:: If I had gotten a €$£ for every time over the years I’d thought I would have been a more fulfilled person if I’d studied philosophy/psychology instead of law, then I’d probably be a multi-millionaire.
But IF the grass is greener on the other side, that is one eternal question. The choices we make and the choices we made, and the paths we took and take, were the ones we were suppose to take at the time. So it’s absolutely useless to dwell on that in hindsight obviously.
Still. So much time to think that these past 6 (!) months without new meetings, insights, inspiration and memories have brought, so much soul searching, introspection, old memories coming to new life, frustration, sadness as well as small moments of joy to savour.
That said, in awaiting of the Sustainability Science - described as "examining the interactions between human, environmental, and engineered systems to understand and contribute to solutions for complex challenges that threaten the future of humanity and the integrity of the life support systems of the planet, such as climate change, biodiversity loss, pollution and land and water degradation." -
course that starts on the last shivering day of summer in a couple of weeks, I’m now taking a couple of philosophy courses - Know Thyself, at Edinburgh University/Coursera. Absolutely loved it after week 1 (Socrates, Plato and the likes resonates easily with me).
But week 2 started to annoy me. Because unlike the great The Science of Well-Being course in spring at Yale/Coursera, which I truly loved and learnt a lot from, the American professor has a forced, mumbling and fast way of talking. With a complicated subject and a lot of philosophical concepts which probably take years to fully grasp, but which the course is trying to cram into 4 weeks (jeez!), that's not a satisfying learning experience.
The only thing I enjoyed with Descartes is that he apparently liked to stay in bed all day and think (one of my favourite things too). Other than that, I have to say I find him to be more than a bit of twit and very full of himself.
I'm now into week 4, and things are picking up somewhat - What is the the concept of Human Nature etc. I'm hoping to take my certificate this week.
Unfortunately I didn't get that the full course is in fact made of three different courses, not depending on each other, so I made the mistake of signing up to part II before I realised it was a part I. And as I had no doubt that it would be another great learning experience, I thought it would be better to read them chronologically. I am now annoyed at myself (though more annoyed at the poor quality of the course, or well, at least lower than I expected from it).
I'm not exactly looking forward to another class with the same setup and same professor (who seems like a likable and knowledgeable guy irl, just not really inspiring or enjoyable via online learning). I'm not sure one can get the payment transferred to another course, but I'll look into that. Otherwise I'll do it, as not to waste my fees.
One strong conclusion I've come to after these philosophy studying weeks, is that I'm less philosophy inclined than I thought. Law suited me better after all. Or I've just not really come across "my kind of philosophers" yet. Well, apart from Socrates and Plato. Another proof that you always are and do what you're suppose to be and do.
:: Another thing I've realised so far this month - which basically is just a continuation of everything in life coming to a halt since corona, and my last post in June - and despite all the high hopes, faith and trust for August,
is that this extremely limited, restricted, trapped small life of the past 6 months, with all its worries and stress constantly building up, is really really getting a bit too much now.
Some days may be better, when it’s easier to savour the good things, acknowledge gratitude, breath fully and feel reasonably hopeful. The other days are honestly pretty sh*t.
.
And *looking forward* to at least another six more months of restrictions in Sweden (work from home and stay off public transport). Not exactly reeling with joy.
I’m also convinced there are so so many people out there feeling like this. But we don’t talk much about it, do we?
On the news the other day they talked about suicide prevention-lines and other volunteer organisations have been overwhelmed with calls from people feeling depressed, lonely and having financial worries (lots of them elderly that are feeling isolated). They need to be get more public funds to manage this. As an example one organisation alone used to work with 30 volunteers, now they nee to be at least 300 to cope with all the distress calls.
It makes me truly sick with all the financial support that go into companies (without any real sustainability demands tied to them) and not people. That there's so much talk about getting back to *normal* and business as usual, hail consumerism. When we are all to aware that is exactly what got us here in the first place. We desperately need to build new and better. Stop eating meat. Stop pleasure flying. Stop depending on fossil fuel. Stop shopping like we used to. Stop being so bl**dy selfish. Slow down. Think. Act. Be brave. And compassionate.
:: And I finally got the palaver Palava facemasks. The fabric is pretty - and I get that when they're made of fabric scraps you can't expect the patterns to be perfectly matched. One should always chose one colour or a tighter pattern to get that - but I have to say that the design itself is lacking. They're too loose, too large. And if you can only chose from child, women, men with no measurements but a one size fits all-concept I guess this is what's to be expected for many of us.
With a no return-policy for facemasks, I need to tweak them to fit better. And I think I have an inkling on how to do it. The idea of re-entering public transport seems awfully far away, but if there'll be a must, I need these to be useful not just pretty (silly).
And when I say pretty, I mean the fabrics. Pretty fabrics that makes us all look like a sligthly kinder Hannibal Lecter, never cool. But cool and fashionable is not really THE thing here obviously. Reasonably proper protection is.
:: I call this one ’fake it til’ you make it’ - these days the things and situations I feel a smile and/or a laughter coming naturally are few and far apart. Duh. (It's a pity having a gap tooth isn't equal to instant happiness when needed...)
And when they do it’s 99 % cat or dog (or other animals) related. Now more than ever I’m not finding humans amusing, the stupidity/not-amusing level has somehow risen to new heights, or sunken to new lows is perhaps a better description.
(these cutiepies, for example, obviously need a post of their own, I knooow!)
But I’ve heard, that if you force yourself to smile and laugh more, that’s also away to feel happier (even if there are few external factors to feel joyful about these days). So cheers to fake it til’ you make it-smiling!
:: Haven’t been to a hairdresser for years now. Funny how you get used to diy hair cutting. Guess I wouldn’t get away with it if my hair was straight or I wanted some intricate cut... And I’m not giving up my day job for it anytime soon. But, it works without being totally awful.
Noticed a local hairdresser today who offered suspiciously low prices if it was an hourly rate, but reasonable if it was only a quick cut or a trim. Think I’ll have a little straight cut trim and treat there come autumn.
:: Inaugurated the flower power dress last week. And had a good fika, vegan breakfast. And did the same today again. A treat that gives a glimmer of unpretentious normality to life.
:: Walks, nature and forest bathing have continued to sooth a troubled soul.
:: On Friday and Saturday it's time for the outdoor drive/walk in cinemas with social distancing and 50 people max. It will be so interesting to see how that experience will turn out.
:: For next week I'm keeping umpteenth fingers crossed for a belter of great news on the job front.
And to sum things up, obviously there are lovely, heartwarming things happening in this small on hold-life too. But I so very much keep wanting so much more. Don't we all?
Next post up, a new vegan food inspiration-post is what's needed! Can I get a buckjump?
1 comment:
Had you asked me, Pia, I would have said you fall into the Mark Twain observer-philosopher category. His books read on several levels, speaking to the reader's level of life experience. No doubt you will find him more thought provoking than a course you could probably teach.
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