finding out more

I do believe I have entered a brand new year a little bit braver than I left 2017. I've dared a dash, I've said yes, I've said no, questioned status quo and embraced possibilities. Only a week in. Which doesn't mean I've stopped overthinking things, as my usual self naturally does.

Then suddenly the upcoming week also holds a very tangible situation to talk things through, finding out more, figuring the complex meringue status out. And as much as I do look forward to it, there is so much I want to know, I'm admittedly more emotionally afraid than I've been in a long time. For that I blame this intense past plus year, which has amongst all its lessons taught me I can not be in control of everything, not even my own reactions to every situation, every feeling.

But though I wouldn't call myself a controlfreak, nope not no nah, I don't relish the notion of losing my calm, my control - I've come so far, can I afford to loose myself? Or perhaps the most important questions is, can I afford not to?

Shall I simply trust that life has a much better way to sort things out the way they should be than my fearful soul could ever do by itself? I'm still redefining myself I suppose, and what my gut feeling knows I want and need, it scares my overthinking brain. My little, brave analyzing bestie, who I am so grateful for, but who sometimes need to simply let go but desperately refuses to. Old habits.

Needless to say I'm really looking forward to my oxytocin galore caturday. There are rumours of sun,  there will be cooking, eating, sleeping, music, cat cuddles and if weather permits, walking. And hopefully the overactive brain has decided to take a weekend break.



The week before the much needed upcoming caturday was spent with an optician visit, where I was told my vision had only had a slight change but that I showed signs of age related sight change. Hrmf, I beg to differ, I thought we had agreed that age is just a silly number? I did order a pair of new glasses (which are not the pink ones in the photo, believe it or not), but I was pretty miffed about that age related statement so even if my usual thing is to order two pairs I didn't. I can always change my mind within a month.



I've had an ipromptu fika with my childhood friend, which was extra lovely since we hadn't seen eachother for many months. I rarely do impromptu things like this, I'm such a planner. It's good to know I'm able to change little behaviours like that, all is not lost. Despite what the optician said.



I've spent time with a new fluffy BFF named Alice. Not my dog, not likely to be, but such a wee darling. Spending time with animals are always good for the soul. And mindfulness naturally rules.

I've worked, put my foot down, written, talked, cooked and done an interview about a fantastic sustainability project in Stockholm, that will be turned into an article (in Swedish). The Plantagon has such an interesting background, from vision, to founders, to organisation, to innovative solutions and technology. Sometimes people can be brilliant. And actually see that we are all connected. Which is heartwarming, in a rather overall bleak, disconnected world void of compassion.

Now, how about some music to get into a good weekend mood?

This week I've diversified a bit from my Haevn crush - but I do recommend Lovelorn (another piece with a mean guitar riff) and this wisfully beautiful We are



- since I adored the Kygo version of Take on me which made me so happy, I've discovered more remix favourites. Which basically are much better than the originals, as far as my ears are concerned. My four favorites are -

Let her go - Passenger remix, I don't like the original version at all, grown ups singing with baby voices does not rock my boat, just gives me the creeps.

I see fire - Ed Sheeran remix, admittedly a bit embarrassing I hadn't heard this before. But then again I really don't like the Lord of the rings movies. Loved the books, the movies are just overrated. And therefore I hadn't really paid attention to the music. Until now obviously. Adore this version!

I see you - Billy Raffoul, now that is on the other hand a great voice!



Seinabo Sey's original version is beautiful in itself, but this one fits my current mood better.

And now, welcome dear weekend, I need you. Let me relax a weary, overthinking mind and prepare to roll into a great week with invigorated steps, enliven thoughts and an open mind.