living in a real life kafka novel 2022

 

I have been living in a state of shock and utter disbelief since the very end of March when the madness of how authorities in Sweden act has turned me into a crying, anxious, sleep deprived mess. 

During the year after my darling Pelle ran away in April and turned ill https://piaks.blogspot.com/2021/04/goodnight-sweet-pelle-2005-2021.html I have been forced to defend myself from the county administrative board’s allegations that according to them he must have been showing signs of illness for quite some time - while I, having lived with and loved him for 16 years, know he didn’t. And I have obviously plenty of photos to prove that. And he would not have had the strength to get out of my fenced in garden had he been in poor condition.

To cut a long, weird, crazy, unbelievable and very worrisome year long story short, everything I’ve said and all evidence I’ve showed have been brushed aside, they’ve deemed me unfit to be a pet owner and ordered me to, I quote ’get rid of the animals you may still have in your home’. 

That one short moment at the unknown vet when Pelle turned poorly (I’m guessing it may have been his kidneys or some other internal organs that failed him during those few hours he was out) is the only basis for the decision, my extensive knowledge of cats (including those 20 years as a small, well-renowned British Shorthair breeder) and my 16 years loving that amazing cat means nothing. 

The decision writing is degrading, nasty and unprofessional, not what you would expect from an authority. They question my mental capacity, my lack of insight and decisiveness to take, what they claim to be, a sick cat to the vet.

As a vegan and animal lover I would never ever intentionally cause harm and ignore suffering in neither my own animals nor any other. That goes against the very core of me, everything I stand for and live by

And no matter all the vet papers and receipts of the other cats I’ve taken to the vet both before and after Pelle’s tragic ending - it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever that I would not have taken Pelle to the vet if he too had shown signs of being poor - according to them nothing still shows I do have lots of mental capacity, insight and decisiveness. It is not a question of neglecting to care for my cats or them living in poor conditions. It’s only a question of my mental capacity. 

The madness, the kafkaesqueness of it all. I feel so violated, dirtied and plague-infected. Diminished, worthless and powerless. Things like this just do not happen. It feels like a witch-hunt.

I appealled to a higher court, I did hope for a final voice of reason. Instead things got even more twisted and bizarre and they too brushed aside everything I said. I’m a bad person. They are right, I am wrong, period.

The two cats left, my precious darlings, Ztina and Ågot, who both mean the world to me and have been such a comfort and joy for 10 years, not least after M passed away and then the pandemic isolation, will now have to move to my mum while I continue to fight this absolute nightmare to the next court.

It’s neither in their best interest to be forced to move home, nor in mine. We are family and this should simply not happen.

If I had a treasure chest full of gold I would be able to hire a lawyer (I haven’t practised law since the early 00ies and this was not my area) who specializes in cases like this (if this can happen to me it can happen to anyone who has pets who run away and get sick), but alas I have not. I have a friend who still practises law but this is not her area of expertise, though she has still been of valuable support and help. But being a private citizen in Sweden up against authorities with no lawyer, that is a rough upphill battle.

Sweden in 2022, you have not impressed so far. I’m heartbroken, energy depleted, anxious 24-7, my joy for life is gone and I honestly do not know how to return back to my usual self.

I’ve always wanted to be able to find solutions myself, trying to figure things out and solve problems on my own. As much as I am up for helping others when they ask I am not one to ask for help myself. But now I do need help, but it isn’t easy to find. 

So internetz, Universe, do you have any help to send my way, I am in deep and desperate need of it.