organic, vegan pink bubbly wine

Nothing has changed, I still rarely drink wine because 

a) there are so much better and healthier things and experiences to buy for your money than alcohol and

b) 99,9% of the wine I have ever tasted have been absolutely vile - not as vile as every beer in the whole wide world (nb, I don’t consider Berliner Weisse as beer-beer obviously...) but close enough, ugh.

But when I picked up the dairyfree Bailey’s Almande - which is nice, but I find it much more watery than the original Bailey's, almond milk isn't very creamy in itself, as well as not being the best plantbased milk from a sustainable point of view obviously, it demands a lot of water. Oat milk gives a much nicer creamy consistency... - 

five months ago, I thought it could be fun to try a pretty in pink organic, vegan wine that the sales clerk recommended - Pink Bubbly from  German brand Black Tower.

Opened it yesterday, and I have to say I was very pleasantly surprised. It's quite delicious, very fruity and fresh.

I still think there are so much better things to spend your money on though, but IF I’d like to drink a vegan wine again, this would definitely be it. 

And still waiting for a vegan, organic, non-alcoholic wine that’s actually drinkable to appear on the market though. Not very impressed by the ones I've tried. They're clearly made for people who (for some odd reason) enjoy regular wine with its repulsive tannic acid flavour. Not for us that want a nicer, kinder, tasty festive beverage.

Alcohol seems to have the same effect as coffee or black tea these days for me, I can't sleep. Just another reason not to drink it I suppose.

easter shenanigans in pink

Over Easter I began planning in my Bullet Journal, one of my goals for April and forward was to blog 1-2 per week. I've already begun slacking obviously. At least there are other areas where I've ticked a reasonable amount of boxes. And I honestly think we would be very boring humans if we got A+ in every single thing we aimed for. Life is so much more fun and interesting if we leave room for spontaneity and life's little surprises, wouldn't you agree?

And just as the BuJo principle says, if you haven't ticked the box there's always a new month for that task. Or perhaps it's not important enough, and can instead be removed form the to do lost.

Welcome to my easter shenanigans in many shades of pink!



As if I needed more tea. I got it anyway, easter calls for special tea. Including a refill of the wonderful angel tea I bought after the completion letter session in my grief recovery process group. And as M's birthday would have been on the 19th, and instead his funeral was on the 20th, three years ago, I got it so we could have a cup of tea together of sorts.



As is also obvious by now, is that everything need special snoopervising by special feline lens louses in this household. In the end, everything is about the cats. And more often than not about this redhead.



I picked up the green Marimekko blouse that needed altering, from the tailor. It looked great and I inaugurated it on a museum visit to one of my favourite Stockholm museums, Thielska - which I wrote a bit about 12 (!) years ago - there was a special exhibition on the Dalecarlian design sisters Jobs - behind my beautiful slippers from 2011 - the exhibition wasn't very good alas. (Unlike the William Morris at Millesgården on my birthday.)





But visiting the charming Thielska gallery is always lovely. And I got to visit the magical tower room with it's painted ceiling animals and see one of my favourite paintings, The Knight and the Maiden. The only vegan dish on the menu in the cafe was rubbish though. An overpriced salad in serious need of protein and lots of love. Plus a cheeky seagull that snatched parts of it before I sat down.







I enjoyed my breakfasts al fresco, with my special Easter teas and the vegan Easter muesli. And look, Zigne. Plus speckled eggs nails and dairyfree chocolate bunnies. Wish I had bought more that one jar of that muesli, it was so crunchy and lovely.





There was a simple vegan Easter lunch and too much plantbased candy. Loveliness. I read books, watched movies, went for walks, cleared the garden from the clematis. It's absolutely crazy how it grows and grows and grows every year. Still need to figure out how to get the garden waste to the disposal site. Tricky without a car of your own. But problems are there to be solved.



Remember the vegan hair colours from Swedish cruelty free brand Maria Nila? I saved them for a first use until spring. And what better than try one of them during Easter weekend? I chose pink and I'm happy to say that despite still being predominantely brunette my hair now has now highlights of light pink (thank you greys!) and a pink overall glow. As it's only hair mask and colour refresher it'll only last 8-10 washes, but I think that's perfect to have a play with. Looking forward to try the blue one. And as the pink was such a hit I'm no stranger to find more colours to try.



And the gorgeousness of pink cherry blossom trees in Kungsträdgården happened during Easter too. It was their 20th year of bloom this year. Pure magic as usual. And another year of collecting pictures for my long-term planned book "Men under pink cherry blossom trees".





Here is the blue Kånken my mother went for, ended up replacing the one I bought for her birthday for a blue that suited her better. And look, Zigne.





The vegan brunch I treated her for on her birthday, on Easter Sunday, was lovely. Happy birthday to little mum, and many more to come, I hope and wish!





Got me some lovely soaps from Lush. Miss that Serendipity (you know, my favourite English word, and notion) has been discontinued, but Rockstar and Maypole are other favourites I return to. Plus the scrubby Sandstone is pretty good too. And look, a cat. A photobombing cat. How unusual.



There have been many sunny, beautiful days since I last blogged. But as we're in desperate need of rain to cope with the probable hot summer, and this is just too warm too soon, I struggle to appreciate the beauty amongst climate angst and, frankly, human stupidity everywhere.

- Yes, I also think the fire in Notre Dame is sad. But I think human priorities are just crazy warped when so much money can be collected into the cause of rebuilding it, when the whole world is on fire and desperately needs rebuilding and caring for. There will be no planet to live on, breath on and enjoy architecture and culture on, if we don't stop using and abusing instead of rebulding and caring for nature and species we share this planet with, first. That there are in fact private citizens who have so much money, and so little common sense obviously, to give away and chose to give to such a cause when there are a gazillions more important causes out there, that's mindboggingly distasteful and infuriating, in my opinion. -



But as someone wise said, nature won't thank us for not appreciating the beauty it still offers. Despite its seasons being warped. Who knows how much time we have left, the planet have left. I will appreciate more, I promise, despite my constant companion, melancholia.

I had looked forward to wearing the combo above all winter, when the day finally came, during Easter week, it was too warm, too soon. But yes, at least I have an abundance of colourful clothes and combos I get happy just thinking about combining and wear. And that I appreciate lots.



And colourful, quirky cats with lots of character. Who I am every so grateful for.



Apart from starting the Bullet Journal during Easter - not fully in to the daily process yet though, but I hope it'll help me focus and tick more boxes than before - I also finished that reversed job-ad for LinkedIn, I have no idea if these things actually work or if it's a lot of much ado about nothing. Time will tell I suppose.



As this will be the last post for April, I want to say thank you ever so much, month, for everything colourful, beautiful, magical, pink and kind things you have gifted. And all the amazing plantbased food and drinks. You have not been without struggles and sadness, but you have taught me a lot and for that I am grateful.

Welcome, May, I can't begin to tell how excited, curious,wishful and not least impatient I am over what you will bring! Can we decide that it will only be good, very good, much good things? A gazillion grateful thanks in advance.

vegan snickers dessert

What better way to start the glorious month of May than with an irresistable, easy to make, delicious dessert? Here's finally the adapted recipe of that lovely plantbased Snickers dessert I made during Easter. Chocolate, peanuts and crunchy biscuits all the way, baby! It's served with chocolate sauce and obviously I think you should make your own, from this delicious easy peasy recipe.



Snickers dessert
6 servings

50 g dark chocolate (coarsely chopped)

2 tbsp oat milk

2 tbsp cacao

0,5 dl crunchy peanut butter

0,5 dl light syrup

flaked salt

2 dl Alpro soy cream (I'm sure you can use oat cream or coconut cream too)8 st digestive biscuits (without palm oil, I use Ica's own)
chocolate sauce

2-4 tbsp chopped peanuts

1. Blend chocolate, oat milk, cacao, peanut butter, syrup and salt in a pot. Stir and melt on low heat until smooth and shiny cream. Let it cool somewhat.
2. Whip the soy cream until fluffy and firm.  
3. Slowly add the chocolate cream into the whipped cream and blend properly into a mousse.
4. Crush the digestive biscuits a bit and dispense in 6 glasses or small bowls.
5. Ladle the Snickers mousse over the crushed biscuits. Pour chocolate sauce on top and then som chopped peanuts.

Enjoy! NB Beware of snoopervisors who love the mousse too.

Recipe in Swedish here.

even in a world with pink, vegan meringues life is still complicated

Sometimes I miss those early days blogging, when very few friends knew about the blog and I most definitely never mentioned it in work related situations. Even if I've always been very careful and neutral about whom I mention or write about - 

never ever any names and the rule is as always "If I don't want certain people to see or read this I don't publish it". Simple as that. -

I still have a distinct feeling I was more free in my blog writing a few years ago.

The vast majority of my blog readers come from the US - which I find curiously interesting, hello there! - and that's fine and lovely. Other countries, equally lovely. It's when it gets too close to home for comfort I get a bit taken aback. When it suddenly dawns that hey, those colleagues and friends of M - if any of you guys still reads, hello to you too -, those work related people and followers actually do pop in and read. Then I realise I'm not really comfortable to write quite as freely as I used to. Even if I've never been really private I've always been personal and sometimes that feels pretty awkward now too.

And admittedly it's basically my own fault, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned my blog quite as openly to people. And I probably shouldn't have added it to my LinkedIn profile. Or published some posts on Twitter. Used it as my text portfolio. Really, silly me.

On the one hand this ties my hands in writing, on the other hand (the none tied one) it forces me to develop my writing in a new direction. Which will never be completely new since I find that keeping it personal is always the best way to keep it. Still, I'm keeping a fair bit of my emotional life off blog these days. Since I would be really sad if what I would like to write about now in any aspect would affect my professional life in a negative way. It may be silly, it may be true, it may be instinct, it may be over-analyzing. All despite the fact that my gut feeling says yes. My heart says yes, but my head, my practical head says no.

And no matter how much I've come to trust the gut and no matter how much I've grown this last year, this is a hurdle I'm not willing to deal with. I don't even know how. And certainly not in blog.

See, even in a world where something as delightful as pink, vegan meringues exist life continues to be complicated. Or at least us humans complicate things. Especially where emotions are involved.

So to not complicate things further - I will talk this through with a trusted friend tomorrow instead - I will now write a bit about the fact that my poor leaky roof got an emergency fix last week. It was a huge crack straight across the roof, the roofer said he had never seen anything like it and I saw the picture proof. Things will hopefully keep over winter now, but the roof needs complete replacement come spring and the cost for that is a crazy one. Depending on how extensive work that needs doing, but still hello hefty price.

But I have dealt with so much issues this past 1,5 years so of course I will find a solution to this too. For now I'm just grateful I can't hear that sound of drip drip drip anymore.

So, how about some fabulously inspiring vegan dishes in next post? - yes, I thoroughly enjoy my new role as food inspirer/food ambassador. Haven't cooked so many meals in years, tea and sandwiches or porridge is usually fine for dinner en mi casa, now it's hello wonderful flavours and textures galore! 

Or some colourful outfits - haven't done that in a long long time, but as someone kindly asked for that, who am I to say no?

Both most certainly light hearted, non complicated topics. Life is made of that too. Much like sweet pink, vegan meringues.

do you want spagetti or macaroni?

After a really busy month, as well as naturally emotionally month, I've realised that despite coming a long long way this last year I now need professional grief counselling. It has been a year of getting myself through a day, week, month at a time. And some days have been great, they really have. But there have also been many days when I've been playing the role of normal, brave and strong. Despite feeling far from.

I have accomplished a lot, grown so much, over this year. But with all the practical things I've been forced to deal with I haven't really had the time to process the grief as such. At least it doesn't feel like that now, I feel emotionally stuck. I have lost my foothold. Feeling more melancholic than ever. Even if some days still are really great.

But I feel that if I don't get professional help - sometimes there's only so much writing, talking with friends and cat cuddles can do to help - I will continue to feel blocked and unable to move emotionally forward. No matter how smart and analyzing cookie you are, sometimes you need a helping, listening, questioning hand that's able to give you the right tools and point you in a healthy direction.

So parallel to working and continuing to sort out practicalities - neverending story - this is my current project. Yes, looking at it as a project makes it easier somehow.

As far as the work is concerned I'm alas no closer to that illusive part time employment (as far as I know) but I have ticked off 3,5 of my 5 professional goals of the year, huzzah. More of that in another post I think. I've actually applied for a few full time jobs too, because they've sounded great as well as flexible. Turned out at least one wasn't flexible at all, despite what they claimed at the interviews, they wanted someone who was "passionate about working in an office and didn't need flexibility". Yes actual quote, really, in 2017. I'm glad I got away, we wouldn't have made eachother happy in the long run.

Oh, I feel I have lots of things to write about, but I also feel that this post should be mainly about being stuck in emotional cross roads of sorts. Simple daily sentences like "Do you want spagetti or macaroni for dinner?", who knew you one day would miss such mundane comments so much? Life is short, potentially much shorter than we could ever imagine, and I desperately want and need to get emotionally unstuck. There is no going back, there is only moving on.

easter 2017 ~

Easter used to be my favourite holiday. But since M's death last year on Wednesday before Easter it is with very mixed emotions I enter this weekend. 

Since Easter this year is much later than last year I had hoped it would be easier, but unfortunately next week is his shoul-have-been birthday as well as date of funeral so well, it's not a very joyous time...

Some day it'll get easier, a year down the line not so much.

I got a very unexpected phone call yesterday with a possible offer of something - not work-related - that I hadn't thought of at this moment in time, but the more I think of the possibility the more it feels very right. I hope it will happen and that it will be as sweet as I imagine - perhaps I'll have some cute news to blog about next week.

Also, the cherry blossom trees are very early this year (due to some warm days in March, even if snow fell today...). It was a lovely, albeit cold, sight yesterday.

Hope your Easter is a joyful, kind and loving holiday, happy weekend!

to cultivate resilience

Little over a year ago I wrote a post about cultivating resilience - little did I know then that that in a not too far future I would have to use that cultivated capacity to "to greet change and difficulty as an opportunity for self-reflection, learning and growing". Because believe you me, these almost two months now, have been spent doing that a lot. In both practical and emotional ways. 

This is a really good article on the subject and how you can work on increasing your resiliance. Which is essential for your well-being.

Death appears sooner or later in everyone's life, that is perhaps the one undisputable truth in this world. There is absolutely no way to turn back the clock, act and say things differently, get answers, explanations. And letting oneself being engulfed in sorrow and the what ifs over and over and over again isn't meaningful for anyone. So despite the fact that the sorrow is still striped, but in another striped way than in the beginning, and melancholy is a constant companion, some days more than others, I also chose happiness. Because there is no way but forward and making a productive and active choice is to take control. As much as anyone of us can take control, who knows what will happen tomorrow?

And the financial worries I had in the beginning - still do, but I also choose to not let them overwhelm me, because it will be alright - perhaps they were a blessing in disguise. They have forced me to be active, to take control, find solutions, a week at a time. Instead of perhaps wallowing in sadness every day, all the time had the financial issues not been a fact. I already feel I have grown quite a bit by necessities. 

So how has the second week of May been? Grateful to say also a good one. The weather continued to be glorious. I enjoyed discovering new, fine places for lunch in the work neighbourhood. Met friends after work for long chats. Went to an informal interview. Which happened to be above the cafe were we used to have the perfect Saturday breakfast - also a place where I've had so many productive meetings both social and work related - so I had lunch there by myself, it was both wistful and lovely.

My short gig has been prolonged for two more weeks, I must be doing something right, so I'm grateful for that. Still loath the rush hours commuting, but at least my tasks allow me to work from home a couple of days. Hopefully I will be able to do that some more days the following weeks. I also find I'm even more productive at home, so it's a win-win for everyone.

May May continue to show kindness. And I resilience. Everything will be alright. Better than alright, much better.

the nose buddy

Remember the, to say the least, awkward shape of nose buddies? It took me over three years to get one because of that. Now I finally did since I thought I'd try the thing to see if my annoying rhinorrea will improve - this time 7 months and counting... - before I possibly succumb to see a nasal doctor. I e my doctor Feist.

Used it three times so far and I have to say I find it really really uncomfortable. My nose feels sore and my throat feels painful like I've involuntary gulped a mouthful of water. Sure it passes and the nose/head feels a bit clearer afterwards. But unless I see a significant improvement after using it for a week the Nose Buddy won't be a longterm buddy of mine.

Do you practise the neti?

If so do you find it useful?

And how long did it take 

until you saw the benefits?

pink is the new kettle

And here's the new electric kettle too. Very cheap, too cheap, but a quick and simple solution for now. And it has gotten great reviews. And yes, the colour makes me happy. 

It's difficult to grasp that I once thought an electric kettle was nonsense. I even returned a gift because I really didn't need it. Or so I thought. I mean, who can live without one? Good for energy saving too of course.

Pink is the new kettle. Kettle is the latest happy.

hello red smoothing iron

Apparently I'm in a gadgets-breaks-phase right now. From toaster to iron to yes, the electric kettle too (more of that later). Touch wood and fingers crossed this isn't the start of more serious, expensive things giving up. (I'm looking at you freezer, fridge, stove, heat pump and boiler...)

Funny enough this beauty of an iron is actually my very first new one! Yes, I've always inherit or got hand me down irons from relatives and friends. Which, just like with furniture, is perfectly fine as long as they work. And that they've certainly done since I've never had to splash out any money on them +four decades down the life span.

I didn't buy this one myself though, it was a gift from M. But I would probably have chosen something like it. Love the colour. And finally I have an iron that I can steam hanging clothes with. Although, being a semi-technophopic as usual I find even the simplest of new gadgets a bit scary and somewhat daunting to begin with. The steam spray is very loud and hot!

But it has been properly snoopervised and paw approved. But apparently it isn't good enough to eat. A bit hard and tastless, even for fierce kitty teeth.

Good for smoothing though. And that's really all that matters.

the maypole soap from lush

A beautiful soap in my favourite colour combo pink and green, obviously screamed my name. It smells wonderful in a bubblegum way too. A happy soap named Maypole from Lush.

window display happiness helsinki

There are a lot of window displays in Helsinki that get my juices flowing -

and others that certainly don't given that Finland is the 3rd largest producer of fur in Europe (3,8 millions per year compared to Sweden on 5th place with 1 million and that is really really heartbreakingly bad enough)... -

these wonderful Moomin lamps are certainly on my top five list of those! Pretty fantastic, wouldn't you agree? Especially on a dark winter night. Instant happiness.



Marimekko's collection colours for 2015 are just up my colour alley, a lot of pink, red and orange - which obviously the average dull Swede is afraid of, but I love love love -

And I have been oogling this fake fur coat, also from Marimekko, since I saw it on their website. It's adorable and fluffy, but also quite expensive. I don't think that will be the reserve winter coat for my darling happy coat alas.



And some cute cups seen in the Design Quarters shop's window display, shop was never opened when I went by though. Which probably was a good thing. Window shopping should not be underestimated. Still inspiring but also good for the wallet and the planet.