goodbye sweet october, hello november

 

Another small, restricted month in a world where the new normal is abnormal is over. My month. October, that both begun and ended with a blue full moon A month when nature offers a bonanza of sparkling colours, in a very much less sparkling world.  

If I was religious I'd say that Armageddon is upon us. As I am an atheist, I'd say that Armageddon is upon us. Every day something new and scary, nature showing its full force (human induced obviously) or mankind rearing its absolutely ugliest head full of hate and completely void of sanity, intelligence,  kindness and compassion.

It is really really REALLY very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel now, wouldn't you agree? 

I loved the positive vegan vibes, the innovative ideas, the entrepreneurial force of the Vegoforum last Saturday. It was both exhausting, infuriating and uplifting to plan the event. One day I may write more of what aspects were exhausting, infuriating and uplifting with it. But I'm doing my best to keep this monthly roundup post short-ish. So let's leave it at that for now. I'm already working with the two last forums for the year. Had a Friyay feeling about it last evening, so I worked late and felt very inspired. 

It's been quite consuming of mind and time, and to be honest I haven't been able to study as diligently as I had planned on with the Sustainability Science class alas. The exams will be an home essay (of which we have no details yet) that we have to hand in on December 20th at the latest. The last forum is on December 5th, then I have two weeks to really dig in on that essay. We have four optional quizzes before that, which counts for 20% of the grades. I've done one, and was pretty shocked about the results as it seems I've misconstrued quite a bit. A few of my replies were quite the opposite to the correct ones, which seems weird. But there you are. The focus need to be the essay.

On a personal level, during these extraordinary circumstances times for us all, well at least for us who aren't cavalier and take responsibility for how we behave and act, I think October has been a pretty good month for me.

Despite the ups and downs with the Vegoforum planning and executing it has also been a good thing to keep my wandering mind off worries, unhappiness and sorrows. To just focus in the now and then enjoy the walks, the fikas, running small errands, buying, cooking and eating good food. And of course, having intelligent conversations with the cats. One desperately has to concentrate on what can be done and enjoyed, and not the enormity of all the things one miss. One day at a time. And hey, say buy to another week. Another month. Seven and a half months, people, seven. and. a. half. months. And most likely at least as long before we can possibly, perhaps, maybe can get back to something similar to what used to be normal. See, I'm not very hopeful. 

Accepting and adjusting to how things are, sacrificing and coping, those aren't really mindsets who put you in the best of hopeful or positive moods. Yes, I've learnt a lot these months, of which I'm grateful for, but jeez, living in limbo, some sort of forced half life is rough on both body and mind. 

I did trip and fall at the beginning of the month (as seems to be my new annual tradition that time of the year). My left knee has been pretty sore on and off for the rest of the month, and both my wrists were for the first week or so. The reason for tripping, no obvious one at all. On rare yet regular occasions I'm clumsy and have been so since I was a kid. But the older one gets, the scarier it is, a broken arm due to slipping on a cat vomit isn't all that fun so I'm trying to be extra cautious all the time these days, to avoid situations like that. Yet, they happen anyway.

I haven't had much time to read books during October. But somehow I seem to be on the right track with my 55 books 2020 challenge anyway. I now need to finish 16 books before December 31st to reach that goal. Think I can do it?

Even if I most certainly don't relish the notion of being a year older (but we have already decided that 2020 doesn't count right?), I did enjoy the quiet birthday celebrations a lot. I also got myself a very orange tunic/dress - I though it would look snazzy and stylish, but albeit lovely it does confirm my granny toddler style. Embrace and flaunt it. Or maybe, possibly not wear the tunic with a pair of old cat leggings? (Suitable for a not so crazy cat lady.)

I got some lovely old, never used embroidered by my grandma cotton sheets and two old Maria Lang-books (as I've mentioned earlier I want to collect all of her books, 45ish of them), now I have 15. In times where you can't visit thrift stores or second hand book shops that's tricky. Of course you can get them online, but it's difficult to find a bunch of them from the same seller, and then you end up having to pay a lot of postage from several seller instead. No fun. Loved that she recently happened to get these books from a friend of hers (Malte the pug's old mum, who happened to be a librarian before she retired), read them, then gave them to me.

2020 was also the year I finally unsubscribed to the regular phone line. Most people just use their mobiles these days, but I'm not all that comfortable with just a smartphone and no other means of communicating in an emergency etc. So I've kept the phone subscription as a security measure, even if I still used the smartphone 99% of the time. Which means I've paid a hefty price for something I'm not really using, haven't used for these past couple of years.

First I planned to unsubscribe and get a cheaper provider, but then I couldn't be bothered. It's better to get another cheap and basic mobile phone as a backup instead. Now I'm thinking of upgrading my iPhone, in an ideal world something this expensive and also not very sustainably produced (but oh so good for working and photography), would last for at least 10 years. Which obviously is pure dreaming. My iPhone is 2,5 years, and it's slowing down and acting up a bit lately. A nuisance. But hopefully I can keep it as my backup phone, instead of selling it. 

Though as life isn't what it used to be (duh) the project of getting a new one, but not being able to go into a store and talk with an actual real life person and getting technical help etc, also seems quite overwhelming. I always have a screen shield on my phones, I can't understand people who don't, and they're so tricky to attach it's easier to get the store do it. Dread doing it myself. Ah well, one step at a time. Spending precious energy and time worrying about this is useless.  

I have two other technical issues that annoys the heck out of me, firstly the Swedish television broadcast not being analogue anymore which means that of you don't have a TV younger than born in 2009 you're either forced (if you think you need a TV) to get a new one altogether or buy an additional digital box. I helped my mother with getting a brand new TV in September and managed to install it myself, first time ever, and I'm quite impressed by and proud of myself for doing it. The manual wasn't very good (understatement) but I'm persistent enough to keep at it until I've figured it out. A little victory for September.

Myself I've so far settled for watching TV via the Apple TV, not all regular channels, but the most basic ones can be watched that way. I also have free subscription for a cable channel for a year, which has a lot of movies, TV-series and documentaries. Somehow it's quite liberating to more actively chose what to watch this way. Unfortunately, after watching some great series and movies initially I now have high standards for what I what to spend time watching and most options quickly fall flat. So many rubbish, generic, ridiculous series and movies out there. 

Second nuisance is the fact that for some crazy reason the community association (97 properties in my hoods) voted for installing fiber network in our neighbourhood, despite only about 30 houses had signed up for it. An overwhelming majority had not. Yet they managed to get a go ahead. And begun working two weeks ago, streets, parts of flower beds and shrubs have been mauled and they have yet to restore as promised. The sales tactics from the internet company  (with a very questionable reputation) have been quite aggressive too. They're suppose to finish the extensive work next week. And then we can all enjoy the damage they've caused the whole neighbourhood for the questionable benefit of about 30% of the residents.  

Well, this post wasn't as short and sort of sweet as I planned. I might as well have written more extensive about the exhausting, infuriating and uplifting to planning of the Vegoforum event. But one done, two more to go. There will be a perfect time to write a summary about the ups and downs once those are done.

Thank you October, my friend, you were pretty and you behaved overall benevolently. You were quite enjoyable, despite the circumstances. I'm grateful for that, sweetie.

November, I know your general reputation is dull and dark, uninspiring and overburdening. Shall we not agree on changing that this year of many many burdens already? Okay? Agreed!

And to friends and readers across the pond, VOTE VOTE VOTE. Please put a firm and active stop to this mayhem and madness that has been allowed to pervert and deeply stained the very idea of decency and democracy for these past four years. You need to heal your country. We all need to heal the world. Together.

solar roof dreaming

So. Of the 97 properties in my community association it seems only one (1) have a solar (panel) roof. 

Something which has been on top of my house wishlist for years, but for many reasons I haven’t been able to install one. Yet. And after the leaky roof incident, plus everything disappointing that happened after that, that's still my first priority (alongside other annoying house related issues that have been popping up these past few years... Gah!). And a solar roof is still a dreamy dream.

Obviously, unlike for my neighbours, it has zero to do with prioritizing luxuary renovations like gutting fully functional bathrooms, kitchens etc etc etc. Instead of making slow, sustainable, reusing materials renovations, many (like Swedes in general...) of them seem to have out with the old, in with the new regular cycles (from what I've seen with constant major renovations, not upkeeps, over the almost 20 years I've been living here). It's just depressing.

The vast majority of the households also have several cars and then  there's a lot of complaining about the *lack of* parking lots, instead of everything is connected-connecting the dots of having max one car, park in the garage and use the excellent public transports (pre-pandemic). Or even better, there should be a car-pool instead, and a bicycle-pool. It's well over-due that we all look past our own selfish convenience, and simply strive to be better earthlings. Cool down, my melting brain.

Quite many are also lazy/ignorant/selfish enough to not bother with recycle/source separate garbage (something EVERY Swede is bound by law to do, but too many chose to not give a sh*t about). So pretty much every time I go to our shared garbage bin, I see things that should have been recycled and not thrown in the garbage (glass, paper, plastic, tin). Be still, my rolling eyes.

.

That has little to do with not having solar panels on your roof obviously, per se. But those issues are still part of The Problem. And just another proof that the majority in this reasonably affluent middle-class neighbourhood give f**k all about the role they play in the most important matter of our time, which we are ALL facing now: the climate emergency *insert many red exclamation marks*

I have no idea who lives in the inspiring solar house on the corner. But it made me really happy to see the dedication and insight they show (and of course, at least equally dispiriting to see the other 99% ish non-solar roofs), to be part of the solution! Might need to put a nice note in their letter-box.

And my dreaming continues.

dear, oatly, was that such a great decision?

You were one of my favourite companies, Oatly. You truly lived your values, sustainability to the core. Not only delicious, kind, dairy cruelty-free products - like milk, only made for humans! - you were sazzy, witty, clever and your copy and marketing were obviously inspired by my once-upon-a-time beloved innocent drinks.

But the fact that two major investors of your's now are Blackstone - notorious when it comes sustainability, playing a major part in the deforestation of the Amazonian rainforests for example - and the state of China - equally notorious - these deals come with a very bad aftertaste, I'm sad to say.

Just like innocent sold their core and soul to Coca Cola back then, you have now sold your values and soul to big business. It feels like a gargantuan green-washing deal. Once again, being true to your values means less when money talks.



I hope that everyone who criticize the deal (Swedish) and this (English) and questions your values will be proven wrong, that what is now perceived as naivety will prove to be smart foresightness. That a little plantbased, sustainability dedicated company from Skåne, Sweden will have a major positive, worldwide impact as opposed to being the brand that forefronts a lot of dirty, environmentally devastating dealings. Given that it's big business, and money over values and ethics, that got us in this climate emergency situation in the first place, I kind of doubt that though.

Your products are still great, your business ethics and choice of bedfellows with likeable celebrity figureheads does however not impress as much anymore. But time - whatever livable time we have left on this planet, of course - will tell...

sustainability science here i come!

Today all the people that had applied to university educations and courses got their admission information. I'm happy and proud to say I got a yes on the introduction to Sustainability Science-course part time I applied to in April. At my old alma mater, Stockholm University and its world renowned research Resilience Centre.

As I think that the various Swedish admission rules are pretty... messy, I wasn't 100% sure I'd get in. But apparently it's a pretty certain thing when you have a serious bunch of university points already, like a Master of Law. But well, if there's one thing I've learnt from life, it's to never (ever) take anything for granted...

Apparently, due to corona and many people losing their jobs, many more people applied for uni classes this year. And a lot obviously didn't get in. So I'm even more grateful I did.

This is something I'll do part time from August 31st to February. The rest of the time I do hope, with every fibre of my body, fingers, toes and my beating heart, that I will have met and clicked with my dream job obviously.

Again I have a fine little pile of very interesting jobs I'm applying to this summer. I don't have much choice than carry on applying, looking and hoping - this is how resilience works - but there are really bleak days. Days overwhelmed by worries. Somewhere in between all the NOS I hope to get that glorious YES, from my kind of people in my kind of company.

It's such a waste that I haven't reached that point yet (though at least I'm full of life lessons and close to being transformed a wise ol' owl). It would be a huge relief to breath easy again. Having something figuratively heavy lifted from my shoulders. To feel inspired and energized again.

55 books

Last year was the year when I decided to join GoodReads. Thought it was a good year to do so since I managed to read 52 books, Which may not be a big deal for you super book nerds out there, but for me, who have struggled with my reading mojo since my burnout (just previous to when I started this blog, which makes it over 15 years...), it's a really big deal.

This year I sat the goal to 55 books being read. I'm 4 books behind schedule, but still, I think 44% ie 24 books read already is pretty good.

Far from everyone has been a good read. But you can see which ones I've enjoyed the most from the stars given on GoodReads. So far I'm especially happy to have rekindled with Haruki Murakami's books. Despite it's 500ish pages, the Killing Commendatore, part I was a surprisingly quick read. I remembered how much I adore his writing style. Begun part II immediately, but I thought I should make it a slower read. And try to finish some shorter books in between.



This book is fantastic too, Norwegian writer Maja Lunde's acclaimed "Blå" (or in English 'The End of the Ocean'). For being such a tough and heartbreaking topic, the progress of climate change between the mid 20th to the mid 21st century. It's impossible to put down. I would actually go as far as to say it's one of the best books I've ever read.



If you want to read up on China, past and present, this is a few recommendations of mine. Jan-Phillipp Sendker's two latest books I've read this year, and am reading, the other ones are old, memorable ones from years ago. Including Swedish Henning Mankell's 'The Man from Beijing' ('Kinesen', you get to understand a lot of what made China to what it is through that book, and yet it's a fictional thriller).



I've also "rediscovered" Maria Lang's suspense novels with the dashing inspector Christer Wijk. I remember devouring them all (I think there's about 45 books by her) when I was a kid/teen. I realised I have 13 books of her's in my bookshelves, so I decided to read them this year. I wish I had them all, but this will do for now. Will have to look them up in thrift stores (whenever that is possible again...) and start a collection. She's Swedish equivalent to Agatha Christie, she lived in the pretty smalltown Nora, so most of her books are set there (then called Skoga) or in Stockholm. They're quite enjoyable, and easy reads, the characters are heavy smokers and the gender roles are rather skewed (written between 1949 - 1990), but  if you're able to look past that because of those times I think you'll enjoy them.



One of the books I'm currently reading is Shinrin-yoku (Forrest Bathing) by Dr Qing Li. Beautiful and fascinating book. I hope to be wiser and more open to using more of my senses when I go for walks in the woods after I've finished it.



You may remember the special relationship I have with the number 55, since 2017. The beautiful Stockholm city library is situated at number 55 by the way. It seem's befitting that 55 books read is a decent goal for a year when so much is turned upside down, I think. So much is about waiting these days, and with no place to go, reading is travelling in your mind at least. Making the slow life more meaningful and enlightening.

What's your book goal for 2020? 
Have you read something amazing yet? 
Or something you find overrated perhaps, or really bad even?

bye june, hey july 2020

I'm thinking about challenging myself to actually write a little blog post every single day in July. Because there isn't much else one can do these days, other than walk, cook, eat, drink tea, read, cuddle cats, watch movies, meditate. Life continues to be very restricted for most of us, who don't own or have access to a car. I think most of us feel life is on hold, the waiting game prolonged.

I've struggled with setting the tone of this post, will I keep it light and positive, or will I simply tell it like it is. Life is made up of both, even in these troubled times for all of us. And I haven't exactly shyed away from the difficult stuff before...

So, even if I'm grateful to be an intro/ambivert, and ever so grateful I'm not of an addictive nature, this is *starting* to take its toll on me too. Even if I enjoy my own company, and solitude, I also feel lonely. People with loving partners and good families probably don't get it. Nor do people with friends they have deep and meaningful relationships with. To be quite honest, I don't think I have anyone like that in my life anymore. There, now that's said and out there.

During these months, no one has gotten in touch to hear how I'm doing. And vice versa, after the first few weeks I have felt zero inclination to reach out myself. The energy levels are limited. People are working, from home or wherever they feel comfortable and safe to be, they're only interested in social distancing contacts with people close by. If anyone with a car was interested to meet up in my neighborhood, for a take away lunch and a walk and talk, I'd be happy too. But few people seem to have cars and the ones I've asked have said "sure, but maybe later", and that later never happened...

I'm not the least bit interested in having more Zoom- or Skype talks than those which are work or pro bono-necessary. They're just stressful and unproductive, they never fill me with joy or inspiration. The only contacts I have with people these days (apart from darling little mom, grocery store clerks, the neighborhood's dog ladies and such) are via short comments on social media. Which on the one hand feels quite insufficient, on the other hand quite enough for my current energy levels.

The times we're living in are traumatizing for most us, so maybe this is the new normal (at least for us not prone to alcoholism or violence...) and perhaps that also means we only have just enough energy to focus on the immediate close circle.

I know I feel that way, but at the same time I feel lonely. On the other I don't have the energy to spend on a lot of interactions. And if I start reaching out to more people, perhaps I'll feel it's a bit overwhelming in the end? It's enough to cope with my own thoughts and personal issues. Weltschmerz as well as personal worries. And even if meditating does help, it's only as much as that can do to keep the demons away. One day at a time, one day at a time. Reading, cat cuddling, cooking, walking, repeat. Who said it was without complications?

I found June to be a particular bad month, on a personal level. (Because we all know what a shi**y month it was for the world, so no need to dig into that. And this is after all, my little world within the world, so...). It began with a plantar fasciitis from hell in my left heel (not had one since 2009, but this past year I have been wearing more sneakers than usual and I find that sneakers generally give much less support to my feet than regular shoes. Sure they are seemingly comfortable and kind, but overdo the walking in them, there will be a hefty price to pay...

So I had to spend a couple of weeks resting, stretching and hobbling out to the garbage bin regularly  (in different shoes, just to see which ones would work best for a painful heel). Finally last week I did my hobble in the vegan wedges I got in March, and they felt very promising. The next day I did a longer walk to the grocery store, and it was painfree. Huzzah!

Taking it slowly, but so far two walks this week and I'm hopeful to be back on my usual walking track within a foreseeable future.

The job processes I was recently positive about, didn't lead to anything. And others haven't either. It's absolutely crazy that it is this hard to find my kind of people, my kind of company. I'm weird and wonderful, but apparently too many companies and organisations find me weird and incomprehensible. No matter how qualified I am, no matter how much potential and visions I have. That in itself is deeply disturbing, and depressing. Maybe I should just give up finding a job in Sweden, and find one abroad that accepts and encourage remote working?

But all in all, I'm really at lost on what to do now, where to look, where to find, at last. When you find yourself, after much work and effort, in this position, you kind of have to truly trust that universe has your back...

Last week's depressing heatwave didn't exactly help the mood either. I'm grateful for cooler weather and two days of several rain showers now though. But nature is in desperate need much much more water, more rain.

Before the heatwave I immensely enjoyed my little, shabby, green haven of a garden. Lilacs, honeysuckle, rhododendron... Roses, mock orange and now clematis. I wish they could blossom for a longer time though. It's fleeting time of immense beauty and calls for intense appreciation of nature's little wonders.

One of the cats passed away last Friday. He suddenly got poorly and rapidly lost weight after Midsummer. Over the years I've gotten (too) well versed with cats and cancer, and its often very quick process. I used to dash off to the vet, and followed by painful procedures with always poor outcomes. After those times I decided to never again submit 10+ years old cats to that stress but keep them comfortable at home and if possible let them pass away in the comfort of their well-known surroundings and alongside friends.

He drank water, didn't ate very much, enjoyed cuddles, slept a lot and kept to himself. On a very warm and humid Friday evening he fell into the final sleep on the veranda. As the vet was closed by then I had to wrap him up and keep him in the freezer over the weekend. That's how you have to problem solve things, even the very sad things. On Monday morning I put him in a box, walked to the vet, and paid a hefty price for the cremation. And that was the end of Waldemar Warwick.

He was a fun, weird kitten and young cat, but as a grown up, older cat he wasn't one of the cats with big personalities, but a more subdued fella. But still, he was part of the cat puzzle in this residence. He had never been sick once, always a healthy sight in shiny, black fur so this came very unexpected. He would have turned 13 in a couple of months.

With a cat gang now between 8 and 16 years old, most of them never having been sick a day in their lives, I guess you can never tell which one will be next. It feels a bit like being in the Agatha Christie novel "And Then There Were None".

I can't imagine my life without cats, but with the immense joy, gratitude and furry love comes sorrow. There have been countless of tears shed over cats lost, over the years. And well, this experience didn't exactly add anything positive and joyful to my current mood. But there you are, life.

I had high hopes for June, those were really put to shame. I'm not even sure what lessons I've learnt from it. Life is rough, but there are always people who are worse off, be grateful for the good things you have, have had and will have?

Now half of the year is gone. And EVERYTHING is topsy turvy, can you please, gorgeous July, turn into something positive, uplifting, beautifully solution based and inspiring? I need it. And I'm not alone.

See you tomorrow. One little post at a time.

thank you, joaquin phoenix, for being a beautiful human being

I rarely watch the Oscars. I'm just not very interested in occasions that can be considered a club of intermutual admiration. And to quote someone wise "... difficult to watch is the palpable self-importance and smugness. Most of them seem barely capable of stringing together a sentence of any substance."

That said, I'm not sure what made me stay up until 5.10 am to watch it live this year. Only saw the last couple of hours, after finishing watching a movie and discovering it was already pretty late so why not round the weekend off watching the Oscars...

When the Best Male Actor was finally announced I was so very happy to see it went to Joaquin Phoenix. Not only a great actor but a humble and dedicated animal rights activist. Not sure what I expected from his acceptance speech, but nothing quite as amazing, eloquent, powerful, compassionate and beautiful as this. I bawled my eyes out. Then I cried myself to sleep because what else could one do.

The message has by now probably been heard by everyone not living under a rock, but it's so undeniably important if we want to create a better world for everyone. Violence breeds violence, and peace begins on our plates. If we even want a future, then it is vegan. So can we now begin to save this burning, suffering world in desperate need of kindness and compassion, please?

"Run to the rescue with love, and peace will follow."

His full speech in writing here.

pia's vegan power blend, god's disobedient rib, the job that wasn't meant to be and other non-foolish april stories

Hello again, there seem to have been a case of a slight blog hiatus. It's only the old "the more you have to write about the more of a struggle to get going there is".

And the more you'd want to really dive into each subject, the more overwhelming it seems. So I've decided to keep each step reasonably short - do I hear sniggers of disbelief?



Started my April by picking up my new cat frame glasses. That style has never fitted me, but I think the looked pretty cool when I tried them on. It's a new collection from Smarteyes called The New Femme Fatale, and this particular model is called Confidence. For those days when you need a little extra boost perhaps?

I remember when I first begun wearing glasses, late teens (but then I could still get away with not wearing them and see reasonably well if I squinted a bit. As I prefered to do, since glasses weren't really I back then). Then they were just terribly expensive, in fact I think one pair costed as much as my four pairs now set me back. And I still had to had my eyes checked regularly and new prescriptions, and the frames weren't of better quality, only more expensive.

Now there are a gazillion optician chains competing for us spectacle snakes's attention. Glasses are cool and have sneaked up as fashion accessories. For better or worse I suppose.



On April 1 I also inaugurated The Trousers. And I don't think I looked like an April Fool's joke. They were comfy and felt weird at the same time. Being a 99,5% wearer of dresses and skirts I guess that was a very normal reaction. But as the weather has been unseasonably cold - which I'm grateful for in these global warming of our times - they were also rather perfect. Hopefully there'll be some more days of wearing them before summer hits.

As is probably evident by now, my wardrobe is full of patterns, stripes, dots, flowers, birds... And as much as I love to mix and match colours and patterns, sometimes you just want one special pattern shine. Which, for me, is difficult. I don't even have one plain white T-shirt. True story, believe it or not.



So for months now I've been trying to add a few good quality basic neutrals and block colours. Which, for someone who is so in love with colours and patterns, is no mean feat.

But behold two gorgeous, happy pieces I think will serve me well for many years to come. The green blouse is the one from Marimekko I wrote about in the last post. It needed end incisions to fit me in more ways than one, so for the first time ever I decided to go to a tailor to have it done. Will pick it up tomorrow and I do hope it looks great.

The yellow knitted sweater (in cotton and linen) is from Bric-a-Brac. It's cosy and oversized and pretty much goes well with the same skirts as the green blouse. Now a white T-shirt, preferably V-neck, and I'm all set for having a gazillion combinations for summer.



And how about my little blue-eyed light? Well, I thought she was well on her way back to normal (normal for her, not any other cat,as she is a little odd character), the antibiotic for the not-sure-what-it-is-but-some-sort-of-bacteria-infection seem to had done its job, but she went back to not being herself again. Back to to vet, which obviously both annoys and worries me, it's not particularly fun to a) knowing something is not alright with her, but b) the vet not being able to determine, nor very strategic in ruling out things, what it can be and then charging me for it...

I thought the iron supplement for her initial anemia had worked, and it turned out she was once again slightly anemic. So back on that. So far some days are better than others. I'm glad she has a great appetite for wet food, not too keen on the usual dry food, and eats lots. But she also sleeps much more than usual and well, isn't her old self in general. I'm actually thinking it might be borrelia. It was a few years since I saw a tick on her, but then again the longterm effects of those nasties can take time. One day at a time. And patience I suppose.



I really hate early mornings. And not having to deal with rush hour behaviour on a regular basis is one of the huge benefits with running your own business mainly working at your home office. Nevertheless, breakfast seminars is clearly something I do reasonably often, and as I know they're more often than not rather enjoyable I keep attending. Despite every morning thinking"well, this seemed like a good idea at the time but now naaah...".

Thus I've been to three these last two weeks, very different, all good. One on service driven communication - great vegan breakfast -, one on Train holidays - poor vegan breakfast, it's not very sustainable with avocado and then the avocado not even being ripe... But it was a bookstore than arranged it and I suppose their main goal is to sell books, not paying attention to all those details like making the who event sustainable... -

(at which I got the book above. It's very inspirational, stories on train holidays within Scandinavia, through Europe, to Japan and Russia. And going on holidays by train instead of flying really has a HUGE impact on the environment. Still, it seems to be a long long way until it offers the same comfort and covenient booking system as flying does- And as long as governments and authorities still don't take their responsibility and make train travel the norm and not least maintain the railroads,I fear our need for travelling will continue to have an enormous impact on the planet...)

and then a seminar on making the most of your brand platform. With the best vegan breakfast by far. All vegan and very colourful. Simple as that. Just stop mollycoddling meat-eaters. It won't kill them eating plantbased, in fact quite the opposite.



In the end I didn't get the job I went through three interviews for. But really, the process was great, the feedback was brilliant. And the guy the choose in the end had a very different background than I, less creative, less social media and technical savvy, but more knowledgeable within this very specifical industry. And somehow they thought I would get bored quickly because the job wouldn't be challenging enough. But words like "had it been another company I would have chosen Pia for the job any day of the week!", I went happy and stronger from the process and that's fine, more than fine, by me.

In fact I thought the whole process was so different, professional and respectful, than most of the recruitment processes I've ever been involved in, that I wrote a piece about it on LinkedIn. Which seem to have stroke a cord within the recruitment and HR-industry. It's much nicer to tell a great story about people who know their job, than the frankly, gazillion times they don't. I could write a thesis about HR people and recruiters with zero respect for the candidates and as much professionalism as my thumb. Alas I can only write a small piece on the positive experience, but that is on the other hand much nicer to do. Dare to compliment.



So back to, if not square one, at least another square than I had planned to be on April 1st. Still looking for the perfect job, and my kind of people. I KNOW it's out there, that they are out there. Though in what shape and form remains unknown still. For now I'm tinkering on a reversed job-ad for LinkedIn that I want to have up and running this week.



My mum's birthday is coming up during Easter - and this Wednesday, three years ago M passed away and his birthday would have been on the 19, but instead his funeral was on the 20th, so that might be the reason my mood is swinging from high to low currently... - and I really want to make Easter happy again this year. Let's make Easter great again.

I'm getting her a blue Kånken, which was the first colour she had when I was a child, and we're having vegan brunch. The problem with the blue Kånken though, is that it now comes in almost a gazillion versions. It took me a long time to chose, and far from sure I made the perfect choice I thought we could go back and possibly swap it for another before her birthday so I showed it to her the other day. And as cute as it may be, we will indeed swap it for another type this week.



At my boring bus stop there's a large flower bed that last year was full of purple crocuses in spring that then turned into red tulips. It's just gorgeous and so mood lifting. And no photo can make it justice, but here's a glimpse of the gorgeousness anyway.

I've just finished reading the BulletJournal-book, it took a while since it needs one's full attention. It was great, I could relate to a lot of things, others less. But the main thing is that now I'm ready to start getting real with my own BuJo, and adapt it to my own need and wants and plans. And it will not be an embellished version, I like to keep it simple and effective (hopefully).



The littlest one, Ågot, turned 7 last week. It's hard to believe since she definitely looks like a kitten still. And seven years, how much that have happened during those years..., since she was born with her brothers and I thought she was a boy too.



Theatre isn't usually my cup of cultural tea, it's just too theatrical and I much prefers movies or great TV-series. But when the Royal Dramatic Theatre, which can only be described as a stronghold for patriarchy and too many #metoo stories, had a play called "Guds olydiga revben" (God's disobedient rib), the bible read from a feminist view, which mixed actors and the impressive acrobats from Cirkus Cirkör, one kind of had to go.



So very glad I did. It was magical. Upsetting - since reading the bible from a woman's point of view will never be anything but upsetting obviously - funny, sad and inspiring. So different from anything else I've seen. Cried, laughed and got angry. Unfortunately taking photos was strictly forbidden since it could pose a life danger for the acrobats, but the old interior was a beauty too.

The playhouse is currently also under extra scrutiny from the Arbetsmiljöverket (the Work Environment Administration authority), since there have been too many cries for help from women working there that have been silenced for many many years. There have been several female managers over the years, but it feels like the work culture is so infected that nothing has been done against numerous assaults on female staff by male actors (the so called geniuses).

The last straw was probably a very moving and upsetting Swedish documentary about the much loved singer and actress Josefin Nilsson, who died much too young some years ago, apparently due to aftereffects from years of mentally and physically abuse by one of those "male geniuses" lauded employed by Dramaten. The documentary is still shown at SVT Play (only in Sweden, but I'm sure you can find the story itself in English).

Conclusion, one might live under the illusion that Sweden is a gender equal country (even if the Swedish Academy debacle showed it isn't), but even if it's much better than many other countries, there is still a too long way to go. Humans in general, and in this case, men in particular, should know better in 2019. Much better. So. much. better.



After the play we went to Wagamama, which I used to frequent quite often some years ago. Now not so much, but I always love the food when I do go there. Even if I most always end up with the vegan yasai pad thai and carrot-ginger juice, despite the vegan menu being much extended these days. This time we shared a bowl of edamame, which never disappoints in its simplicity. Unfortunately we ended up so full from the food that neither had room for dessert. Alas. As a great dessert is literally the cherry on the sundae.



But after my annual dentist check-up - which got all thumbs up and the third year in a row without cavities, huzzah! - I did have a gloriously lovely vegan lunch salad which did leave room, just, for dessert. And oh what a dessert it was. Creamy, smooth mango mousse with crumbs and fresh blueberries. So much flavour and very moreish. Very much deserved for being a good dental hygiene girl.



It didn't manage to keep this a short and sweet post, your sniggering was on point. But now, oh now, last but definitely not least, ta-da, behold the very special Pia muesli!



After my one year consumption of mymuesli-prize in 2016 I was rather tired of muesli in general and mymuesli in particular. Go figure. And then the Stockholm store moved to a remote suburb, and later was shut down altogether. So ordering online is the only option. And if you don't want to pay a hefty shipping fee you need to more tubs than you'd necessarily want here and now. Most of my old favourite mueslis have been discontinued alas, plus the completely vegan (no honey) mueslis aren't all that tasty to be honest, but for overnight oats.

But I've found that their porridge oats are pretty great for making just overnight oats. And I noticed their Easter muesli is all vegan this year. So I placed an order a while back. And for the very first time mixed my own mueslis. Which you can name and chose tube design for too. And write a description for.



Which I obviously had to do. I've only tried one of my own blends so far, sprinkled on a lovely overnightoats made from the mymuesli turmeric-orange porridge oats. Perfect crunch and flavour, so pleased to say I did good.

And no, I haven't forgotten I did promise a post of various suggestions for lovely, simple vegan overnightoats. It'll come when you least expect it.



April, you have been just as capricious as one has come to expect with age and a reasonable amount of wisdom, there have already been both tears and laughters, worry and stress, but also inspiration and gratitude, spring flowers and bird song. But can you please, pretty please, be just kind, benevolent and joyous from now on? Many grateful thanks in advance.

the highs and lows of february update

Dear potential clients and companies, please do not get in touch asking about my availability and fees and think I'll be so happy to be asked I'll work for free. The right approach would be to actually a) know your own budget and b) do research the market fees. And by all means never ever get back and say things like "unfortunately we have a very limited budget and we've talked this through and we feel this is something a student can do." That is just utterly offensive, disrespectful and unprofessional.

Freelancing business owners and consultants actually do their jobs as a their living. Free-lancing doesn't mean we work for free, I'm sorry that you've misunderstood that. We have more or less experience within our fields, but we're all professionals and that's what you pay for. So go ahead and let a student do it, and you'll get the result you pay (or not) for. And you know, that besides me never wanting to work with you, that I'll never ever recommend you as a client to someone else, right?

And after all these years, no, firmly no, I am a not a serf just because I decided to go my own way and offering my experience and services via my own business instead of being employed.



Now, that's the most annoying thing that happened last week out of the way - and forever available in writing on the internetz. Here's a close-up glimpse of the gorgeous sheep dress I mentioned in the last post, from Palava. It makes me happy.



Zigne has reluctantly paw approved it, but she still thinks it's such weirdness of all weirdnesses that amongst all the animal prints they've designed there are still no cats visible anywhere. She has even let Palava know about that blatant disrespect for the best animal in the whole wide world.



I'm also happy to report that I managed to make the cold a reasonably short one, with all that ginger, citrus and spices, and it was gone within less than a week. Grateful I am.

I've had the new Marimekko coat out for s spin a few times, and I'm doing my very best to look past its lint-and-cat-hair-magnetic-properties. Apart from that annoying trait it's both practical and cute, and a source for compliments apparently. Which is always nice.



On the subject of compliments. I bought some fragrant necesseties at the Body Shop outlet last week - the Moringa body butter is one of my favourite skincare products ever, sad to hear they'll discontinue the extra large jars - and when I had to give my personal number to the cashier she just exclaimed "I must say you really don't look your age!". Upon which I answered, well thank you so much, it must be for all the fabulous skincare products I use.

Which obviously isn't the whole truth. Thank you genes too. And even if noone can stay completely away from heartache, sorrow and pain in life - and noone should, since it's through them we grow into better, more compassionate people - but most of us can at least take care of ourselves, inside out, eat well and stay away from harmful, toxic substances (and situations) that we are aware of.

Swedes usually make a big deal of having to show their identity card at the Systembolaget, to prove they're over 20 years old. As I never shop at Systembolaget - ie I rarely drink alcohol - that has never happened to me. But really, I'd much rather get a skincare professional in a beauty shop saying I look much younger than my age than a cashier selling alcohol.



I also went to the optician last week, and decided on a couple of new glasses so I could finally have sunglass clip-ons. Unfortunately the pair I tried on a while back was sold out at the moment - and here's I thinking I'm so unique, when half of Stockholm apparently chose the same frames, bah - so I chose others. But hopefully these frames will be back in stock soon.

After finding my beloved dotty glasses in 2011 I've never looked back at contact lenses again. I've sadly never found anything similar in frames as those, but I have enjoyed most of my glasses a lot anyway. It's difficult to imagine myself without glasses, they're so much me, a style statement I suppose.

But when the optician asked if I wanted to try on lenses to make it easier to chose frames I said yes. It was such a weird situation, to be able to see so well and not having to watch the world through spectacles. Unfortunately, despite what the Body Shop cashier said, the age apparently show when I wear lenses, I get long-sighted and can't read and write properly close up. Photos and photo editing is just a blur. Thus I'd need reading glasses to have contact lenses. Which was a bit of a shocker actually. Who knew it would be so much easier to just wear glasses?

Still thinking of having a box of lenses available anyway, to wear with all my old sunglasses I never can wear these days (since I'm blind as a bat without my glasses/prescription sunglasses).



Have also had my first lovely semla of the year - from Bagar'n Hornstull, a bakery that have a lot of vegan buns and pastries. The funny thing is that the bakery, situated close to the underground station Hornstull, was around even before I was born. My family lived in that neighbourhood when I was a kid and I remember we shopped breads and buns there even then. 



And I got to meet the army of cuteness and kindness. Pug Baron and labrador Mynta. We could all sleep safely if that was the only army around.





Was reminded that today was the day we were forced to say the final farewell to beloved Little Loaf. An exceptional little character. And since my every attempt so far to welcome a new doggie to this house have been unsuccessful, perhaps he was the one and only woof for me. Well, what's meant to be will be, but you can't help but wonder...



As you might have noticed by the pictures already, the snow and ice have basically melted already and very quickly. Spring is very much in the air, which is quite scary on these latitudes. Much too soon, as in 1-2 months too soon. As much as one usually looks forward to spring and the absence of dark evenings, ice and snow, after last year's horrific hot and exhausting, and all the wild fires, summer I'm seriously afraid of how things will look this year. Climate change moves faster than ever, and the growth is exponential.

And with that in mind everyone should be afraid, seriously worried, demand change and not least change themselves. Yet, so little is done - apart from the amazing school strikes #fridaysforfuture started by the inspirational, smart Greta of course - it is truly heartbreaking.



Then clever copywriting and advertising like this makes me happy. "Have the balls to make the world a better place" by Swedish Stockholm-based vegan family company Vegme - that makes excellent plantbased protein for the present and the future.



A pun is never wrong, in my opinion. And even better when it's actually a tasty pun that can save many innocent lives.



Talking about tasty food that saves lives, I finally attended a much talked about vegan brunch yesterday at the Radisson Blu Royal Park Hotel in Stockholm, suburb Solna. It was great, with a few kinks, and I was really impressed about all that was offered, the inventiveness and ambition of the weekly plantbased event.

I'll share more views and photos of the food in a post of its own - which it certainly deserves! - later this week. For now - a post-vegan-brunch-coma-wefie, with my friend aka Sporty Spice in animal rights garment "Always on the side of the animals" and me in Marimekko, but no less on the side of the animals.



And, February dearie, more goody goody goodness my way, m'kay?
A plethora of gratitude in advance.

february so far

Dear Blog, it has been two years since a cold, so I guess I shouldn't complain that one has graced me with its present again. And since I stuffed myself full of ginger, citrus, chili, garlic and various hot drinks since Tuesday (since I had a meeting on Thursday I really really didn't want to miss) I'm through the worst (touch wood) quicker than usual, hooray!



So glad I stumbled over these favourite German ginger herb coughdrops in a health food store last month, I've ate a lot of them this past week, and alongside ginger tea and ginger shots they have worked wonder.



How about the rest of February on these latitudes then? Well, the main thing is probably the crazy, capricious winter weather. Global warming certainly has many unpleasant faces and now we've had the scary ice followed by heaps of snow, and then rain. Which turned public transport, roads and streets into havoc for a few days. Buses getting stuck and sliding (and with buses in Stockholm for some mad mad reason not being equipped with winter tires on all tires, you can imagine the scenes...), cars too. The public preparation for this kind of weather, that will only get worse and the new "normal" is very very poor in Stockholm. It shouldn't be a surprise for anyone, but it obviously is.



This is the first year I've bought and worn spikes on my boots, and I have to say I don't know how I've managed these past 5-6 winters without them. Brilliant on scary scary ice they are. Unfortunately the ice gripper design lacks a bit, thus I've lost them three times in a couple of weeks, but managed to retrace my steps and found them. Which obviously won't be the case every time it happens, and they're to expensive to keep buying again and again. So I got a pair of better designed heel grippers too. Which are also much easier to remove when your indoors or on snow-free streets.



But most important of all, I did succumbed and got a pair of Swedish Icebug boots (which obviously are designed for Scandinavian weather, that's more than you can say for most shoes and boots designed and made in quite different weather alas...). It's such a pity and nuiscance they *had to* add that suede part on the boots, it serves absolutely no purpose as the boots are perfectly weather proofed without it. And most of their shoes and boots are accidently vegan anyway.

But this was the only model that fitted my needs, and I chose safety over my non-leather values. So many recommendations from friends, and also my physical therapist. Have only worn them a couple of times so far, but they are very comfortable, warm and feels very sturdy on these treacherous streets.

Given the persistent raining these past days though, which has washed away a substantial part of both snow and ice, I'm not sure when I'll desperately need the Icebugs next. Ah well, they're here and at my beckoning when needed.



It was *a bit* of a mess with the delivery company Budbee - which I'd only had great things to say about before - which delivered them though. I followed the delivery in real time and when I saw they had stopped at the parking lot I went out to get the package. But before the driver turned up I got a notification that my package had been delivered. And the only reaction was obviously WTF?! No phone number, but their chat was opened and I was so angry, where were my rather expensive, pre-paid and necessary boots?

Ten minutes later there was a knock at the door and two women living two streets down also at a number 3 turned up with my package. Which I'm ever so grateful for. Because they could have just as easily been lost or the wrong recipient not been home. (Also I specifically told Budbee not to leave the package outside the door...). It's pretty basic knowledge for a delivery driver to know the maps and be certain s/he delivers to the right address imho.

I'm expecting another package from them next week. I do hope they will do better. *Insert rolling eyes* (Which is probably my most used emoji alas.)



On the subject of annoying things, my new iPhone, which I only got in September/October -

and what a mess that was before we managed to sort out the previous subscription, get the right phone for the right price, iCloud, installing... And it was the week after I broke my arm too. Exhausting it was. And infuriating, I don't think I've written about this before but at a couple of pints I was so angry and the stupidity of it all and my own shortcomings (I'm glad I'm stubborn) that I just screamed and hit things when I put down the phone after talking with the customer "service" -

is acting up. Both the keypad and the camera and other things here and there. It obviously needs fixing, but seriously, most of us have a good portion of our lives in our smartphones and we also need them for our works. How will that work? Of course, I did survive the stolen iphone in 2013... An unwanted digital detox one might say. But one does expect a rather expensive thing to work flawlessly more than 4 months though.



On the subject of work, I did have a pretty great job interview last week. For what seems like a great company with focus on sustainability. Fingers crossed I'll be one of the four that get called to a second interview next week. I felt we were a great match, hope the recruiter felt that too. Though obviously you never know who you are up against of course. What is meant to be will be, as always.



Post-interview I. With the obligatory ginger herb cough drop. Accidently all kitted in Marimekko. Or perhaps, dressed for happiness success.

I was also emailed by another great company, within the health and sustainability sector, about a copy project gig. After I had posted about one of their products on Instagram they'd apparently kindly stalked me online and contacted me. That made me very happy. I hope we can agree on the details, it would be such an interesting, fun and special gig.



On the topic of health, I've enjoyed eating overnight oats and chia puddings in cafes, but it's not until 2019 I've begun making my own versions. They've all been lovely. And I'll share some suggestions for ingredients in a post of its own to come. And yes, crunchy peanutbutter is a delightful part of it, not to be missed.



On food. I've come to realize how convenient and stress-free it is to order online and get home delivery. You can get most of the heavy stuff that's a nuisance to drag along on the bus or schedule a carpooling for, delivered to the door. Which is a relief concidering my arm in rehab as well as the treacherous roads now.

One of the things I've finally had the time to eat via this delivery is the Swedish frozen vegan pizzas from Oumph. Which turned out to be just lovely, the dough is fantastic and the flavour/texture is great. teamed up with a nice salad it's such a treat for dinner.

For you living in the UK, if you haven't tried the plantbased Oumph products yet, you really should asap. You won't be disappointed.



About the UK. Remember my fabulous budgie skirt? And the grand sausage dog cardigan? I now have a fantastic sheep dress from Palava too. Organic cotton in a snazzy 1950ies model, quite unlike anything else that I have and I was a bit catious in ordering something as fitted as that (never mind measuring carefully and talking with the customer services about the sizes). But it was such a great fit when it arrived!

Haven't taken a photo of it yet, the snow rained away before I had a chance to make a dreamy capture of it, but trust me, cuteness galore. And so perfect with my favourite old applegreen shoes. When spring comes. (Seems awfully far away currently, but I fear it will be as short as last year and another devastatingly hot summer will follow...)

So instead of sheep dress, the above picture is of a sweet handmade necklace from Palava too, which I got on sale. Squirrels and acorn - which is one of my favourite things also in bobbaloo shape - how adorable is that? (Photo taken by a friend.)



Something else I got for spring, hair colours. Or specifically vegan colour refreshers from Swedish brand Maria Nila - which has fantastic haircare products I highly recommend, all vegan - hair masques which colour that lasts 4-10 washes. I've been wanting to colour my hair pink or green for years, but I've never felt like bleaching my hair to get that perfectly pink effect. As I've struggle enough to accept the natural greys...

But now I thought maybe those greys can work to my colour advantage. And the worst thing that can happen is that there'll be no real colour visibility but I've only had a good nourishing hair masque. When the woolly hats and caps come off I'll have a go at these bottles.



Currently though, life is as much as possible snuggles with these inspirational beings, whose new favourite sleeping arrangements - despite their new luxurious bed - is various versions of this. One corner of the sofa is reluctantly left for me. And many cups of tea and other warm beverages - hello  golden mylk, beetroot latte and vegan hot cocoa with whipped cream and plantbased marshmallows... - while watching TV or reading books.



My favourite TV crush right now is the addictive Australian drama "A place to call home". Strong characters, great actors (and stylish costumes). I discovered it by chance on SVT Play before Christmas and was hooked after a couple of episodes. Now watching season four - previous seasons still available on Play in Sweden - I'll be sad when the final season six will have be shown. It gets all thumbs and paws up for well worth watching.



Oh, February, you've been such an interesting mix of highs and lows and learning experiences so far, let's keep up the good work and make it an epically fabulastic month, okey?