Friday, September 30, 2022

bye september, welcome october 2022


On the very verge of October (my birthday month!) I’m not sure where September went really. I know I said something about having more things to digitally pen down about August, in the previoust post, but I’m not sure what that was. 

And my life is pretty much about one day at a time, a week, a month right now, since the pandemic to be honest. It’s all about survival mode and not really about living to the fullest these days. I suppose that’s rather sad to realise, but at the same time it is what it is right now and I try to accept and (reluctantly) just embrace it. 

The world is such a crazy, ignorant, violent place in these times, so apart from trying to be a kind, inspiring, compassionate, feminist, vegan, sustainability concious human being living and surviving, amidst all the societal, planetary and personal chaos, it’s really hard to be more than that. I  don’t expect anything anymore, too jaded. I may have dreams and wishes still, but do I feel there’s a point to have any specific long term personal goals anymore? No, sadly I’m not. The world is so volatile, pretty much anything can happen at any time now. It is what it is. And yes I worry a lot (which I know is like paying rent on a loan not yet taken). Including about rising food and electricity prices, mortgages and the climate change weather.

My little pockets of joy keeps me going, and my head above the water.

I’m certainly not singing in the rain, and I worry about my roof that really really needs replacing too… But colour and pattern combinations are still one of my most reliable little pockets of joy. 

And on Marimekko you can trust to get plenty of that.

I really really enjoy my new rain/autumn coat (it was on summer sale) in the classical Unikko pattern. And that day when the photo was taken it was still warm enough for bare legs, amidst pouring rain. I got my 2nd covid booster that day too. Which I think is pretty neat to have done. Seems like plenty of people, not in risk groups (they’ve already gotten a third booster), in Sweden opt out of that as things are, but I don’t think it’s an option, and getting a booster is caring for others as well as myself and not least medical staff.

I’m less happy about my hair though. As much as I’ve reluctantly accepted the greys, I’m fretting about its thinning. My nails have grown like crazy during all the pandemic handwashing and handcreams, the hair has chose another way. It may not be truly visible to anyone but myself, but for me it’s just another disappointing setback on a string of setbacks…

And still no news from the court of appeal about my furry family. It continues to hurt as hell to have been subjected to this kafkaesque witch hunt from a Swedish authority, labelling me as a danger to animals, a mental, unstable menace to society basically. The utter madness is just mindboggling, not in my wildest fantasies could I ever ever EVER have imagine something like this could happen to me. This crazy situation has of course taken its toll too. 

I do enjoy meeting, cuddling with sweet dogs (and occasionally cats) when I’m out walking, but at the same time I feel dirty and saddened as I’m labelled as unfit to care for animals. And the only reason for that being my beloved Pelle running away from the garden 1,5 years ago and getting acutely ill, and right from the start they were dead set on accusing me of being the unfit cat owner causing his acute situation. I was judged from the very start, no matter how much evidence I had of the opposite. 

So I’m just waiting, and desperately hoping, for reason to finally step in at the court of appeal. That’s really all I can do now. And surviving another day, week, month, through little pockets of joy and things that need to be done. Not all that I would like to accomplish, but matters that simply needs doing.

It feels like I’m living on fumes alone. That’s not really a nice situation. But yeah, it is what it is currently. And totally out of my hands and my control. Which isn’t something I relish, as a capable, educated, reasonably smart human being I like to have things under control, as much as anyone of us can of course. This is certainly not how I expected 2022 to turn out.

”Funny” how life is.

And don’t get me started on the truly dispiriting outcome of the Swedish elections. Oh my, seriously, there just is no end to people’s ignorance, selfishness and stupidity… 

At the end of September I finally inaugurated the fantastic Stand with Ukraine duo tights I got from Snagtights in May. They worked very well with the vegan sustainable sneakers I got from Swedish brand Icebug a few months ago - 

and yes their Eli RB9X model is just as great as people rave about, it took a while to get used to their style and fit, but once the feet adjusted to the unique model they’ve been so very comfortable and no blisters in sight. Yes, another treasured little pockets of joy-moment… -

and colours, oh I do love you. 

Saying goodbye to September I try to remember the beauty and fine moments there were. Even if not nearly enough ones, they were there. And I also try to hold on to hope and dreams, trusting that illusive process, amidst chaos, angst and sleepless nights. 

Thank you, September, for all your lessons, and little joyful moments. And your generosity with apples.

As we say hello to colourful October, we also say welcome to World Vegetarian Day on October 1, followed by the whole month dedicated to vegetarianism. Leading up to World Vegan Day on November 1, and vegan month of course, which is naturally even better for everyone on this planet. If you want to make something special in celebration of a more sustainable lifestyle on this October 1, I suggest baking something plantbased (why not with aquafaba?) and serve it with whipped dairyfree cream. A dessert truly for the future, if you’re interested in a compassionate, liveable future that is. 

I welcome you dearest October, with my deeply heartfelt hopes and dreams, can you please please pretty  p l e a s e  be kind, caring and generous and bring positive new beginnings? 


Thursday, September 01, 2022

hello autumn, farewell summer 2022


’Mirror mirror on the wall…’

September, and autumn is suddenly upon us. After heatwaves continuing in August, and indoors was still the most pleasant way to be, temperatures have dropped drastically. It feels weird. And sad. Because summer this year was a huge disappointment and a very draining affair, to be honest. Despite taking comfort in my little pockets of joy, it was rough. I don’t believe I have ever felt relaxed and energized after these past few summers, as I most always felt prior to the hellish summer # 1 in 2018. 

I remember 2019 being a lovely one, but from 2020 the climate emergency has been so obvious it is hart impossible to feel anything but angst. With all the idiots - sorry, not other word apply so perfectly for people living in denial thinking they can continue their wasteful, ignorant, business as usual lives and someone else should pick up the bill - ignoring the gravity in our shared situation, it is truly beyond surreal.

I also feel there’s been a mental change out there post-covid (which isn’t really post obviously, I’m scheduled for my second booster in a couple of weeks), a general lack of empathy, more elbows less kindness. It’s not super nice to step into the outside world, it’s cold and un-welcoming. Like most everyone suffers from brain injury ĂĄ la post-covid, and it has removed empathy. Anyone else getting the same vibes?

The polling stations opened last week, the Swedish election isn’t until September 11, but it’s much nicer to ✅ that box well before that date. There’s only one Green Party (with a notion to keep their influence in the government) straight talking about the climate emergency. Every other party ignore the seriousness in the most crazy ways. It is downright scary. And this has been the nastiest Swedish election campaign ever. Post-covid nasty. The most horrid low water mark after another, mostly from the right-wing climate denying parties obviously. 

I ticked my ballots yesterday, and so did little mum. We had planned a nice little city outing. But most everything went wrong from trying to find a way in at the polling station, the access wasn’t very good, and getting home and realising I had missed to send and invoice for money that was due August 31… Luckily that could be fixed. But this image of little mum dropping my much anticipated soy latte on the train station is a very apt image for what the last day of August, of summer 2022, felt like… Well, pretty much ALL  summer really. 

I can’t really put in to words how desperately I NEED for September, and the rest of this year, to show up with positive news and new beginnings. I’m sure I am far from the only one feeling this, but this is my world, and my blog so there you are…

I had more August matters to digitally pen down, but I’ll save that for another soonish post I think. As clock is ticking closer to midnight on these latitudes now.

I’m still waiting for the court of appeal to make a decision about my furry darlings and living in limbo over that has obviously taken its toll. They are so very very very missed. Ztina and Ågot. My best little furry buddies. A home without a cat isn’t really a home.

Please please please September be kind, and if you offer news and surprises do make them joyful only and I would be oh so grateful for plenty of them!

Thank you August, I’m sure you gave me meaningful lessons I don’t fully appreciate yet. At least you showed up every day. Bye bye, summer.

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