hello december, bye november 2020

Anyone else feeling that in this small, restricted life in the times of Corona (9 months and counting. Nine. Months. And. Counting. Madness.) - even small, usually not very significant things in pre-corona life, are either hugely draining or super-inspiring?

When you don’t have the usual social interactions, and your brain basically never get the regular zap it needs (after 10 months desperately so) you kind of shrink as a human being. At least it feels like it.

Emotions are always close at hand. Either you cry, are upset or extremely grateful and inspired by things like a proper oat latte or the fact that you’ve found the most amazing vegan sticky chocolate cake nearby (yes, at that place that sold the not-so-vegan almond pastry earlier this year). And about once a week you can fully enjoy a piece. 

Food has become more important than ever. Not eating more than before, but just talking, planning, cooking, savouring, feeling grateful for a lot more.

My November was both quite good (given the circumstances) and very bad. On the very bad side. The very very bad side. Was the fact that this sweetheart, Siri, passed away. Second kitty I’ve lost this year. 2020, the year that keeps on giving bad news. 

It’s a very fine line during these times between allowing yourself to grief and not allowing yourself to be fully absorbed by it. Because if you start grieving *too much* now, it feels like it would be a very downwards spiral of emotions from there on.

So I’m really sad and I miss her gentle, always purring presence A LOT. But I’m also immensly grateful for the 14 years we got together. She was never sick, always up for a cuddle, gentle, kind and she gave me the fabulastic Prosit sisters, Zigne and Ztina. She adored spending some time every evening upside down in M’s arms getting a proper belly rub. I never did get that position quite right. So I’m thinking they’re now reunited in another dimension, giving and getting the perfect belly rubs.

It wasn’t a good start of the week, having to carry a beloved dead kitty wrapped in a soft sheet, in a Marimekko box, in an IKEA bag to the vet for cremation. But there you are, and life is as what it is, even when it’s extra bumpy and rough you have to be practical. 

I’m writing this on my phone instead of the computer, it’s actually easier to upload photos that way. Not sure how it’ll look once published. But hey, tweaking is always possible. And it isn’t exactly a case of life and death.

I did decide to get a new iPhone. Finally giving up the landline I saved quite a lot of money. I’ve never ever gotten the brand new latest flashiest model, but settled for an older model always reduced in price. The camera has always been good enough. This time the latest flashiest model happened to be cheaper than the previous one though. So I went it. 

In an ideal world I would have gone for a pre-loved phone (not sure if the camera lens would have been pristine though...), but this isn’t an ideal world. And I’m not perfect that way.

So I guess my emotions are mixed, guilty for getting a new, expensive phone. Very happy and giddy over getting a new phone, with a remarkably good camera. Just look at those two remarkably adorable tykes on top of this post! Maybe the photo won’t be as good uploaded to Blogger via the phone, it probably won’t be as crisp and detailed as it really is. But still, you can imagine, you have to trust me.

I’m keeping this short, for realz, so time to wrap it up for this time. Everything is set for the Vegoforum - Vego in politics on Caturday (another day I’ll be a non-present disappointing hooman for most of the day). It’s going to be a great blend of speakers, scientists, environmental organisations and politicians on Zoom, I’m very much looking forward to it!

And after that event I’m going to finish the essay for my Sustainability Science course that I need to hand in on December 20. 

At the beginning of 2021 I really really REALLY need to finally finally FINALLY find my dream job. Because seriously, even if it’ll continue to be remote work still for some time, I do need to get sustainability magic happen with likeminded people for a decent salary (we all need to pay our bills and save up for a rainy day, with possible leaking roofs ya’ know).

I have 9 books to finish in order to reach the 55 books goal before New Years. Not sure it’ll happen, but I did my best during trying times. And at least I’ve read both the good, the very good, the bad and the ugly this year. That needs to be more than good enough.

I hope you’re having a decent life out there. Life is extra tough for us all currently. Some days are better than others. We just have to continue being kind to ourselves, and loved ones, plus decent to others. Enjoy the little things, treat yourself to good stuff and devour good food only.

Thank you, November, roller coaster of good and bad, resilience teacher you.

Hello, December, I’ve got my tea calendar and my vegan chocolate pralines dito, let’s rock this month with kindness and gratitude, shall we? And, needless to say, plenty of tea cups, cat cuddles and savouring of sweet moments! Onwards and upwards.