on the path to purpose and fulfillment

Writing about the things I do, see and live while I'm desperately trying to change direction in life (where some days feel more desperate than others) does honestly come more and more difficult. And by changing direction I obviously mean my quest for a job in line with my passion and skills, you know, the feeling that you've finally found your kind of people, with shared values, in your kind of place.

I've apparently been looking for two years now, tentatively at first, really focused this year. And still I don't seem to be any closer to that clearly illusive thing. I know, I know, what's meant to be will be, and every detour and bumpy road is a step closer to the right place and all that. But I would be lying if I didn't admit to being seriously jaded by the process now. It's exhausting. And infuriating, frustrating et al.

I really wanted to share some great news on the job front in this post. But alas I got a no today, for a job that I would absolutely have loved. Interview went great, felt like a great match. And the feedback was, again, lovely, they'd been smittened by me and had looked into the possibility of hiring two communicators instead of one, but hadn't come up with the funds for it currently. But who knows what might happen, let's keep in contact for the future and so forth. (The one they went for had a solid environmental background, which they deemed more important.)

That's all well and good, and I'm of course grateful and happy for the words, they give warm and fuzzy feelings, but it doesn't get me out of my getting nowhere-state or pay the bills.

So, back to looking for other jobs within sustainability communications. And back to crossing fingers, toes and paws with tiny claws the right place, the right company, the right organisation and my kind of people soon will cross paths with me and there will finally be metaphorical fireworks of happy heureka.

But obviously nothing will happen for about 8 weeks now as Sweden is (in)famous for closing down during the summer months. I'll do my very best trying to enjoy the summer - we've had reasonable temperatures and glorious rains so far, touch wood that'll continue to be the Swedish summer of 2019, please. I do not envy southern Europe, I remember how horrible, awful, devastating last summer was up here in the north - and continue to better myself in various ways.



Including reading books, I might even tick the box of 5 books in June. 3,5 so far. And my big goal is of course 5 books per month June, July and August. It has been quite enjoyable so far, spending time reading more than usual. That amidst everything I've actually rekindled with my reading mojo, go figure.



Since the last post I've also been to my accountant for signing of the annual closing papers - and for the second year in a row she did some kind of magic with it, as far as I'm concerned. And her dog, Maya, is of course über-cute as usual.



I've had good meals, cooked great things, met good people, walked and talked good matters, enjoyed my summer dress, there was Midsummer (which has of course never been anything I celebrate, I only appreciate its long weekend-feature) and I got myself a snazzy little red vegan handbag from Matt & Nat. Yes I'm trying to downsize what I carry in my handbag, wish me luck with that...

Oh, and I had a brief appointment with Dr Feist, a bit of an ear issue that was easily rectified. Hadn't seen her for 6 years, since all the health nastiness of 2012/13. But it was just like we've met last month, it was so nice to see her again and we had a good chat which as usual left me in a really good mood. Imagine that every doctor's appointment made you feel like that, upbeat and positive.



Even if I'm currently feeling rather disappointed about the promising job that wasn't meant to be, and struggle with a lot of frustration, I acknowledge that June has still been a rather lovely, overall month (despite the lack of blue hair). The gorgeous scent of mock orange has been heavy in my garden, Ztina has been doing better and I'm grateful for my always happy summer wardrobe of old and new (which is a superficial thing I know, but nevertheless, clothes in fabulous colours and patterns that look and feel great have always been such a pleasure to me).



In the last shivering days of the month I'm also watching Babylon Berlin, which is a very enjoyable for many reasons. It makes me miss Berlin even more, but I'm also ever so grateful I'm living here and now and not in the 1920ies. And I have a serious crush on "Zu Asche, zu Staub", magic.

This will most likely be the last post for the month of June, so thank you so much, sweet June, for all the valuable lessons you've given, for the sun and the rain, and for the treasured time to read. Another month older, another month wiser.