welcome april, bye march 2022

 

On April 1 2022 this was not what I expected. But there you are. In line with what 2022 has offered so far. 

(I remember we had snow in May when I was a kid, so I’m not saying capricious weather always is linked to the human induced climate change, but it would be nice not to see this backlash now after a couple of weeks with +10C and April arriving…)

So, March. It has been a really really weird month, yes some good things happened but also some really really bad ones, or just one, a very big one, in particular. It has taken me by surprise, shaken me to the core, the absurdity, the violation of the innermost me and my values, the total unprofessionalism, it is nothing short of a real life Twilight Zone situation. It’s nauesating, infuriating, sick and insane. Is it even legal? Yes, I could go on and on, but it is not over yet, so I will leave it at that for now. Needless to say it has overshadowed the whole month.

I have experienced my fair share of absurdities and awful human behaviours before (haven’t we all…?) but this really win first prize in my book. Something quite like this has never happened previously, and just because it is so completely bizarre, and scary, and incredibly stressful, it has been difficult to appreciate the small things and the much much needed pockets of joy in March. 

And of course everything may pale in comparison with the horrific Russian invasion of Ukraine. Two peas in a mad pod, the crazy orange guy in the west and the little pale one in the east. Seriously, what is wrong with men and their inferiority complex and illusions of grandeur? 

It’s 2022 and the world is burning, we literally have a climate emergency, the ice caps have melted, tipping point by tipping point will be reached much much sooner that expected - and then some weird little pathetic dictator think the best thing to do is to start a war commiting countless of atrocities and war crimes within weeks alone. 

Can’t say I’m terribly impressed by the actions from the rest of the world’s democratic politicians either (including Sweden’s). The continuation of fueling the dictator’s war with dirty oil and gas money. And the gobsmacking ignorance of people in general (especially people with cars) expecting nothing to change, that it is always someone else who should pick up the bill and the pieces. 

When we will all have to pay a price, quite possibly a much higher one the longer we wait for a green shift to automagically happen. The spoilt brat syndrome of our western world. It’s sickening and embarrassing.

So apart from the world crisis on the brink of World War III, the climate emergency as well as my own private little hell to deal with, what have been the little pockets of treasured joys this past month then?

Well, enjoying perky Snag tights with shoes for warmer weather, vegan cooking, and baking (there may be a recipe or two appearing soon). Met up with a woman I briefly worked with a few years back and got to see her lovely art in person. It was amazing and inspiring!

Unfortunately I picked the day when the commuter train system collapsed (again) and I ended up stuck waiting on a station for three hours for a train. This was my face when I finally got home after nearly five hours (had everything ran as usual that journey would gave taken 1 hour and 15 minutes door to door).

And yes, that is a middle finger to the usual lack of communication and problem solving skills from SL (the local Stockholm public transport) that day. This is certainly a case of things used to be so much better in the good old days.

Weather slowly turning into spring (until now).

Spending time with my own two little lovable fluffy weirdos, and a couple of fun job projects (but no, still no dream job caught, or my kind of people met).

Books read, but so far none wow of 2022. 

I haven’t found any new wow-series on Netflix (after Dark) but I have almost binge watched all six seasons of Queer Eye. Used to enjoy the original series a lot, and I didn’t like this new one at first but the gang grew on me and now I found them great and in fact much better than the originals. Skipped all the animal eating focused episodes, loved the climate activist and animal sanctuary-episodes the most (obviously). Found the episodes in Japan dispiriting, sad and zero relatable. Watched the German version too, but I find it so theatrical and odd, one would have thought it would be easier to relate to Germans in need of Fab 5’s intervention but apparently not.

Welcome April, I am in desperate need of kindness, reason, less stress and more help from the Universe, new healthy change and purpose, amazing heartfelt beginnings and a lot of relaxation and relief. I’m really really REALLY hoping you will help with that April, please? 

PS Thanks for all the lessons March, it has been rough and bumpy ride. Still not sure why you felt the need to do teach me all that, maybe one day I will… DS

hello march 2021, welcome hope springs

March, the first month of spring has finally sprung on these latitudes! 

Though it’s just global warming madness that it was -10 degrees C one week and close to +10 C one week later. And we are so far away from reaching the 2030 sustainability goals. And too few people are willing to change their behaviour on their own, their own convenience trumps everything - and the world remains on fire. Every day is climate angst.

But in the here and personal now I have to admit I’m grateful for not having to deal with the freezing indoors situation we’ve been struggling with for nearly two months now. My electricity has been faulty for so long now, and the old heat pump is basically my only source of heat. It has not been pleasant. And my little furry posse deserves better in their old age too. 

But the catch 22 is, we’re in the middle of a pandemic hence I would never ever let some handyman in to look at whatever problems need fixing right now. And if the pandemic wasn’t an issue finances still are. 

I’m so looking forward to the day when I’ll be able to finally get things looked after on my little red house again. To be able to worry less, and feel more joy. Surely that’s not an awful lot to ask for, Universe?

I’m trying to be as kind as possible to myself now, I desperately need that after finishing the project managing of Vegoforum in mid February, stressing about money, being dispirited by the fact that my search for the dream job still remains in vain. And on top of that, not feeling like my usual self and strongly suspecting that what I thought was a heavy cold/flu in March/April 2020 was in fact Covid-19.

As I never took a covid-test when it was first made available last year, it will probably not show any signs of antibodies 11 months later if I take a test now. Still, gotta start somewhere, and I have a doctor’s appointment this week. A new health center within walking distance, so I have no idea about the doctors or the quality of health care. But at least it’s close and that kind of trumps everything these days, in a restricted pandemic life.

Being kind to myself also means reading as much as possible. I’m so grateful that despite suffering from brain fog and memory issues I’m able to read and enjoy books. This heap is library books only. At the moment I try to go there once a week to return and borrow books. In our current limited life that’s one little regular outing that brings me joy.

I’m attending a live online book club with Elizabeth Gilbert on March 30, so I need to finish my own copy of ’City of girls’ before that date too. 

Another thing I’ve noticed during this pandemic life is that my dreams are very vivid, intricate and laboursome. With an extremly limited life every little detail in books, TV, social media, chats, tiny interactions with people are brought into crazy life in my dreams. 

I’ve read about pandemic dreams (nightmares) and that we are many suffering from them. Though I can’t say I find them terrifying, but very exhausting as it feels there’s a whole other life that demands a lof of energy and gusto in my head while I sleep. I’m never really thoroughly rested when I wake up in the morning. 

Another thing I enjoy a lot now too, is the fact that I’m finally able to wear shoes and perky socks again. After months of icebug boots only, it’s such a relief! 

I’m thinking I should set up a little weekly shoe plan so I make sure I use my shoedrobe much better. And challenge myself to wear more heels regularly. Also a way to exercise different muscle groups. 

These days the littlest things matter more than ever I think.

 

I force myself to smile more, fake it til you nake it style, but it doesn’t come naturally as it used to. I’m planning to colour rinse my hair pink again for spring. As I feel tired and grey inside out now, I felt that could be a little welcome moodlifter. 

I’m continuing to search for that illusive dream job where passion meets purpose (communications manager for preferably a plantbased brand, but as long as it’s a company dedicated to sustainability I’m happy).

As freelancing via my own business really doesn’t give me the joy, growth and positive challenge it used to (never did I feel I would grow weary and tired of it, I mean, being your own boss, awesome, right?) I don’t feel it’s the viable option it should be in these times.

But as that dream quest is dispiritingly difficult (and it really really shouldn’t be!), I’m also looking at other reasonable jobs in line with my skills and experience. We all need to pay the bills, without completely selling our souls. 

Please, March, I’ve been asking your monthly family the same thing for a long time now, mostly in vain alas, but could you please bring positive vibes, joyous news and much needed new beginnings?! One year in limbo is quite enough me thinks. Thanks ever so much in hopeful advance. 

goodbye sweet october, hello november

 

Another small, restricted month in a world where the new normal is abnormal is over. My month. October, that both begun and ended with a blue full moon A month when nature offers a bonanza of sparkling colours, in a very much less sparkling world.  

If I was religious I'd say that Armageddon is upon us. As I am an atheist, I'd say that Armageddon is upon us. Every day something new and scary, nature showing its full force (human induced obviously) or mankind rearing its absolutely ugliest head full of hate and completely void of sanity, intelligence,  kindness and compassion.

It is really really REALLY very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel now, wouldn't you agree? 

I loved the positive vegan vibes, the innovative ideas, the entrepreneurial force of the Vegoforum last Saturday. It was both exhausting, infuriating and uplifting to plan the event. One day I may write more of what aspects were exhausting, infuriating and uplifting with it. But I'm doing my best to keep this monthly roundup post short-ish. So let's leave it at that for now. I'm already working with the two last forums for the year. Had a Friyay feeling about it last evening, so I worked late and felt very inspired. 

It's been quite consuming of mind and time, and to be honest I haven't been able to study as diligently as I had planned on with the Sustainability Science class alas. The exams will be an home essay (of which we have no details yet) that we have to hand in on December 20th at the latest. The last forum is on December 5th, then I have two weeks to really dig in on that essay. We have four optional quizzes before that, which counts for 20% of the grades. I've done one, and was pretty shocked about the results as it seems I've misconstrued quite a bit. A few of my replies were quite the opposite to the correct ones, which seems weird. But there you are. The focus need to be the essay.

On a personal level, during these extraordinary circumstances times for us all, well at least for us who aren't cavalier and take responsibility for how we behave and act, I think October has been a pretty good month for me.

Despite the ups and downs with the Vegoforum planning and executing it has also been a good thing to keep my wandering mind off worries, unhappiness and sorrows. To just focus in the now and then enjoy the walks, the fikas, running small errands, buying, cooking and eating good food. And of course, having intelligent conversations with the cats. One desperately has to concentrate on what can be done and enjoyed, and not the enormity of all the things one miss. One day at a time. And hey, say buy to another week. Another month. Seven and a half months, people, seven. and. a. half. months. And most likely at least as long before we can possibly, perhaps, maybe can get back to something similar to what used to be normal. See, I'm not very hopeful. 

Accepting and adjusting to how things are, sacrificing and coping, those aren't really mindsets who put you in the best of hopeful or positive moods. Yes, I've learnt a lot these months, of which I'm grateful for, but jeez, living in limbo, some sort of forced half life is rough on both body and mind. 

I did trip and fall at the beginning of the month (as seems to be my new annual tradition that time of the year). My left knee has been pretty sore on and off for the rest of the month, and both my wrists were for the first week or so. The reason for tripping, no obvious one at all. On rare yet regular occasions I'm clumsy and have been so since I was a kid. But the older one gets, the scarier it is, a broken arm due to slipping on a cat vomit isn't all that fun so I'm trying to be extra cautious all the time these days, to avoid situations like that. Yet, they happen anyway.

I haven't had much time to read books during October. But somehow I seem to be on the right track with my 55 books 2020 challenge anyway. I now need to finish 16 books before December 31st to reach that goal. Think I can do it?

Even if I most certainly don't relish the notion of being a year older (but we have already decided that 2020 doesn't count right?), I did enjoy the quiet birthday celebrations a lot. I also got myself a very orange tunic/dress - I though it would look snazzy and stylish, but albeit lovely it does confirm my granny toddler style. Embrace and flaunt it. Or maybe, possibly not wear the tunic with a pair of old cat leggings? (Suitable for a not so crazy cat lady.)

I got some lovely old, never used embroidered by my grandma cotton sheets and two old Maria Lang-books (as I've mentioned earlier I want to collect all of her books, 45ish of them), now I have 15. In times where you can't visit thrift stores or second hand book shops that's tricky. Of course you can get them online, but it's difficult to find a bunch of them from the same seller, and then you end up having to pay a lot of postage from several seller instead. No fun. Loved that she recently happened to get these books from a friend of hers (Malte the pug's old mum, who happened to be a librarian before she retired), read them, then gave them to me.

2020 was also the year I finally unsubscribed to the regular phone line. Most people just use their mobiles these days, but I'm not all that comfortable with just a smartphone and no other means of communicating in an emergency etc. So I've kept the phone subscription as a security measure, even if I still used the smartphone 99% of the time. Which means I've paid a hefty price for something I'm not really using, haven't used for these past couple of years.

First I planned to unsubscribe and get a cheaper provider, but then I couldn't be bothered. It's better to get another cheap and basic mobile phone as a backup instead. Now I'm thinking of upgrading my iPhone, in an ideal world something this expensive and also not very sustainably produced (but oh so good for working and photography), would last for at least 10 years. Which obviously is pure dreaming. My iPhone is 2,5 years, and it's slowing down and acting up a bit lately. A nuisance. But hopefully I can keep it as my backup phone, instead of selling it. 

Though as life isn't what it used to be (duh) the project of getting a new one, but not being able to go into a store and talk with an actual real life person and getting technical help etc, also seems quite overwhelming. I always have a screen shield on my phones, I can't understand people who don't, and they're so tricky to attach it's easier to get the store do it. Dread doing it myself. Ah well, one step at a time. Spending precious energy and time worrying about this is useless.  

I have two other technical issues that annoys the heck out of me, firstly the Swedish television broadcast not being analogue anymore which means that of you don't have a TV younger than born in 2009 you're either forced (if you think you need a TV) to get a new one altogether or buy an additional digital box. I helped my mother with getting a brand new TV in September and managed to install it myself, first time ever, and I'm quite impressed by and proud of myself for doing it. The manual wasn't very good (understatement) but I'm persistent enough to keep at it until I've figured it out. A little victory for September.

Myself I've so far settled for watching TV via the Apple TV, not all regular channels, but the most basic ones can be watched that way. I also have free subscription for a cable channel for a year, which has a lot of movies, TV-series and documentaries. Somehow it's quite liberating to more actively chose what to watch this way. Unfortunately, after watching some great series and movies initially I now have high standards for what I what to spend time watching and most options quickly fall flat. So many rubbish, generic, ridiculous series and movies out there. 

Second nuisance is the fact that for some crazy reason the community association (97 properties in my hoods) voted for installing fiber network in our neighbourhood, despite only about 30 houses had signed up for it. An overwhelming majority had not. Yet they managed to get a go ahead. And begun working two weeks ago, streets, parts of flower beds and shrubs have been mauled and they have yet to restore as promised. The sales tactics from the internet company  (with a very questionable reputation) have been quite aggressive too. They're suppose to finish the extensive work next week. And then we can all enjoy the damage they've caused the whole neighbourhood for the questionable benefit of about 30% of the residents.  

Well, this post wasn't as short and sort of sweet as I planned. I might as well have written more extensive about the exhausting, infuriating and uplifting to planning of the Vegoforum event. But one done, two more to go. There will be a perfect time to write a summary about the ups and downs once those are done.

Thank you October, my friend, you were pretty and you behaved overall benevolently. You were quite enjoyable, despite the circumstances. I'm grateful for that, sweetie.

November, I know your general reputation is dull and dark, uninspiring and overburdening. Shall we not agree on changing that this year of many many burdens already? Okay? Agreed!

And to friends and readers across the pond, VOTE VOTE VOTE. Please put a firm and active stop to this mayhem and madness that has been allowed to pervert and deeply stained the very idea of decency and democracy for these past four years. You need to heal your country. We all need to heal the world. Together.

goodbye summer, hello autumn 2020

Or bye August, hello September.

I can't say August filled me with joy and gratitude of the happy things I wished and hoped and worked for. I may have planted some seeds, who knows. But all and all, another disappointing month from my viewpoint alas.

I can only hope I planted some important seeds that will grow into a fantastic bloom asap.

The lovely thing was that I did get a phone call regarding the job I had most wished for, for a so-call-pre-interview-meeting. Scheduled for Thursday. It felt like the digital meeting went reasonably well (as it is darn difficult to tell from poor connections with basically zero visibility of facial expressions and body languages). As it is now 1,5 weeks since, I admittedly don't have any hopes of another interview. Which is unfortunate, since I was a great match and it was a very interesting position with great potentials for positive impacts and growth.

When it was a job I was very keen on (as this one) I used to follow up myself after the meeting/interview, but I don't do that anymore. It's simply a waste of my time, and I haven't been able to convince them of my awesomeness via my application, our conversation, the meeting and every other little detail you can find out via googling, there's nothing more I can do. They've decided to go another way. And my time is too precious to spend thinking and hassling with things and situations I can't change.

If you can't change it, let it go.

Somewhere out there there MUST be a company and organisation that click with me. However truly dispiriting things feel currently. And as far as I'm concerned have felt for much too long now. This is just ridiculous. What do you want from me Universe??

So far I haven't really been able to keep to my fake it 'til you make it plan...



But as for the things I do have enjoyed and felt energized by in my small world in the latter half of August, these are as follows.

The drive in/walk in cinema evenings were really nice. But for another heatwave that week, it would have been better if the movies had begun an hour later since the sun on the screen wasn't the best combo. But of course that's nothing you can really plan for.

Also, it's common sense really, that you don't bring toddlers to a movie and let then run around screaming while you as parents couldn't care less and you yourselves continue with a loud conversations while you all disturb the rest of the audience. There are idiots everywhere.

And even more so post- and during corona I'd say. Why isn't corona-madness a concept wildly discussed yet? Every day there's more and more proofs that it is a real thing.

The movies, Jumanji: The Next Level and Peanut Butter Falcon were both unpretentiously entertaining, however not something I'd been happy to pay for. If I'm honest. The older you get, the more movies you have in your luggage, the more discerning you get.



And somehow, the best thing about those outdoor movie evenings, were the walks home on warm summer evenings with crickets singing everywhere.

As far as the Know Thyself-philosophy course, that honestly annoyed me more than it delighted me. Well I finished that course, got my certificate. And decided, after all, to continue with the second one I'd already paid for. I felt it was interesting enough, concentrating on the Unconscious. I'm now in week 4 and I hope to get another certificate by the end of the week.

Slightly better, and yes interesting in some ways of course, than the initial course, but not really something I'd recommend. It's such a deep and wide subject, it deserves more time and work, and a professor that doesn't mumble rush through the classes. Also some proof-reading wouldn't go amiss.

Tomorrow my Sustainability Science class will begin - which will last until the end of December, at 25% part time. It'll be interesting to see how that'll be! Only digital this year.



This, my friends, is a magnificent piece. A vegan bake book, almost 450 pages of recipes and information on how to make, bake, create the perfect vegan cakes, cookies and pastries without harming animals or our planet.

The writer/baker, Karolina Tegelaar, has written several cook/bake books before this one (I haven't got any of them), but the most amazing thing with this one is that she's written it during 10 (!) years of trial and error baking herself through the pastries so we don't have to. With the motto "You should never settle for less that a perfect vegan cake".

As there's a lot of aquafaba involved in the recipes, I guess you must be terribly keen on making hummus (or any other chickpea dish) regularly if you plan to bake often and lost from Vegansk bakning. Myself I'm planning to start with something small.

And as I haven't had a food processor since 2017, I haven't baked any buns and breads since, and I can only bake cakes and cookies as things are now.

The pictures are lovely too. And the cover design obviously appeal to me, big time.



And on the subject of vegan pastries. This chocolate cake at the newly opened enjoyable cafe is vegan. And surprisingly lovely at that.

However, we were shocked to learn at our visit last week, that the almond hook they said were vegan is not. They contain egg white and has never been vegan. As I know that two staff people (of which one is one of the owners) have said it was vegan, and I've obviously asked very clearly, I'm really very annoyed by this. Had either of us been allergic to eggs it could have had devastating consequences.

Needless to say it's very unprofessional to run a food business where the staff doesn't know the ingredients of what they're selling.

And yes I have offered my services when it comes to the poor vegan selection and now obviously their ignorance. They have not bothered to get in contact.

So beware if you visit Petjo's cafe, if you're vegan, or allergic to any ingredients, you can't be really sure about what the staff claims. Disappointing but true.

They're also opening a bakery shortly, and you know how I miss my favourite city bakeries and their sourdough breads. However my giddy anticipation has faded somewhat after this incident.

The book in the picture, is a very interesting one on the right-wing racist part Sweden democrats (Sverigedemokraterna) and  social media campaigns with links to the Trump-strategy, Sverigevänner (Friends of Sweden, like those cohorts like to call themselves) by Swedish journalist Jonathan Lundberg. It's not exactly a book that fills you with inspiration and joy over the human kind and its intelligence. But alas, not every important read is.

These are indeed dark times, on so many levels and more than ever, we should keep ourselves informed. As well as be the change working against these dark forces in whatever little way we are able to.



On the brighter side of books, I highly recommend this one on Shinrin-yoku aka forest bathing, by Dr Qing Li. Did you know that 2/3 of Japan is covered by forest at the same time that the country is one of the most densely populated in the world?

It's an easy read, full of interesting facts on nature, health, well-being and research. Plus tips on how to incorporate forest-bathing as a routine in your daily life. Even if I think it's very difficult for most of us to do that 3 hours per day... But 30 minutes - 1 hour is better than nothing.



I'm trying my best to get back on track with my 55 books goal for 2020, but I'm still 7 books behind and I have 25 left to finish in order to reach the goal. I'm very good at starting new books, not equally good at finishing them all. As I like to stretch my brain with an eclectic mix, some of them get to be a bit heavy and uninteresting after a while, and the reading gets slowed down.

And to be honest, there are very few books that draw you in from page one and you just can't stop reading. They might still be good, just not enthrallingly good.

I've just started reading this one, and it's truly unique. Monster i terapi (Monster in therapy), by Jenny Jägerfeld and Mats Strandberg, is about four famous monsters in literature being subjected to modern therapy in current society. A fascinating read indeed. before corona hit I was about to attend a writer's talk with Mats Strandberg, and had looked forward to getting some of his books signed (he's an excellent horror writer), but alas it was cancelled. Hopefully there will be a day when real life gatherings of many is possible again...



One of my favourite shops in Stockholm, Krabat 53, was one of the victims of corona, and they had to close down last month. It was such a lovely, quirky, colourful gift shop and most of all it was the place where I got my regular Sonny Angel-fix. Aka the building blocks for my small Japanese nude boy angel dolls-collection.

As I'm not keen at all on paying for them in blind boxes - at the risk of getting a gazillion duplicates - I'll not continue to be the reasonably avid collector I've been for some years now. It'll be a rare treat to get one now and then, as my favourite provider is no more.

But there you are, and obviously there're better things to put your money on.



After the second heatwave of this weird summer 2020, we've experienced much welcomed rains. And rather distinctly cooler weather, too cool for late August, but as nothing is what normal used to be before climate change, one can only accept and deal with it. Even if I'd loved to wear happy summer dresses for some more weeks still.



Slowfashion, OOTD of the week and shoe per diem:

Dress and calf tote, Marimekko
Vegan sneakers, Adidas
Re-Kånken, Fjällräven

(what do you call a selfie in a library elevator?)

Farewell, August, I had so much more hope for you, I won't lie, you've left me sad and disappointed despite some glimmers of beauty and sprinkles of joy.

Welcome, September, will you be my sweetheart, pretty please? I desperately need sparks of progress and positive momentum galore.

know thyself and fake it til' you make it

:: If I had gotten a €$£ for every time over the years I’d thought I would have been a more fulfilled person if I’d studied philosophy/psychology instead of law, then I’d probably be a multi-millionaire.

But IF the grass is greener on the other side, that is one eternal question. The choices we make and the choices we made, and the paths we took and take, were the ones we were suppose to take at the time. So it’s absolutely useless to dwell on that in hindsight obviously. 

Still. So much time to think that these past 6 (!) months without new meetings, insights, inspiration and memories have brought, so much soul searching, introspection, old memories coming to new life, frustration, sadness as well as small moments of joy to savour.

That said, in awaiting of the  Sustainability Science - described as "examining the interactions between human, environmental, and engineered systems to understand and contribute to solutions for complex challenges that threaten the future of humanity and the integrity of the life support systems of the planet, such as climate change, biodiversity loss, pollution and land and water degradation." -

course that starts on the last shivering day of summer  in a couple of weeks, I’m now taking a couple of philosophy courses - Know Thyself, at Edinburgh University/Coursera. Absolutely loved it after week 1 (Socrates, Plato and the likes resonates easily with me). 

But week 2 started to annoy me. Because unlike the great The Science of Well-Being course in spring at Yale/Coursera, which I truly loved and learnt a lot from, the American professor has a forced, mumbling and fast way of talking. With a complicated subject and a lot of philosophical concepts which probably take years to fully grasp, but which the course is trying to cram into 4 weeks (jeez!), that's not a satisfying learning experience.

The only thing I enjoyed with Descartes is that he apparently liked to stay in bed all day and think (one of my favourite things too). Other than that, I have to say I find him to be more than a bit of twit and very full of himself.

I'm now into week 4, and things are picking up somewhat - What is the the concept of Human Nature etc. I'm hoping to take my certificate this week.

Unfortunately I didn't get that the full course is in fact made of three different courses, not depending on each other, so I made the mistake of signing up to part II before I realised it was a part I. And as I had no doubt that it would be another great learning experience, I thought it would be better to read them chronologically. I am now annoyed at myself (though more annoyed at the poor quality of the course, or well, at least lower than I expected from it). 

I'm not exactly looking forward to another class with the same setup and same professor (who seems like a likable and knowledgeable guy irl, just not really inspiring or enjoyable via online learning). I'm not sure one can get the payment transferred to another course, but I'll look into that. Otherwise I'll do it, as not to waste my fees.

One strong conclusion I've come to after these philosophy studying weeks, is that I'm less philosophy inclined than I thought. Law suited me better after all. Or I've just not really come across "my kind of philosophers" yet. Well, apart from Socrates and Plato. Another proof that you always are and do what you're suppose to be and do.

:: Another thing I've realised so far this month - which basically is just a continuation of everything in life coming to a halt since corona, and my last post in June - and despite all the high hopes, faith and trust for August, 

is that this extremely limited, restricted, trapped small life of the past 6 months, with all its worries and stress constantly building up, is really really getting a bit too much now. 

Some days may be better, when it’s easier to savour the good things, acknowledge gratitude, breath fully and feel reasonably hopeful. The other days are honestly pretty sh*t. 

.

And *looking forward* to at least another six more months of restrictions in Sweden (work from home and stay off public transport). Not exactly reeling with joy. 

I’m also convinced there are so so many people out there feeling like this. But we don’t talk much about it, do we? 

On the news the other day they talked about suicide prevention-lines and other volunteer organisations have been overwhelmed with calls from people feeling depressed, lonely and having financial worries (lots of them elderly that are feeling isolated). They need to be get more public funds to manage this. As an example one organisation alone used to work with 30 volunteers, now they nee to be at least 300 to cope with all the distress calls.

It makes me truly sick with all the financial support that go into companies (without any real sustainability demands tied to them) and not people. That there's so much talk about getting back to *normal* and business as usual, hail consumerism. When we are all to aware that is exactly what got us here in the first place. We desperately need to build new and better. Stop eating meat. Stop pleasure flying. Stop depending on fossil fuel. Stop shopping like we used to. Stop being so bl**dy selfish. Slow down. Think. Act. Be brave. And compassionate.

:: And I finally got the palaver Palava facemasks. The fabric is pretty - and I get that when they're made of fabric scraps you can't expect the patterns to be perfectly matched. One should always chose one colour or a tighter pattern to get that - but I have to say that the design itself is lacking. They're too loose, too large. And if you can only chose from child, women, men with no measurements but a one size fits all-concept I guess this is what's to be expected for many of us.

With a no return-policy for facemasks, I need to tweak them to fit better. And I think I have an inkling on how to do it. The idea of re-entering public transport seems awfully far away, but if there'll be a must, I need these to be useful not just pretty (silly).

And when I say pretty, I mean the fabrics. Pretty fabrics that makes us all look like a sligthly kinder Hannibal Lecter, never cool. But cool and fashionable is not really THE thing here obviously. Reasonably proper protection is.

:: I call this one ’fake it til’ you make it’ - these days the things and situations I feel a smile and/or a laughter coming naturally are few and far apart. Duh. (It's a pity having a gap tooth isn't equal to instant happiness when needed...)

And when they do it’s 99 % cat or dog (or other animals) related. Now more than ever I’m not finding humans amusing, the stupidity/not-amusing level has somehow risen to new heights, or sunken to new lows is perhaps a better description. 

(these cutiepies, for example, obviously need a post of their own, I knooow!)

But I’ve heard, that if you force yourself to smile and laugh more, that’s also away to feel happier (even if there are few external factors to feel joyful about these days). So cheers to fake it til’ you make it-smiling! 

:: Haven’t been to a hairdresser for years now. Funny how you get used to diy hair cutting. Guess I wouldn’t get away with it if my hair was straight or I wanted some intricate cut... And I’m not giving up my day job for it anytime soon. But, it works without being totally awful.

Noticed a local hairdresser today who offered suspiciously low prices if it was an hourly rate, but reasonable if it was only a quick cut or a trim. Think I’ll have a little straight cut trim and treat there come autumn. 

:: Inaugurated the flower power dress last week. And had a good fika, vegan breakfast. And did the same today again. A treat that gives a glimmer of unpretentious normality to life. 

:: The thai food truck within walking distance has opened up again after the holidays. There will be a visit later this week.



:: Walks, nature and forest bathing have continued to sooth a troubled soul.

:: On Friday and Saturday it's time for the outdoor drive/walk in cinemas with social distancing and 50 people max. It will be so interesting to see how that experience will turn out.

:: For next week I'm keeping umpteenth fingers crossed for a belter of great news on the job front.

And to sum things up, obviously there are lovely, heartwarming things happening in this small on hold-life too. But I so very much keep wanting so much more. Don't we all?

Next post up, a new vegan food inspiration-post is what's needed! Can I get a buckjump?

thursday thoughts, july 2020

I had planned a little thoughtful post of things that has been swirling in my mind lately, but now I'm pretty empty. Apart from the fact that it's crazy that tomorrow is the very last day of July. And it's not that I've felt it's been a slow month as such. Only a very uneventful month, compared to a normal July, when the world was very different. But, let's save those wistful thoughts for tomorrow.

Today the rain has been pouring down, pretty much nonstop since 3.30 pm. Just managed to get home from a walk before it got totally crazy. But, as usual, much deserved for nature. And apparently it's suppose to be a heatwave over the weekend. Phew.

In a couple of weeks I've booked tickets /(free) for two miniature local outdoors cinema experiences. 50 *seats* only. I'm very curious how they'll do the setup, as you can come both with and without car. Sounds fun in theory at least. We'll bring a picnic and if it's a shambles we can always leave, without losing the ticket money.



For today's walk I had some specific photo plans, but before the rain began to pour the wind was crazy strong, so it was impossible to accomplish that mission. But the books were slightly more cooperative. Taking ones Haruki Murakami books for a walk, as one does... I never do (promise), but I wanted to take a different book photo, instead of my usual cats and books, fika and books, in the garden, on the sunbed, in commemoration that I've now finished the second book of Killing Commendatore. Not sure it was the best of ideas (pun! for everyone who has read the books) to take it slow with that read, contrary to book one. It kind of killed the momentum and magic somewhat. But, great book/s, magic realism is da thing!

Still, my very first read of his, "Kafka on the Shore", which I bought for the cover alone, 13 years ago, is still my number one favourite of his.



Was contacted by a recruiter of freelance content editors/managers/writer on LinkedIn the other day. Not The Dream Job - or even Dream Gig - but to keep an open mind to offers is a good thing. At least until one understands that the recruiter (fot the umpteenth time) is unprofessional, inexperienced and hasn't really read my profile properly.

And then don't want to/can't answer basic and valid questions. Oh my, how tired I am of this well spread behaviour - of which LinkedIn sadly is a serious culprit, or perhaps is a willing platform for it. How come so many people (not least recruiters) don't take any pride in their work and in being professional and decent anymore?

The search continues. And the trust in the Universe too. It's August soon. A new working year is about to begin. Now is the time for amazingness, ne s'est pas, Universe? Surely a brilliant sustainability dedicated company/organisation with likeminded my-kind-of-people must be in dire need fo a communications manager or alike right NOW? And I'm pretty sure, convinced really, that it IS me you're looking for!



Long term readers might remember those shoe buying bonanzas I had in Berlin a few summers. It seems like another life. And it very much was so really. Anyway. These green El Naturalista wedges I got in 2010. Have never liked the look or feel of wedges. Until I tried these on and they turned out to be really comfy. And as apple green is my number one shoe colour, who could walk away NOT getting them?

Wore them lots for several summers. But haven't worn them fore some years now. But as my feet have enjoyed the vegan wedges lately, I thought I'd give these a go today. The were pretty great. Once again, how enjoyable isn't it to thrift in your own wardrobe?



Slowfashion, OOTD and shoe per diem:

Organic cotton/linen sweater, Bric-a-Brac Stockholm
Denim skirt, Levis
Green wedges, El Naturalista
Re-Kånken, Fjällräven
Unikko Umbrella, Marimekko

Block colours, gott love them!

And thank you brain, thank you fingers, once again, for actually getting to work when I start. writing.

solar roof dreaming

So. Of the 97 properties in my community association it seems only one (1) have a solar (panel) roof. 

Something which has been on top of my house wishlist for years, but for many reasons I haven’t been able to install one. Yet. And after the leaky roof incident, plus everything disappointing that happened after that, that's still my first priority (alongside other annoying house related issues that have been popping up these past few years... Gah!). And a solar roof is still a dreamy dream.

Obviously, unlike for my neighbours, it has zero to do with prioritizing luxuary renovations like gutting fully functional bathrooms, kitchens etc etc etc. Instead of making slow, sustainable, reusing materials renovations, many (like Swedes in general...) of them seem to have out with the old, in with the new regular cycles (from what I've seen with constant major renovations, not upkeeps, over the almost 20 years I've been living here). It's just depressing.

The vast majority of the households also have several cars and then  there's a lot of complaining about the *lack of* parking lots, instead of everything is connected-connecting the dots of having max one car, park in the garage and use the excellent public transports (pre-pandemic). Or even better, there should be a car-pool instead, and a bicycle-pool. It's well over-due that we all look past our own selfish convenience, and simply strive to be better earthlings. Cool down, my melting brain.

Quite many are also lazy/ignorant/selfish enough to not bother with recycle/source separate garbage (something EVERY Swede is bound by law to do, but too many chose to not give a sh*t about). So pretty much every time I go to our shared garbage bin, I see things that should have been recycled and not thrown in the garbage (glass, paper, plastic, tin). Be still, my rolling eyes.

.

That has little to do with not having solar panels on your roof obviously, per se. But those issues are still part of The Problem. And just another proof that the majority in this reasonably affluent middle-class neighbourhood give f**k all about the role they play in the most important matter of our time, which we are ALL facing now: the climate emergency *insert many red exclamation marks*

I have no idea who lives in the inspiring solar house on the corner. But it made me really happy to see the dedication and insight they show (and of course, at least equally dispiriting to see the other 99% ish non-solar roofs), to be part of the solution! Might need to put a nice note in their letter-box.

And my dreaming continues.

organic vegan food inspiration, part 11

Just like last time and everytime before that, the recipes (in Swedish, but easily translated) on Årstiderna's website, scroll to find Veganska matkassen's recipes (as they're organized per year/week, it might be tricky to find, if you want any help, let me know!).

The previous posts are linked at the bottom of this post.

Dish above was pretty and delicious, but rather lacked in substance and long term satisfaction. but of course, make more and add carbs is the solution to that. Oven-baked beetroots, red onion, roasted chickpeas, baby spinach and apple salad.



Creamy pumpkin gnocchi with mangold and pumpkin seeds. Lovely.



Potato salad with parsley, cucumber, aubergine and rye bread croutons. It was nice, but let's just call it a bit too much work for the satisfaction level it brought.



Italian burger with red basil, aubergine, sage and oven roasted potatoes. Most plantbased a pretty great, so was this. But you should definitely add some good dairyfree dressing or sauce.



Millet salad with tarragon, mangold, pear, selleri and squash. Good flavours but a bit whishy-washy.



Pizza with cherry tomatoes, red onion, sage, red kale and nutritional yeast. Fennel salad. Very good, as usual.



Chili sin carne with onion, carrots, selleri, borlotti beans and lime. Not a great fan of chili, so I found this pretty basic. Very filling with all the beans and root veggies.



Coconut-miso rice with tofu and fried ginger marinated zucchini-paprika. Lovely!



Special rye bread with hummus and tomato-red onion salad (svedjerågbröd, can't find a decent English translation, bu it's some old, healthy, sustainable grain). It's not exactly a proper, filling dish, but eat a couple of sandwiches and load them with hummus and you're all set.



Potato-leek croquets with quinoa-watermelon salad. Good one.



Quesadillas with black beans, carrots, tomatoes, baby spinach and nutritional yeast. Served with that delicious water melon left-overs. Delicious dish. I love making vegan quesadillas!



Butternut squash with blue peas, black cabbage, spinach and Greek basil. I'm just not a fan of bean stews, and I found this one pretty blah as well as much ado about nothing much.



This was supposed to be tahini-fried aubergine on rye bread with bulgur, cucumber and padròn paprika. But of I remember correctly the aubergine was missing in the box, and I prefer zucchini anyway and I really enjoy hummus instead of bulgur. Not a fan of padròn paprika though, I find green paprika bitter and unappealing, so is this one. So hummus and tahini-fried zucchini on rye bread with padròn paprika is this.



Pizza with tomato sauce topped with zucchini marinated in parsley and kale oil. Salad with carrots and the rest of the zucchini. It was suppose to be parsnip instead of carrots, but this was lovely too. Interesting thing to bake a simple tomato sauce pizza and add a cold topping.



This was a super-lovely dish! Warm potato salad with tomatoes, green beans, oregano, rye bread croutons and mustard vinaigrette. I preferred to over roast the potatoes instead of making a classic potato salad. It was a great move.



Daal with different peas, sweet potato, ginger, onion and topped with cucumber. Pretty good, but not wow.



Noodles with kimchi-marinated winter radish and carrots with sesame oil and gomashio salt. Lovely dish. Fried tofu would have added some extra oomph.

Until next time, bon appetite!

Previous inspiration posts -

Organic vegan food inspiration 1
Organic vegan food inspiration 2
Organic vegan food inspiration 3
Organic vegan food inspiration 4
Organic vegan food inspiration 5
Organic vegan food inspiration 6
Organic vegan food inspiration 7
Organic vegan food inspiration 8

Organic vegan food inspiration 9

Organic vegan food inspiration 10