Stumbled over some pretty, cosy Pippi-patterned socks (the small navy ones for my mother, the white one for me). And although they are cute and fun the most obvious thing about them, at this moment in time, is the fact that they - unlike my other Pippi-patterened matters - will never be inspected or enjoyed by someone loaf shaped and fun.
Yes, everything I do, everything I see, I keep thinking "now this would be something little loaf would like, this would be perfect for a photo session with loafie, never mind I dropped that piece of carrot on the floor, liquorice nose will snatch it in no time" - but there will never be any pitter patter of loaf paws on my floor ever again. You keep expecting his little shaggy, mischiveous face popping up demanding to be lifted up in sofa when you watch TV, getting a litte sandwich piece when I'm having breakfast, licking our plates with great gusto after dinner. Laughing about his farts, sighing over him always wanting to be the center of attention. All his little noises and quirks, never again. After nine years all that is so familiar and comforting. How many years will it take to make it unfamiliar again?
And I can't help but thinking about the things unbearable I dreaded in January. That in the end turned out alright. But then it happened anyway. Unexpected. The thing unbearable.
Some of life's lemons are just not suitable for lemonade, pie or G&T.
What will the rest of the year 2013 be like, I wonder.
2 comments:
I remember the pippi sweater from a post awhile back.....those patterns are so nautical and sweet. Love them.
I have a certain sweet licorice-nosed bookmark that has long been my favorite, but even more so now. I hope you are finding some comfort in sweet kitty faces and memories. I've been thinking of you lots and lots these days. Xxxx
It's been 3 years since I lost my sweet Terrier girl and I still have those kind of thoughts but they are now oddly comforting to remember her and the things she enjoyed. I've been thinking of you too.
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