throw me a line

Just when you need it, music appears that speaks to your soul. And in my case, it has more often than not been something new from Haevn these past few years. And for the third year in a row, they were my most played artist on Spotify, and my theme song "Where the Heart is" was still my number one song too (place number two was "Adore you" and apparently I'm one amongst the top 3% who listen to their music on Spotify. There's just something that touch my soul, the special blend of intimate and majestic is simply magical.

2020, I had such high hopes for you. And then you became a mess. Just because humans in general don't respect the natural world and our fellow earthlings, we all have to suffer for it. 

I wanted to write something light hearted, positive and hopeful in the very first post of 2021. But alas I'm not at all in that place now, quite the opposite, I miss my old energetic, grounded in happiness self (I mean, even when M passed away I could feel glimmers of joy and hopefulness). After 10 months of isolation I am drained, tired and have an almost constant brain fog status. There is only as much gratitude on repeat you can feel when there is basically zero input of new insights and meaningful conversations, good meetings and purposeful work to be done.

2020 was suppose to be THE year of new, amazing beginnings, instead it has left me feeling hapless and desolate. The climate angst and Weltschmerz is quite overwhelming. And I cry a lot. Which isn’t really me as I know myself.

I worry about my finances. I desperately want to hold on to the fact that the universe has my back, but currently I worry that there will come a day (in a not so far future) when I won't be able to pay my bills. I'm sad that despite all this searching I haven't been able to find my soul squad and my purpose. It may be 2020 to blame for that too, putting a stop to most things, but it may also be I'm not looking in the right places, my network doesn't really work for my purpose, heck possibly I was born in the wrong time.

I thought I was really good at cultivating my resilience, but after these 10 months and especially a December completely void of sun hours, I'm not sure anymore.

If 2020 hadn't been as it was I probably hadn't done a class in Science of Wellbeing, nor two courses in philosophy. Or the Sustainability Science course. (Got my home exams essay appoved the other week, but I'm quite offended by the grade the essay got. I felt the reading was sloppy and they didn't really understand my point. I know it's a vast subject that need more words, pages and reasoning than the mere 800 words that were our limit, but that diesn’t mean it was that lacking. I will likely argue my case, but on the other hand noone will ever ask for the grade only the fact that I went the course and passed). 

Furthermore I wouldn't have project managed the digital Vegoforum's, nor read as many books that I did (didn't made it to 55, but 52 isn't half bad either).

So of course I’m grateful for those opportunities and results from an otherwise dispiriting year. But now I’m overwhelmingly eager and open to meet my soul squad, my kind of people. Much less worry, less despair and sorrow, more stability, joy and positive green growth, a kinder, compassionate world, please please please, 2021, thank you so very much in advance.

Throw me a line now. 

walk into 2020 like it's a rainbow paradise on fire

First of all, I adore you, my January 2020 music crush - Harry Styles has never been on my radar, 'he's in one of those countless generic boybands, right...?', but I saw him on The Graham Norton Show (which I love) and was completely smittened by the song and his totally snazzy dressing. Look. At. That. Suit. Fabulous.

Secondly. The year, the roaring 20ies have sadly started with one soul-crushing event after the other. And so, to my fellow climate angstees, I recommend this piece on How To Stop Freaking Out and Tackle Climate Change with a pretty great and constructive 5 point plan to do it.

However I do not agree on ditching the shame as such. I still firmly we all need to strive to be better in our own lives, make better choices, as we too as individuals are responsible, not only a broken, sick system and despicable political structures. We can't blame Big Brother for everything. We too must change. As well as keep demanding structural changes of course.



And on that subject - my first post on LinkedIn for 2020 was about this pile of soft toys koalas at IKEA. A company that has and continues to cause a lot of environmental damage all over the world with its production, and a seemingly pretty disgusting marketing ploy. I'd say that no amount of solar panels, recycled furniture or vegan sausages can cover up that fact.



And don't get me started about the fact that our beautiful cherry blossom trees have already begun its blooming season... Three months early...



But the year has not only begun with the continued climate angst and Weltschmerz. The first thing I did to kick it off was to colour it in Pink Pop again. The vegan hair colour rinse from Maria Nila worked its magic again - there's not much left after 5-6 hair washes now, just as expected - and I've decided 2020 will and must be a year with many green insights and a lot of the magic that is pink.



Just before the Christmas holidays I got a free test subscription to a film and TV-series channel blissfully void of ads. The four weeks were subsequently prolonged to eight weeks, so I have enjoyed quite a few good (and bad) movies and streaming of great TV-series. Binge watching has been lovely. And have you ever felt that when you binge watch a great series it feels like losing friends and a context when its over?

Here are my favourites, series and movies, highly recommend them! -

• The First
• The Capture
• Mary kills people
• Five bedrooms
• A million little things
• War of the Worlds
• Wild Bill
• The Rook
• Gold Digger
• Howard's End - I've always loved the original movie from 1992 with Emma Thompson, Helena Bonham-Carter and Anthony Hopkins. But this new TV-series adaption is so very beautiful (the attention to details...) and moving. And those adorable terrier puppies in episode 3, look just like Little Loaf Malte when we brought home at 9 weeks old. 
• The Wife - Gleen Close, amazing,
• Isle of Dogs
• Paddington 2

And just like 2019, I let Isabel Dalhousie, philosopher and Edinburgh sleuth extraordinaire, set the tone for 2020, with this year's first read.

I finished 51 books in 2019, first time I wrote them down and added them to Goodreads. I might never get back to reading as much books as I once did (and audio books are not my cup of literary tea), but I'm happy with almost one book per week (with everything else you have to explore and fit in in your life). Some were spectacular, some lovely little bagatelles, and a few pretty bad. Easy reads but badly written.

I finished the 6 weeks course in "May cause miracles" by Gabby Bernstein, just before New Year's. And while some of the chapters were zero relatable, I just skimmed through them, others were so.very. relatable. It was a good read, I'm still not calm and focused enough for meditation, but it was still a really eye-opening experience in switching one's perspective in thinking and acting.

I think these two first bought books of 2020 also will be two of by greatest reads of the year, one is a Swedish book by climate psychologist focusing on our climate angst, and how to turn what seems like a hopeless grey blanket covering us (this winter it literally has been, the tiredness quite overwhelming) into positive action. Have read 30 pages so far, and it's a yes yes yes, me too-kind of book. I'm so happy to attending a breakfast seminar with them this week, one the Behaviour Impact Gap.

And I think Marie Forleo's "Everything is figureoutable" will be a very good read too. I've always clinged to that notion, especially these past four years of course, looking forward to reading new thoughts and actions on it.

I know I sort of promised to write a recap of last year, but really, let's start with a clean slate, shall we? Like wiping off a really scary, but also nourishing, cleansing and liberating, clay mask from your face. Let's start fresh! (The memories and lessons will always be there, tucked safely away, anyway.)

So, so far this year for me - quite a few interesting and surprising calls, talks, meetings. Some great, some not really what I'm looking for, but still interesting lessons.

I don't think I mention that the friend who volunteered at the great Vegoforum day last year, dragged me with her to the first planning meeting for Vegoforum 2020 in the beginning of December? Wasn't sure it was for me, but somehow I said yes to voluntering, and it has been really interesting and fun so far. This year it will be four theme-days followed by four democracy workshops, the first one in late March.

This Veganuary - I hope you've signed up for it?! - has also been the hat trick for my position on the Top 20 Swedish Lifestyle Blogs to Follow, third year in a row. I may not blog nearly as much as I used to, but still now and then I apparently offer something pretty readable.

Hopefully it won't be 20 days until next post, but for now, I hope your year has begun in a wonderful, hopeful and inspiring way. Continue to act, be and create the change you want to see in the world, in desperate need of that, and remember that...

happy new 2020, happy new decade

I have so many wishes and hoped for this shiny, brand new year. But most of all, may it be infinitely kinder, more compassionate, loving, caring, colourful and joyous than this past year (and decades before that). That is, until the human-induced climate emergency devours us all naturally. But before that, let's be kind. Go vegan. Spread love.

I mentioned a recap of 2019 last week. Well that ain't happening today. But I enjoy recaps of another year of growth, so someday soon it will.

My plans for New Year's Eve - binge watching my new favourite TV-series "a million little things" until I'm going to bed with a good book well before midnight. Bliss.

And for my personal hopes-and-wish-top-list for 2020 (apart from good health and happiness for myself and the people and furries I love as always) are still

1. Finding my true purpose.
2. (Which also holds) finding my meaningful new dream job (clock is ticking, time is too short to settle for less).



3. Finding my tribe, my kind of people.
4. Have more faith, worry less.
5. Have more energy, get more meaningful things done.
6. Feel more joy, less sadness.



Also, let 2020 be a year of more vegans rainbow-soaps for all! (More of these amazing handmade soaps in another post.)

May your new year treat you with kindness and joy, and may you treat the world with more of that too. Welcome 2020, let's be so very kind together!

organic vegan food inspiration, part 7

Whether or not you're signed up to Veganuary it's not too late to sign the pledge or go vegan.

And remember, that people still are consuming meat and dairy, while also contributing to immense suffering, pain and violence, is one of the major reasons for climate change. And stop doing that, going plantbased, is also one of the easiest way to create a better world. For everyone.

Here are some inspiration for delicious vegan food - the previous plantbased inspiration posts are linked at the bottom of this post.



The dish above is supposed to be an adlay millet salad with beetroot served with a sunflower seed cream, however I scorched the adlay and ended up having to use buckwheat instead. It was okey, but I'd prefer more chewy texture. The sunflower seed cream with nutritional yeast was brilliant though and so easy to make.



Cauliflower in creamy curry lentil sauce with baby spinach, chili and wholegrain rice. Basic but nice.



Springrolls with cabbage, cauliflower, carrots, portobello mushrooms served with a wholegrain rice salad and tamari sauce. Lovely. And for every time I make my own springrolls the quicker the process is and the nicer they look. Hooray.



Empanadas with a spicy filling of portobello mushrooms, carrots, squash, garlic and chili. Served with a bean, avocado, baby spinach and tomato salad. It tasted much better than it looks I'm happy to say. Empanada might not be my thing to make.



Potato-leek soup with bread croutons and roasted pumpkin seeds. A basic, rustic and nice soup, but to make my own bread croutons was a great experience. That such a simple thing could add so much to the dish.



Polenta with oven baked aubergine, squash, red onion and almonds served with tapenade and rocket salad. I really really don't like olives/tapenade, but other than that it was a nice dish. Possibly a bit much work with the veggies for what you got in flavour/texture.



Vegan burger with potato wedges, tomato salsa and cabbage-carrot salad. The burger itself was bland, a bit soggy and too much fennel, but as a complete dish it was a great meal. And the salad was great. I'm really rubish at making simple side salads on my own, I'm always remembered how easy it is with these recipes but I still keep forgetting it when it's "a week without the food box" alas. (Good idea for this year's personal goals perhaps? Make more diverse, simple salads.)



Chili sin carne with quinoa, avocado and cherry tomatoes. No I'm not a great fan of tomato-based dishes in general, and this wasn't one of the exceptions. Still a basic, nourishing meal. And the quinoa made it a bit different.



Seitan-tortellini with kale pesto and fried tomatoes. Not every vegan enjoys kale and I'm one of those. No matter how it's prepared I rarely find it edible, too much of a chewy weed texture/flavour for me. However, to turn it into a pesto was actually a pretty neat thing (alongside almonds, nutritional yeast, lemon, rapeseed oil, black peppar and salt).



Pakoras with cauliflower, onion and sweet-potato on a bulgur salad with cucumber and cranberries. Quite nice, though perhaps a bit much work with the pakoras compared to what you got flavour- and texture-wise.



Korma curry with kidney beans, cauliflower, carrots and baby spinach. Not a favorite, very basic and rather boring imho. I'm not big on stews like this.



Another vegan burger with potato wedges and pickled red onion this time. Same burger as above, so bit soggy and too much fennel again, but pickled red onion is really fabulous!



Marinated tofu with fried black cabbage, carrots, rice and tamari sauce. Lovely and simple.



Pumpkin soup with chili, lime and coconut chips. Pumpkin soup is one of my favourite kind of soups, this was no exception. Wonderful and flavourful. Healthy comfort food at its best. I sprinkled a bit of chia and pumpkin seeds on top too for extra crunch.



Salad tacos with beanmash, avocado, tomatoes and purple sweet potato fries. Pretty colours but taste-wise rather bland.



Vegan hotdog in bahn mi buns, tabbouleh and pickled red onion. Simple and tasty crossover plantbased food. The hotdogs were seitan frankfurters, which are delish and very filling.

As usual, the recipes can be found on the Årstiderna website or in the app. In Swedish only, but I'd be happy to translate if you're interested in any particular dishes. (There's a limit to Google Translate's skills...)

So, what's vegan cooking for you this week?


Previous inspiration posts -

Organic vegan food inspiration 1
Organic vegan food inspiration 2
Organic vegan food inspiration 3
Organic vegan food inspiration 4
Organic vegan food inspiration 5
Organic vegan food inspiration 6

ice ice baby and other january snippets

Thinking about my professional and personal goals for 2019 I thought "writing two blog post per week" could be one. That obviously isn't going to happen. Moving on.

Moving as in walking outside is otherwise currently not recommended on these latitudes, climate change offers all sorts of crazy, scary weather these days. And last week's heavy snowfall was quickly followed by rain and then the temperatures dropped significantly below zero C. Leading to knobbly, extremely icy roads and streets.

With little or no road maintenance this means most streets and roads in the Stockholm area, and probably in other parts of Sweden too, are beyond scary right now. For the first time ever I'm wearing spikes on my shoes, which does help, but still, scary it is.



Did venture out to pick up a parcel today, and get some grocery. Apart from a rare sun shining it wasn't a pleasant experience at all. Noticed the neighbourhood's big garbage can was barely used, it's usually almost full the day before it's weekly emptying. I guess people actually have gone into hibernation.

I celebrated the icy outing with a big cup of hot cocoa. Vegan and dairy free of course, with oat milk, whipped coconut cream and plantbased marshmallows plus a sprinkle of cinnamon. It was really rather delicious.



Between the last post and the ice I've had some lovely lovely green lunches and inspirational talks with friends and aquaintances. I've continued the quest for my tribe, had a couple of interviews, but as far as I know and feel I'm no closer to finding it alas.



I've had my second meeting with the physiotherapist, which revealed both good and bad news, partly things (mobility and pain) has improved, but partly the mobility will probably never be what it was, since the wrist and the bones have healed rather differently than the original position. I still don't regret saying a firm no to surgery, with all the risks that come with that option.

Slowly things will improve more, apparently you'll have to wait up to a year to evaluate the situation. And you adapt to new circumstances, and how things are. Even if the compensating with the right arm and other muscles for the loss of mobility in the left hand/arm has led to other aches and pains at times, it's doable I guess. It could be worse.



I got a pedicure as a Christmas gift from my mum, I try to go at least once per year, preferably twice (pre-summer and winter), it was bliss. I stumbled over a pair of irresistable cat socks on sale on my way there. So as an extra treat I could put on a fresh pair of colourful socks after the treatment. It's the small things.



On our way to late lunch afterwards we had the most bizzare incident with what can only be described as a mad mad elderly woman on the bus. She started a fight, that even got physical, with another elderly woman (innocent to the kerfuffle) over the impaired seats. I think we all froze because it was so unexpected and crazy, and who knows what the mad woman had in her big bag.

Things calmed down, but I later heard from a friend that she had also been a witness to a similar incident on the same bus route and then the bus driver had stopped the bus until security guards got there and removed her. I've rode that bus route countless of times over the years, but this was certainly the first time anything like that had happened. I do hope I won't cross paths with that crazy one again. Touch wood.



I was told by Facebook that my fabulous happy coat number one turned 5 years old last week. Time flies.It's still one of my best (clothes) buys ever.

And I was finally brave enough to put my happy coat number two into the washing machine. Even if the washing instructions say "machine wash 30C" I've dreaded it, who knows what can happen to a costly (worth every penny!) fluffy quilted jacket when it spins in the washer... But I don't want to use the dry cleaners unecessarily either.

It went well. Phew. I don't know if it helped that I washed it with three new tennis balls, using the old trick for down jackets (which this obviously isn't). But so pleased it's done. With a positive outcome. That coat is so very I. And it's a good memory from a rough year, when everything changed.



I still haven't used my new anorak, the last thing I bought in 2018 (meant for future dog walks but which is to pretty for it anorak), partly because of the weather but mainly because buying a coat with big black flowers was obviously a less that well-thought through idea. My two reasons for never getting or wearing black are a) it's a depressing, boring, uninspiring non-colour for people that only wants to blend in and b) it's a magnet for pet hair and lint.

And if it's something I'm mentally allergic to it's clothes and fabrics with fuzz. I'm super careful to not let the cats near my work/out and about clothes and only wear the shabbiest of comfy cuddle-friendly clothes at home. It has worked well for all these years. Apparently I let my guard down and thought "surely a sturdy partly-black cotton canvas coat can't be that liable to cat hair and lint?" - I was wrong.



Something I discovered when I took these pictures. I had been super careful with the coat, and still it was full of cat hair and lint. I know black clothes in stores are all fuzzy hanging on the rails already, with all the black-wearing Swedes I guess noone cares about that (but me). There's only so much a lint roller can do.

That said, I've invested in a new, much recommended heavy roller and refills, and have decided to try and not let the pet hair and lint issue bother me. At least not that much. Let's see how that works... Maybe a good lesson for 2019?



I've bought a cute handcarved hook for the coat, so it can hang pretty and by itself. I chose a duck, and not a cat, simply because the animal hooks with beaks or protruding noses were more pleasing to the eye. From the Swedish company Wildlife Garden, which has a lot of lovely garden and animal related interior things.



As I mentioned earlier, I've contemplating a haircut of change. A way to start the new year fresh I suppose. I will never have the time or inclination to put a lot of time into styling, even if the frizziness often is annoying. Keep it simple is my hair motto (with great shampoo and conditioner and hair paks of course).

One morning last week I looked in the bathroom mirror and was finally so tired of the dull, dry hair ends that I just took the scissors and made a blunt cut. Managed to cut much shorter than I had planned, but I like the look. Of which I don't have a decent picture yet - and no, it isn't me in the picture, but my newly arrived, much belated thanks to our rubbish Swedish postal *service* PostNord Christmas greeting, spirit animal/guardian feline angel. Thank you Lizzy, she's adorable!

I'm still in a blended state of shock/liberation. It was a very long time since I had it this short. I can still get a tiny ponytail, but on the other hand I rarely do that anyway. New hair, new year, here I come!



New year also means new bras, or at least it will from now on since it's such a great thing to get new at the beginning of a fresh new year. I was delighted to discover that my reliable model for 15 years (yes, really, I'm so relieved I've found the model I'm comfortable with, trying on underwear is one of the most dispiriting activities ever) now comes in pretty spring colours too. So tired of the boring black, beige, white. Baby blue and peach are so much nicer than that. Now I wish for red, green, pink, orange, yellow, pale grey, navy and violet too...



Musn't forget to acknowledge we apparently have a government in Sweden again, it only took the toddler politicians 4 months to come to an agreement. An agreement I suppose is neither very bad nor very good. However the most pressing issue, the dire need of drastic changes in our habits for at least a slim chance to evade the worst climate change consequences, that has hardly been mentioned. Which is heartbreaking as well as infuriating.

On the subject of climate change, if you haven't read the report about the planetary health diet from EAT/Lancet, you really should. I don't know how many research reports that are needed for people to change their eating habits and politicians to set the rules, an endless amount it seems. If we're going to have a livable, peaceful future on this planet it needs to be plantbased. Period.



Now, while under siege of the ice I'm planning to figure out and set my goals for the new year. I'm so relieved and grateful I mostly work from home, -

Not only for the ice situation, the commuter train delays all autumn have been ghastly, and it has become even worse after new year's. I don't know how people who do commute on a daily basis can stand it. Especially as the ticket prices have gone up again, while the service only gets worse. Swedes are simply too docile. -

that I'm able to take that kind of step back. I have the enclasping goals set already, I just have to break them down in more tangible entities. Focus.

I'm also planning to have groceries delivered, which will be a new thing for me. And dusting off the excercise bike might be a good thing too. And what better time than now to tentatively work myself back to a yoga routine.

Onwards and upwards, 2019!