Just when you need it, music appears that speaks to your soul. And in my case, it has more often than not been something new from Haevn these past few years. And for the third year in a row, they were my most played artist on Spotify, and my theme song "Where the Heart is" was still my number one song too (place number two was "Adore you" and apparently I'm one amongst the top 3% who listen to their music on Spotify. There's just something that touch my soul, the special blend of intimate and majestic is simply magical.
2020, I had such high hopes for you. And then you became a mess. Just because humans in general don't respect the natural world and our fellow earthlings, we all have to suffer for it.
I wanted to write something light hearted, positive and hopeful in the very first post of 2021. But alas I'm not at all in that place now, quite the opposite, I miss my old energetic, grounded in happiness self (I mean, even when M passed away I could feel glimmers of joy and hopefulness). After 10 months of isolation I am drained, tired and have an almost constant brain fog status. There is only as much gratitude on repeat you can feel when there is basically zero input of new insights and meaningful conversations, good meetings and purposeful work to be done.
2020 was suppose to be THE year of new, amazing beginnings, instead it has left me feeling hapless and desolate. The climate angst and Weltschmerz is quite overwhelming. And I cry a lot. Which isn’t really me as I know myself.
I worry about my finances. I desperately want to hold on to the fact that the universe has my back, but currently I worry that there will come a day (in a not so far future) when I won't be able to pay my bills. I'm sad that despite all this searching I haven't been able to find my soul squad and my purpose. It may be 2020 to blame for that too, putting a stop to most things, but it may also be I'm not looking in the right places, my network doesn't really work for my purpose, heck possibly I was born in the wrong time.
I thought I was really good at cultivating my resilience, but after these 10 months and especially a December completely void of sun hours, I'm not sure anymore.
If 2020 hadn't been as it was I probably hadn't done a class in Science of Wellbeing, nor two courses in philosophy. Or the Sustainability Science course. (Got my home exams essay appoved the other week, but I'm quite offended by the grade the essay got. I felt the reading was sloppy and they didn't really understand my point. I know it's a vast subject that need more words, pages and reasoning than the mere 800 words that were our limit, but that diesn’t mean it was that lacking. I will likely argue my case, but on the other hand noone will ever ask for the grade only the fact that I went the course and passed).
Furthermore I wouldn't have project managed the digital Vegoforum's, nor read as many books that I did (didn't made it to 55, but 52 isn't half bad either).
So of course I’m grateful for those opportunities and results from an otherwise dispiriting year. But now I’m overwhelmingly eager and open to meet my soul squad, my kind of people. Much less worry, less despair and sorrow, more stability, joy and positive green growth, a kinder, compassionate world, please please please, 2021, thank you so very much in advance.
I'm thinking about challenging myself to actually write a little blog post every single day in July. Because there isn't much else one can do these days, other than walk, cook, eat, drink tea, read, cuddle cats, watch movies, meditate. Life continues to be very restricted for most of us, who don't own or have access to a car. I think most of us feel life is on hold, the waiting game prolonged.
I've struggled with setting the tone of this post, will I keep it light and positive, or will I simply tell it like it is. Life is made up of both, even in these troubled times for all of us. And I haven't exactly shyed away from the difficult stuff before...
So, even if I'm grateful to be an intro/ambivert, and ever so grateful I'm not of an addictive nature, this is *starting* to take its toll on me too. Even if I enjoy my own company, and solitude, I also feel lonely. People with loving partners and good families probably don't get it. Nor do people with friends they have deep and meaningful relationships with. To be quite honest, I don't think I have anyone like that in my life anymore. There, now that's said and out there.
During these months, no one has gotten in touch to hear how I'm doing. And vice versa, after the first few weeks I have felt zero inclination to reach out myself. The energy levels are limited. People are working, from home or wherever they feel comfortable and safe to be, they're only interested in social distancing contacts with people close by. If anyone with a car was interested to meet up in my neighborhood, for a take away lunch and a walk and talk, I'd be happy too. But few people seem to have cars and the ones I've asked have said "sure, but maybe later", and that later never happened...
I'm not the least bit interested in having more Zoom- or Skype talks than those which are work or pro bono-necessary. They're just stressful and unproductive, they never fill me with joy or inspiration. The only contacts I have with people these days (apart from darling little mom, grocery store clerks, the neighborhood's dog ladies and such) are via short comments on social media. Which on the one hand feels quite insufficient, on the other hand quite enough for my current energy levels.
The times we're living in are traumatizing for most us, so maybe this is the new normal (at least for us not prone to alcoholism or violence...) and perhaps that also means we only have just enough energy to focus on the immediate close circle.
I know I feel that way, but at the same time I feel lonely. On the other I don't have the energy to spend on a lot of interactions. And if I start reaching out to more people, perhaps I'll feel it's a bit overwhelming in the end? It's enough to cope with my own thoughts and personal issues. Weltschmerz as well as personal worries. And even if meditating does help, it's only as much as that can do to keep the demons away. One day at a time, one day at a time. Reading, cat cuddling, cooking, walking, repeat. Who said it was without complications?
I found June to be a particular bad month, on a personal level. (Because we all know what a shi**y month it was for the world, so no need to dig into that. And this is after all, my little world within the world, so...). It began with a plantar fasciitis from hell in my left heel (not had one since 2009, but this past year I have been wearing more sneakers than usual and I find that sneakers generally give much less support to my feet than regular shoes. Sure they are seemingly comfortable and kind, but overdo the walking in them, there will be a hefty price to pay...
So I had to spend a couple of weeks resting, stretching and hobbling out to the garbage bin regularly (in different shoes, just to see which ones would work best for a painful heel). Finally last week I did my hobble in the vegan wedges I got in March, and they felt very promising. The next day I did a longer walk to the grocery store, and it was painfree. Huzzah!
Taking it slowly, but so far two walks this week and I'm hopeful to be back on my usual walking track within a foreseeable future.
The job processes I was recently positive about, didn't lead to anything. And others haven't either. It's absolutely crazy that it is this hard to find my kind of people, my kind of company. I'm weird and wonderful, but apparently too many companies and organisations find me weird and incomprehensible. No matter how qualified I am, no matter how much potential and visions I have. That in itself is deeply disturbing, and depressing. Maybe I should just give up finding a job in Sweden, and find one abroad that accepts and encourage remote working?
But all in all, I'm really at lost on what to do now, where to look, where to find, at last. When you find yourself, after much work and effort, in this position, you kind of have to truly trust that universe has your back...
Last week's depressing heatwave didn't exactly help the mood either. I'm grateful for cooler weather and two days of several rain showers now though. But nature is in desperate need much much more water, more rain.
Before the heatwave I immensely enjoyed my little, shabby, green haven of a garden. Lilacs, honeysuckle, rhododendron... Roses, mock orange and now clematis. I wish they could blossom for a longer time though. It's fleeting time of immense beauty and calls for intense appreciation of nature's little wonders.
One of the cats passed away last Friday. He suddenly got poorly and rapidly lost weight after Midsummer. Over the years I've gotten (too) well versed with cats and cancer, and its often very quick process. I used to dash off to the vet, and followed by painful procedures with always poor outcomes. After those times I decided to never again submit 10+ years old cats to that stress but keep them comfortable at home and if possible let them pass away in the comfort of their well-known surroundings and alongside friends.
He drank water, didn't ate very much, enjoyed cuddles, slept a lot and kept to himself. On a very warm and humid Friday evening he fell into the final sleep on the veranda. As the vet was closed by then I had to wrap him up and keep him in the freezer over the weekend. That's how you have to problem solve things, even the very sad things. On Monday morning I put him in a box, walked to the vet, and paid a hefty price for the cremation. And that was the end of Waldemar Warwick.
He was a fun, weird kitten and young cat, but as a grown up, older cat he wasn't one of the cats with big personalities, but a more subdued fella. But still, he was part of the cat puzzle in this residence. He had never been sick once, always a healthy sight in shiny, black fur so this came very unexpected. He would have turned 13 in a couple of months.
With a cat gang now between 8 and 16 years old, most of them never having been sick a day in their lives, I guess you can never tell which one will be next. It feels a bit like being in the Agatha Christie novel "And Then There Were None".
I can't imagine my life without cats, but with the immense joy, gratitude and furry love comes sorrow. There have been countless of tears shed over cats lost, over the years. And well, this experience didn't exactly add anything positive and joyful to my current mood. But there you are, life.
I had high hopes for June, those were really put to shame. I'm not even sure what lessons I've learnt from it. Life is rough, but there are always people who are worse off, be grateful for the good things you have, have had and will have?
Now half of the year is gone. And EVERYTHING is topsy turvy, can you please, gorgeous July, turn into something positive, uplifting, beautifully solution based and inspiring? I need it. And I'm not alone.
I lied. I'm sorry. It did take another month for a post to appear here again. I'm too tired, jaded, worried, sad, angry, heartbroken (take your pick for the day) to feel inspired, energized and happy enough to blog these days. It's really difficult to look forward to things, imagine a prosperous future. The feeling of Weltschmerz on your shoulders is particularly heavy in these times.
Not happy enough to do anything substantial or newsworthy really. Funnily enough I read a lot, which usually is something I struggle with (loosing my mojo for) when I'm in a low place. But there you are. And go for walks and cook. The nature is gorgeous this time of the year and the weather has been on the chilly side of early summer (which I'm grateful for, we need lots of rain). But still, the world is very limited and small right now.
Oh, and I do a lot of guided meditation, a few times each day, between 15-45 minutes at a time. Have however not found the peace and serenity in it I had hoped and waited for. Somehow I think the times we are living in are too overwhelming for that to happen. It will take time, a long time. But one thing that has improved, my mind doesn't wander as much as before. That's at least something.
I finished both courses I took this spring, the Science of Well-Being at Yale and the shorter one in Swedish on Climate, Environment and Consumption. The first one was great and very inspiring - but as I said, the rough and extraordinary times we are living in makes it a real struggle to apply all that new knowledge in real life... - the second one was alright. No new information for me, but a lot of useful things to brush up on regarding sustainability and choices.
My best tips for being a better earthling and champion for sustainability and peace are still -
Go Vegan! And do it NOW.
Buy organic and avoid palmoil.
Consume less, consume better.
Fly less, much much much less.
Stop your routine-like driving everywhere. (Yes, I know, public transport just isn't an healthy option currently, but things will not stay like this forever. Walk, bike and take the bus/train. Do the healthy, sustainable thing.)
I'm involved in a couple job processes. But to be honest I don't have a good gut feeling about neither of them. When a process is stretched out and you don't get updates, it just doesn't feel ... right anymore. You question the company, you question yourself, and is it really such a great match... Oh how illusive is that dream job of mine...
Vegoforum was obviously cancelled in March due to corona, but last week it was turned into two digital seminars with focus on sustainable, healthy, vegan school meals. Great speakers, great insights, and very inspiring. I wish we could all go out and make a quick and radical difference right here and now with all that inspiration.
I'm also doing volunteer work as a board member in the non-profit association SMMI (Svensk Mat- och Miljöinformation, Swedish Food- and Environmental information) now, Vegoforum is one of their projects. The mission is to promote, teach and inspire about a sustainable food chain and the environment, tied to the Agenda 2030 and its sustainable development goals. It's lovely to *see* the knowledge and dedication of the people involved in the movement. But as much as I love that, this too is a struggle as we're confined to Zoom-meetings (so not a fan. Who knew that a simple telephone call/conference would feel like a relief one day... for an Odd Phoney) so far.
After M's passing in 2016, I never eat take away. I cook everything myself, unless I'm eating out obviously. But the fact that a Thai foodtruck that can veganize about 20 dishes on the menu, has opened up nearby has been such a lovely change during corona-times. Have had a few take aways with my mum so far, the food is great (and especially the tofu is perfect) and it's kind of a weekly-ish highlight. I hope they get enough business in the neighbourhood to stay put. We'll kickstart June with a Thai lunch too, happiness boosters are few and far away. Even for us who has so so much to be grateful about during these troubled times.
Last week Marimekko had a digital runway with participants all over the world showing their summer outfits inspired by Marimekko, on Instagram, instead of the annual Helsinki fashion show. It was really sweet. And one of those little treasured happiness boosting things to watch people of different sizes, colours, gender and ages loving their outfits and strutting their stuff. This was my wee contribution, love the Unikko filter for Instagram. And yes, I did a vegan Maria Nila colour refresh a couple of week's ago again - mixed pink pop and cherry red.
As there are currently no reasons to dress in all my pretty dresses or favourite clothes in general, I try to at least take one out for fresh air once per week. Which basically means, let's make a dress effort for walks to the grocery stores or the Thai foodtruck.
As much as I was and is proud of the Swedish covid-19 strategy I'm now very less than proud of the blatant negligent and careless attitude of far too many Swedes when the sun came out. I know that I wrote about that last month too, but seriously, people are indeed idiots. And watching the news, it's most certainly not a Swedish thing only. Idiots everywhere.
And I can't say I'm any happier about the open up-strategies in other countries either. Much too soon, too casual I'd say. Opening up to the second wave. And thus putting further strains on all the incredibly hard working hospital staff (will they ever have time to heal, rest, recuperate and get a decent pay I wonder...). But there you are. Life and people are currently particularly hard to grasp and relate to, on so many levels.
Goodbye, May, you have been pretty, you have been a struggle. Thank you for the insights and lessons, but I'm sad to say it wasn't very good to meet you this year.
Hello, June, I really hope, wish and keep my fingers crossed for more joy, kindness and progress. Can you, please, pretty pretty down on my knees please, make some dreams come true? And if there's anything more I can do to make that happen, please do show and tell!
First of all, I adore you, my January 2020 music crush - Harry Styles has never been on my radar, 'he's in one of those countless generic boybands, right...?', but I saw him on The Graham Norton Show (which I love) and was completely smittened by the song and his totally snazzy dressing. Look. At. That. Suit. Fabulous.
Secondly. The year, the roaring 20ies have sadly started with one soul-crushing event after the other. And so, to my fellow climate angstees, I recommend this piece on How To Stop Freaking Out and Tackle Climate Change with a pretty great and constructive 5 point plan to do it.
However I do not agree on ditching the shame as such. I still firmly we all need to strive to be better in our own lives, make better choices, as we too as individuals are responsible, not only a broken, sick system and despicable political structures. We can't blame Big Brother for everything. We too must change. As well as keep demanding structural changes of course.
And on that subject - my first post on LinkedIn for 2020 was about this pile of soft toys koalas at IKEA. A company that has and continues to cause a lot of environmental damage all over the world with its production, and a seemingly pretty disgusting marketing ploy. I'd say that no amount of solar panels, recycled furniture or vegan sausages can cover up that fact.
And don't get me started about the fact that our beautiful cherry blossom trees have already begun its blooming season... Three months early...
But the year has not only begun with the continued climate angst and Weltschmerz. The first thing I did to kick it off was to colour it in Pink Pop again. The vegan hair colour rinse from Maria Nila worked its magic again - there's not much left after 5-6 hair washes now, just as expected - and I've decided 2020 will and must be a year with many green insights and a lot of the magic that is pink.
Just before the Christmas holidays I got a free test subscription to a film and TV-series channel blissfully void of ads. The four weeks were subsequently prolonged to eight weeks, so I have enjoyed quite a few good (and bad) movies and streaming of great TV-series. Binge watching has been lovely. And have you ever felt that when you binge watch a great series it feels like losing friends and a context when its over?
Here are my favourites, series and movies, highly recommend them! -
The First
The Capture
Mary kills people
Five bedrooms
A million little things
War of the Worlds
Wild Bill
The Rook
Gold Digger
Howard's End - I've always loved the original movie from 1992 with Emma Thompson, Helena Bonham-Carter and Anthony Hopkins. But this new TV-series adaption is so very beautiful (the attention to details...) and moving. And those adorable terrier puppies in episode 3, look just like Little Loaf Malte when we brought home at 9 weeks old.
The Wife - Gleen Close, amazing,
Isle of Dogs
Paddington 2
And just like 2019, I let Isabel Dalhousie, philosopher and Edinburgh sleuth extraordinaire, set the tone for 2020, with this year's first read.
I finished 51 books in 2019, first time I wrote them down and added them to Goodreads. I might never get back to reading as much books as I once did (and audio books are not my cup of literary tea), but I'm happy with almost one book per week (with everything else you have to explore and fit in in your life). Some were spectacular, some lovely little bagatelles, and a few pretty bad. Easy reads but badly written.
I finished the 6 weeks course in "May cause miracles" by Gabby Bernstein, just before New Year's. And while some of the chapters were zero relatable, I just skimmed through them, others were so.very. relatable. It was a good read, I'm still not calm and focused enough for meditation, but it was still a really eye-opening experience in switching one's perspective in thinking and acting.
I think these two first bought books of 2020 also will be two of by greatest reads of the year, one is a Swedish book by climate psychologist focusing on our climate angst, and how to turn what seems like a hopeless grey blanket covering us (this winter it literally has been, the tiredness quite overwhelming) into positive action. Have read 30 pages so far, and it's a yes yes yes, me too-kind of book. I'm so happy to attending a breakfast seminar with them this week, one the Behaviour Impact Gap.
And I think Marie Forleo's "Everything is figureoutable" will be a very good read too. I've always clinged to that notion, especially these past four years of course, looking forward to reading new thoughts and actions on it.
I know I sort of promised to write a recap of last year, but really, let's start with a clean slate, shall we? Like wiping off a really scary, but also nourishing, cleansing and liberating, clay mask from your face. Let's start fresh! (The memories and lessons will always be there, tucked safely away, anyway.)
So, so far this year for me - quite a few interesting and surprising calls, talks, meetings. Some great, some not really what I'm looking for, but still interesting lessons.
I don't think I mention that the friend who volunteered at the great Vegoforum day last year, dragged me with her to the first planning meeting for Vegoforum 2020 in the beginning of December? Wasn't sure it was for me, but somehow I said yes to voluntering, and it has been really interesting and fun so far. This year it will be four theme-days followed by four democracy workshops, the first one in late March.
This Veganuary - I hope you've signed up for it?! - has also been the hat trick for my position on the Top 20 Swedish Lifestyle Blogs to Follow, third year in a row. I may not blog nearly as much as I used to, but still now and then I apparently offer something pretty readable.
Hopefully it won't be 20 days until next post, but for now, I hope your year has begun in a wonderful, hopeful and inspiring way. Continue to act, be and create the change you want to see in the world, in desperate need of that, and remember that...
It's with sadness one has to admit that summer is over. It was an awful, frightening summer where you couldn't breath and think at the same time, with climate angst and sleep deprivation galore. But since it was like a reality version of an episode of the Twilight Zone it's like you never really got to experience the beauty and relaxation that is called Scandinavian summer.
And then all the rain we could have used during summer seem to have arrived a plenty these past couple of weeks. Everything is very green now, at last, but even if the temperatures are around +20C it's still distinctly autumn in the air. As is melancholy.
So, time for a few highs as well as lows of these past weeks -
:: The above amazing sculptures are made by the Barcelonian artist Jaume Plensa, who currently have some pieces shown at Djurgården, nearby and even in the channel. The big heads are just magical, like an optic illusion. And the life sized men hugging cherry trees are delightful - the world needs more men hugging (cherry) trees! The exhibition is on until September 23. Shouldn't be missed if you're in Stockholm.
:: That this 15 year old amazing girl, Greta Thunberg, is on climate strike outside the Swedish parliament, since two weeks, until our election next Sunday, is both heartbreaking and hopeful. That politicians and grown ups have failed is very obvious. As she herself put it the first day of her strike, when she was alone there - others have since joined - "Children most often don't do as grown ups tell them to, they do what grown ups do. And since you don't give a sh*t about my future, I don't either."
Not one (Swedish) politician has really taken the climate change catastrophy serious in the election campaigns. They still do not get that the climate is the one and only thing we should all be talking about. Even if "we're doomed and very few are prepared to say so." we should address it, take some responsability and serious actions to make the most of what I seriously fear are reasonably few years left of the beautiful, livable planet humans have destroyed for shortsighted, selfish reasons.
Politicians in general seem to be incapable of long-sightedness, unwilling to tell uncomfortable truths in fear of losing votes. And oh woe if another politician or party will "get credit" for that uncomfortable truth somewhere down the line instead.
If we didn't have career politicians, which is a concept that is just bizarre imho but not many seem to question, this would not be an issue in quite the same way. A limited term of office would be a very healthy thing.
I said I will be voting with my heart only this election. But reading, listening and thinking I think it's a time to vote strategically. Just vote for the environment and forget everything else. Everything else is insignificant if we don't have a planet to live on. I still haven't fully decided which party to vote for, but there are 7 parties I most certainly won't vote for, they are just more bad business as usual news for the environment.
:: Last weekend I attended the Matologi-fair arranged by SLU - Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences - about sustainability and the future food. Despite good intentions it was an overall disappointing experience, of which some of the reasons were;
- All the non-recycable disposible cups everywhere. It's not hard to get a KeepCup and bring it whenever you buy coffee/tea. Promise.
- How few plantbased exhibitors there were.
- Politicians and debaters need to talk more about how essential the shift to plantbased food is. Stop sidesliping and continue talking about eating animals at any cost. It's much harder to replace the planet in the future than it is to change your diet and lifestyle (which has an immense impact on the environment) today.
If we want a future it is plantbased. Period.
Compared to the great sustainability forum arranged by Stockholm University (my Alma Mater) in March (which also partly talked about the future food) it lacked innovative talks, knowledge and discussions. (I don't think I ever wrote about that forum, bad me. There were many really interesting talks about our dependency on fossil fuel, and how that ties to wars, instable regions, migration and of course global warming. And also sustainable food, health and science.)
It's quite disturbing when universities don't communicate with eachother and learn from previous experiences, especially research institutes in such close proximity. Plus obviously show so little interest in talking about/with farmer's that have shifted into plantbased farming, large scale urban farming like Plantagon, food scientists etc.
:: On the day of Matologi, the police had given permission to a nazi rally - alongside 134 other events and rallies in Stockholm that day... - I know, it's deeply worrying that they still allow anti-democratic movements like that to march on the streets here. I also think it's very upsetting that the police still use horses in their work at rallies. It's such an outdated and cruel concept.
:: I've written briefly about the bizarre concept of personality tests as a lazy way of recruting. Last week I had the questionable non-pleasure of doing another one, for a job that sounded reasonably cool and interesting, after having a long chat with the CEO of said company. He promised to call with feedback the next day. He never did. And given the honestly rather creepy tests and my refusal to adapt my answers to what they obviously wanted to hear, I'm not surprised. I didn't even get a general summary of the result or a thank you email for taking the two hours to complete the test. Not a good way to deal with employer branding *insert rolling eyes*.
In fact I think the questions were so creepily weird I'm preparing another blog post about the test alone. I can't remember every question, there were 200-300 of them (yes really), but I have some noteworthy ones I'd like to write some more about.
Did I mention that the personality test I did before summer showed I was basically a selfish psychopath? It was obviously quite offensive, and at the same time a pretty hilariously proof on just how off these tests really are.
I'm all for work samples, reputation resumes, referees and "how would you solve this fictive work scenario?" tests. Those are relevant parts of a recruitment process. Ridiculous personality and "logic" tests are not. For goodness sake, MEET the candidate first, before you assess they're worth or non-worthy candidates. Recruiter, do your job, don't be lazy, be professional.
I will never again accept to do a personality test. I also think it's quite questionable to not be up front with that in the job ad, but instead sneak it in at a later stage in the process. It's a waste of everyone's time. Well, everyone but the unprofessional recruiter.
:: Had a well-deserved pedicure with my little mom. It was over a year since last. It was bliss. I hope I'll be able to do it more regularly soon. Good for the soul as well as those poor feet that literally stand for a lot.
:: Today, on the last shivering day of summer, I met up for a quiet first anniversary celebration of last year's brilliant brunch and brainstorming fika. It's a nice little tradition to end the summer with. We have alas not getting any further with our brilliant B-project - life has a way of coming in between plans... - but one day we will work something magic together.
I remember I was in a much better mood a year ago, calm after the intense grief recovery process, excited about a cool work autumn - little did I know then that I was going to be deeply hurt by it all six months later... - than I am now. I wish I felt less weary. But it is what it is, last summer was a much better, energizing and significantly less worrisome one.
The vegan food today wasn't as spectacular as last year, but the sandwich with beetroot hummus and grilled veggies was really nice and that little unassuming chocolate cake delicious.
Then we clinked in organic kombucha. Much better than champagne as far as I'm concerned.
Bye summer, farewell August, you have been disappointing, but I know it's not your fault. And I've learnt a lot, even if it was more than I needed.
Hello autumn, hi September, oh pretty pretty please, can you be nice, kind and lovely with sugar and sprinkles on top, please? Much needed. Promise an abundance of gratitude. Thank you ever so much in advance.
I was going to write a lengthy post solely on the nothing short than complete shambles that's the public transportation in Stockholm this summer. But I won't, this will be a three piece post from infuriating, to even more infuriating, to cute overload.
Let's start with the closing of the two major commuter train hubs in the city - the Citybanan and it's two new stations are not even a year old and they costed about 17 billions SEK plus 4,5 billions for new trains. I was highly critical and sceptical to the build beforehand, for many reasons. I still am, very much so - Odenplan and Stockholm city (which is the central station) - because of faulty escalators.
The new commuter train stations are built really really deep underground, below the subway system. So it takes quite a long time before you reach the ground coming with commuter trains to the inner city these days. And the escalators are obviously very long and steep. And scary.
Last Monday there was a frightful incident with one of these scary, long escalators, it scampered and changed direction and a lot of people fell. Luckily noone was seriously injured. Up on inspection of the escalators - from the company Otis - it turned out there were serious problems with corrosion. The escalators aren't even a year old.
They had to close down over 70 escalators and since that means there aren't any safe exits from the stations, subsequently the stations were closed too.
Odenplan is opened up again - but I'm seriously not keen on using that station any time soon. Stockholm city is still closed a week later. In the middle of the holiday season. Here's a bit more information about the situation (in Swedish.)
There are currently so so many other construction works in the public transportation system in Stockholm. I thought I'd point out everything, but I won't because it's exhausting and infuriating. The reason for the embarrassing shambles basically being politicians and authorities have mollycuddled car traffic for centuries and just ignored the dire need for maintenance and modernisation of the public transport system and railroads.
Not to mention, corruption is more vastly spread in Sweden than we like to acknowledge, this situation makes one think about that too.
Which brings me to the next infuriating, but also heartbreaking, thing currently happening in Sweden. It started to be unseasonably warm here in late April already. May was really warm, and global warming was a very obvious fact. Early June was slightly cooler, but July has been nothing short than awful with temperatures +30-34C for weeks now. In many parts of the country it hasn't rained for over 10 weeks. And that has naturally led to extensive forest fires. Over 60 of them.
And the reaction, or rather lack of reaction, from the government and many authorities is simply appalling. Even a moderate amount of true leadership shown here in this man-made disaster situation would have sealed the upcoming election in September. But no such thing. I guess the government and its prime minister aren't very interested in keeping their positions come autumn.
The last straw was the Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces saying on the news the other night, that they can't use the helicopters on ground for waterbombing because it's holiday season and the collective labour agreement and holiday laws forbids a suspension of the holidays. It's not our responsability. Seriously.
It's a national crisis, the country is literally burning. The brave and amazing fire fighters and volunteers on the ground can't fight this alone. The lack of strategy and planning is just mad. For f*** sake, get this under control and deal with the bureaucracy afterwards. The stupidity and lack of leadership, be it in politics or authorities, is absolutely mindboggling. Yet, again and again, they get to keep their position (and being paid way more than they deserve).
Needless to say I won't be voting for the current government. I most certainly won't vote for the opposition either. Neither stands for a society and future I want to see. This year I will only vote with my heart, mind and good conscience. I would be deeply ashamed if I didn't.
Given this extensive heatwave I haven't had a decent night's sleep for weeks now. The house is heating up during the days and there isn't enough time for it to cool down until bedtime. I refuse to use more energy than needed ie use the heat pump's A/C system. Besides it showed serious signs of giving up for good by the end of winter, and since I'm not able to replace it as things currently are I need to save it's possible last use for winter.
I don't know how people can function in heat like this. I can't. Taking it one day at a time, like wading through syrup. I desperately long for rain and cooler days. A nights. As do nature. And the cats.
And this late afternoon there were suddenly a whole family here. One big and three tiny, smaller than the palm of my hand. They're curious, active and slightly mischiveous. And too too adorable. So now I'll just have to help them grow strong for winter, with lots of kitty food and water.
The cats, and especially Zigne, thinks it's super interesting and exciting to open the distinguished inn again.
It's tiny, preferably four pawed, things like this that help keeping the ever present Weltschmerz (and anger at the state of the world in general) at bay. They did appear just when I needed it. Blessed and grateful am I.
Amidst sorrow blogging was tremendously therapeutical. In a chaotic project - with a client obviously many vegan sausages short of a full English breakfast and ill-equipped to lead a company - blogging was a must to sort out the bizarre, erratic behaviours.
This past couple of weeks with even more unsavoury behaviours, irrelevant ideas, a complete lack of acknowledging responsability, offering plausible explanations and solutions et al have been an exhausting source of even more blog topics of various kinds.
Or that the immense beauty in nature all May also is a very obvious reminder that global warming is real? Everything, and I mean everything, is in bloom now. Flowers and trees that should bloom one after the other between May and August, if nature wasn't having a breakdown caused my human behaviour, is now simultaneously blossoming.
Dandelions, lilacs, lilies of the valley, honeysuckle, rhododendron, peony, fritillaria, roses, apple blossoms... The beginning of the end? High summer temperatures and no rain. Weltschmerz is also real.
What I think about the fact that some companies still use personality tests in their recruitment processes that are completely irrelevant for the job in question? It's simply outdated, bizarre and not least unprofessional. And would I really want to work for an organization that use obsolete methods like that?
That this is not my cat-cats that have been sweet and friendly for years suddenly act crazy and can cause a lot of pain with an unprovoked big bite? I should probably be grateful that I'm still alive. And I admit to for the first time ever having encountered a cat whom I'm actually afraid of, from here on.
Or that when nicecream is free every kid in Stockholm claim they are vegan hipsters (and are a bit full of themselves)? Especially the salted caramel hazelnut was nice, but not nearly as fantastic as Ben & Jerry's vegan icecream.
That you can actually get pretty decent results when you cut your own hair with guidance from YouTube tutorials? I cut over 20 cm. And funny enough I don't really miss the lost wisps, this time.
Or that Haevn's first album is released tomorrow May 25? That every song they've slowly released all through April and May have been lovely. But my favourites so far are "Back in the water" and this one "Love is a game". The phrase "I will be on my weakest when you hold on" is beautiful. And I like that it's dance music. Ie perfect for star dancing.
That the discovery that new TV-show "The good fight" is a spin-off from one of my favourite series "The good wife" makes me very happy. Always love a great story, a clever dialogue. In legal setting.
That there is a special, very warm place for recruiters and HR-people that don't realise the only decent way to behave (and not least an important part of their job!) towards every interviewee that don't get the job is to call or send a personal email, tell them why and thank them for their precious time and interest?
Or that I'm so incredibly tired of stupid, ignorant people (that don't live in a cave or are illiterate) that A) Don't acknowledge that it's their behaviour that causes global warming. That everything is connected, what you chose to do on this side of the planet, the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the transport, the holidays affect what happens on the other side of the planet?
That B) always blame other animals than humans for the environmental issues. And per usual think killing animals is the solution to sort problems caused by humans. Own your responsability, idiots. The butterfly effect is real. And a huge reason for the world being what it is, is people refusing to take responsability for their actions or non-actions.
Well, where to start? Let's see this post as a foretaste, and I'll elaborate another day.
When I'm not in swoon over the bliss and beauty of lilacs.
a) the first snow that fell in Sweden/Stockholm a few days ago. And upload a sweet video of the overratedness of snow according to cats.
But 1) the Blogger app oddly enough doesn't allow the uploading of videos from smartphones.
And 2) today we experienced a crazy snow blizzard and traffic chaos followed (because as usual everyone but the traffic guys, whomever they are, know winters here still - despite global warming - mean snowfall) and the notion of hibernation seems awfully appealing.
The b) topic today was going to be about how love and intelligence trumps hate. And that despite all her flaws (and obviously not being the best option in an ideal world) how rather brilliant it is to wake up to a winter wonderland where there's finally a female president on the other side of the pond.
That didn't happen. And I am not surprised alas. Shocked and deeply saddened yes, surprised not really. A brutal wake-up call for us all. For the environment, for equality, for reason.
Ah, Weltschmerz.
So instead of those sweet topics I simply give you the army of kindness, compassion and cuteness in snow - because that truly trumps everything.
Also known as election in Sweden-time. Gosh, I truly loath election campaign posters - above one not included in that hate though, it's the Animal Party's poster, it's darling and a much needed party in politics obviously. For all the innocent voices that can't make themselves heard.
But for the rest, here's my reasons for loath
a) the ridiculous amount of money (millions) spent on them could have gone to something decent and world improving. It's about high time politicians and public sector employees in charge treated public finances as if it were there their own personal money. This devil-may-care attitude with vast amounts of money is both maddening and scary.
b) you will not get anyone to change an opinion or vote for your party due to campaign posters. For that they will have to be extremly clever and unique. Which brings us to the next point... >
c) the slogans and copy is most often of embarrassingly low quality. Someone has gotten paid for coming up with all this stupidity. Someone has approved it. Facepalm.
d) not only a complete waste of money, it's also a waste of paper AND littering of a blatant, appalling kind. Every election the same thing happen - apparently campaign workers who eagerly put the rubbish up haven't got the energy or inclination to take them down and put them in a recycle bin.
e) this year (especially from the right wing parties) there's a spiteful and predjudical tendency of playing the blame game with atrocity propaganda. Also on said posters.
Ridiculous and laughable, there are indeed reasons for disgust of politicians. Hey stupid, I'm not the least bit interested in what you think the other phalanx MIGHT do, I'm only interested in what YOU can do better. Newsflash:There's a vast difference between mindless mudthrowing and the meeting of arguments with facts in a debate. Yes, the foolishness of politicians can indeed be ungraspable...
If possible I would vote for the party that doesn't have any campaign posters. As if.
Can't wait for the election to be over (September 14). Can't wait for a new government to step in after 8 years of abusive leadership which has most effectively dismantled the welfare society turning Sweden into a cold, harsh, uncaring society to live in. Can't wait for a more environmental and gender equality progressive, animal and human friendly government to be installed. Because that's desperately needed. Whilst campaign posters are not.
