Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Joke's On Me

Today I had quite a horrible meeting, with what can only be described as a complete schizo nitwit. It left me feeling offended in many ways, insinuant and ignominiously questioned, treated like a very less than knowing ex-sick-listed deformed victim, sad, upset and REALLY. VERY. ANGRY. Anger is good. Hold on to that anger. Use it constructively.

I kind of feel I keep repeating myself a whole lot, but the Swedish employment centre has just been an awardwinning horrible joke - if it wasn't really serious business -, all the way from the beginning. Even if I had my serious doubts before I unfortunately had to enroll there I shrugged and thought *hey this won't be forever, me and my competence won't be enrolled here for long. Go through the motions and soon it'll just be a distant deplorable memory to sigh and snort at*.

Instead it has sort of turned into something resembling a psychological thriller, from which you can't seem to escape. Speak, but don't speak too much, act, but don't act too much, play along and keep silent. On the one hand I need to move on, but since I for ungraspable reasons can't seem to get at least a decent step along that road of a new beginning I can't explore other possibilites since in this glorious Surveillance Society of Sweden you should always keep in line, fill in the forms, follow even the silliest, most incomprehensible rules and regulations imaginable.

And hey, I'm certain silly rules and regulations can be found in most any country, but this is me, here and now. I feel like a round ball trying to squeeze myself into a square shape to fit in the provided box.

Here are some low-water marks of today's meeting (be warned, this is going to be long) -

* So you're a lawyer, do you have an education or a degree? (No, I call myself that just for fun)

* So you like cats. Do you have children? No. Ah, cats. Instead. How many? - Seriously? As many as I see fit (none of your f***ing business!!)

* Looking at my current CV, well, you just can't write down the coaching under courses since you haven't learn anything from them - excuuuussseee me?? It's a part of my personal development, it's given me a lot of helpful tools that I will take with me wherever I go, am, work, it stays, none of your business

* Still looking at my CV, it's misleading to write that you've attended a course in purchase since you've dropped out - look, I've written that it's an introduction course, nowhere does it say I have a degree, it was a two months more than fulltime course and it stays

* Looking at one of my job applications, you can't write you've attended a course in purchase since you haven't, you've dropped out from a course in purchase - look, I've written I've attended an introduction course which gives me an insight in the profession, I'm not saying I have a degree, and it was completely relevant for the job I applied for

* Still looking at the same job application, why do you write so much about yourself, there's nothing more to tell at a job interview - what. the. f---, are you for real?? Do you think all of me and my skills fit on a 3/4 A4 page, Of. Course. I've emphasized on the skills I have which has been requested in the add

* I've also applied for less qualified jobs, but I just have no chance since I'm overqualified for them - if you apply for such jobs you of course have to remove your degrees and qualifications from your CV - (ah, so you mean I should erase about 20 years of my life then, I see. You don't think 20 years blank in a CV looks somehow... weird?)

(Btw, I have a burning question, if you have such great skills in recruitment and how to write a CV, why do you work here then...?)

* You're most probably looking for the wrong jobs, apply for those that match your skills - (of course) I already am. I don't apply for any undoable jobs but the ones that in a reasonable way fit my skills (and just so you know, a job advert often states requests not demands)

* But if you pick and chose like that you can miss opportunities - excuse.

* It's only been a year, you've done really great with those job interviews - I really don't agree, that's why I hope the academics agency and their coach will help in sharpening my CV

* We're here to support and help you, but you realize that everything we do here precedes the academics agency you've enrolled in... - well, that's just great, you haven't been able to help me with one darn thing for over a year, rather the opposite really, and now, when I finally, after queueing for nearly six months, got a place at that agency you have the audacity to question this... Blimey!!

* I think you should start with worktraining - yes a traineeship would be nice and a step forward, if I could get one - no, not a traineeship, I think what you really need is an eight week work capacity evaluation. With an assistant that will follow you everyday at work and make notes on how much you're capable of. You'll then get an evaluation and we will work with that - Meaning: You've been previously sick-listed for so long that you don't know what's best for you or what you really want or need

* Now you have one week to decide if you want to worktrain or if you want to be work capacity evaluated. I so recommend the latter since your days of compensation are ticking and if you go for the other option we have to find a cheap employer - ?? ?? ??

* If you want to reach me, please call me midmornings since I'm part time sick-listed - Ok. Ey. So that makes it perfectly fine to treat me like some less than knowing ex-sick-listed oddity then? Right. Hear you. Tosser nitwit.

And the worst thing of it all was really the way she somehow managed to in mid meeting do a complete about-face, turning all empathetic milk and honey. I got this distinct feeling that if she couldn't break me by insults - and amidst it all I was. So. Very. Grateful. That I could counterargue - she would try to do it by showing insipid empathy instead. Sickening and scary in a delightful mix.

That was a slice of my day, how about yours?


aforkfulofspaghetti said...

Wow. I feel your rage. And it strikes a chord - about 4 years ago, I had to do much the same. And then I had to pitch up, every fortnight, with evidence of what I'd done to get a job in the meantime. Like you, I'm a lawyer. Like you, I was looking to do something else. The job centre was as much use as a poke in the eye. After 6 months, I decided the only way forward was to set up my own business.

I wish you the very best of luck - it's not a fun process, I know. Try to hang on hard to your dignity, and don't be pushed into anything you don't want to do (not that you would be, I'm sure). Above all, don't let the b*st*rds get you down!

Pia K said...

Thanks ever so much for that comment, aforkful!! I'd really like to hear more about this and your decision...

I'm hanging on to my dignity. So far. And my anger.

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