Being A Friend or Ferdinand

Today we spend a lovely time with a couple of friends - this blog entry was really going to be about what we did, but when the mind wanders, the interact grows and is better turned into an entry all by itself... - who live and own a company in Norrtälje. They're very involved in their community and seem to know someone, everyone whenever, wherever we spend time with them in their neighbourhood.

Even if it might seem appealing to live life like that in a smaller community with everyone knowing pretty much everything about everyone else, and being so very involved in community activities - it's really not my way of living. Never have been, pretty sure it'll never be.

I'm happy with the more anonymous way of living in the big city, well, the very outskirts of the city, really, rather much the countryside - but still, here one can choose ones own activities more freely, how to behave - as long as you don't disturb or hurt anyone -, who to socialize or not with.

I suppose this might sound sort of self-important - who the *flamingo* cares - but I'm not really interested in socializing with everyone just for the sake of being "social". I'm far from anti-social, but I'm choosy with whom I want to spend time with. I love hanging around with fun, intelligent people, people that make me think and laugh. I want the time spent with others to be quality time.

Meaningful time, not always deep, profound, penetrating giving-me-incentives-to-go-out-in-the-world-and-making-it-a-better-place, but if the time spent with others doesn't leave me happy, content, relaxed, sometimes giving me an eye-opener, others making me a bit wiser - then I'm more than happy spending time with myself. Being a female, human version of Ferdinand sitting under the cork oak smelling the flowers. Being my very own best friend.

And being acquaintances with people is fine, but friends that's another story. Imagine that our paths crossed at that particular time, that we were heading in the same direction and found each other, that our way of thinking connected. Yes, for me friendship is one of life's precious gifts...

Friendship is a give-take situation, with a person with whom you're on the same wavelength with. You don't have to agree on every issue - how boring and undeveloping - but just that shared attitude towards life and living.

Someone you can have a meaningful discussion with, someone that makes your grow, that makes you see things in a different light. Not just a superficial contact, a one way conversation with someone self-absorbed who just want to talk about them self and never listen to or care about others. A good friend is also and always a good listener!

And there are variants of friendship. For different occasions, for different issues, for different times in life. Just like lovers you can grow apart. Some friends you see and talk to on a regular basis, others you for various reasons don't see all that often. But on those, perhaps, rare occasions you see or talk to each other it's like it was only yesterday you last met.

The kind of friendships were you know each other so well you don't feel the need to touch friendship base all that often. But the times you do meet you enjoy the more. And when you need a helping hand you know it's there to grab a hold to. They're special, those friendships.

By being picky, choosy with the people you want to spend time with, perhaps your missing out on building that hip-all-that-matters thing of building a web of connections? Which is supposedly all that means anything if you want to build a career, or even get a decent job it seems, for yourself nowadays. Not talent, inclination, education, personality, drive and strive, but that contact web.

Ah, but I'm no spider, I'm my own Ferdinand and I'm perfectly happy just smelling the flowers.