welcome april, bye march 2022

 

On April 1 2022 this was not what I expected. But there you are. In line with what 2022 has offered so far. 

(I remember we had snow in May when I was a kid, so I’m not saying capricious weather always is linked to the human induced climate change, but it would be nice not to see this backlash now after a couple of weeks with +10C and April arriving…)

So, March. It has been a really really weird month, yes some good things happened but also some really really bad ones, or just one, a very big one, in particular. It has taken me by surprise, shaken me to the core, the absurdity, the violation of the innermost me and my values, the total unprofessionalism, it is nothing short of a real life Twilight Zone situation. It’s nauesating, infuriating, sick and insane. Is it even legal? Yes, I could go on and on, but it is not over yet, so I will leave it at that for now. Needless to say it has overshadowed the whole month.

I have experienced my fair share of absurdities and awful human behaviours before (haven’t we all…?) but this really win first prize in my book. Something quite like this has never happened previously, and just because it is so completely bizarre, and scary, and incredibly stressful, it has been difficult to appreciate the small things and the much much needed pockets of joy in March. 

And of course everything may pale in comparison with the horrific Russian invasion of Ukraine. Two peas in a mad pod, the crazy orange guy in the west and the little pale one in the east. Seriously, what is wrong with men and their inferiority complex and illusions of grandeur? 

It’s 2022 and the world is burning, we literally have a climate emergency, the ice caps have melted, tipping point by tipping point will be reached much much sooner that expected - and then some weird little pathetic dictator think the best thing to do is to start a war commiting countless of atrocities and war crimes within weeks alone. 

Can’t say I’m terribly impressed by the actions from the rest of the world’s democratic politicians either (including Sweden’s). The continuation of fueling the dictator’s war with dirty oil and gas money. And the gobsmacking ignorance of people in general (especially people with cars) expecting nothing to change, that it is always someone else who should pick up the bill and the pieces. 

When we will all have to pay a price, quite possibly a much higher one the longer we wait for a green shift to automagically happen. The spoilt brat syndrome of our western world. It’s sickening and embarrassing.

So apart from the world crisis on the brink of World War III, the climate emergency as well as my own private little hell to deal with, what have been the little pockets of treasured joys this past month then?

Well, enjoying perky Snag tights with shoes for warmer weather, vegan cooking, and baking (there may be a recipe or two appearing soon). Met up with a woman I briefly worked with a few years back and got to see her lovely art in person. It was amazing and inspiring!

Unfortunately I picked the day when the commuter train system collapsed (again) and I ended up stuck waiting on a station for three hours for a train. This was my face when I finally got home after nearly five hours (had everything ran as usual that journey would gave taken 1 hour and 15 minutes door to door).

And yes, that is a middle finger to the usual lack of communication and problem solving skills from SL (the local Stockholm public transport) that day. This is certainly a case of things used to be so much better in the good old days.

Weather slowly turning into spring (until now).

Spending time with my own two little lovable fluffy weirdos, and a couple of fun job projects (but no, still no dream job caught, or my kind of people met).

Books read, but so far none wow of 2022. 

I haven’t found any new wow-series on Netflix (after Dark) but I have almost binge watched all six seasons of Queer Eye. Used to enjoy the original series a lot, and I didn’t like this new one at first but the gang grew on me and now I found them great and in fact much better than the originals. Skipped all the animal eating focused episodes, loved the climate activist and animal sanctuary-episodes the most (obviously). Found the episodes in Japan dispiriting, sad and zero relatable. Watched the German version too, but I find it so theatrical and odd, one would have thought it would be easier to relate to Germans in need of Fab 5’s intervention but apparently not.

Welcome April, I am in desperate need of kindness, reason, less stress and more help from the Universe, new healthy change and purpose, amazing heartfelt beginnings and a lot of relaxation and relief. I’m really really REALLY hoping you will help with that April, please? 

PS Thanks for all the lessons March, it has been rough and bumpy ride. Still not sure why you felt the need to do teach me all that, maybe one day I will… DS

goodbye sweet october, hello november

 

Another small, restricted month in a world where the new normal is abnormal is over. My month. October, that both begun and ended with a blue full moon A month when nature offers a bonanza of sparkling colours, in a very much less sparkling world.  

If I was religious I'd say that Armageddon is upon us. As I am an atheist, I'd say that Armageddon is upon us. Every day something new and scary, nature showing its full force (human induced obviously) or mankind rearing its absolutely ugliest head full of hate and completely void of sanity, intelligence,  kindness and compassion.

It is really really REALLY very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel now, wouldn't you agree? 

I loved the positive vegan vibes, the innovative ideas, the entrepreneurial force of the Vegoforum last Saturday. It was both exhausting, infuriating and uplifting to plan the event. One day I may write more of what aspects were exhausting, infuriating and uplifting with it. But I'm doing my best to keep this monthly roundup post short-ish. So let's leave it at that for now. I'm already working with the two last forums for the year. Had a Friyay feeling about it last evening, so I worked late and felt very inspired. 

It's been quite consuming of mind and time, and to be honest I haven't been able to study as diligently as I had planned on with the Sustainability Science class alas. The exams will be an home essay (of which we have no details yet) that we have to hand in on December 20th at the latest. The last forum is on December 5th, then I have two weeks to really dig in on that essay. We have four optional quizzes before that, which counts for 20% of the grades. I've done one, and was pretty shocked about the results as it seems I've misconstrued quite a bit. A few of my replies were quite the opposite to the correct ones, which seems weird. But there you are. The focus need to be the essay.

On a personal level, during these extraordinary circumstances times for us all, well at least for us who aren't cavalier and take responsibility for how we behave and act, I think October has been a pretty good month for me.

Despite the ups and downs with the Vegoforum planning and executing it has also been a good thing to keep my wandering mind off worries, unhappiness and sorrows. To just focus in the now and then enjoy the walks, the fikas, running small errands, buying, cooking and eating good food. And of course, having intelligent conversations with the cats. One desperately has to concentrate on what can be done and enjoyed, and not the enormity of all the things one miss. One day at a time. And hey, say buy to another week. Another month. Seven and a half months, people, seven. and. a. half. months. And most likely at least as long before we can possibly, perhaps, maybe can get back to something similar to what used to be normal. See, I'm not very hopeful. 

Accepting and adjusting to how things are, sacrificing and coping, those aren't really mindsets who put you in the best of hopeful or positive moods. Yes, I've learnt a lot these months, of which I'm grateful for, but jeez, living in limbo, some sort of forced half life is rough on both body and mind. 

I did trip and fall at the beginning of the month (as seems to be my new annual tradition that time of the year). My left knee has been pretty sore on and off for the rest of the month, and both my wrists were for the first week or so. The reason for tripping, no obvious one at all. On rare yet regular occasions I'm clumsy and have been so since I was a kid. But the older one gets, the scarier it is, a broken arm due to slipping on a cat vomit isn't all that fun so I'm trying to be extra cautious all the time these days, to avoid situations like that. Yet, they happen anyway.

I haven't had much time to read books during October. But somehow I seem to be on the right track with my 55 books 2020 challenge anyway. I now need to finish 16 books before December 31st to reach that goal. Think I can do it?

Even if I most certainly don't relish the notion of being a year older (but we have already decided that 2020 doesn't count right?), I did enjoy the quiet birthday celebrations a lot. I also got myself a very orange tunic/dress - I though it would look snazzy and stylish, but albeit lovely it does confirm my granny toddler style. Embrace and flaunt it. Or maybe, possibly not wear the tunic with a pair of old cat leggings? (Suitable for a not so crazy cat lady.)

I got some lovely old, never used embroidered by my grandma cotton sheets and two old Maria Lang-books (as I've mentioned earlier I want to collect all of her books, 45ish of them), now I have 15. In times where you can't visit thrift stores or second hand book shops that's tricky. Of course you can get them online, but it's difficult to find a bunch of them from the same seller, and then you end up having to pay a lot of postage from several seller instead. No fun. Loved that she recently happened to get these books from a friend of hers (Malte the pug's old mum, who happened to be a librarian before she retired), read them, then gave them to me.

2020 was also the year I finally unsubscribed to the regular phone line. Most people just use their mobiles these days, but I'm not all that comfortable with just a smartphone and no other means of communicating in an emergency etc. So I've kept the phone subscription as a security measure, even if I still used the smartphone 99% of the time. Which means I've paid a hefty price for something I'm not really using, haven't used for these past couple of years.

First I planned to unsubscribe and get a cheaper provider, but then I couldn't be bothered. It's better to get another cheap and basic mobile phone as a backup instead. Now I'm thinking of upgrading my iPhone, in an ideal world something this expensive and also not very sustainably produced (but oh so good for working and photography), would last for at least 10 years. Which obviously is pure dreaming. My iPhone is 2,5 years, and it's slowing down and acting up a bit lately. A nuisance. But hopefully I can keep it as my backup phone, instead of selling it. 

Though as life isn't what it used to be (duh) the project of getting a new one, but not being able to go into a store and talk with an actual real life person and getting technical help etc, also seems quite overwhelming. I always have a screen shield on my phones, I can't understand people who don't, and they're so tricky to attach it's easier to get the store do it. Dread doing it myself. Ah well, one step at a time. Spending precious energy and time worrying about this is useless.  

I have two other technical issues that annoys the heck out of me, firstly the Swedish television broadcast not being analogue anymore which means that of you don't have a TV younger than born in 2009 you're either forced (if you think you need a TV) to get a new one altogether or buy an additional digital box. I helped my mother with getting a brand new TV in September and managed to install it myself, first time ever, and I'm quite impressed by and proud of myself for doing it. The manual wasn't very good (understatement) but I'm persistent enough to keep at it until I've figured it out. A little victory for September.

Myself I've so far settled for watching TV via the Apple TV, not all regular channels, but the most basic ones can be watched that way. I also have free subscription for a cable channel for a year, which has a lot of movies, TV-series and documentaries. Somehow it's quite liberating to more actively chose what to watch this way. Unfortunately, after watching some great series and movies initially I now have high standards for what I what to spend time watching and most options quickly fall flat. So many rubbish, generic, ridiculous series and movies out there. 

Second nuisance is the fact that for some crazy reason the community association (97 properties in my hoods) voted for installing fiber network in our neighbourhood, despite only about 30 houses had signed up for it. An overwhelming majority had not. Yet they managed to get a go ahead. And begun working two weeks ago, streets, parts of flower beds and shrubs have been mauled and they have yet to restore as promised. The sales tactics from the internet company  (with a very questionable reputation) have been quite aggressive too. They're suppose to finish the extensive work next week. And then we can all enjoy the damage they've caused the whole neighbourhood for the questionable benefit of about 30% of the residents.  

Well, this post wasn't as short and sort of sweet as I planned. I might as well have written more extensive about the exhausting, infuriating and uplifting to planning of the Vegoforum event. But one done, two more to go. There will be a perfect time to write a summary about the ups and downs once those are done.

Thank you October, my friend, you were pretty and you behaved overall benevolently. You were quite enjoyable, despite the circumstances. I'm grateful for that, sweetie.

November, I know your general reputation is dull and dark, uninspiring and overburdening. Shall we not agree on changing that this year of many many burdens already? Okay? Agreed!

And to friends and readers across the pond, VOTE VOTE VOTE. Please put a firm and active stop to this mayhem and madness that has been allowed to pervert and deeply stained the very idea of decency and democracy for these past four years. You need to heal your country. We all need to heal the world. Together.

goodbye summer, hello autumn 2020

Or bye August, hello September.

I can't say August filled me with joy and gratitude of the happy things I wished and hoped and worked for. I may have planted some seeds, who knows. But all and all, another disappointing month from my viewpoint alas.

I can only hope I planted some important seeds that will grow into a fantastic bloom asap.

The lovely thing was that I did get a phone call regarding the job I had most wished for, for a so-call-pre-interview-meeting. Scheduled for Thursday. It felt like the digital meeting went reasonably well (as it is darn difficult to tell from poor connections with basically zero visibility of facial expressions and body languages). As it is now 1,5 weeks since, I admittedly don't have any hopes of another interview. Which is unfortunate, since I was a great match and it was a very interesting position with great potentials for positive impacts and growth.

When it was a job I was very keen on (as this one) I used to follow up myself after the meeting/interview, but I don't do that anymore. It's simply a waste of my time, and I haven't been able to convince them of my awesomeness via my application, our conversation, the meeting and every other little detail you can find out via googling, there's nothing more I can do. They've decided to go another way. And my time is too precious to spend thinking and hassling with things and situations I can't change.

If you can't change it, let it go.

Somewhere out there there MUST be a company and organisation that click with me. However truly dispiriting things feel currently. And as far as I'm concerned have felt for much too long now. This is just ridiculous. What do you want from me Universe??

So far I haven't really been able to keep to my fake it 'til you make it plan...



But as for the things I do have enjoyed and felt energized by in my small world in the latter half of August, these are as follows.

The drive in/walk in cinema evenings were really nice. But for another heatwave that week, it would have been better if the movies had begun an hour later since the sun on the screen wasn't the best combo. But of course that's nothing you can really plan for.

Also, it's common sense really, that you don't bring toddlers to a movie and let then run around screaming while you as parents couldn't care less and you yourselves continue with a loud conversations while you all disturb the rest of the audience. There are idiots everywhere.

And even more so post- and during corona I'd say. Why isn't corona-madness a concept wildly discussed yet? Every day there's more and more proofs that it is a real thing.

The movies, Jumanji: The Next Level and Peanut Butter Falcon were both unpretentiously entertaining, however not something I'd been happy to pay for. If I'm honest. The older you get, the more movies you have in your luggage, the more discerning you get.



And somehow, the best thing about those outdoor movie evenings, were the walks home on warm summer evenings with crickets singing everywhere.

As far as the Know Thyself-philosophy course, that honestly annoyed me more than it delighted me. Well I finished that course, got my certificate. And decided, after all, to continue with the second one I'd already paid for. I felt it was interesting enough, concentrating on the Unconscious. I'm now in week 4 and I hope to get another certificate by the end of the week.

Slightly better, and yes interesting in some ways of course, than the initial course, but not really something I'd recommend. It's such a deep and wide subject, it deserves more time and work, and a professor that doesn't mumble rush through the classes. Also some proof-reading wouldn't go amiss.

Tomorrow my Sustainability Science class will begin - which will last until the end of December, at 25% part time. It'll be interesting to see how that'll be! Only digital this year.



This, my friends, is a magnificent piece. A vegan bake book, almost 450 pages of recipes and information on how to make, bake, create the perfect vegan cakes, cookies and pastries without harming animals or our planet.

The writer/baker, Karolina Tegelaar, has written several cook/bake books before this one (I haven't got any of them), but the most amazing thing with this one is that she's written it during 10 (!) years of trial and error baking herself through the pastries so we don't have to. With the motto "You should never settle for less that a perfect vegan cake".

As there's a lot of aquafaba involved in the recipes, I guess you must be terribly keen on making hummus (or any other chickpea dish) regularly if you plan to bake often and lost from Vegansk bakning. Myself I'm planning to start with something small.

And as I haven't had a food processor since 2017, I haven't baked any buns and breads since, and I can only bake cakes and cookies as things are now.

The pictures are lovely too. And the cover design obviously appeal to me, big time.



And on the subject of vegan pastries. This chocolate cake at the newly opened enjoyable cafe is vegan. And surprisingly lovely at that.

However, we were shocked to learn at our visit last week, that the almond hook they said were vegan is not. They contain egg white and has never been vegan. As I know that two staff people (of which one is one of the owners) have said it was vegan, and I've obviously asked very clearly, I'm really very annoyed by this. Had either of us been allergic to eggs it could have had devastating consequences.

Needless to say it's very unprofessional to run a food business where the staff doesn't know the ingredients of what they're selling.

And yes I have offered my services when it comes to the poor vegan selection and now obviously their ignorance. They have not bothered to get in contact.

So beware if you visit Petjo's cafe, if you're vegan, or allergic to any ingredients, you can't be really sure about what the staff claims. Disappointing but true.

They're also opening a bakery shortly, and you know how I miss my favourite city bakeries and their sourdough breads. However my giddy anticipation has faded somewhat after this incident.

The book in the picture, is a very interesting one on the right-wing racist part Sweden democrats (Sverigedemokraterna) and  social media campaigns with links to the Trump-strategy, Sverigevänner (Friends of Sweden, like those cohorts like to call themselves) by Swedish journalist Jonathan Lundberg. It's not exactly a book that fills you with inspiration and joy over the human kind and its intelligence. But alas, not every important read is.

These are indeed dark times, on so many levels and more than ever, we should keep ourselves informed. As well as be the change working against these dark forces in whatever little way we are able to.



On the brighter side of books, I highly recommend this one on Shinrin-yoku aka forest bathing, by Dr Qing Li. Did you know that 2/3 of Japan is covered by forest at the same time that the country is one of the most densely populated in the world?

It's an easy read, full of interesting facts on nature, health, well-being and research. Plus tips on how to incorporate forest-bathing as a routine in your daily life. Even if I think it's very difficult for most of us to do that 3 hours per day... But 30 minutes - 1 hour is better than nothing.



I'm trying my best to get back on track with my 55 books goal for 2020, but I'm still 7 books behind and I have 25 left to finish in order to reach the goal. I'm very good at starting new books, not equally good at finishing them all. As I like to stretch my brain with an eclectic mix, some of them get to be a bit heavy and uninteresting after a while, and the reading gets slowed down.

And to be honest, there are very few books that draw you in from page one and you just can't stop reading. They might still be good, just not enthrallingly good.

I've just started reading this one, and it's truly unique. Monster i terapi (Monster in therapy), by Jenny Jägerfeld and Mats Strandberg, is about four famous monsters in literature being subjected to modern therapy in current society. A fascinating read indeed. before corona hit I was about to attend a writer's talk with Mats Strandberg, and had looked forward to getting some of his books signed (he's an excellent horror writer), but alas it was cancelled. Hopefully there will be a day when real life gatherings of many is possible again...



One of my favourite shops in Stockholm, Krabat 53, was one of the victims of corona, and they had to close down last month. It was such a lovely, quirky, colourful gift shop and most of all it was the place where I got my regular Sonny Angel-fix. Aka the building blocks for my small Japanese nude boy angel dolls-collection.

As I'm not keen at all on paying for them in blind boxes - at the risk of getting a gazillion duplicates - I'll not continue to be the reasonably avid collector I've been for some years now. It'll be a rare treat to get one now and then, as my favourite provider is no more.

But there you are, and obviously there're better things to put your money on.



After the second heatwave of this weird summer 2020, we've experienced much welcomed rains. And rather distinctly cooler weather, too cool for late August, but as nothing is what normal used to be before climate change, one can only accept and deal with it. Even if I'd loved to wear happy summer dresses for some more weeks still.



Slowfashion, OOTD of the week and shoe per diem:

Dress and calf tote, Marimekko
Vegan sneakers, Adidas
Re-Kånken, Fjällräven

(what do you call a selfie in a library elevator?)

Farewell, August, I had so much more hope for you, I won't lie, you've left me sad and disappointed despite some glimmers of beauty and sprinkles of joy.

Welcome, September, will you be my sweetheart, pretty please? I desperately need sparks of progress and positive momentum galore.

dear, oatly, was that such a great decision?

You were one of my favourite companies, Oatly. You truly lived your values, sustainability to the core. Not only delicious, kind, dairy cruelty-free products - like milk, only made for humans! - you were sazzy, witty, clever and your copy and marketing were obviously inspired by my once-upon-a-time beloved innocent drinks.

But the fact that two major investors of your's now are Blackstone - notorious when it comes sustainability, playing a major part in the deforestation of the Amazonian rainforests for example - and the state of China - equally notorious - these deals come with a very bad aftertaste, I'm sad to say.

Just like innocent sold their core and soul to Coca Cola back then, you have now sold your values and soul to big business. It feels like a gargantuan green-washing deal. Once again, being true to your values means less when money talks.



I hope that everyone who criticize the deal (Swedish) and this (English) and questions your values will be proven wrong, that what is now perceived as naivety will prove to be smart foresightness. That a little plantbased, sustainability dedicated company from Skåne, Sweden will have a major positive, worldwide impact as opposed to being the brand that forefronts a lot of dirty, environmentally devastating dealings. Given that it's big business, and money over values and ethics, that got us in this climate emergency situation in the first place, I kind of doubt that though.

Your products are still great, your business ethics and choice of bedfellows with likeable celebrity figureheads does however not impress as much anymore. But time - whatever livable time we have left on this planet, of course - will tell...

55 books

Last year was the year when I decided to join GoodReads. Thought it was a good year to do so since I managed to read 52 books, Which may not be a big deal for you super book nerds out there, but for me, who have struggled with my reading mojo since my burnout (just previous to when I started this blog, which makes it over 15 years...), it's a really big deal.

This year I sat the goal to 55 books being read. I'm 4 books behind schedule, but still, I think 44% ie 24 books read already is pretty good.

Far from everyone has been a good read. But you can see which ones I've enjoyed the most from the stars given on GoodReads. So far I'm especially happy to have rekindled with Haruki Murakami's books. Despite it's 500ish pages, the Killing Commendatore, part I was a surprisingly quick read. I remembered how much I adore his writing style. Begun part II immediately, but I thought I should make it a slower read. And try to finish some shorter books in between.



This book is fantastic too, Norwegian writer Maja Lunde's acclaimed "Blå" (or in English 'The End of the Ocean'). For being such a tough and heartbreaking topic, the progress of climate change between the mid 20th to the mid 21st century. It's impossible to put down. I would actually go as far as to say it's one of the best books I've ever read.



If you want to read up on China, past and present, this is a few recommendations of mine. Jan-Phillipp Sendker's two latest books I've read this year, and am reading, the other ones are old, memorable ones from years ago. Including Swedish Henning Mankell's 'The Man from Beijing' ('Kinesen', you get to understand a lot of what made China to what it is through that book, and yet it's a fictional thriller).



I've also "rediscovered" Maria Lang's suspense novels with the dashing inspector Christer Wijk. I remember devouring them all (I think there's about 45 books by her) when I was a kid/teen. I realised I have 13 books of her's in my bookshelves, so I decided to read them this year. I wish I had them all, but this will do for now. Will have to look them up in thrift stores (whenever that is possible again...) and start a collection. She's Swedish equivalent to Agatha Christie, she lived in the pretty smalltown Nora, so most of her books are set there (then called Skoga) or in Stockholm. They're quite enjoyable, and easy reads, the characters are heavy smokers and the gender roles are rather skewed (written between 1949 - 1990), but  if you're able to look past that because of those times I think you'll enjoy them.



One of the books I'm currently reading is Shinrin-yoku (Forrest Bathing) by Dr Qing Li. Beautiful and fascinating book. I hope to be wiser and more open to using more of my senses when I go for walks in the woods after I've finished it.



You may remember the special relationship I have with the number 55, since 2017. The beautiful Stockholm city library is situated at number 55 by the way. It seem's befitting that 55 books read is a decent goal for a year when so much is turned upside down, I think. So much is about waiting these days, and with no place to go, reading is travelling in your mind at least. Making the slow life more meaningful and enlightening.

What's your book goal for 2020? 
Have you read something amazing yet? 
Or something you find overrated perhaps, or really bad even?

the waiting game

”Step outside, take a breath, listen to the calm and gentle sounds of nature. It is the sound of recovery.”

I know, it's been a long month since I last blogged. It's probably been a month of many ups and downs for us all. A bewildering month of many adjustments, a lost month but also full of insights and learnings.

Myself I also managed to catch a nasty cold - I'm pretty sure it wasn't Covid-19, as it was acting like my colds act, only it was prolonged into 2,5 weeks before I felt really well again. So during those weeks I only ventured out a few times to the garbage bin at dusk, to avoid people.

I haven't been in to inner city Stockholm since March 16, thus obviously haven't travelled by bus or train since then. Just walked around the neighbourhood and to the grocery store (it's great to get there at 7 am when they open up, perfect for social distancing). It feels surreal, life's taken a time out somehow.

I'm still proud to be a swede and our strategy of course, but I'm appalled at the selfish flippancy too many people seem to show as of lately, filling up restaurants, restaurateurs not taking responsibility despite clear restrictions, not taking the social distancing seriously as if spring and warmer weather is some magical overnight cure. The stupidity and ignorance, mindboggling.



Before corona struck I bought two vegan shoes from El Naturalista. I've been eyeing them for a year, but resisting since I (obviously) don't desperately need new shoes. But now there was a decent sale on, and I would (also obviously) love to have a few more non-leather shoes. I'm also thinking I'll finally sell some of my El Naturalista leather sandals, that I have only used a couple of times (not really my style or fit, but once I thought they were a must...), so less in more out.



Unexpected feline bonus of the purchase, Ågot absolutely adored the mesh bags that came with the shoes. You might think they were drenched in catnip.

Before corona I also had my discerning eye on a gorgeous skirt and dress from Marimekko. But I have to say that, nowhere to go, noone to see, working from home and only going for walks and picking up groceries has been a most effective way of curing shopping urges. And given the gazillion emails about sales, new collections at reduced prices I get every single day, I'm not the only one. I also think that with incomes and future job situations being really worrisome for many of us now, shopping for things that aren't a must seems pretty crazy. I mean, I already struggle to use my existing beautiful wardrobe right now.



Talking about shopping and consumerism, one of the two online classes I've been taking this past month is about Consumption, environment and climate. I can't say it's been an eyeopener as such, since I've spent so many years already reading and learning about the topic of sustainability. Obviously. And the obligatory test I took about my ecological footprint clearly shows that if people lived like me, the planet would be healthy, thriving place for us all. Yes, the combination of vegan living, chosing organic, slow fashion, not owning a car or flying a lot, choosing energy from renewable sources and more, can truly make a huge difference. It both infuriates and saddens me that people still don't get that. When politicians and big businesses fail us, we could make such a big difference ourselves just with our daily choices.



My other class is a Yale-course on the Science of Well-being. It's great! I'm also proud of the insight it has given me, that my main signature strength is Perspective, followed by Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence, Humour, Creativity and Love of Learning. I do love my perspective strength, but I have to say that given how the world looks and people still behave, it has also always been a struggle with this blessing. I so wish people would finally learn how to connect the dots, our current situation is such an obvious, heartbreaking lesson from Mother Nature we MUST. I will now embrace and acknowledge my strength more, use it even more for a greater good.

I'm now on the shivering last weeks of the course and rewiring my brain, which in my case is meditating regularly every day. And you know how long I've been struggling to make that a routine, in vain. I still struggle with focusing. But now I have better tools and insights to make it happen. And the quote from the course "A mind-wandering mind is an unhappy mind" has certainly striked a cord.

I've also applied for a university course at Stockholm Uni - Resilience Center on Sustainability Science. They've changed it into a digital class, still in Swedish, but available from anywhere in the world this time. I hope I'll be accepted, it's pretty much exactly what I've been looking for in vain until now. It'll start in late August, part-time for 6 months. I'll know if I got in in June. Fingers crossed.



As an intro/ambivert I don't miss interacting with people that much - I still go for social distancing walks with my mum and the neighbourhood's dog ladies - but I do miss the freedom of just taking the bus-train to the city, museums, walks, seminars, meetings, fika, lunches, you know, all those simple things we take for granted. Most of all though, I missed not being able to experience the blissful cherry blossom trees in Kungsträdgården this year. Last year seems like another world... Which, crazy enough, it truly is.

But I'm also grateful for the fact that the sadness over that has been alleviated by the fact that there are actually more cherry blossoms trees in my neighbourhood than I realised. They're obviously not as impressive as rows of 20+ years old trees, but the sight of them still light up my heart and mind.



I didn't get the job I went to an interview for in March. I was over-qualified, I was told that before the interview, but there were other benefits and great things about the job in question so I didn't mind at all. But it wasn't meant to be.

I've applied to two fantastic sounding jobs lately, they both get me salivating really (that is an extremely rare thing), last day of application hasn't been yet. So I'm holding my fingers crossed more firmly than ever before. Please join me in that firmly-fingers-crossing activity.



I promise there won't be a month's hiatus until the next post. I want to write about books, the fact that lipstick has become one of my small things in order to keep up some sort of normalcy, about all the lovely vegan food I've eaten, cooked and baked (yes even that, I haven't baked since 2017!) recently, about the thai food truck that has put up doors within walking distance and that they can veganize pretty everything on the menu, tea, feline shenanigans, great TV-series, movies and much more. So for a month lost to us all, April 2020, things still happen, life is slow but still very much there around us, within us. Savouring the little things is more important and obvious than ever before.

Goodbye April, I won't miss you, but you've been a master teacher of what's important and of what must change.

Welcome gorgeous, green May, I hope you will be a kinder teacher and great enabler.



"...you've been wandering in between, the things you have and your longings and your dreams..."

proud to be a swede

This needs to be said. I find it fascinating that so many people have so much time to spend having issues with how Sweden act in the corona crisis when absolutely noone has the right answers. This is new territory for us all. Keep calm and do your best kind thing. Listen to science and act responsibly. Time will tell.

Why not spend much more time condemning the horrific nasty wet markets reopening in China instead? Seriously. Not to mention scrutinizing your own choices when it comes to your plate. Why continue using, abusing, eating other sentient beings and continue being an obvious part of the problem instead of going #vegan and be part of the solution? Consuming animals is why we got here in the first place. Period. It's never the animals fault though, it's always human behaviour causing things like this. Karma is a bitch. Rightly so.

And as far as I can see so far, the virus-development in Sweden is definitely not worse (rather the opposite from recent numbers) than any other country with stricter measures. Things will of course get worse than this, before the peak is reached. We are all aware of that, but this how we carefully navigate unknown waters now, responsibly and fact based. 

I would be generally happier if all borders and flights were closed for the time being, and obviously that Swedes from the more affected areas (namely Stockholm city) didn’t travel to the countryside and their summer cottages so we can flatten the curve. (The sense of entitlement by some selfish pricks are always mindboggling... Though  that’s a universal thing, not a Swedish one. This piece of Party Zero in Westport, Conneticut had me fuming for example...) 

But other than that, as far as I can see, it seems like the majority of Swedes actually do have that much talked about common sense aka folkvett. As a great column (in Swedish only) talked about today, I’m proud to be Swede today just because of the way we’re handling the corona crisis: ”I’m proud to be Swedish right now. And not Danish for example. Or French. We’re allowed to think for ourselves.”

And let me tell you, being Swedish born and bred it’s a very rare thing for me to be proud of Sweden these days - and you long term readers know how critical and disappointed I am, and have been for many many years, about the misuse of resources, competence, taxpayers money, gutless politicians and now greenwashing of costly environmental initiatives in Sweden, to mention a few things. Still, grateful in so many ways for having been born and bred here yes, but proud not so much at all. But when it comes to this current crisis, strangely enough I generally am. 

On a very heartwarming note, the fact that it didn't take many days of lockdown until wild animals were slowly fearlessly taking over cities, that's just amazing in so many ways. If you haven't heard of the posse of goats roaming the streets in Welsh Llandudno yet, you have now!

PS If you've never seen purple potatoes, you have now. DS

everything is connected and figureoutable

We're living in strange times. And it's difficult to know where to start. What can one write that doesn't seem trivial or selfish. What I do know though, is that this certainly is the epitome of "It was the worst of times, it was the best of time".

Can you imagine, when we have gotten through all this - with a lot of heartache, sorrow and stupid mistakes along the way, I'm sure. But how hard it is to grasp amidst darkness, the hardest lessons brings the greatest growth. Always have, always will - how many positive changes we can bring to this world, to our obsolete systems??

The Covid-19 situation clearly stems from the majority of the world being completely disconnected to the natural world and other sentient beings. Nature (thank you, Karma) has probably never been so crystal clear with a vengeance in how unsustainable and disgustingly void of compassion our lifestyles are.

Stop eating, using and abusing animals. Enough now.

Our economic system is broken. And has been so for too long. When we've gotten through this we need to switch to a Universal Basic Income. That would improve so much in our lives and in this world.

Everything is connected. This is a violent wake up call from Mother Nature. Will people listen and connect the dots, finally?



I did have a lot of this and that updates for this post, but then corona happened. And I don't know what to think about people, about the situation, about the world anymore. If things seemed incomprehensible in many ways before, they're even more muddled now. Or, these times clearly show the true nature of both people and companies. Those who are stupid, selfish, ignorant and plain evil. Vs those who are thinking, progressive, kind and open to change that needs to happen.

I think I'll save the this-and-that-post to another time. For a lighter post. It's after all been pretty much four weeks since the last one, who knew that March 2020 would turn out to be such an epically world-turning month. I said that kindness is infectious, clearly less welcome (but perhaps desperately needed from nature's point of view) things are too.

Today it's also 4 (!) years since M passed away. I'm wiser, I'm stronger, I'm better. But also, another year of feeling that so much has happened yet so little. I'm still feeling so far away from where I want to be in life, from my true purpose. I feel I'm meeting enough people - but is it the right people? And if not, where on earth do I find the right people, my kind of people?

I feel I have a clear message of where I want to be, need to be, to contribute in the best way. But apparently I still haven't been able to connect with the right crowd, at the right time, as far as I know. It is a waiting game of, for me, epic proportions. And it is exhausting.

These days, in the here and now though, I'm ever so grateful for being an introvert (ambivert). And the cats. Always the cats. And then the rest, everything, is figureoutable.

My current music crush is a sad one. But oh so beautiful. Like life. And it fits my mood.



Hope you're in a good, safe place in life.
Everything will be fine in the end, because it has to.
It really does. Kindness and compassion are the powers that will heal us all.

the universe has your back and other november snippets

November has been an incredibly dreary month, with only a few hours of sunlight. A long, dark, listless month leaving me exhausted and lacking in energy, no matter healthy eating, supplements and movement. I can't understand how anyone can be anything else than exhausted and uninspired during these circumstances. Our month of November ended with a lot of snow yesterday and a generous amount of sun today. Alas those hours of much needed natural vitamin D can't make up for a complete lack there of for one month. No matter how lovely it was.

This lack of energy obviously also means I've had and have very little inclination and inspiration to blog. It hasn't been an uneventful month, but at the same time, I can't say I've gotten any closer to my main goal of the year yet, as far as I know.

I have however read, and am reading, two books of Gabby Bernstein, not the latest one on being a super attractor, but "The Universe has Your Back" - which I found rather interesting, despite its icky praying all the time-ness - and now doing the "May Cause Miracles" 6 weeks kickstart to happiness. I can understand and embrace the importance of a shift in thinking, from fear based to love based, to move forward and attract your goals. But I can't relate to every chapter and I still find all that praying unpleasant and uncomfortable. That said, the book has really made me think a lot and its teachings can of course be adapted to both challenge and suit its reader's circumstances and needs. Week 3, here I come.



A short summary of my month of November (sans photos) -

• A lovely vegan afternoon tea at Sigtuna Stadshotell
• The second of Bric-a-Brac's annual second hand-clothes-selling for a good cause.
• A great breakfast seminar on the environmental and health benefits of remote work.
• A lovely facial at Dermalogica. And apparently my skin isn't nearly in as bad condition as I think. Let's see what the dermatologist says in a couple of weeks...
• Getting tickets for the Pet Shop Boys tour, in June next year, huzzah.
• A little afternoon tea at my local library (I got vegan treats) and sharing of our favourite British books.
• A proper vegan feast at one of my favourite bakeries, Bageri Passion, last Saturday. It was an absolutely fantastic initiative. It's such a rare thing that us vegans get such a display of high quality bread and pastries to chose from, I enjoyed everything I bought but my number one favourite was the Budapest roll which was totally magical. (photo from the event above)
• Another inspiring breakfast seminar on keeping and mending the things we already have, and not contribute to the vicious consumerism cycle (of which the awful Black Friday gimmick makes me sick, it's absolutely disgusting that it's not banned yet.) as it's one of the major reasons our planet is doomed. Talks and panels with people from NGOs, academia, authorities, companies and also politicians.
• Watching "Last Christmas" at the cinema, which turned out to be a nice bagatelle imho. But then nothing will ever be able to compete with "Love Actually"'s perfectness.
• Getting addicted to the Elf yourself-app. It's hilarious, and I can't stop watching or creating new ones.
• A writer's talk at the library with prominent feminist Ebba Witt-Brattström. She was brilliant.

Thank you November, you've been dark, glum, depressing, but also full of important lessons and inspiring moments and people.

Welcome December, can you please be lighter, brighter and kinder. than your predecessor? And remember that all I want for Christmas - except for politicians that finally rise to the occasion, take our devastating climate crisis seriously and a peaceful all vegan world of course - is finding my dream job and my kind of people. I'll be doing everything I can on my side, while I trust you to work the magic in your special way, m'kay? Many grateful, loving thank yous in advance.

goodbye july, hello august 2019

July 2019 - the month I finished not only my goal of 5 books, but 8. Hooray. Plus am a few chapters into even more books. And yes again, the more I read the less I write obviously.

That said. Apart from books what has the last few weeks of July been like than? For the most part very hot, debilitatingly, depressingly so. But at last the temperature dropped drastically yesterday - with unusually low temperatures for the season instead, which are also climate change caused of course. But at least you can breath. And sleep.



I got a general letter from my Dr Dentist thanking me for the years as is patient, but he is now going to retire and his practice is sold to another dentist. It was quite a shock, didn't realise he'd reach that age, he doesn't look like it. But I suppose, since I have been seeing him since I was a kid, it's no surprise... I will now have to look for a new dentist for my annual checkups, and as his skills was the only reason I did those 2 hours single trip commute to the other side of town I will have to try and find one much closer to home, from recommendations.

Finding good doctors and dentists (and not least veterinarians) you trust is no mean feat. I guess I've been spoilt really, with my dentist.



On the subject of doctors, I accompanied my mother to the hospital for a check-up last week and read this article in one of their magazines in the waiting room. About more and more Swedes going vegetarian and vegan. It was illustrated by one of the most powerful images I've ever seen. It is this simple, with one hand you choose life, health, the planet, the other one is just needless pain and suffering for innocent beings, and for the planet we all share.



Went on a day trip to university town Uppsala with little mum. Some years back they extended the commuter train lines to Arlanda airport and the Uppsala, making it much easier to get there, but also much less charming than taking a proper train. The commuter train ticket prices are ridiculously high for those extra miles though, so even if it's a nice little trip it's pretty costly I'd say.

Anyway, we arrived early and began to slowly saunter to the city centre. An hour after our arrival I tripped on those darn cobblestone streets and fell slap-bang on knees and hands. The first thing I cried was "oh no, hope the phone didn't break!" - when it would have been worse if I re-broke my hand obviously. It was pretty painful, if not much blood and I felt both dizzy and nauseous for about an hour afterwards and had to rest on a bench. Luckily it passed and we continued up to the cathedral, had a vegan nicecream and continued with walking around town.



This is me after the incident, with the nicecream in sight. I may have several super-powers, but the least pleasant one is my inclination to trip, slip and fall when least expected. Even if it, touch wood, doesn't happen often, it happens regularly. And the amount of scars on my knees tell a long story. And obviously the tale of two broken arms, one in my twenties (the cat bathing incident) and the other one last year (the cat vomit incident).

I was pretty sore for about a week, partly still is, my right hand and my left knee took most of the beating. And I had seriously huge bruises. Still am a bit tender, but it feels a bit better everyday, thankfully. It could have been so much worse.



We visited a really lovely tea shop - with cat tea, Uppsala is the hometown of the famous author of the children's books about Pelle Svanslös, Pelle No Tail - and had a great vegan buffet late lunch before it was time to head back home. I so enjoy these unpretentious day trips, with no particular musts and shoulds, just a bit of sightseeing and something great to eat in towns you've been to before. Hopefully there'll be time for a few more day trips in August.



In August I'm also attending a vegan cooking class. It's not that I don't cook a lot already, obviously, but I thought it would be fun to mingle a bit, get new contacts and pick up new tricks and ideas. The evening will take place at a small vegan restaurant that mainly focus on raw food and catering.



Remember the job interview that was re-schedule for August? Got an email last week saying the position was filled now. In the middle of the holiday season. When they said they couldn't do interviews until the second week of August. If it had been at another time of the year I could've understand that when they found a good match they stopped all interviews. But not at this time, high summer, that's just blatant unprofessional behaviour. And that's just what I told them.

So incredibly tired of all these unprofessional, incompetent recruitment companies and clueless HR departments. But I guess this learning experience, as jaded as it's getting me, is simply a part on my quest for the Dream Job with my kind of people. Onwards and upwards.



I got myself a stylish rain poncho. A garment which probably only Marimekko and the Unikko pattern would entice me to do. But then the heavy rains stopped and I haven't used it yet. But I was so tired about getting soaked despite umbrella, when it was windy and heavy rain fell. So hopefully this will be a very good thing come rain next.



Last week I welcomed Mr/s Hedgehog 2019. A fairly big one and so far just one. Love how the cats are still happy and curious to see them. If my memory serves me right this is the 12th year I'm honoured to host the Hedgehog DropInn in my garden.



Of the eight July books read, I think this one was the most powerful. In all its simplicity. "Scener från hjärtat" (Scenes from the heart) is written by the family Ernman - Thunberg (yes, Greta Thunberg, her mother world-famous opera singer Malena Ernman, her father and sister). It's absolutely heartwrenching about a family in crisis, a wrecked social system and not least a world that's burning on the brink of collaps, but very few react and act accordingly. For me it was highly relatable. And for those who still think Greta isn't capable of all the amazing, inspiring things she does herself, but a puppet on a string, that's clearly and simply not true. The book should be obligatory reading for everyone.



Thank you, July, for every lessons learnt, the good, the bad and everything between. Good people, good food, good books and cat cuddles galore.

Welcome, August. I'm so excited to see you, beautiful, wistful, last month of summer. Please bring good news, good health and fine things, and not least, it is about high time for that much awaited, hard worked for, Dream Job now, don't you agree?