the fortnight diary of a tea-a-holic, part II

Better late than never, here's second post of (technically obviously not) the forthnight diary-thing. But who cares. Late November- December snippets it is.

First of all, a plethora of fabulous (and not so fabulous) teas from a certifiable tea addict deserve a proper post, not just a few snaps and a brief mention, right? So despite the slightly misleading title and good intentions, I'll not write about tea now.



:: Been to the movies twice, one time definitely more enjoyable than the other. Which wasn't the movie's fault but the five teenage girls who kept disturbing the movie - Fantastic beasts, the crimes of Grindelwald - by talking, fiddling with their phones, running in and out from the cinema room during the film, and then leaving a mess on the floor with popcorn and trash. Why on earth pay 145SEK to "watch" a movie when you do anyhing but watch? Plus disturbing everyone else who actually do want to watch. Parents, teach your kids manners, please!

The tricky thing is, if it's not a full theatre with lots of people sitting nearby to react, you have to either tell the disturbers to keep shut, which they most likely won't. Then you have to go out and tell the staff to intervene. Whatever way you react/act or don't, you will have missed a lot of a movie you've paid a hefty ticket price for. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The other movie was "Mamma Mia, here we go again" which was very enjoyable . Not as great as its prequel, but still. It's fantastic that ABBA's music is still so catchy, clever and moving, it gets me every time. That blend of I want to dance - I want to sing - and then I cry a bit because I'm so impressed by what Björn Ulveaus and Benny Andersson have created, still create. And proud they're Swedes that have touched the whole world with their memorable music.



:: Sweden is full of ugly people these days, if you know the saying "Fur is worn by beautiful animals and ugly people". Because every winter is getting worse, when it comes to these nasty hats with fur pompoms and coats with fur-trims walking the streets. Mainly worn by women. Plus they dress their babies and toddlers in fur trimmed clothes too. So many animals who suffers and die for this vanity. It's shameful, infuriating and heartbreaking. In 2018, when we really should be more enlightened as a specie in general. Instead the winter streets are overflowing with the ugliest of people.

Causes for Weltschmerz everywhere.



:: I've had my first appointment with the physiotherapist. It was good to get some feedback. Which was of the both positive and negative kind. In parts the hand/arm is well on recovery, in others it seems to be a long way to go yet. But I got some more rehab instructions, including squeezing rubber balls - which is why I have a heart in my hand often these days.

Have another appointment in a month and hopefully the mobility and strength will have improved some more by then.



:: The tangible Christmas gift to myself this year was this marvelous Little My sweater, which was worn by the proprietor in one of my favourite shops in town, and I treated myself to an early gift with my alter ego. Supercosy, organic cotton turtleneck in a versatile A-line shape. A happy sweater.

What's you Christmas gift to yourself this year?



:: Now left on my wishlist for Christmas and 2019 - if you don't count the environmental conscious, animal friendly, gender equal, kind, vegan world that we all need - is a job that speaks to my heart, with my kind of people and a decent, regular paycheck.

:: Which clearly would not come from the completely bizarre interview I was at last week. At a world leading niched Swedish company, I'd never heard of beforehand. I just stumbled over the ad on LinkedIn and thought it sounded fun, the role was as global social media manager, within a field that interests me.

The warning bells started to chime when I got a mass-email to an interview with lots of suggestions of times. Add they wanted copies of a) my university degrees and... *drumroll* my high school degrees... Which could have been relevant many decades ago, now it's just... crazy.

However this level of weirdness peaked my curiosity for an interview, so I went.

I really shouldn't have bothered. Because it was one of the most unprofessional interviews I've ever been to - similar of sorts to the 2016 debacle, a case of clearly living in parallell worlds. I wasn't offered a glass of water, tea or coffee, simply ushered into a room where the guy - in my mother's age, who said he had worked all his life in big business and now offered his services where needed. He had never worked with HR. - showed images and talked about how amazing the company was, world leading, outstanding luxuary products, how much revenue and growth they had, how they only hired THE best (even if it took years to find them) yada yada. Not a single word about work environment, well-being and staff turnover.

Then it was time for tests, as usual completely daft personality tests, which have no real scientifical proof of relevance and is simply a lazy way of recruiting. I refuse to let anyone judge and value my competence from such tests, so I don't know why I ended up doing them. And clearly he hadn't read neither CV, application nor those *very important* copies of degrees.

When it was finally time for me to ask all my questions about the company and what they could offer, well then he just thanked me for the meeting and said bye. Seriously. At least I quickly asked how they work with CSR and sustainability - "I don't know, that's not something we've talked about during my 10 years here." I. was. gobsmacked.

That a company in Sweden 2018, which prides itself in being world-leading at that, doesn't take CSR seriously, that's just ungraspable. And totally off-putting.

So the next day I emailed them telling we weren't a good match since they clearly don't see the importance of social and environmental responsability. And a couple of useful links to start working on that. Not that they will, since obviously it's a company solely interest in monetary growth. It has been a privately owned company since start (in 1968) but they plan for introduction on the stock exchange next year. I don't think their lack of CSR work will be a positive aspect for that. Hope not.

I'm pretty sure they wouldn't find me to be a THE best persons-person anyway, but it felt good, really good to say a firm no before that happened. Staying true to myself and my path in life.

The quest continues, for my tribe.



:: A few weeks ago a little surprise box arrived. And in the box was this wee one. A very special pretty little bobbaloo brooch that brightened the day. Welcomed to the Scandinavian Bobbaloo Settlement by Gingerbob, because it's that time of the year. Thank you again for the kindness, D, I'm so touched.



:: If you're looking for some special (vegan and palmoil-free) chocolate pralines for yourself or as a gift I can recommend these from vegandelights.se that I got at the Christmas fair. These are pumpkin spice, delicious, but they have other flavours too.



At the fair they also co-operated with the animal rights organisation Earth for Everyone, which mainly work with rescuing stray dogs in Iran and trying to improve the complete lack of animal welfare laws there. So by chosing this chocolate you also support a much needed animal welfare work.



Now, Happy Advent Third, I hope you've had, are having, will have lots of cosy moments, hygge, candles and tea, and if possible cat snuggles galore.

fresh new potato salad

Made this potato salad for Midsummer - recipe from Årstiderna vegan food box - and not being a fan of neither vinegar nor mustard I was a bit sceptical. But again, the flavour was amazing. And it's really a great eat in season summer dish.

new potato salad
4-6 servings

1 kg new potato
1 spring onion
3-4 tbsp vinegar (I used apple cider vinegar, I'm sure any will do)
0,5 dl rapeseed oil
1 tsp strong mustard
salt, black pepper

Boil the cleaned potato for about 10 minutes, until done. Let it cool in its water.

Chop the spring onion finely (both onion and haulms).

Whip together a dressing with vinegar, oil, mustard, salt and pepper.

Chop the cooled potatoes into 2-4 pieces, add the chopped spring onion and blend it with the dressing.

Enjoy!



It went really well with seitan sausages and a salad of white cabbage, green beans and cherry tomatoes. 

hello december

Kränku tea advent calendar of 2017 - whatever did you do all through December before you found this brilliance?

Feels like pretty much every month this year calls for a "gosh, really gosh, where did the month go??". December first is no exception. I mean, only a few shivering weeks left of this year, how did that happened? How is it even physically possible?

After 2016 being one of my life's worst years, 2017 turned out to have been one of my best. Not without struggles, roadbumps and backlashes, since life isn't meant to be that way. But all and all, a year full of amazing insights and personal growth, great jobs, fantastic people - my tribe! - conversations, laughters. If last year was more about tears than laughter, taking a day at a time, surviving, this year has been more about laughter than tears. Momentum and moving forward. Pieces of the puzzle falling in to place in seemingly serendipitous ways. The best kind of way.

And there's still one lovely month left, if you can see past the glaring consumerism, people's silly self-imposed stress, gluttony and food waste of December, it's a pretty cosy month. When you can light lots of candles, listen to Christmassy music, drink copious amounts of tea and the odd glühwein, eat vegan lussebullar - just realised I haven't posted the vegan recipe of them yet, but it's very similar to this old one, just omit the quark, dairy and egg and use oat milk instead - and just be.

Admittedly the lack of daylight and sun these past few weeks - with global warming there's less snow and with that darker days - with it getting dark at 1 pm already (I kid you not) have turned me into a semi-zombie state. And it's pretty awful. There's only as much as vitamin D supplements and an overall healthy lifestyle can do to beat that. I basically fall asleep in the sofa in front of the TV every evening, completely tied down by a gazillion cats who think I'm the best human heater in the whole wide world. And I'm so darn cold all the time, because even if it's not very low winter temperatures these days (around +/-0 C) there's some crazy clammy nastiness indoors that not even the heat pump can completely beat. I bundle up like the Michelin man and try keeping busy. Dancing helps too.

On the topic of music I've been listening a lot to Cock Robin lately. Had forgot how much I adored them in my late teens. Looking at the videos is quite embarrassing, incomprehensible and daft like videos from the 80-90ies were. Were they even cool back then? And then there's the fashion, the hair styles. Oh dear. But the tunes have aged well I think. The singer's voice is still amazing, the sense of melancholy and sense of urgency is irresistable (even if he looks like he's going to wet his pants any minute. Watch this video for proof of that.) But as a thumb rule, you should never ever watch videos from the 80ies because they always completely destroy the magic of the music.

As it is December I thought I'd make a little summary of how many of the personal and professional goals I did reach this year. On the personal, merely two, but at least the best two. The skin condition and the new recipe every week. The skin condition, which is not back to normal but still so much better. Stress and worry are most probably a big reason behind it all, and with working a lot with that this year it has at least improved conciderably. Also I believe all that sun bathing past summer played a part of improvement. Plus possibly the recent addition of the Dermalogica Ultracalming serum to my skin regime.

And the try new recipes, well I have the vegan food ambassador gig to thank for that of course. Who knew such a thing would appear late in the year and help me with a personal goal? And the three personal goals I haven't ticked, they have been replaced with other things instead. The grief recovery process trumps everything, it has been worth its weight in many chests of gold.

As far as professional goals are concerned I'm happy to report that I've ticked them all. I may not "commute to work every day", but some days I "commute" so much more instead.

Looking forward to setting meaningful goals for next year. It will be fun. Especially when you see great results from previous year.

Last but not least, when someone you haven't known for a long time seems to know you a little bit better than you know yourself. And by that also pushes you outside your comfort zone. How do you react? Of course there isn't one easy for all answer to that. As it falls in the category of pink vegan meringues - which I've come to think of as an analogy for how much humans complicate things - my reaction now is a whirlwind of emotions, bewilderment being one of them. I don't know how it even is possible, as I don't concider myself an open book. Surely not, not even if you read this blog. Nah, obviously I'm an enigma wrapped in a mystery caught in a riddle.

Yet the fact that someone has managed to decipher me, challenge me, unlock things that have apparently been dormant, it does make perfect sense. It has after all been a year of constant revelations. And as one of my best decisions of 2017 has been to trust the process, I'm doing that in this case too. It's not easy to stop being my impatient self, but it is quite liberating. And as I did make a promise to myself last year, one that I'm not about to break, something I have only told one person, it's easier to be patient, intuitive, curious and a dash pious.

It is after all my Latin derived name. Not a name in accord with my personality, but that makes it just a little more... entertaining and easier to emotionally deal with meringue-wise. Which is more... interesting than being boring. Since it's equally important to be both serious and fun, to grow, but I refuse to be boring. Both on the personal and professional arena.

Welcome, dear December, please be as awesome and amazing as you possibly can be.

organic vegan food inspiration

This will merely be an inspiring cavalcade of the organic, vegan food I've been cooking lately as a food ambassador for the Årstiderna vegan food box on Instagram (@veganskamatkassen). The recipes can be found on their website and in the appstore app (in Swedish). But if you find some dish/es especially interesting I'll happy to translate the recipe/s in a separate post. Just leave a comment about your favourite looking recipe.



This has so far been my absolute favourite dish. A very unassuming looking beetroot quinoa (served with salad, cabbage and carrots in a wrap), that's absolutely jampacked with texture and flavour (who new quinoa, raw beetroot, apple, raisins and a simple dressing of lemon juice, garlic, oil, salt and pepper could create such magic?).





Spicy bean tacos with avocado and grapefruit salsa.





Okonomiyaki with a spicy rice salad - such a nice new food experience!





Bangkok soup with rice and coriander - not a favourite flavour/texture experience. Love coriander, but the rest was just very basic.





Potato and leek soup with fried leek and pumpkin seed topping - the soup was really good (if not exciting) but that topping was fantastic!



Tartlets with creamy stew of asparagus, broccoli, carrot, leek and mung beans - just as tasty as beautiful. Just look at that gorgeous salad... Nature is amazing.





Saag aloo with chickpeas and spicy cucumber salad - let's talk about that pickled cucumber salad. I was very sceptical. Apart from pickled red onion I'm no fan of pickled veggies. Or so I thought. This was delicious and such a nice contrast to the spicy, hot saag aloo.



Spicy noodle wok.



Hokkaido pumpkin soup with turmeric and roasted corn and pumpkin seeds - absolutely delicious! That roasted fresh corn and pumpkin seed topping, fantastic.



Cabbage wraps with quinoa and pumpkin and pea hummus with turmeric - that hummus... oh my, tastiness! (Snoopervisors agree.)





Chickpea pancake with leek, squash and cherry tomatoes - I find chickpea flour to be rather dry and so was this pancake, but I'm basically just happy that I managed to fry and turn it reasonably unharmed.



Bibimbap with pak choy, mushroom, leek and carrots - very good. And that pak choy before cooking, gorgeous.





Seitan sausage in a bun with pickled red onion and Asian cabbage salad - I was surprised at finding a semi-finished product in the box (but granted I wasn't excited by the idea of making my own seitan sausage). Not very exciting as a meal. But I enjoyed the pickled red onions.



Wraps with quinoa, red cabbage, carrots, cucumber and peanut sauce.



Korma curry with chickpeas, sweet potato, cauliflower and tomatoes.



Latkes pancakes with hummus and tomato-onion salad - really good flavour combo.



The recipes are for two persons but in general I have no idea how hungry you have to be to finish all that food, so I can usually freeze the leftover food or enjoy it several days in a row. Very practical. I'm just so happy I got this chance - Instagram hashtaggery has certainly been very very good to me over these past few years.

I never enter any competition where it's just pure luck or a lottery (I'm never lucky in lottery anyway). To win by competence or talent is just so much more rewarding as far as I'm concerned. And even if this very honourable food ambassador assignment was something you applied for I consider it an Instagram victory - like the glasses, the dress, the Schwarzwald trip, the muesli, the wee sonny angel. Big, small and everything in between. The combination of image and words, my special winning combo apparently. And how lucky I am to be able to work with what I love. And eat and live the way I want, in a way that's beneficial for both myself and the planet. Lucky lucky lucky me.

NB the empty Årstiderna wooden crates are awesome for little excited snoopervisors too. Such a win win win situation.

the shining light

I'm afraid I've turned into one of those awful persons that is some kind of positivity beacon, in a sometimes very bleak world. But to be honest it can't be helped, because life right now feels pretty amazing. And as the recent quote "Take responsability for the energy you put out into the world", really stroke a cord in me I'm taking that quite literally.

And while I'm far from a Facebook fan (to but it very mildly, I'd rather use a four letter word here, but let's keep a civil tone) and basically use it for sharing articles about environmental issues, animal rights, feminism and equality plus cute animal videos and never anything really personal. Sharing personal stuff I mostly do face to face, texts or in emails. But guess what, as this past week has been even more of an emotional whirlwind than the one before that, not all without hurdles and stress but overall so awesome, I've posted several updates of unexpected things, conversation and random meetings that has touched me and made me go all warm and fuzzy.

Here goes - I apologize in advance because this might be quite sickly sweet to read, but I'm just amazed, happy and ever so grateful to experience this. Pure magic as far as I'm concerned. And if you who've said and done this happen to read this, thanks again. Gold. -

I've never had a great need of confirmation, a simple thank you as a sign of appreciation will usually do. Even if it's nice to get a little praise now and then. But to actually work with people that not only says thanks regularly but also, you're brilliant, such a star, magic lady, you're fantastic, you're in charge and so forth that's certainly different. And pretty darn lovely. It does make you work even harder to outperform yourself. Or just being yourself with extra oomf.

And it also is an eye opener, because I've come to realise that I've actually been professionally under stimulated for a very long time, with bursts of joy for various projects, but nothing like this. And that I've in parts settled to be happy enough and grateful for those bursts. While I in fact want it all, but haven't been able to find the right context, the right people.

But, lo and behold, I do believe I have now. And not that I want to overuse the word gratitude, but, well... It's nothing short than miraculous that we've clicked so incredibly well in such a short (and incredibly intense) time, compliment eachother so well. Working hard towards a common goal, a colourful (literally) environmental case of David vs Goliath. The raw energy in this teamwork is simply gold worth.

I'm thinking a lot about if you say or write things for the world to see and hear, what you want, and need, they will come (and it doesn't have to be a baseball court). Law of attraction. Things happen when they are meant to. Meetings too. Synchronicity is real. (But I still prefer the synonym serendipity.) And as I think I've touched upon before, most of us live too busy and stressed lives and aren't open enough to actually see how real this is.

And it's only through really devastating things we begin to see things and life for what it really is, can be, should be. And that's magic. We create our own magic, if we are open enough.

This by no means mean that life not will continue to be rough, full of bumps and heartaches, from here on now and then. That's just life. But if we know that magic, the truly good stuff and people, exist too, it's easier to cope and get through. When the going gets tough, the strong get growing.

Back to my amazing week, as I wrote in the last post I wasn't sure if a content project I accepted would be worth it financially vs time put in. I'm still not. But I'm surprised at how great it was to work with a finicky editor. My main flaw in the feedback was that I'm writing in too dry a style, not enough warmth and humour - clearly we're not talking about my blog here. 

But yes, I know, one of the articles was on such a dry and un-engaging topic, that little lawyer I jumped in and wrote for dear life. But overall, great and not least useful feedback. And as he said, things can be worse than writing in too dry a style, too many writers write in a sloppy, trivial way and obviously can't spell. And that's clearly so much worse than being a dry lawyer at heart.

Next up on the list of heartwarming, little things that happened during the week that was;

I was waiting for the train at the station when a stranger walked up to me (an older gentleman) and said "I just want to say that not many people measure up to you." It was so incredibly touching. I guess it was because of my always colourful outfit. But whatever reason, such a darling thing to do! Shared on Facebook, and I have to say, the concurring compliments keep coming. People  can be so sweet. Love and kindness is in the air.

Dare to compliment. It doesn't cost a thing, but a bit of courage. And it can make someone's day.

And then by the end of the week it was time for the first big meeting with client in the above mentioned passion  project. I was both looking forward to and dreading it a bit, because of hurdles regarding trust. I expected some tough talks on said issue, things that needed to change and future strategy. 

But you know what, it was a brilliant day. Powerful, inspiring, productive and fun. With some people I hadn't met before - remote work only - yet it felt like the most natural thing to finally meet. And I was told by the client that I go by the nick name 'Magic Pia' - I mean, seriously, how lovely is that?! And who knew that something I was part of 13 years ago, another tough time in my life, would cross roads with this work today...

It's a great artisan eco-paint company, truly amazing, high quality product and why story. They deserve every success and the world desperately need their products. I'm just blessed to be working with them, and not least our fantastic little marketing team of three. Fun bit is that the CEO was so inspired by the bobbaloos and Sonny Angels that most always appear when food appears before me, that he wanted them in their product pictures too. Clearly he's a man of impeccable taste. So perhaps that will be a new trend from here on.

Then on Friday evening I got a text from the sales director - who's a really fabulous woman with some unexpected features I learnt about when we drove to lunch, features that made us click even more - saying "I'm completely in love with all your pictures on Instagram! Oh you are so great, have an awesome weekend! Hugs" - you can see how it's not a mystery that I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy after this week, right? That special feeling is all around. And I'm simply incredibly grateful (sorry) happy about it all. 

I think the grief recovery process started a really serious shift in thinking for me. Opened up channels I was only vaguely aware of before that. I will not say the G-word again, but really...

Dearest October, do continue to be this amazing,
I love you something extra special for it this year.

happy 12th blogoversary

The Blog, this blog, turns 12 today. 

After a both emotionally and physically exhausting week, mostly in a good way but not only, I alas don't feel very witty or capable of writing something profound about the blog journey of 12 years.

But I will say as much as it has been a true haven during both ups and downs in my life. Not least in my most challenging, heartbreaking as well developing, insightful and healing last one and a half year of growth.

When I look back on my post from the first few years I admittedly sometimes shudder of embarrassment, the way I wrote then and in parts how I looked at the world, the topics I chose, it was a very different me. That said I let them be were they are, available to be read, a testament of 12 years of development and finding my voice, both as a human being and in writing style. 

My blogoversary was spent with a lovely LinkedIn-lunch, a possible new client getting in touch, an unexpected meet cute of the doggie kind and not least a cup of tea and a perfect cinnamon bun contemplating 12 years of blogging. Who knew this would be where I'd find myself after a decade plus?

And of course, thank you, dear readers, who keep coming back for more, and sometimes leave those kind and heartfelt comments. I treasure them all.

Happy 12th Blogoversary to me, may it feel meaningful for many more years to come!

one year later

Today marks the one year day since M unexpectedly passed away.

A year that in a strange way has been the shortest as well as the longest in my life so far. A year not only filled with deep sorrow but also resilience and an incredible amount of growth. Acceptance, gratitude and glimpses of happiness.

After the devastating fact so much and yet so little has happened since. Be as that may, I'm so darn proud of myself. Wherever I am today it's okay, we all manage sorrow and life differently and looking back I've achieved lots even if it doesn't feel like it some days. I'm not quite there yet, financial stability and serenity is not, as far as I know, within my reach just yet.

However these past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, filled with very personal meetings as well as professional. I'm still quite dumbstruck as to what I've achieved and experienced in March alone. This March.

One of my features is pride, accepting defeat and asking for help does not come easy. I want to cope with things, solve my problems on my own. With the end of my company's financial year coming up very soon I realised things did not look well. Thought a lot about different plausible solutions. One of them being to contact M's parents asking for help. Given everything that happened between us during this year I'm sure you can understand how utterly deeply uncomfortable that was, I thought I'd close the door to that part of my life since writing that letter in September.

But realising I needed to solve a pressing issue and coming to terms with the fact that noone will thank me for my pride in this case and the only one with something to lose would be me. Also - what would the future me thank respectively reproach me for? So I bit the bullet. The very uncomfortable bullet. And to my surprise it turned out to be an easier bullet to swallow than I would have ever thought.

Without going into any details - but actually those details would be fit for a long blogpost about human behaviour, the far from uncommon notion 'if we don't talk about it it hasn't really happened' and communication gone awry - I got the help I very much needed. Without any discussions. A rather substantial weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Not every weight is gone, but still a big one. 

And even though I obviously remember how rubbish their behaviour over the year have made me feel, I understand now that a large part of that has been due to a strange lack of clear communication. And I do believe I've come to the forgive stage, even if it can't be forgotten or changed, forgiving is moving on. 

The next step, a new year. One year later.

goodbye november 2016

As a stark contrast to wonderful October my November has been an uninspiring blah month. The stressful mess of substitute buses, the crazy snowfall, chaos in traffic, icy streets that were so limiting (because even if one works from home it's obviously a must to get out for walks and a bit of socializing regularly. 

But the tension with trying to navigate forward on icy streets, well that's not an option if it can be avoided), the fact that Yelp suddenly shut down its operations all over Europe (so no more Yelp Stockholm events only the options to continue writing reviews and upload photos), the mad outcome of the US election, more sad news regarding climate change and the point of no return. Brooding and mourning. It has certainly been a month for an abundance of that. Reading, watching movies, cuddling cats, drinking a gazillion cups of tea has been my blues remedy, but no inspiration for blogging. Obviously. (And the Schwarzwald thoughts post will be left for another month.)

Though putting together the #november2016 for Instagram I realise it has also held some really great days and stuff. Only overshadowed by all the blah.

So - I will never again complain about reasonably rainy days, because they wash away any icy streets and aren't difficult to navigate only liberating.

The #VeganVikings week with Yelp Stockholm, Oslo and Copenhagen (at least it ended with a bang) - it was lovely. Even if I couldn't take part as much as I would have liked due to those darn substitute buses. But a vegan dinner, a lunch, a breakfast and a wonderful rawfood fika, that was sweet too.

During that week, on its worst possible day - because my bus/train was 1,5 hours delayed and her train 3 hours delayed... - I rekindled with a friend I hadn't seen for 7 (!) years. It was via her and her then boyfriend (who was a childhood friend of M) I met M all those years ago. She and I studied law together back then. It was lovely to meet up again, hopefully our contact will be much regular than once every 7 year from now on... 

- On a side note I learnt that her then boyfriend and M's childhood friend also suddenly passed away in November. Even if we hadn't had any contact for many years and he didn't come to M's funeral it was sad to hear of another too early passing. And how odd that both M and he doing it so unexpectedly and only a few months apart. This year has held so much deaths of good people. And with every passing I hear of my own sorrow surface again. - 

On an especially blah day, when even more snow fell, I decided to make a snow angel in the garden. (Things that is possible to do when you don't have a dog that has hid pooptastic secrets under the snow.) And despite my hair looking scary gray (no of course it must be snow, of course) it was so much fun. Making snow angels it's impossible to be sad.

Then on the last Sunday of the month, first of Advent, the snow unfortunately began to fall again - hello nasty, icy streets - I went to a group seance with my mum. Simply because I'm open and curious. There are so much in this world we don't know about, things we can't explain. I'm all for having a healthy sceptical attitude, there are many charlatans out there, but I also believe it's important to have an open mind. 

You are completely anonymous and whatever message you get there is no possibility whatsoever the medium could have researched you beforehand. I'm deeply grateful I went. I got a personal message, even if it wasn't a greeting from a special person but more general it was so very accurate with details I've never told anyone. I should have taken notes perhaps, but I remember the most important things. And the one thing that made me tear up once I was out on the snowy streets of Stockholm again was the detail that there's a little bright, happy dog that accompanies me. That's such an endearing, comforting notion. Little Loaf with his liquorice nose.

It was an emotional Sunday, but a very good one and it gave me more reason to really trust that everything will be alright, it really will. I will continue to work on my focus, my goals, but it is also high time for this worrying kind to enjoy herself more.

The last Sunday of November also held the purchase of a gorgeous dress. My intention was only to have a wee look at it in the Marimekko store - it's the same fantastic Pieni Pioni pattern as my coat, only in red, grey and white for a perfect winter dress - but when I tried it on it was simply to perfect to not get. Wonderful heavy viscose crepe fabric, brilliant cut. And pockets. As the coat was a symbolic birthday gift for myself, this dress is the same for Christmas. Bring on the good times.

The month was rounded off with a rare movie visit - 'Fantastic beasts and where to find them'. Loved it. A perfect simple way to end a month of much blah on a light note.

Goodbye November, you were a rough month but in hindsight a good teacher.
Hello December, please be bright, kind and awesome.

world kindness day 2016

'In a world where you can be anything be kind.'

Given the state of the world never has this quote been more apt. Sadly. 

On this World Kindness Day let's spread some love, kindness and compassion. I'm sure you're not short if ideas yourself but I think this article has some neat ones

and never forget to give compliments - 

Let every day be Kindness Day! 💗💚💗

first snow 2016

Today I was going to blog about

a) the first snow that fell in Sweden/Stockholm a few days ago. And upload a sweet video of the overratedness of snow according to cats. 

But 1) the Blogger app oddly enough doesn't allow the uploading of videos from smartphones. 

And 2) today we experienced a crazy snow blizzard and traffic chaos followed (because as usual everyone but the traffic guys, whomever they are, know winters here still - despite global warming - mean snowfall) and the notion of hibernation seems awfully appealing.

The b) topic today was going to be about how love and intelligence trumps hate. And that despite all her flaws (and obviously not being the best option in an ideal world) how rather brilliant it is to wake up to a winter wonderland where there's finally a female president on the other side of the pond.

That didn't happen. And I am not surprised alas. Shocked and deeply saddened yes, surprised not really. A brutal wake-up call for us all. For the environment, for equality, for reason.

Ah, Weltschmerz.

So instead of those sweet topics I simply give you the army of kindness, compassion and cuteness in snow - because that truly trumps everything.

Keep on fighting the good, kind fight!

❄️❤️💛💗💚💙💜❄️

goodbye october 2016

Goodbye October, you have been overall gorgeous and awesome in many many ways. I'm ever so grateful for that after a very tough seven months, that you have given me much more highs than lows. My deepest wish is of course that will continue for the months, the years to come.

The hashtag #october2016 on Instagram is limited to nine photos only, which in no way is enough to show every highlight from my month that was, but at least it gives an idea.

So what has been my highlights of October? Here goes -

:: The arrival of Fleur and Li'l Nutter. And cinnamon bun day.

:: The new glasses from the Smarteyes Non-violence collection (have not had the opportunity to wear the new sunglasses becasue honestly we've only had about 8 hours of sun during October...).

:: The writer's talk at the local library with one of my favourite writers, Arne Dahl (Jan Arnald). He seems like such a very likeable guy. And I got to tell him how fantastic I think his language is. And he signed some of my books. (I only chose to take three of them with me, all 15 would have been a bit too much...)

:: The charity picking up yet more big, black plastic bags hence me cleansing more of my home and life of stuff. Oh the relief.

:: That I was able to invoice a reasonable amount of money. To be able to do that regularly would be heavenly.

:: A great evening about the health of our planet hosted by the Consumer Association Stockholm (Konsumentföreningen Stockholm) with speakers such as Tristram Stuart and Mattias Klum. The talks and their subject on sustainability made me both angry and hopeful. 

But to be really honest, I do believe everything we do now is too little too late to save our planet. Most humans want a change, but they don't want to make changes in their own lifestyle. And the politicians we have are just spineless cowards and opportunists without visions and power of action. The best we can do now is to be as good and kind as we can and enjoy life as much as possible while the planet still exists.

:: My Schwarzwald trip. A growth experience on so many levels. So so much to show and tell. And I will. In a post of its own, one day in November.

:: Birthday. The perfect day for inaugurating the Marimekko flowery happy coat. And I loved the Tove Jansson/Moomin exhibition at Millesgården. Followed by a lovely late vegan breakfast/lunch/dinner at Hälsocafét (The Health Cafe). And I bought a couple of raw food pastries that I enjoyed lots the day after.

:: The Yelp elite event making vegan freakshakes with Djurens Rätt (Animal's Rights, the oldest animal rights association in Sweden which does a great job for animals. I've been a member since I was 7 years old.)

The event was a kick-off for the #VeganViking campaign in Stockholm, Oslo and Copenhagen that starts tomorrow on World Vegan Day and lasts for the first week of World Vegan Month. Use your Yelp-app to check in to different restaurants, cafe and shops in these cities to get great offers during November 1-6.

Alas this week will coincide with the same replacement buses for commuter trains calamity as this past summer so I won't be able to take part of as many things as I'd like. But I will go for one dinner, one fika and host a breakfast at least. Edit: I did have a lunch too and it was lovely.

:: Finishing the month off with a sweet afternoon tea with my mother and Stadsmissionen (The City Mission) - not vegan alas but at least all vegetarian. And very good value for money (sadly the only place that do offer that in Stockholm these days. Every other afternoon tea here is posh and expensive nowadays, such a pity.)

:: The cats. Always the cats. They brighten up every month, come rain or shine.

So thank you so much, October, for all your highlights and good people, good things, good food. 

Hello November, please be kind and brilliant.

hello october

It seems like 2-ish weeks is my new every-day-blogging. Not for a lack of things to write about, but rather no real energy to do it. But after a busy few weeks of working and socializing (each exhausting in their own ways, for an introvert) I feel it's about time to make a little recap of my October so far.

:: As glorious and warm as September was, just as dreary and chilly has October been. In fact it pretty much happened over night. I've been so used to being able to take the short walk to our waste bins in the evenings in shorts and clogs that I was absolutely shocked at how freezing it suddenly was on October 1st.

The trees are slowly turning red and the leafs are falling, but not as drastically as that chilly air came.

Not having the heat pump turned on since April I realised it suddenly became a must, when October arrived. Unfortunately it seems like it's singing on its last tune (13 years old) so I can only hope with fingers and toes crossed that it'll last at least this winter season too. Of course I have radiators, but using those would mean I'd bump up my electric bills with 50%. No really a good option obviously.

:: Last week I got an obligatory visit from the municipal water gauge man, they change our water meters every 10th year. As my water meter is located inside my small walk-in closet situated in my pink office I needed to tidy that up. A lot. Because as much as I loved doing up my office back in 2011 I've still used that closet as an out of sight out of mind area of stuff. Mainly fabrics and clothes I'm about to give to charity but still haven't sorted through. 

And when I opened the closet door and fully realised just how. much. stuff. I had there I had a *minor* panic attack. Desperately needed to get rid of it NOW. Today I've packed 9 big, black, plastic bags with textile and two paper bags with clothes. Tomorrow the charity will come and pick them up. Such a relief. It might not be as liberating as the feeling after they picked up the stuff in May, but close enough. I have a couple of rooms that, yes really rooms plural, need a good cleansing too. (Not to mention the garden shed, but I'll save that for spring.) So I'm thinking it would certainly be a good project for a chilly, autumnal week to sort that out and then finally paint one of those rooms that I've been meaning to do for so long now. Liberating for the soul too, to get rid of old stuff that basically just weighs me down and organise the things I still love and need. 

I'm not a hoarder, but apparently you can still accumulate a lot of stuff over the years that you neither need nor want anymore. But you still don't get around to sorting that out. So I'm deeply grateful for the really brilliant option of just calling your charity of choice and arrange for them to pick things up. (Even more so for us with no car obviously.)

:: It is now two weeks since I sent that email to M's brother and sister-in-law. It was cathartic to finally do so. I didn't need or expect a reply, this was just my way of telling them how upsetting and hurtful their behaviour has been, in order for me being able to move on with my (new) life properly. But still, I believe it's nothing less than crazy that people don't want to reply and explain themselves when they recieve such an email. Unless of course I was spot on in the way I've felt and thought.

So the only thing for me now is to completely put aside that part of my life. Not forgetting M and what we had together obviously, but I will no longer in any way have any contact with his relatives. As far as I'm concerned they don't exist for me anymore. It's sad that they decided to behave in this inconcievable, spiteful way, but I can't allow myself to continue feeling so much hurt over it. It's not something I can forgive, but I can accept how it is in order to move on. For my own wellbeing's sake.

:: Next week I'll be heading to Freiburg. Finally. I'll also pop up to Heidelberg to be guided around the pretty city by a sweet blog reader (*waves*). I do have travel fever. As well as being really excited about a change of scenery and new experiences. And I obsess over the planning, packing and details, because I want it to be just. right. I'm sure it will be, but I also feel that if I get all this planning beforehand just how I want it I'll be able to relax and enjoy the experience more once I get there. 

Hopefully I'll get to visit some interesting sustainability projects, walk a lot, ride tram a lot, enjoy fika and vegan food galore. I remember the Schwarzwald area to be really beautiful and lush with pretty architecture. It'll be a lovely getaway and growth experience!

:: Just in time for the trip two new bobbaloos reached the Scandinavian settlement - meet Fleur (she's a coneflower bob) and Li'l Nutter (he's an acorn bob, inspired by one of my favourite childhood stories 'Ocke, Nutta och Pillerill' by Elsa Beskow and of course my love for acorns). He'll definitely be one of the bobs who accompany me to Freiburg, but Fleur is of a more delicate nature thus she'll stay at home.

Since they arrived on Cinnamon Bun Day (the brilliant Swedish celebration of this bun Kanelbullens dag) they if course were treated to a bun or two. 

:: As my iPhone - the replacement for the one that was stolen 3 years ago - has been acting up more and more I knew I would soon have to replace it. It only has/had 16GB memory too and with all my photos that's such an inconvenience. I'm not the least bit interested in getting the latest iPhone 7 nor the 6-model, because I think larger smartphones look daft and are less convenient size-wise. So I was happy when I noticed that there is indeed the SE-model which has the same optics and most features as the 6. I got my new one a couple of weeks ago, and while I'm not super-impressed with the camera - it's just too little difference from the 5-model, the real noticable difference was between 3 and 4 - it certainly runs a lot smoother so I'm very happy with it.

I don't use my DSLR nearly as much as I used to, but I'll still take it with me on the trip since I think a trip to a *new* (at least it was well before digital cameras was around when I last visited) destination is a perfect way to rekindle with it.

:: It's 5,5 years ago since I last got a pair of sunglasses for my very near-sighted eyes and while I can still wear them their glass isn't strong enough anymore and I do get headaches because of that. So I decided to get a new pair the other week. It would be nice if they're ready before my trip since it would be great to not have to deal with those headaches when the sun is shining. And since you always can get a second pair of glasses for half the price (all frames cost the same) I decided to get another regular pair too. Not that I really really needed them, but before the Non Violence-collection was discontinued I would have loved to get a pair of them, so I did. They're really cool and quite different from any other glasses I've ever had. Hopefully they'll look as good with the glasses inserted as near-sighted me thought when I tried the frames on...

:: And on the job-front? Well, I've been doing a reasonable amount of work for two old clients, sent the invoices last week and now I'll basically have a week of preparing for my trip. Enjoy the trip. Get back home, have a quiet birthday and then concentrate on future clients, jobs and collaborations. Now that I have my beautiful, flowery happy coat as a birthday gift to myself the only thing I can think of that I really would love to get for my birthday is great new clients, assignments and lovely (part time) job offers.

:: Oh, and I won a couple of tickets for the movie 'Miss Peregrine's home for peculiar children' both me and my mum loved the books so I'm treating her to the movie this week. Yes, I've really been so very fortunate in winning great things this past year (generous gift card in my favourite clothing store, the Schwarzwald trip, glasses, the annual consumption of mymuesli and now this). 

When life is rough in other aspects, and sometimes you're just not able to think 'happy thoughts to beat the blues', then it's nice to get little cheerful reminders like this that life isn't all about sadness and melancholy.

So far October, you've been pretty good. Please continue to be kind, uplifting and generous. Thanks so much in advance.

the 11th years blogoversary

Today its apparently 11 years since I started blogging. And how my voice, and my life, has changed since that first, tentative post. How much I have grown.

Of course this year has been completely overshadowed by the death of my life partner M, and my energy levels for blogging isn't what they used to be. But when I do blog I tend to want to write a lot instead. So who cares if it's pretty irregular posting these days, after all the only constant in life, and blogging, is that it changes all the time. The posting, the reading and not least the commenting.

That said, I spent this glorious Indian summer blogoversary day visiting a lovely art and design exhibition at one of my favourite museums in Stockholm, Millesgården (blogged in 2007). The Austrian designer/architect Josef Frank's amazing, famous fabrics for posh Stockholm design store Svenskt Tenn (Swedish Pewter) was on display and it was just such a wonderful, inspiring atmosphere. 

Being able to saunter from the Frank exhibition to the delightful, permanent sculpture garden and home of Swedish sculptor Carl Milles and back was both soul soothing, inspirational and not least energising.

I have a gazillion photos in the iPhone, but only a small handfull have been edited so for now, some highlights only.

Finished the day off with a rather late organic, vegan lunch (at 4.30 pm, living dangerously) and a dito icecream (passionfruit sorbet).

And a lot of walking in between. Nothing spectacular, just really lovely in an unpretentious, colourful and soul soothing way. The perfect, little celebration of the milestone that is the 11th blogoversary, if you ask me.

Happy blogoversary, dear blog readers, 

I'm so grateful that some of you have stuck around for a long time, reading my rants, about my ups and downs, letting me pour my heart out and along the way I've hopefully given you some laughters and inspiration in return - so, why not treat yourself to some cake and celebrate a bit too!