absolutely no purpose as the boots are perfectly weather proofed without it. And most of their shoes and boots are accidently vegan anyway.

But this was the only model that fitted my needs, and I chose safety over my non-leather values. So many recommendations from friends, and also my physical therapist. Have only worn them a couple of times so far, but they are very comfortable, warm and feels very sturdy on these treacherous streets.

Given the persistent raining these past days though, which has washed away a substantial part of both snow and ice, I'm not sure when I'll desperately need the Icebugs next. Ah well, they're here and at my beckoning when needed.



It was *a bit* of a mess with the delivery company Budbee - which I'd only had great things to say about before - which delivered them though. I followed the delivery in real time and when I saw they had stopped at the parking lot I went out to get the package. But before the driver turned up I got a notification that my package had been delivered. And the only reaction was obviously WTF?! No phone number, but their chat was opened and I was so angry, where were my rather expensive, pre-paid and necessary boots?

Ten minutes later there was a knock at the door and two women living two streets down also at a number 3 turned up with my package. Which I'm ever so grateful for. Because they could have just as easily been lost or the wrong recipient not been home. (Also I specifically told Budbee not to leave the package outside the door...). It's pretty basic knowledge for a delivery driver to know the maps and be certain s/he delivers to the right address imho.

I'm expecting another package from them next week. I do hope they will do better. *Insert rolling eyes* (Which is probably my most used emoji alas.)



On the subject of annoying things, my new iPhone, which I only got in September/October -

and what a mess that was before we managed to sort out the previous subscription, get the right phone for the right price, iCloud, installing... And it was the week after I broke my arm too. Exhausting it was. And infuriating, I don't think I've written about this before but at a couple of pints I was so angry and the stupidity of it all and my own shortcomings (I'm glad I'm stubborn) that I just screamed and hit things when I put down the phone after talking with the customer "service" -

is acting up. Both the keypad and the camera and other things here and there. It obviously needs fixing, but seriously, most of us have a good portion of our lives in our smartphones and we also need them for our works. How will that work? Of course, I did survive the stolen iphone in 2013... An unwanted digital detox one might say. But one does expect a rather expensive thing to work flawlessly more than 4 months though.



On the subject of work, I did have a pretty great job interview last week. For what seems like a great company with focus on sustainability. Fingers crossed I'll be one of the four that get called to a second interview next week. I felt we were a great match, hope the recruiter felt that too. Though obviously you never know who you are up against of course. What is meant to be will be, as always.



Post-interview I. With the obligatory ginger herb cough drop. Accidently all kitted in Marimekko. Or perhaps, dressed for happiness success.

I was also emailed by another great company, within the health and sustainability sector, about a copy project gig. After I had posted about one of their products on Instagram they'd apparently kindly stalked me online and contacted me. That made me very happy. I hope we can agree on the details, it would be such an interesting, fun and special gig.



On the topic of health, I've enjoyed eating overnight oats and chia puddings in cafes, but it's not until 2019 I've begun making my own versions. They've all been lovely. And I'll share some suggestions for ingredients in a post of its own to come. And yes, crunchy peanutbutter is a delightful part of it, not to be missed.



On food. I've come to realize how convenient and stress-free it is to order online and get home delivery. You can get most of the heavy stuff that's a nuisance to drag along on the bus or schedule a carpooling for, delivered to the door. Which is a relief concidering my arm in rehab as well as the treacherous roads now.

One of the things I've finally had the time to eat via this delivery is the Swedish frozen vegan pizzas from Oumph. Which turned out to be just lovely, the dough is fantastic and the flavour/texture is great. teamed up with a nice salad it's such a treat for dinner.

For you living in the UK, if you haven't tried the plantbased Oumph products yet, you really should asap. You won't be disappointed.



About the UK. Remember my fabulous budgie skirt? And the grand sausage dog cardigan? I now have a fantastic sheep dress from Palava too. Organic cotton in a snazzy 1950ies model, quite unlike anything else that I have and I was a bit catious in ordering something as fitted as that (never mind measuring carefully and talking with the customer services about the sizes). But it was such a great fit when it arrived!

Haven't taken a photo of it yet, the snow rained away before I had a chance to make a dreamy capture of it, but trust me, cuteness galore. And so perfect with my favourite old applegreen shoes. When spring comes. (Seems awfully far away currently, but I fear it will be as short as last year and another devastatingly hot summer will follow...)

So instead of sheep dress, the above picture is of a sweet handmade necklace from Palava too, which I got on sale. Squirrels and acorn - which is one of my favourite things also in bobbaloo shape - how adorable is that? (Photo taken by a friend.)



Something else I got for spring, hair colours. Or specifically vegan colour refreshers from Swedish brand Maria Nila - which has fantastic haircare products I highly recommend, all vegan - hair masques which colour that lasts 4-10 washes. I've been wanting to colour my hair pink or green for years, but I've never felt like bleaching my hair to get that perfectly pink effect. As I've struggle enough to accept the natural greys...

But now I thought maybe those greys can work to my colour advantage. And the worst thing that can happen is that there'll be no real colour visibility but I've only had a good nourishing hair masque. When the woolly hats and caps come off I'll have a go at these bottles.



Currently though, life is as much as possible snuggles with these inspirational beings, whose new favourite sleeping arrangements - despite their new luxurious bed - is various versions of this. One corner of the sofa is reluctantly left for me. And many cups of tea and other warm beverages - hello  golden mylk, beetroot latte and vegan hot cocoa with whipped cream and plantbased marshmallows... - while watching TV or reading books.



My favourite TV crush right now is the addictive Australian drama "A place to call home". Strong characters, great actors (and stylish costumes). I discovered it by chance on SVT Play before Christmas and was hooked after a couple of episodes. Now watching season four - previous seasons still available on Play in Sweden - I'll be sad when the final season six will have be shown. It gets all thumbs and paws up for well worth watching.



Oh, February, you've been such an interesting mix of highs and lows and learning experiences so far, let's keep up the good work and make it an epically fabulastic month, okey?

another year older, another year wiser - the 2018 edition

so, what did happen during my last week as a xx year old, followed by my first week as a xx year old, a year wiser?

:: i decided that when the purrfect dress wasn't meant to be, surely a sausage dog cardigan in organic cotton would be the perfect birthday gift to self instead? from palava (same source as the delightful budgie skirt). i spent a lot of time figuring out the best size (ordering online when you don't know a brand well is tricky, no matter careful measuring). talking to the customer service too.

decided to go up an extra 1-2 sizes, wanted it roomy. it arrived gorgeous but also way too big. so had to be returned (add hefty trackable postage) for another one smaller. opted for one size smaller, so i hope it'll be roomy, but not that oversized.

and as the swedish postal "service" is notoriously crappy it was quite the kerfuffle at the post office since it turned out they didn't have the means to print the waybill *insert rolling eyes* so i had to pop over to the library to pay for a print of it.

i can see it landed in england yesterday, so hopefully i'll get my new cardi later this week. fingers crossed it'll be a purrfect fit.

even if some think it's pure treason to dress in dog prints obviously.





:: watched the powerful documentary "the devil we know" the other week (still available on svt play in sweden) about teflon and C8. and how it has been poisoning the world since the 1940ies, and continue doing so because of greed alone. the company DuPont and its spin-off company Chemours certainly are the epitome of dirty, evil, greedy and powerful big business. i knew teflon was unhealthy, but had no idea about the extent of it, how basically noone can escape its consequenses.

just another proof that humans don't deserve this earth.

first thing i did next day was to buy a stainless steel frying pan (pots i already have). trying to figure out where i can get rid of the teflon pans in a sustainable way.

didn't feel very sensual (despite its name) buying the pan at ikea. but it has been great (and comes with a 25 year guarantee). noticed that at least 95% of the pots and pans at ikea are teflon coated though. and much cheaper that the few stainless steel ones.

so much cheap stuff that have been poisiing and littering our planet for decades. heartbreaking and infuriating.



:: "så mycket bättre" (so much better) is a swedish reality show with that has been aired for 9 years now. the premise is that 7 swedish artists meet up on gotland where they each have one day where the other artists interpret one song each from the hosting artist's repertoire.

admittedly i've never watched the series until now, not very interested in watching "the club of mutual admiration society"ish reality shows. plus none of the previous artists have been favourites of mine. but this year eric gadd participates. and i used to love his music, especially in the 80ies and 90ies.



and i adore linnea henriksson's version of his song, "the right way".

here's gadd's original version.



and albin lee meldau's version. his vibrato voice is so cool. a touch of antony and the johnsons.



:: on the bday, which was a wonderful, sunny and crisp october day, we visited millesgården, art museum and sculpture park (one of the true gems of stockholm you shouldn't miss), for the william morris exhibition. i didn't know that he besides being an amazingly talented artist, architect and designer also was a radical political activist. an overall very impressive, inspiring human being.







:: the museum visit was followed with a lovely vegan lunch at the new place VeganHouse. tasty butter bean and black rice burgers with fries and delicious chipotle mayo.



i did of course have the obligatory piece of plantbased cream cake later that week. (from bagar'n hornstull, my old childhoods.)



:: in my first week as a xx year old i visited my accountant for the second annual meeting. after a worrisome year - mainly thanks to the dodgy client and unreliable team mates, and myself for being to trusting of people that clearly had other motifs - i knew i'd already manage to save my business, with a last minute solution which i'm ever so very grateful for, but it was still a rather uncomfortable visit. but being greeted with a long bark of excitement, followed by a good lick and cuddle by the cuteheart office dog maya was the best kind of start.





turned out to be a lovely day. minus the 3 x 2 hours of public transportation to norrtälje. plus me forgetting to bring bread for the ducks and getting a good disgruntled quack by the city ducks of norrtälje.



:: then on world vegan day the arm was finally relieved of the plaster. rejoice!



i had expected the left arm to be thin and weak. instead it turned out to be thicker and the hand swollen, and weak. an ugly sight. and there'll be a lot of work with physiotherapy at home. the muscles are shorter, the broken, cured bones rigid and un-cooperative. i'm basically still the one-armed cat vomit slip woman. but i'm working on it. and it's such a relief to take a decent shower and not having to worry about getting the plaster wet.



:: world vegan day, a reminder that as long as we continue to eat the flesh of innocent beings the world will continue to be a violent place. meat eating is of course not only violent and unhealthy, but also one of the largest contributors to climate change. and yet it continues to be the elephant in the room that politicians and individuals alike refuse to seriously address.

make the connection, please.



:: the arm in freedom needs a lot of TLC, apart from physio, so i got it some handscrub and handcream at lush. and look, the amazing snow fairy scent is now available in body spray too. swoon.



:: and for world vegan day there was also a special price on fabulous, swedish, vegan haircare brand maria nila and as i've almost worked my way through all my old haircare products it was a perfect time to get some.

with the buying came the option of getting it delivered, included in price, instead of having to pick it up at the post office. and with the one hand issue i thought that would be good. turned out to be not merely a good, but a great solution. the company budbee home delivers between 5pm and 10pm, with an estimaated delivery time. after 5pm you get updates in real time and you can follow the driver's progress on a map on the phone. with moments of "oh no, you should have turned left there!".

how many of us haven't wasted days waiting for deliveries from the old, giant delivery companies that obviously don't really care about customer service "we'll be there sometime between 8 am and 5 pm"?



if budbee follows labour laws and has decent salaries - of which don't know, but start-ups can be notorious for not heeding to that... - i think they have a great and highly service-minded idea.

and as sharing is caring someone loved the box the products came in too.



dear november, if you could please continue to be just as great as you've started, i would be ever so grateful and happy.