Curiosity Didn't Kill The Cat

I've always felt that one amazing thing about being alive, and human, and being blessed with living here and now, is that there's such a plethora of things to see, discover, experience, do and learn. Quite an overwhelming plurality of things to be curious about actually, if one gets thinking about the things one will never know...

But it wasn't about those things I set out to write but about the achievements made, the knowledge savored, the experiences added to my life story. I think most of us have those days when we seriously question our lives, what have I really done, have I lived, have I made a long-lived pawprint on planet earth, is this life, is this all there is, really? I know I do. Some days more than others. And yet others I'm just completely and utterly satisfied and content with what I've done and plan to do.

One thing most of us tend to do quite often is to compare ourselves and our own lives with others, preferably with the others we - or the society we live in - consider to be successful, living meaningful lives. Meaningful in this case either being stupendously rich or having put a compassionate and humanitarian pawprint in time. Preferably both entangled.

Those persons that have that certain Evinrudic energy drive and neverending passion for a cause most of us can't seem to muster. At least not all the time. Since we're just so very busy living in the here and now commanding our own lives. Busy surviving. Busy living. Busy being.

I very rarely regret the things I do, I more regret the things I don't or didn't do. The things never said. Perhaps not as much as I possibly once did, but it still happens. Although I've also learnt to live with me and my personality of being cautious, and I most always consider it being a healthy portion of self-preservation. But I suppose one can also look at it as a streak of fear and possibly cowardice.

So, even if it might be teensy-weensy things in the bravery realm of life, I do like to challenge myself on a regular basis. Oh, I will most certainly never ever be one reckless adventurer. Foolhardiness isn't bravery or important pawprint-material, as far as I'm concerned. It's just plain stupidity. Sad stupidity, since I think we owe it to life, to ourselves to have that healthy amount of self-preservation. But at the same time embrace life and living without being a complete coward. The brinkmanship of life.

I like myself better for every time I've actually accomplished something I never thought I'd do. I like myself better every time I've actually questioned something that needed questioning and it made a change in life, for me or someone else. Or when I asked a question fearing a possible no, getting that no, but still feeling rather satisfied with mustering the courage to at least ask. Since most often a no isn't the end of the world, it just means a slight detour. And who knows what exciting things might happen on a detour?

Perhaps this comparing with people *more successful* than ourselves is basically a good thing, a thing that makes us strive to be a better us. To be a more accomplished, compassionate human. Well, when all this comparison doesn't simply makes us green and envious, bitter and grudging. Which often is the case. Alas.

But life isn't always fair. Far from. And success, whatever that may be, most certainly doesn't always come to those who most deserve it, the most talented, compassionate, intelligent ones, the ones who work the hardest, the ones who have the most outstanding pawprint material.

Myself I take pride in rarely being envious of others. Honestly. Even though I can ponder a bit over things not being exactly well-deserved always, I also firmly believe that being a green grudge doesn't hurt anyone but myself. And everyone has their sorrows, setbacks, ups and downs, even the seemingly successful ones.

I believe things happen for a reason, perhaps not an obvious, perceivable reason here and now, but somewhere along the line of life. So whenever a slight case of green flutter in the back of my mind I grab that notion. And remembering all my own achievements and strenghts, the things I love about being me and myself.

Sure there are things I'd like to have in my life, things I dream about, some of them I alas completely lack now, others I'd like to add to what I already have. Hopefully one day I'll be able to say I've successfully added them all. And if I don't achieve all those goals, I'd like to think I can say that I've had a really good and successful life just the same. Having made my very own pawprint in time.

Meanwhile, I'm continuing being curious. Of life, people and events. In general, though some definitely more than others. And I'm also fully convinced that curiosity didn't kill the cat, at least not the cat with a healthy amount of self-preservation. Satisfaction guaranteed.