throw me a line

Just when you need it, music appears that speaks to your soul. And in my case, it has more often than not been something new from Haevn these past few years. And for the third year in a row, they were my most played artist on Spotify, and my theme song "Where the Heart is" was still my number one song too (place number two was "Adore you" and apparently I'm one amongst the top 3% who listen to their music on Spotify. There's just something that touch my soul, the special blend of intimate and majestic is simply magical.

2020, I had such high hopes for you. And then you became a mess. Just because humans in general don't respect the natural world and our fellow earthlings, we all have to suffer for it. 

I wanted to write something light hearted, positive and hopeful in the very first post of 2021. But alas I'm not at all in that place now, quite the opposite, I miss my old energetic, grounded in happiness self (I mean, even when M passed away I could feel glimmers of joy and hopefulness). After 10 months of isolation I am drained, tired and have an almost constant brain fog status. There is only as much gratitude on repeat you can feel when there is basically zero input of new insights and meaningful conversations, good meetings and purposeful work to be done.

2020 was suppose to be THE year of new, amazing beginnings, instead it has left me feeling hapless and desolate. The climate angst and Weltschmerz is quite overwhelming. And I cry a lot. Which isn’t really me as I know myself.

I worry about my finances. I desperately want to hold on to the fact that the universe has my back, but currently I worry that there will come a day (in a not so far future) when I won't be able to pay my bills. I'm sad that despite all this searching I haven't been able to find my soul squad and my purpose. It may be 2020 to blame for that too, putting a stop to most things, but it may also be I'm not looking in the right places, my network doesn't really work for my purpose, heck possibly I was born in the wrong time.

I thought I was really good at cultivating my resilience, but after these 10 months and especially a December completely void of sun hours, I'm not sure anymore.

If 2020 hadn't been as it was I probably hadn't done a class in Science of Wellbeing, nor two courses in philosophy. Or the Sustainability Science course. (Got my home exams essay appoved the other week, but I'm quite offended by the grade the essay got. I felt the reading was sloppy and they didn't really understand my point. I know it's a vast subject that need more words, pages and reasoning than the mere 800 words that were our limit, but that diesn’t mean it was that lacking. I will likely argue my case, but on the other hand noone will ever ask for the grade only the fact that I went the course and passed). 

Furthermore I wouldn't have project managed the digital Vegoforum's, nor read as many books that I did (didn't made it to 55, but 52 isn't half bad either).

So of course I’m grateful for those opportunities and results from an otherwise dispiriting year. But now I’m overwhelmingly eager and open to meet my soul squad, my kind of people. Much less worry, less despair and sorrow, more stability, joy and positive green growth, a kinder, compassionate world, please please please, 2021, thank you so very much in advance.

Throw me a line now. 

hoping for a happier new 2021

 

2020, a rough year for most of us. I wish I could say I was hopeful and excited about a new year (only 30 minutes away when I write this). I’m not. 

As I’m not very optimistic about The Vaccine, given how the majority of the human species fail to connect the dots and drastically change their behaviour, and then various tipping points getting closer day by day. It’s like Weltschmerz 2.0. 

Resilience has been a big thing in 2020. Learning. Appreciating. Gratitude. Reading. Sleeping. Walking. Cat-cuddling.

Right now I’m anxious, worried and exhausted rather than the much prefered agog, calm and inspired. But that’s alright. Like someone wise said, to have survived this year is enough to be proud and grateful for. 

I’ll write a little recapture of my December, of my 2020, another day. Perhaps tomorrow, or later. As for my hopes for 2021 on a personal level, apart from the obvious health, happiness and a sense of wonder, I’m not brave enough to have any other goals than FINALLY meeting my dream job and finding my soul squad, my dream team. But that’s quite enough for me at this time. Since that’s still a huge piece of my puzzle missing, that’s what I need AND want for 2021.

I also want a complete ban on fireworks. Wildlife and a good portion of domestic animals need it. 

A little something and a glass of vegan pink bubbly 

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ohi7AR_Xc_w&feature=share

- may 2021 be magic, kind, brave, sustainable with sprinkles of joy! Happy. New. Year!

twas christmas 2020

So much to write, and time to do it if I focused I’m sure. But for now, here’s a little December and Christmas related little photo cavalcade (to which I can add text later) to wish you the best kind of warm, kind, vegan and loving holiday in the times of corona.

December has been a literally very dark month in Sweden this year, at least in the Stockholm area. We have had zero (!) hours of sun, until yesterday. You can imagine what that does to body and mind... Today it’s frosty and sunny, which comes as a very good Christmas gift I’d say.

Be as merry as can be!

 

 

hello december, bye november 2020

Anyone else feeling that in this small, restricted life in the times of Corona (9 months and counting. Nine. Months. And. Counting. Madness.) - even small, usually not very significant things in pre-corona life, are either hugely draining or super-inspiring?

When you don’t have the usual social interactions, and your brain basically never get the regular zap it needs (after 10 months desperately so) you kind of shrink as a human being. At least it feels like it.

Emotions are always close at hand. Either you cry, are upset or extremely grateful and inspired by things like a proper oat latte or the fact that you’ve found the most amazing vegan sticky chocolate cake nearby (yes, at that place that sold the not-so-vegan almond pastry earlier this year). And about once a week you can fully enjoy a piece. 

Food has become more important than ever. Not eating more than before, but just talking, planning, cooking, savouring, feeling grateful for a lot more.

My November was both quite good (given the circumstances) and very bad. On the very bad side. The very very bad side. Was the fact that this sweetheart, Siri, passed away. Second kitty I’ve lost this year. 2020, the year that keeps on giving bad news. 

It’s a very fine line during these times between allowing yourself to grief and not allowing yourself to be fully absorbed by it. Because if you start grieving *too much* now, it feels like it would be a very downwards spiral of emotions from there on.

So I’m really sad and I miss her gentle, always purring presence A LOT. But I’m also immensly grateful for the 14 years we got together. She was never sick, always up for a cuddle, gentle, kind and she gave me the fabulastic Prosit sisters, Zigne and Ztina. She adored spending some time every evening upside down in M’s arms getting a proper belly rub. I never did get that position quite right. So I’m thinking they’re now reunited in another dimension, giving and getting the perfect belly rubs.

It wasn’t a good start of the week, having to carry a beloved dead kitty wrapped in a soft sheet, in a Marimekko box, in an IKEA bag to the vet for cremation. But there you are, and life is as what it is, even when it’s extra bumpy and rough you have to be practical. 

I’m writing this on my phone instead of the computer, it’s actually easier to upload photos that way. Not sure how it’ll look once published. But hey, tweaking is always possible. And it isn’t exactly a case of life and death.

I did decide to get a new iPhone. Finally giving up the landline I saved quite a lot of money. I’ve never ever gotten the brand new latest flashiest model, but settled for an older model always reduced in price. The camera has always been good enough. This time the latest flashiest model happened to be cheaper than the previous one though. So I went it. 

In an ideal world I would have gone for a pre-loved phone (not sure if the camera lens would have been pristine though...), but this isn’t an ideal world. And I’m not perfect that way.

So I guess my emotions are mixed, guilty for getting a new, expensive phone. Very happy and giddy over getting a new phone, with a remarkably good camera. Just look at those two remarkably adorable tykes on top of this post! Maybe the photo won’t be as good uploaded to Blogger via the phone, it probably won’t be as crisp and detailed as it really is. But still, you can imagine, you have to trust me.

I’m keeping this short, for realz, so time to wrap it up for this time. Everything is set for the Vegoforum - Vego in politics on Caturday (another day I’ll be a non-present disappointing hooman for most of the day). It’s going to be a great blend of speakers, scientists, environmental organisations and politicians on Zoom, I’m very much looking forward to it!

And after that event I’m going to finish the essay for my Sustainability Science course that I need to hand in on December 20. 

At the beginning of 2021 I really really REALLY need to finally finally FINALLY find my dream job. Because seriously, even if it’ll continue to be remote work still for some time, I do need to get sustainability magic happen with likeminded people for a decent salary (we all need to pay our bills and save up for a rainy day, with possible leaking roofs ya’ know).

I have 9 books to finish in order to reach the 55 books goal before New Years. Not sure it’ll happen, but I did my best during trying times. And at least I’ve read both the good, the very good, the bad and the ugly this year. That needs to be more than good enough.

I hope you’re having a decent life out there. Life is extra tough for us all currently. Some days are better than others. We just have to continue being kind to ourselves, and loved ones, plus decent to others. Enjoy the little things, treat yourself to good stuff and devour good food only.

Thank you, November, roller coaster of good and bad, resilience teacher you.

Hello, December, I’ve got my tea calendar and my vegan chocolate pralines dito, let’s rock this month with kindness and gratitude, shall we? And, needless to say, plenty of tea cups, cat cuddles and savouring of sweet moments! Onwards and upwards.

goodbye sweet october, hello november

 

Another small, restricted month in a world where the new normal is abnormal is over. My month. October, that both begun and ended with a blue full moon A month when nature offers a bonanza of sparkling colours, in a very much less sparkling world.  

If I was religious I'd say that Armageddon is upon us. As I am an atheist, I'd say that Armageddon is upon us. Every day something new and scary, nature showing its full force (human induced obviously) or mankind rearing its absolutely ugliest head full of hate and completely void of sanity, intelligence,  kindness and compassion.

It is really really REALLY very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel now, wouldn't you agree? 

I loved the positive vegan vibes, the innovative ideas, the entrepreneurial force of the Vegoforum last Saturday. It was both exhausting, infuriating and uplifting to plan the event. One day I may write more of what aspects were exhausting, infuriating and uplifting with it. But I'm doing my best to keep this monthly roundup post short-ish. So let's leave it at that for now. I'm already working with the two last forums for the year. Had a Friyay feeling about it last evening, so I worked late and felt very inspired. 

It's been quite consuming of mind and time, and to be honest I haven't been able to study as diligently as I had planned on with the Sustainability Science class alas. The exams will be an home essay (of which we have no details yet) that we have to hand in on December 20th at the latest. The last forum is on December 5th, then I have two weeks to really dig in on that essay. We have four optional quizzes before that, which counts for 20% of the grades. I've done one, and was pretty shocked about the results as it seems I've misconstrued quite a bit. A few of my replies were quite the opposite to the correct ones, which seems weird. But there you are. The focus need to be the essay.

On a personal level, during these extraordinary circumstances times for us all, well at least for us who aren't cavalier and take responsibility for how we behave and act, I think October has been a pretty good month for me.

Despite the ups and downs with the Vegoforum planning and executing it has also been a good thing to keep my wandering mind off worries, unhappiness and sorrows. To just focus in the now and then enjoy the walks, the fikas, running small errands, buying, cooking and eating good food. And of course, having intelligent conversations with the cats. One desperately has to concentrate on what can be done and enjoyed, and not the enormity of all the things one miss. One day at a time. And hey, say buy to another week. Another month. Seven and a half months, people, seven. and. a. half. months. And most likely at least as long before we can possibly, perhaps, maybe can get back to something similar to what used to be normal. See, I'm not very hopeful. 

Accepting and adjusting to how things are, sacrificing and coping, those aren't really mindsets who put you in the best of hopeful or positive moods. Yes, I've learnt a lot these months, of which I'm grateful for, but jeez, living in limbo, some sort of forced half life is rough on both body and mind. 

I did trip and fall at the beginning of the month (as seems to be my new annual tradition that time of the year). My left knee has been pretty sore on and off for the rest of the month, and both my wrists were for the first week or so. The reason for tripping, no obvious one at all. On rare yet regular occasions I'm clumsy and have been so since I was a kid. But the older one gets, the scarier it is, a broken arm due to slipping on a cat vomit isn't all that fun so I'm trying to be extra cautious all the time these days, to avoid situations like that. Yet, they happen anyway.

I haven't had much time to read books during October. But somehow I seem to be on the right track with my 55 books 2020 challenge anyway. I now need to finish 16 books before December 31st to reach that goal. Think I can do it?

Even if I most certainly don't relish the notion of being a year older (but we have already decided that 2020 doesn't count right?), I did enjoy the quiet birthday celebrations a lot. I also got myself a very orange tunic/dress - I though it would look snazzy and stylish, but albeit lovely it does confirm my granny toddler style. Embrace and flaunt it. Or maybe, possibly not wear the tunic with a pair of old cat leggings? (Suitable for a not so crazy cat lady.)

I got some lovely old, never used embroidered by my grandma cotton sheets and two old Maria Lang-books (as I've mentioned earlier I want to collect all of her books, 45ish of them), now I have 15. In times where you can't visit thrift stores or second hand book shops that's tricky. Of course you can get them online, but it's difficult to find a bunch of them from the same seller, and then you end up having to pay a lot of postage from several seller instead. No fun. Loved that she recently happened to get these books from a friend of hers (Malte the pug's old mum, who happened to be a librarian before she retired), read them, then gave them to me.

2020 was also the year I finally unsubscribed to the regular phone line. Most people just use their mobiles these days, but I'm not all that comfortable with just a smartphone and no other means of communicating in an emergency etc. So I've kept the phone subscription as a security measure, even if I still used the smartphone 99% of the time. Which means I've paid a hefty price for something I'm not really using, haven't used for these past couple of years.

First I planned to unsubscribe and get a cheaper provider, but then I couldn't be bothered. It's better to get another cheap and basic mobile phone as a backup instead. Now I'm thinking of upgrading my iPhone, in an ideal world something this expensive and also not very sustainably produced (but oh so good for working and photography), would last for at least 10 years. Which obviously is pure dreaming. My iPhone is 2,5 years, and it's slowing down and acting up a bit lately. A nuisance. But hopefully I can keep it as my backup phone, instead of selling it. 

Though as life isn't what it used to be (duh) the project of getting a new one, but not being able to go into a store and talk with an actual real life person and getting technical help etc, also seems quite overwhelming. I always have a screen shield on my phones, I can't understand people who don't, and they're so tricky to attach it's easier to get the store do it. Dread doing it myself. Ah well, one step at a time. Spending precious energy and time worrying about this is useless.  

I have two other technical issues that annoys the heck out of me, firstly the Swedish television broadcast not being analogue anymore which means that of you don't have a TV younger than born in 2009 you're either forced (if you think you need a TV) to get a new one altogether or buy an additional digital box. I helped my mother with getting a brand new TV in September and managed to install it myself, first time ever, and I'm quite impressed by and proud of myself for doing it. The manual wasn't very good (understatement) but I'm persistent enough to keep at it until I've figured it out. A little victory for September.

Myself I've so far settled for watching TV via the Apple TV, not all regular channels, but the most basic ones can be watched that way. I also have free subscription for a cable channel for a year, which has a lot of movies, TV-series and documentaries. Somehow it's quite liberating to more actively chose what to watch this way. Unfortunately, after watching some great series and movies initially I now have high standards for what I what to spend time watching and most options quickly fall flat. So many rubbish, generic, ridiculous series and movies out there. 

Second nuisance is the fact that for some crazy reason the community association (97 properties in my hoods) voted for installing fiber network in our neighbourhood, despite only about 30 houses had signed up for it. An overwhelming majority had not. Yet they managed to get a go ahead. And begun working two weeks ago, streets, parts of flower beds and shrubs have been mauled and they have yet to restore as promised. The sales tactics from the internet company  (with a very questionable reputation) have been quite aggressive too. They're suppose to finish the extensive work next week. And then we can all enjoy the damage they've caused the whole neighbourhood for the questionable benefit of about 30% of the residents.  

Well, this post wasn't as short and sort of sweet as I planned. I might as well have written more extensive about the exhausting, infuriating and uplifting to planning of the Vegoforum event. But one done, two more to go. There will be a perfect time to write a summary about the ups and downs once those are done.

Thank you October, my friend, you were pretty and you behaved overall benevolently. You were quite enjoyable, despite the circumstances. I'm grateful for that, sweetie.

November, I know your general reputation is dull and dark, uninspiring and overburdening. Shall we not agree on changing that this year of many many burdens already? Okay? Agreed!

And to friends and readers across the pond, VOTE VOTE VOTE. Please put a firm and active stop to this mayhem and madness that has been allowed to pervert and deeply stained the very idea of decency and democracy for these past four years. You need to heal your country. We all need to heal the world. Together.

happy birthday to me 2020

A year older, a year wiser but definitely not a year happier. But who is after such an epically miserable  year as 2020? 

So either I’ve aged 10 years instead of 1, or I’ve cancelled the aging process altogether and will save getting older to next year.

In this now small and restricted world it’s obviously been a quietly good day only (which isn’t bad) without a vegan proper cake though - no such bakeries around here and I just didn’t have the inclination to bake myself.

Little mum and I did get this feast from the thai foodtruck on Friday though, shared the fries and half a dish (two with tofu, two with Oumph), then saved the rest for today. And still have leftovers for tomorrow.

And on Thursday I had this vegan Snickers pastry (that actually IS vegan, as opposed to that time before...). Got two to go, so we at least could have something sweet and special with the tea.

With the fabulous vegan bake book I should obviously had baked myself, but with organizing the Vegoforum AND trying to study for sustainability science class as well as other stuff going and life itself on I’ve been to busy, too tired for that. I’m hoping I’ll be able to bake something this upcoming week though.

As for the digital Vegoforum on Zoom, it took place yesterday afternoon. For various reasons I had worried (as I am the worrying kind as well as have my moments of imposter syndrome) a lot about it. But I turned out so awesome that I was both touched as well as very happy. And proud of my work. And my passion. From the vegan food companies, entrepreneurs, innovators to the panel of politicians - three hours just said swoosh and we could have filled much more time. I see it as a very good birthday gift, that also were a great gift to so many others. The day was recorded, it’ll go up on YouTube as soon as I have figured out the editing. Though mostly in Swedish of course. I’ll add the link when it’s ready.

If disappointment had a face, Ågot’s would be it though. The kitties were totally miffed over how I treated the sacred Caturday yesterday. Not everyone was pleased about a day well spent. 

Two more forums to go, in November and December.  Vego och djurrätt i journalistiken (Veg and animal rights in journalism) resp Vego i politiken (Veg in politics). But as I now have a structure from setting up yesterday’s forum I expect the project managing to be somewhat smoother. Fingers crossed.

As for special treats for myself there’s this Marimekko oversized anorak. Little mum think it looks great, but ’it’s not really you, it’s too sporty!’ - well, you’ll never see me wearing it with jeans or anything else remotely sporty hence I will not sport a sporty look in it!

I also got a lovely orange tunic/dress. No pretty 55 year old like last year, which would have been a dream, but those are extremely hard to find, so there you are. 

I also did a Maria Nila colour refresh, blended the last dollop of Bright Red (as I did last October too) with Pink Pop. It’s more red than violet IRL though, but I kinda love it! Last year there was still some shimmer left in late December (almost three months later) so I’m thinking it’ll be just in time for another perky colour pop up for New Year’s.

Now I’m going to get a big cuppa, have dairyfree nicecream, watch a movie (What If always lift my spirits) and have a foot bath. 

As for an epically miserable year, it has still been filled with so many important lessons, and online meeting interesting people in a very different way (still find it quite awkward and exhausting though). And I liked my birthday treats, especially the work-related one. It was serendipitiously good actually. 

As I’m writing this on the iPhone and not the computer (because I loath how limiting that is when it comes to photo publishing on Blogger these days), I have now idea how the photos will turn out when I hit publish. Decent I hope. (Or I’ll have to tweak it computerwise later...)

Apart from REAL climate action, a vegan norm and kindness everywhere my wish for MY new (but remaining the same age) year remains the same as it has been for these past few years - a great job, with my kind of people, working for a better world. 

Happy B-day to Me, Myself and I the 2020 version!

bye september, hey october

September went fast. And basically being totally absorbed by the fact that mid September I suddenly got a part time temp job until December 31st. A long story, it was all very sudden and linked to my volunteer work revolving around plantbased food and the environment.

As I'm studying Sustainability Science on 25% part-time, it fits quite well with a 50% part-time job. As this year has been crazy for us all, and continue to be so, it actually takes a lot more energy to keep juggling all this than it usually would do. But all in all, I'm very grateful for the opportunity to keep on learning. 

My main job task is organizing the three last Vegoforum events for the year, all digital via Zoom. One the day before my birthday, one in mid November and one in early December. And yes, it's a bit overwhelming when you get thrown into it like this, even if the work per se isn't super heavy. Well life is pretty heavy right now, thus even things that would normally be just fun and a good energizing challenge get a bit much at times. And obviously I wan't to do a great job, so...

:: The lack of decent photo uploading on Blogger is still infuriating. So this is all you get today. The fact that the not so great at vegan pastries cafe now has opened a sourdough bakery too, is another great thing about September. Because the bread is awesome. Especially the rolls and the levain.

:: Little mum and I have taken the commuter train to the end station (two stops from here) twice, to do bank errands and visit my favourite coffee chain Espresso House. Since we get there and home between 9.30-1pm there are very few people on the train it feels pretty okay. And just the thing of enjoying a soy latte and some trustworthy vegan treats again have been a highlight.

:: I finished the second part of the philosophy class at the beginning of September. So it was a clean slate for the sustainability course. We've had four seminars so far, of which two have been great (Sustainable economics and Environmental ethics), but one quite annoying as the concept of ecosystem service is infuriating, specieism at its finest I'd say.

:: We've had some glorious Indian summer days, so autumn has just slowly arrived. And summer dresses have been quite appropriate. Even if the weirdness of the average Swede still is to dress as if it's a cold autumn in late August already. And, obviously black and drab and lots of clothes is the informal dress code. Which I loath. Obviously.

:: I've ordered another batch of those wonderful vegan, palmoil-free Scottish soaps. Bliss.

:: I've also ordered some more tea. And actually, more again the other day. It's Cinnamon Bun Day (vegan recipe for them here!)on Sunday, and they had a small batch of special Cinnamon Bun tea blend this week only. As there won't be any vegan cinnamon buns for me this year alas, I can at least have a whiff and a sip of cinnamon bun tea.

:: I've watched a lot of seminars, some poor, others pretty great. I've finished books, I've started reading new books. I haven't been able to finish any new ones lately, so I'm again 7 books behind on my 55 books reading challenge alas.

:: I've done another colour refresh, this time the colour was Autumn Red. It was visible, but a lighter, more orange red than suits me and it was practically washed away after four hair washes. I'm feeling in the mood for something darker now in October, like last year.

:: I won a big bad of new vegan fruit toffees, it was lovely. And I haven't won anything for years now (oh 2015-2016...), so it was a very welcome surprise. 

:: My recent favourite TV-crush is Zoe's Extraordinary Playlist - if you haven't seen it already, you really should! It's funny, sad (prepare to cry during every episode), moving, insightful and obviously full of music. Loved it, binge watched every episode over 2 days. Miss it. If you, like me, enjoyed Ally McBeal, Glee and Pitch Perfect, you won't be disappointed!

:: My short and sweet summary of a month that so far have been the best one, me thinks, of the last six ones. There's more bits and pieces, I could write about. But this will have to do for now. Not being able to simply add photos is a nuisance, and now I need my beauty sleep.

I want to thank you, September, I think you were a sweetheart, despite the overall current life circumstances. And your surprises were mostly of a positive, uplifting kind. I'm very grateful for having met you.

You also gave me this unexpected fun public toilet selfie moment; Professor Pia and the Mystery of the Haunted Toilet. And I have the Velma Dinkley haircut to prove I can solve it!

Hello, October, my dear birthday month. You have a lot to prove, and so do I. Let's make this a really great, productive and professional month together, with extra bells and whistles, m'kay?

delicious vegan bulgur pomegranate salad

As the new Blogger interface is just ridiculously non-user-friendly it's (currently?) impossible to  post photos in blog. You have to trust my words on how good this dish is, and not your eyes. Can I say how much I dislike this poor Blogger update? Not visible to readers obviously, but for the fact that it's obviously impossible to show photos via URLs now. Not your best and brightest move, Blogger... 

And to download from Flickr to upload from computer (and being unable to chose image size) and get a lousy resolution, is just annoying. It looks better if you read it on a smartphone. But still, a lot of more and unnecessary work to get a post done. Buhu, bad Blogger...

I promised the recipe to this fantastic bulgur salad, here goes.

BULGUR POMEGRANATE SALAD

200 gram coarse bulgur
1 pomegranate
1 rosé or red onion
1 cucumber
2-3 tbsp tahini
rapeseed oil
salt, black pepper, vinegar

Boil the bulgur with about 4 dl water, for 7 minutes under lid. Let it rest for some minutes.

Remover the seeds from the pomegranate. (Google if you want to find the best way of doing it...).

Finely chop the onion. (If you're like me, and don't like the sharp flavour of raw onion you can let the chopped onion rest in crisp cold water for a while before you add it to the rest.)

Cut the cucumber in small dices. Put everything in a large bowl. Toss them with salt, pepper, 2-3 tbsp oil and tahini. Possibly a dash of vinegar, but it'll be fine without.

Add the warm bulgur and mix it carefully. Add more tahini if you like, it's difficult to be specific with the tahini, I usually taste and add and then add some more, to get the perfect creamy combination fo flavours.

Enjoy!

It's great with falafel, obviously, but also with grilled dairyfree cheese, tofu and actually, it's a fabulous satisfying dish on it's very own. The blend of textures, flavours, sweet, salt, sharp, fresh, creamy is just irresistibly good.

happy 15th blogoversary to me!

15 years ago today, late in the evening, I sat down and wrote this tentative post of what would be this blog. September 8, 2005.

And in that post are two things I've been true to ever since. Cats and climate change. Though I'm happy to say that pretty much everything I also mention in that post has also gotten its fair share of space in the world according to me, over the years, in cycles. Jill of Many Trades as I am.

15 years is obviously quite a milestone, but I have prepared exactly zero celebrating for this post. As a celebratory mood is hard to find and channel these days. Though I should of course have baked something vegan nice...

Ah well, I acknowledge the feat. In this very short post. And I also think this past week, September so far, has been pretty good and quite interesting. More of that in a later post. (Though next up is that delicious bulgur pomegranate salad recipe I promised, me thinks.)

Congrats little darling blog, 
on your 15th blogoversary!



Slowfashion, OOTD/of the week and shoe per diem:

Dress, Marimekko
Vegan sneakers, Matt & Nat
Re-Kånken, Fjällräven

goodbye summer, hello autumn 2020

Or bye August, hello September.

I can't say August filled me with joy and gratitude of the happy things I wished and hoped and worked for. I may have planted some seeds, who knows. But all and all, another disappointing month from my viewpoint alas.

I can only hope I planted some important seeds that will grow into a fantastic bloom asap.

The lovely thing was that I did get a phone call regarding the job I had most wished for, for a so-call-pre-interview-meeting. Scheduled for Thursday. It felt like the digital meeting went reasonably well (as it is darn difficult to tell from poor connections with basically zero visibility of facial expressions and body languages). As it is now 1,5 weeks since, I admittedly don't have any hopes of another interview. Which is unfortunate, since I was a great match and it was a very interesting position with great potentials for positive impacts and growth.

When it was a job I was very keen on (as this one) I used to follow up myself after the meeting/interview, but I don't do that anymore. It's simply a waste of my time, and I haven't been able to convince them of my awesomeness via my application, our conversation, the meeting and every other little detail you can find out via googling, there's nothing more I can do. They've decided to go another way. And my time is too precious to spend thinking and hassling with things and situations I can't change.

If you can't change it, let it go.

Somewhere out there there MUST be a company and organisation that click with me. However truly dispiriting things feel currently. And as far as I'm concerned have felt for much too long now. This is just ridiculous. What do you want from me Universe??

So far I haven't really been able to keep to my fake it 'til you make it plan...



But as for the things I do have enjoyed and felt energized by in my small world in the latter half of August, these are as follows.

The drive in/walk in cinema evenings were really nice. But for another heatwave that week, it would have been better if the movies had begun an hour later since the sun on the screen wasn't the best combo. But of course that's nothing you can really plan for.

Also, it's common sense really, that you don't bring toddlers to a movie and let then run around screaming while you as parents couldn't care less and you yourselves continue with a loud conversations while you all disturb the rest of the audience. There are idiots everywhere.

And even more so post- and during corona I'd say. Why isn't corona-madness a concept wildly discussed yet? Every day there's more and more proofs that it is a real thing.

The movies, Jumanji: The Next Level and Peanut Butter Falcon were both unpretentiously entertaining, however not something I'd been happy to pay for. If I'm honest. The older you get, the more movies you have in your luggage, the more discerning you get.



And somehow, the best thing about those outdoor movie evenings, were the walks home on warm summer evenings with crickets singing everywhere.

As far as the Know Thyself-philosophy course, that honestly annoyed me more than it delighted me. Well I finished that course, got my certificate. And decided, after all, to continue with the second one I'd already paid for. I felt it was interesting enough, concentrating on the Unconscious. I'm now in week 4 and I hope to get another certificate by the end of the week.

Slightly better, and yes interesting in some ways of course, than the initial course, but not really something I'd recommend. It's such a deep and wide subject, it deserves more time and work, and a professor that doesn't mumble rush through the classes. Also some proof-reading wouldn't go amiss.

Tomorrow my Sustainability Science class will begin - which will last until the end of December, at 25% part time. It'll be interesting to see how that'll be! Only digital this year.



This, my friends, is a magnificent piece. A vegan bake book, almost 450 pages of recipes and information on how to make, bake, create the perfect vegan cakes, cookies and pastries without harming animals or our planet.

The writer/baker, Karolina Tegelaar, has written several cook/bake books before this one (I haven't got any of them), but the most amazing thing with this one is that she's written it during 10 (!) years of trial and error baking herself through the pastries so we don't have to. With the motto "You should never settle for less that a perfect vegan cake".

As there's a lot of aquafaba involved in the recipes, I guess you must be terribly keen on making hummus (or any other chickpea dish) regularly if you plan to bake often and lost from Vegansk bakning. Myself I'm planning to start with something small.

And as I haven't had a food processor since 2017, I haven't baked any buns and breads since, and I can only bake cakes and cookies as things are now.

The pictures are lovely too. And the cover design obviously appeal to me, big time.



And on the subject of vegan pastries. This chocolate cake at the newly opened enjoyable cafe is vegan. And surprisingly lovely at that.

However, we were shocked to learn at our visit last week, that the almond hook they said were vegan is not. They contain egg white and has never been vegan. As I know that two staff people (of which one is one of the owners) have said it was vegan, and I've obviously asked very clearly, I'm really very annoyed by this. Had either of us been allergic to eggs it could have had devastating consequences.

Needless to say it's very unprofessional to run a food business where the staff doesn't know the ingredients of what they're selling.

And yes I have offered my services when it comes to the poor vegan selection and now obviously their ignorance. They have not bothered to get in contact.

So beware if you visit Petjo's cafe, if you're vegan, or allergic to any ingredients, you can't be really sure about what the staff claims. Disappointing but true.

They're also opening a bakery shortly, and you know how I miss my favourite city bakeries and their sourdough breads. However my giddy anticipation has faded somewhat after this incident.

The book in the picture, is a very interesting one on the right-wing racist part Sweden democrats (Sverigedemokraterna) and  social media campaigns with links to the Trump-strategy, Sverigevänner (Friends of Sweden, like those cohorts like to call themselves) by Swedish journalist Jonathan Lundberg. It's not exactly a book that fills you with inspiration and joy over the human kind and its intelligence. But alas, not every important read is.

These are indeed dark times, on so many levels and more than ever, we should keep ourselves informed. As well as be the change working against these dark forces in whatever little way we are able to.



On the brighter side of books, I highly recommend this one on Shinrin-yoku aka forest bathing, by Dr Qing Li. Did you know that 2/3 of Japan is covered by forest at the same time that the country is one of the most densely populated in the world?

It's an easy read, full of interesting facts on nature, health, well-being and research. Plus tips on how to incorporate forest-bathing as a routine in your daily life. Even if I think it's very difficult for most of us to do that 3 hours per day... But 30 minutes - 1 hour is better than nothing.



I'm trying my best to get back on track with my 55 books goal for 2020, but I'm still 7 books behind and I have 25 left to finish in order to reach the goal. I'm very good at starting new books, not equally good at finishing them all. As I like to stretch my brain with an eclectic mix, some of them get to be a bit heavy and uninteresting after a while, and the reading gets slowed down.

And to be honest, there are very few books that draw you in from page one and you just can't stop reading. They might still be good, just not enthrallingly good.

I've just started reading this one, and it's truly unique. Monster i terapi (Monster in therapy), by Jenny Jägerfeld and Mats Strandberg, is about four famous monsters in literature being subjected to modern therapy in current society. A fascinating read indeed. before corona hit I was about to attend a writer's talk with Mats Strandberg, and had looked forward to getting some of his books signed (he's an excellent horror writer), but alas it was cancelled. Hopefully there will be a day when real life gatherings of many is possible again...



One of my favourite shops in Stockholm, Krabat 53, was one of the victims of corona, and they had to close down last month. It was such a lovely, quirky, colourful gift shop and most of all it was the place where I got my regular Sonny Angel-fix. Aka the building blocks for my small Japanese nude boy angel dolls-collection.

As I'm not keen at all on paying for them in blind boxes - at the risk of getting a gazillion duplicates - I'll not continue to be the reasonably avid collector I've been for some years now. It'll be a rare treat to get one now and then, as my favourite provider is no more.

But there you are, and obviously there're better things to put your money on.



After the second heatwave of this weird summer 2020, we've experienced much welcomed rains. And rather distinctly cooler weather, too cool for late August, but as nothing is what normal used to be before climate change, one can only accept and deal with it. Even if I'd loved to wear happy summer dresses for some more weeks still.



Slowfashion, OOTD of the week and shoe per diem:

Dress and calf tote, Marimekko
Vegan sneakers, Adidas
Re-Kånken, Fjällräven

(what do you call a selfie in a library elevator?)

Farewell, August, I had so much more hope for you, I won't lie, you've left me sad and disappointed despite some glimmers of beauty and sprinkles of joy.

Welcome, September, will you be my sweetheart, pretty please? I desperately need sparks of progress and positive momentum galore.