spring equinox frustrations, and sprinkles of gratitude

This will be yet another post without photos.

I still can’t upload any photos to Blogger. And as I basically do everything on my phone these days and changing the Google account settings on the phone obviously is not working, no matter how much I try to follow instructions.

At this stage even my frustration is getting frustrated.

This post, like others before, would be much more pleasing if accompanied by photos. But it is what it is.

The struggle is real, but one day I will have it sorted.

This day is not today. But here are a little compilation of little good things that have happened lately. 

I do not retract anything from the previous blog post. But sometimes small things can lift the overwhelming blah. And give you energy to continue to fight another day, week, possibly month…

I just wish life wasn’t so much a fight, for very basic things. 

Back to the good things list:

:: Sold a very pleasing amount of, mainly, clothes and shoes on Tradera and Vinted last week Which was a much welcome surprise (especially after the Danish woman who scammed me a few months back - didn’t loose money per se, but it was one of those occurances that chipped away on my trust. And left me wasting energy, time and lost potential sales. And whatever was her end goal?? There were zero things to gain by that behaviour. Zero. 🤦🏻‍♀️)

:: Returned the last library book I had at home. And plan to focus on finish at least five from my old book heap before I borrow any more again.

Never underestimate how accomplished such seemingly insignificant, trivial things can make you feel.

:: Treated myself to an oat latte (two months ago since) and a bakery levain last week. 

And bought a bunch of vegetables at reasonable prices, which was a long time since that was the case. Grocery prices are ridiculous here too, thank you so much for that Orange Idiot, Genocidal Terror State and East Invasion Dictator. 

So every opportunity to get grocery shopping done at a reasonable price must be seized. Who knows what will happen next.

:: Last week was all about the sun. And I decided to finally have a go at an outfit I’ve wanting to try ever since I got my Marimekko Unikko jacket last year. But weather confitions haven’t allowed me since now. 

A woolly sweater under a denim jacket, surely that would be perfect? As I haven’t had a decent denim jacket since my early 20ies, every basic combination feels like a revelation of flair and ingenuity. 

And yes it turned out great. Not too cold with the denim jacket and the woolly sweater added the perfect warmth without being to sticky on a sunny, early spring day.

However yesterday turned colder, and today it rained. Tomorrow there’ll be morersin and then there have even been rumours about snow again. 🥶

:: This past weekend was the last weekend of semlor (plur.) being sold at favourite Bageri Passion. As there had been zero semla in this residence this year, a visit to get 4 vegan semlor was practically a must.

We enjoyed a couple of them immediately upon returning home. They were perfection! Decided to put the remaining ones in the fridge and enjoy for Sunday breakfast.

Turned out to be a bad decision, the buns were dry and the whipped cream had kind of evaporated over night. Wish we had gulped them all down on Saturday. Well, at least one semla experience 2026 was perfect. And well deserved.

:: The other day I was approached by someone claiming to be an executive recruiter from a US company. For obvious reasons I’m very… hesitant to have anything to do with US companies these days.

And not to mention the recruitment fraudsters having become even more sophisticated with the rise of AI.

The job presented sounded amazing. Though the salary range was kind of obscene to be true. And does working in such a corporate setting really align with my values? And best use my skills, let me do good for change and shine in the right way. 

There is no time for business as usual. And apart from the unheard of salary range (for a Senior Communications Strategist position) there were other little warning signs that surely this was just too good to be true, that the set up was fake, so I decided not to waste my time and pursuit it.

We are living in even more precarious times than ever and my trust in people and opportunities have definitely been chipped away already over the years.

It is sad that dark forces, evil, greedy people, capitalism, ignorance, stupidity and violence have caused so much harm to this world. When we all would grow and be happier, healthier decent human beings with more solidarity, equality, caring and compassion.

Stay safe, be kind.

💚💚💚💚💚

how do i thrive and shine again?

The problem with uploading photos to Blogger returned, shortly after I published my last post. And no matter all the suggestions from Google/Blogger I’ve tried to rectify it nothing has worked alas.

Which feels like a perfect symbol for my general life currently. I am stuck.

It does not help seeing old white greedy genocidal clinically insane or senile men ruling the world and bringing us to the brink of World War III. 

It really does not.

It does not help I still haven’t found a new regular, reliable income source again. It doesn’t even have to be THE illusive dream job or dream client. I just need something/someone stable I can trust and hopefully shine and thrive from again.

I miss feeling joy. 

I miss feeling hope.

I miss the feeling of thriving and shining.

I miss feeling appreciated.

I miss meaningfulness.

I miss uploading photos to Blogger.

I miss my creativity.

I miss my pre-menopausal hair, skin, body. But that’s just a blimp compared to the other things I miss. My energy is better spent on other matters.

It’s difficult to do and feel otherwise in this timeline we call now. How do you thrive, not only survive these days?

When people around you have either gone awol basically since the pandemic, choose to remove themselves from your life - 

and you can’t be bothered to try and reconnect since they clearly for reasons unknown have moved on with their lives but opted out from including you in those lives - 

or you yourself have realised you don’t have much in common with the people you once called friends anymore.

Connections have been lost, and I simply don’t have the energy to care anymore. Have you?

When the lack of money and resources is so draining you basically only have the energy to read, watch TV, cook simple things, cuddle cats (the only reason for surviving), take naps but rarely sleeping well all through the night.

When the ridiculously high energy prices this freezing winter forces you to settle for sub par indoor temperatures, merely focus on surviving another day and a constant longing for warmer days again.

When the fact that the combination of a master degree in law and extensive experience in various communications fields plus a lifestyle/interests dedicated to sustainability, kindness and compassion means xxxx all when you search for meaningful new paths in life.

Well, then you have reached the point where it is truly truly truly difficult to see the meaning of it all. And that feeling is not something I’m familiar with. 

Even trough tough times I’ve been able to trust in hope, solutions and bright new beginnings and kind endings. Felt joy in small everyday miracles, beautiful things and beings around me.

I do suspect I’m not alone having finally reached this point after some rough years, where it feels like we’ve been through a tumble dryer on high speed time and time again.

Where is the beauty? Where do I go from here?

Where do you? Where do we?

🌱🐞🌱🕊️🌱🦋🌱🐝🌱