poor little kitty

So glad May is over. It really hasn't been a good month. From the unseasonal heatwave of global warming, to infuriating work related disappointment (that forever have chipped my trust in people and collaborations), worry, stress, lack of sleep and to top it off - this.



Poor little bunny Ztina. One of the irreplacable Prosit sisters. A few days ago I noticed her heavy breathing. I had hoped it was only the heat, it's taking its toll on us all, especially the furballs. But I knew it wasn't, she just wasn't her annoyingly, delightful self. Took her to the vet. Where it was discovered she apparently has a serious heart condition.

She was so brave and sweet all through the extensive examination, the ultrasound, the blood tests, the scary drainage of the fluid in her pericardium and pleura. The condition should be treatable and she's currently on three different meds, of which at least one, the heart medicine, will be for the rest of her (long!) life. Oh the joy.

Back for a check-up next week. She's almost her old self again, so fingers crossed the meds are working and that it'll be a viable long term solution.

Just when I really really really didn't need any more extra costs this happened, like when this emergency happened to her sister back in 2016. Luckily she has insurance, but still, the deductable is costly in itself.

For now I'm just so relieved she seems to be doing well. And I'm so blessed to have a oxytocin lifting personality like her in my life. Alongside her little furry family, who normally aren't this friendly with eachother but they seemed to get that circumstances where special after the vet visit yesterday.



Bye May, your may have been beautiful on the surface but I'm so sad you were such a generally disappointing, dispiriting, deplorable month in truth. Though I loved your lilacs. (And I will elaborate on your other adversities at a later date.)

Hello June, can you please, please, please be generously kind and uplifting?
And do offer some gorgeous, much needed rain?

looking for my kind of people

Dear Blog, it has been exactly one month since I last blogged. Which is the longest (voluntary) blog hiatus I've had. Not for the lack of thoughts and things to write about, but it is after all better to live and experience those thoughts and things than writing about them.

I can't even begin writing about everything that has happened during this past month, so much meetings, seminars, inspiration and people - but at the same time, here and now despite all this nothing has drastically changed for me personally, as far as I know. And when all the activity slowed down last week and I welcomed a breather I was struck by a horrible cold, that has been a most unwelcome companion for over a week now. I haven't had this nasty kind of cold for years so I suppose it was the body's way to say slow down. And hopefully I've now boosted the immune system for years.

The climate change has certainly been very obvious this year, the last (?) snow we had on May 9. Craziness. And then a few days later early summer arrived. We've had some lovely summer days with temperatures around 20+C and over, but the evenings are still unseasonably chilly. Summer colds are definitely worse than winter ones and even if I'm not allergic to anything the pollen season has been adding to the nastiness of it. Ah well, I'm feeling better now, if not all well.

Talking about climate change, I attended the Climate March in April. I do not do marches or group things, but still I did this one, because just as the sign I made says "you know it's serious when even the introverts turn up". Had a nice march with friends but it was really dispiriting to see how poorly organized it was plus how appallingly few people that turned up for the march. Was I the only introvert in Stockholm who realised how serious our situation is?

I'm still no closer, as far as I know, to that part-time job goal of 2017.

A few times I've thought I've been but they've turned out to be far from the great opportunities they looked to be - two misleading ads, one job was a case of "wanting someone passionate about working in an office with no need of flexibility" and the other interview was a case of blatant mansplaining. Sigh. I thought we had come so much further in 2017.

But I'm working on it! And of course continuing to run my own Prosit business. Which I hope to do for oh so many years still.

A few highlights of these past few weeks have been -

:: A lovely breakfast seminar about diversity at Junibacken experience centre/museum of Astrid Lindgren's magical storybook world. It was before the museum opened - no visitors, only the utter delight of experience the quirky building, the stories, the ambiance and not least the Storybook Train (which made me tear up). The museum is also a conference centre and open for private functions. I didn't know and I think that is such an awesome place for it!

:: A great TED Talk with global speaker and writer Navi Radjou about Frugal Innovation, which was pretty mindblowing, to say the least. You can listen to his talks here. And you really really should, you will become a better human being for it or at least strive to be.

:: Another lovely breakfast seminar at sustainability agency Futerra where co-founder Solitaire Townsend talked about how they work with Theory of Change. Brilliant. (Incidently it seems like a pretty perfect place to work at...)

:: Geek Girl Meetup 2017 - Geek Evolution. A day of geeky unconference talks by inspiring women only. In a mad world there are so many great projects out there!

Since it has been another busy month I haven't had time to really think a lot about my need for grief counselling. But I have got some nice tips of people I'm going to look up. When you're busy with practical things, with inspiring stuff, there's no time for those difficult thoughts. It's when you have to reflect they come. So yes, when the time is right I will do something about it.

This past month I've also thought a lot about how difficult it seems to be to find my kind of people work-wise. I may be a bit of an oddball, but I never thought my reasonable needs for regular solitude, flexibility and general decent behaviour could be so at odds with many workplaces still. It may be naïve but I really thought a lot had happened since I was employed years ago. Seems alas it hasn't.

Or perhaps it's just the usual case of there's a time and place for everything and when we find eachother, that illusive workplace with my kind of people and I, everything will finally feel awesome, right and we'll create magic together.

My quest continues.

from cone of shame to hip post-operative suit

It was a miserable couple of days with the cone for the little red miss. I have never ever seen a cat so hysterical over having to wear the shameful cone (and I never ever want to see one again). She refused to eat, use the box and she ended up peeing all over me before I got enough and thought I'd try making a post-operative-suit from an old sock.

A kind blog-reader had already offered to send me the snazzy suit she had for her little dog after surgery, but that would take a day or two to get here in the mail. So awaiting that I decided this could be an option.

A regular little sock would be too small but a knee-sock would do, so I sacrificed one. Cut holes for the head and heine plus all for legs. I'm surprised how immediately relieved she was having to wear that instead of the cone. Initially she moved a bit awkwardly but only next morning she was more or less her usual self. So happy to be able clean herself, eat and use the litter box.

She has been super-cuddly and chatty in her little hip suit all week. In fact I think it has worked so very well that I'm contenplating that with some tweaks this would work well as a little side-business - upcycled old socks turned unpretentious post-operative suits for cats and small dogs.

Tomorrow the stitches will be removed by the vet, I hope he'll appreciate my creative solution to the cone problem.

I also hope Zigne will stay true to her new and chat/cuddle-improved self (we've comforted eachother so well all week). And that it isn't a case of 'the clothes make the cat'.

farewell tooth

Today was what hopefully will be the very last dentist visit for this year (touch wood). And it was quite unpleasant since it was all about tooth-drawing. It was surprisingly unpainful as such, but when the anaesthesia drifted off - which was administered with a supersized syringe most probably suitable as a horse tranquilizer - the jaw was really painful and tender for some hours. And I had myself a little pity party since I couldn't even have a cup of tea for some hours.

It feels better now. And I have eaten without much trouble. I'm still surprised at how little, if at all, pain I feel in the the part where the tooth was drawn. But the jaw where the syringe was used is quite sore, and I'd imagined that it will continue to be for days still.

I feel sad that a tooth is now lost forever, time and a lot of filling on top of eachother can do that. But I'm grateful it isn't a visible tooth and I will most likely not replace it with a super-costly fake tooth. It hasn't been of much use for some years now and I've been able to work around it, I can't see why I wouldn't be able to continue doing so. My denist gave me two other (costly resp super-costly) options - in some months when the new dental situation has adjusted itself - but assured me that one can live perfectly well without the tooth.

Fingers crossed the next time I visit the dentist will be for a check-up next year.

PS The adorable monochrome mogwai art I spotted in the subway on my way home, it perfectly illustrated my mood du jour. DS

my health necessities

Yes I've blogged about my essential supplements before, but this time they've been joined by the little gang I'm oh so grateful for helping me keep colds and flus at bay these days. Since I began taking the supplements in 2011 - 

I'm ashamed to admit it took me so long realising that despite a varied, vegetarian diet with lots of veggies I still lacked essential vitamins and minerals. 

And what's probably even more shocking is that not a single doctor I visited when I was at my all time low that year asked me about my diet and possible deficiencies... - 

I'm rarely sick and down with flus (touch wood) and when I do get them they are much much milder and last about a week, not nearly as bad as tin can woman and her friends. Touch wood twice.

And I do believe that the fact that I'm addicted to the goodness and benefits of fresh ginger and ginger in general now has helped greatly fighting germs and infections.

So apart from linseed oil capsules (Omega 3 for vegetarians, vegans and everyone really. Skip the fish oil Omega 3, that's such an unnecessary process when you can have nature's own goodness in the shape of linseed oil!), vitamin D2 and B-12 I regularly have fresh ginger in juices and smoothies and food.

When I have the unfortune to still getting a cold or flu I drink the Asian ginger tea which is basically grounded, dry ginger. You mix it with hot water and drink it. It's super strong and very hot and helps a lot. I usually drink two ginger tea bags during a one week's cold. 

And eat a few of those lovely ginger candy chews with tapioka.

I also find that in Germany you can find really great herbal cough drops, like these ginger ones last summer.

So, what are your health necessities, 

preventive and relieving?

pink haybales

This summer pink haybales have been visible in fields all over Sweden. I think they're lovely in themselves but it turned out that they are actually a very clever part of the breastcancer awareness campaign. 

High visibility, usefulness, simplicity and for a good cause. It's far from often those three go hand in hand in marketing. I applaude the initiative.

goodbye august 2015

To be honest, despite the trip to Skåne and Copenhagen and glorious summer weather all month, you have not been a good month, August.

A few sneezes on August 7 and the unexpected runny nose and tiredness from 2012 was back. I now realise it's some kind of allergic reaction to something airborne. And since I'm sceptical to doctors obviously, given that no doctor managed to do back in 2012 even with all those tests upon tests upon tests namely identify the reason for this nose nuisance, I've simply taken over-the-counter nose-sprays and pills to try and take control over it. The nose and annoying accompanying cough have become less prominent and I don't feel as tired as I initally did anymore. Brain is back. And that is a huge relief.

Unfortunately I had some weird setback last week when I suddenly experienced muscle pain, stiff neck, shoulders and headache. Kind of like with a really bad cold but at the same time not at all. To be honest it was pretty awful, a combination of painkillers, vetevärmare (wheat warmer) and fresh carrot/ginger juices made that go away after some days.

But of course, low energy levels pretty much all August have left me feeling pretty blah, uninspired and melancholic. And to be honest, once again, it was no fun at all to wake up to another sunny day every.single.day.all.month - it was just difficult to breath with no rain in sight.

It was a real confirmation on how deeply I appreciate diverse weather and seasons to ever being able to live in a climate where it's pretty much the same weather day in day out all year round.

So despite being very sad to saying goodbye to the summer of 2015 - which has been lovely in general, but for the last month - I am truly glad to say bye bye to you, August. I will not be sad to see you go. And I'm hoping, wishing and finger-crossing vehemently that September will be just wonderful. And the nose nuisance and mysterious health setbacks will soon be a (unfortunately not so distant) memory. Onwards and upwards. And wonderful new adventures ohoy.

ginger herb coughdrops

Briefly mentioned I got a cold during the last days in Berlin. So so grateful it didn't happened upon arrival, that would have been truly awful.

Found these ginger herb coughdrops - seriously not bonbons at all, whatever where they thinking giving this very effective cold remedy a candy status?? - in Germany and they kept me (reasonably) sane all the long way back home to my own bed. As I always lose both my sense of smell and taste a few days in to a cold I couldn't really tell if they tasted good all I know is that they were really strong and that inside the hard drop there's soft, gooey ginger paste. My throat loved them.

I remember I bought another tin of special coughdrops at a pharmacy in Wittenberg some years ago, they have been brilliant too.

Go figure you have to go to Germany to get decent herbal remedies in coughdrop shape, Swedish coughdrops that make a difference like this do not exist alas.

I most certainly don't plan to get a cold anytime soon again (touch wood) but at least I do have some of these aweseom ginger herb non-bonbons left for whenever that happens next time.

goodbye august

To be honest I'm glad to see you go. Since you've been a general disappointment. On a professional as well as personal level. Add to that on a weather as well as health level.

A prolonged cold leaving me feeling blah most of the month. A hot summer that was cut abruptly in early August and lots of rain (oh rain where were you in the heat of July?). Work related issues, friendship issues.

On the bright side - plenty of work, some rather decent food memories, a pair of shoes that turned out to be keepers and always sweet cat moments. Oh, and I did get my reading mojo back! And there was the annual flower picking, always soothing for the soul and my office window sill looks lovely again. For that I am grateful.

Still, overall far from the month I had hoped, worked and wished for.

So bye bye August, to be honest I can't say I'm glad to have met you. All your acting up on my behalf probably served a purpose, so far unknown, but it has made me sad and blue - unlike July - wistful and a tad weary. I need to refill the happy account asap. And I need to move forward, setting new goals. Because what may seem like a loss to me, is really much more a loss to those who chose to go another way. It's just the topsy turviness, the serendipity of it all that has gotten me out of balance.

I'm sure September will be a very fine month, I'm beginning work with something new and fab this week. I do hope for many days of Indian summer. There's the upcoming election which I have every faith will bring good changes. There's a great dinner planned with fellow yelpers. And by the end of the month I'm going to Gothenburg again, which is always a treat. And who knows how much awesomeness lies in between? It's a blank canvas of... anything amazing can happen!

Have a wonderful month of September,
may the magic be with you!

the colourful life of prosit

One thing I most adamantly practise everyday at work is the importance of surrounding yourself with beauty and inspiration. And that really doesn't have to be anything flash and grand - and living in a house that is very much more chaos than grandness overall, that's not even possible. But at least the office is a calm haven. And I need both - because the beauty is most often found in the details. Of course. But not obvious to everyone.

So today, on a day when I'm still in the claws of the cold - really, how much snot does one head contain? And is there no limit to the amount of coughs in one day? Plus, how long of a holiday have Mr Scent and Ms Taste decided to take? Not to mention, earblockage due to swollen membranes what is that good for? - but still needed to get work done, I enjoyed the small things of prettiness and colour. Like

• a large glass of fresh ginger and carrot juice ie orange in pink
• the fact that a new project system I'll be working with has a very pink name
• that I found some pink paperclips in my pink office that are heartshaped
• that when I was to sit down in my very pink, favourite garden chair to drink my juice and read the user guide for the new project system with a very pink name a prosit sister (red in genetics but orange/ginger to the eye) came to my aid. Because clearly you can never have too many helping paws
• nor too much pink or orange in your life
• or heart shaped matters
  

the shoes are keepers and other fine things du jour

A week later I've decided that the shoes I discarded as cheap bling looking and not at all for me are indeed rather fine anyway. Because a) in another light they're not as shiny metallic as I first thought b) they're not bling in a tacky, tasteless (animal printsy) i wanna grab a millionaire bling but more of a summer fun dash of a bling like c) look lovely with a tan d) just as comfortable, cute and kind looking as their red siblings e) little miss redhead agrees. Ie they're keepers. Inaugurated today and de-lovely.





A week later I also painted both toe- and fingernails in the same monochrome but perky colour (Essie Turquoise & Caicos) and left the house for the first time since the cold struck. Far from fully recovered, but still back on the life track one might say.



And it was for a dinner date and fika with my bestie fellow happy muse. Lovely dinner, lovely talking, lovely fika. Well hello there best soy latte in the whole wide world at favourite cafe it's been a very long time no see or drink!



The cooler weather, the being out in public again, the food, the coffee and most of all the company and the conversation left me really inspired and invigorated. A day of very fine things that made me most happy.

How was your day?

meet the spokescat for remote control coma

When you're feeling poorly even lifting and operating the remote control is hard labour. Then for this task one has (if lucky) cats. This one, a Prosit sister, has been very helpful during these poorly days of nasty cold in the middle of the summer heat. Alas all that lifting and operating the TV and HD remotes has left her all exhausted.



This is what they call remote control coma. And behold the perfect spokescat for the affection. It's supposedly a temporary state, so as I'm feeling slightly better now (being able to take control over the remote) she can go back to doing what she any cat does best, namely sleep. And I'm sure she'll be her usual self soon.

As will I. Still in a state of cold, but definitely feeling on the right track back to the state of myself. Also feeling rather animated over the week to come. Eager for and expectant about good news and fresh projects. And look tonight there's a beautiful full moon, that's such a gorgeous and promising way to start a new week with, wouldn't you agree?

Have a lovely one ~

dear ginger & co

Whatever did I do before I realised you were so awesome? In any shape or form, you rock!

Also, apparently tomato soup cravings is the new thing when having a cold. And as my usual self I do not even enjoy tomato soup or sauces, but hey it has screamed my name these past few days. 

Ginger and tomato, my new bff when in a state of cold.

three grumps with gratitude linings

The cats are very sympathetic regarding the weather. We all agree it does turn our brains a bit mushy. The high humidity doesn't help, 25C would be a pleasing temperature if it wasn't for that. 

The weather report says it should cool down for a few (!) days now. But since weathermen are about as reliable as politicians I wouldn't bet on that information being accurate.

So one day at a time, not being as productive as usual but at least getting the necessary jobs and stuff done. I want my energy back! But I'm grateful for the feline heatwave support.

A freshly made juice is extra lovely in this heat. Today however I put some extra ginger in it since I felt a bit of itch in the throat. Unfortunately it didn't help. There's a distinct sore throat now. A cold will be an extra nasty thing in hot weather, I know. Not the cold I'm looking for at this time. Well at least it was ages since I last suffered from one. And I will be popping ginger chews and make more juice with a massive amount of fresh ginger from here on.

The other day I may have accidently slipped on the keyboard hitting the order shoes-button - yes, such a button exists - and today they arrived. And they were a huge disappointment. The information and pictures told a different story than reality. 

The model is the same as the recent red Camper ones - and they have surprisingly been one of my best summer shoes ever, very very comfortable and airy - but they were suppose to be orange fabric. Instead they turned out to be very cheap looking, not orange but shiny bling fabric. I loath shiny bling things. 

And fabric was only the outer material, the rest was leather. I obviously still buy leather shoes but when I buy something that says material: textile I do expect it to be just that/vegan. Tomorrow I'll return them. 

I'm glad that this rarely is the case when I get shoes online, in fact I think this is the first time. And, well, ahem, I might have my eyes sey on another pair of feet beauties, that might possible be a better buy. Perhaps.

Three personal grumps. I'm glad there are grump objects related matters to be grateful for.

on the pia day

As usual, February 22 is a very distinguished day, it's Pia day! (Granted not only my own day, but everyone who shares this grand name's day.) So what did I do to make it a bit special and lovely? Well this;

• Went outside for the first time since Tuesday (when the cold struck) - I'm not completely well yet, snivel, cough and tired, but still fresh air and walking was great.
• Had a special breakfast - although neither sense of smell nor tastebuds work as they should yet. But sometimes you're okey with just the memory and notion of how lovely it usually is.
• The sun made a surprise visit and stayed all day, yay!
• Managed (the way only I can...) to find a pair of special boots on sale - it has become more and more obvious that this is apparently one of my specialities. I hope the colour turns out to be just as sunny and fabulous as it is on screen, because who wouldn't want to walk in sunshine?!
• Had not only one, but two fresh juices overloaded with ginger (one was the above carrot, spinach, apple, kiwi, more fun to look at than pleasing to drink I suspect. But darn good for you!) - ha, take that, cold!
• Had a semla.
• Woke up ridiculously early and went to bed like a granny on a Saturday evening.

All and all it was a pretty great day of a name day I have to say. 

When I was little I really didn't like my name, it was too short and uninteresting, a bit silly (and apparently the most common name for bitches in Sweden. Bitch as in dog.) and childish. I wanted a *real* girl's name like Charlotte, Camilla, Catharina, Pernilla or Susanna and such. As a grown up I really enjoy my name, it's not a very common name but still common enough to feel very Swedish. Easy to say, rather fun and perky somehow and I've never had any unwanted or ugly nickname. 

Pia is derived from the Latin name Pius which means "pious" - definitely not one of my features. But I'm well-known for having an innocent zero set poker face, while my brain is pretty much always filled with not so innocent thoughts, analyzing people and situations. Maybe it's a common feature of women named Pia?

My middle name is Karina (with a name day on May 7), also a Latin derivation from Carinus/Carus which means "beloved". What a lovely meaning to carry around in one's name! I enjoy having the "K" as a middle name initial, but I'm more comfortable with my three letters first name. It's easy and unpretentious to carry around. And rather fun.

How about you, do you enjoy your name?
Always or have you grown to accept it?
What's your favourite name/s and why?

when life hands you lemons

You can of course make lemonade or bake a scrumptious cake. Or as in my case right now, get a darn cold apparently. It's been a year since the last one and it's been a grand year with lots of work and of good things happening.

All that work and then a few recent setbacks and professional nuisancery have most shaped this cold (despite all that fresh juice!) so now I try and be a kind and caring employer of me, myself and I. And drinking more carrot and ginger juice. In order to get back on the inspirational mojo track asap.

What do you do when life hands you lemons?

a strawberry pastry

'caus i was worth it (ain't one always?)

'caus i could faintly smell the lilacs again

'caus the sun shone and it was the last day of may

have a lovely weekend one and all!

the lilacs time of the year

It is such a pretty, delicate time of the year, the time of lilacs in bloom.



Next year I hope there'll be a special white hedge in bloom too, but for now there is purple.



Unfortunately for me, I have a terrible cold (again, it's only two months since last, sigh) and neither smell nor flavour is something I can enjoy at the moment. But I hope, I really really, do, that the lilacs in bloom will linger on a while so me and my nose can enjoy them too.

easter shoe per diem 2013

The only pair of shoes I had planned on inaugurating - my own personal Easter tradition being inaugurating of a new pair of shoes... - during Easter was the fabulous granny square ones.

But I ended up with a fun new personal tradition, four different shoes for four different days. And no, not four new pairs (I may be slightly shoe mad, but not quite as mad), but special and fun just the same.

Maundy Thursday and Good Friday; the pink birthday boots (El Naturalista Dome)

Easter Saturday; the fabulastic granny square boots (ART shoes), such a pity the weather, despite a surprisingly generous amount of sunshine these past few weeks, is still so cold, ice and snow around and the fabulasticness was slightly misplaced in company with winter clothes.

Easter Sunday; my favourite tall boots, the awesome blue ones (El Naturalista Tesela)

Easter Monday; last year's Easter inauguration, the end of project red treat. Very cute and moodlifting, but to be honest, the right one is a killer for my heel, not sure if it's my foot or the design/particular shoe, the left one is perfectly comfortable. I hope the discomfort will change with more wear, I hope foot will allow more regular wear...

Obviously Easter was a splendid weekend from a shoe point of view. There were sunshine, blue skies, decent food and great fika moments. But always present, not quite tangible, undercurrents of worry and melancholy that just wouldn't let go.

Probably due to a blend of six weeks since little loaf passed away, an overall long, hard winter that refuses to welcome spring completely, the aftermath of the sinusitis and jaw infection add a general worry of this and that and then some, life as is. Weltschmerz and being the worrying kind, sometimes those matters are harder to put aside than others.

Looking back I think Easter 2011 was a really lovely one, granted Easter then was nearly a month later than this year, weather allowing for lighter shoes. But looking back I also remember so many other things then were simply miserable, those things I do not wish to revisit at all. So in many ways, life is better now, but despite that melancholy is, for other reasons, my close companion. Some days more than others, this is life. Easter or not. One day I might even embrace or celebrate that feeling, melancholy is in its own way strangely beautiful. Though not yet, I'm not there quite yet.

Goodbye Easter, you are still my favourite holiday, melancholia or not.

saturday in frames

grateful for pills doing their job.
sunshine, blue skies, colours.
heart.