all the pretty dresses go granny toddler style

All the pretty dresses I was so looking forward to wear again this spring and summer, is mostly a sad reminder that the world isn't what it was merely 4,5 months ago.



My initial goal was to hang the main dresses I'd chosen to wear for the season on my bedroom wardrobe doors as a reminder to use at least one pretty dress per week, despite the stay at home situation. Go grocery shopping, go for a walk, go buy take away, heck, go to the garbage bins, make an effort wear a pretty dress!

I think I've blogged about this dresses on the wardrobe doors-tradition of mine years ago, can't be bothered to look for that post though. And somehow, now more than ever it seems important to loo at pretty things and remember the fun you've had in them and the joyful things that will hopefully, maybe, perhaps happen to them, in them, again.

People seemed to enjoy the idea when I posted it on Instagram last month, which was nice. I think we all need a bit more (superficial) pretty in our lived these days.



I've lived up to my original wear a pretty dress at least once per week-intention for over a month. Then the plantar fasciitis hit and the live put on hold got put even more on hold if possible (and it was).

And then last week, amidst the heat wave my left armpit went a bit itchy (which has never happened after I began using the toxic-free, vegan Nuud deo a year plus ago). When I took a closer look it looked like a pretty bad serious rash even. Which I've never experience during all those years with conventional deos (itches yes, rashes never). I read up on what could have caused it, allergies (which I've never had either), careless shaving, sweating, bad hygiene, excessive moisture was mentioned.

As I've never had any such issues, heatwaves or not, I thought it was the deo that caused it, even if it's pretty weird it would happen over a year down the line. Stopped using the deo, cleaned and dried the area extra carefully. And I thought it looked better after some days. Used the deo again. It got really bad. Am in a conversation with the company, if they have any suggestions what might have caused it. But also went to the pharmacy today and they said it was probably fungal infection due to the hot weather. Oh the joy. So I got a healing powder to begin with, maybe I need to get a cream too, but let's see how this works for the upcoming week.



I'm not at all keen to see a doctor for this, and especially not during these social distancing times, so fingers crossed it will work magic. And I will be really sad if the Nuud deo has anything to do with it, hopefully it is just the heat. The world is weirder than ever now, and who knows, these sort of bodily reactions might quite possibly be a twisted part of climate change. Everything is connected, so who knows.

The not so nice extra news though is that this treatment (without strong medicinal creams I'd imagine) might take 2-6 weeks to heal. Plus then one's supposed to use the powder for two extra weeks. Not using deos during that time. Oh the joy times two.

If times were "normal" I have no idea how it would be possible to function like that around people. Or maybe I'm just too priveleged seeing it that way. But most of us do not enjoy feeling sweaty, stinky and icky, if not caused by exercising or hard work. And having to wash your tops after one day's normal use isn't very fun, when airing should be enough.

So that brings us back to the pretty dresses goal, that's just not on the table anymore right now, if washing after one use is what needs done. So T-shirts it is from here on, until this has healed.



With this situation in combination with the stay-at-home-times my once frequent granny toddler style, seriously toned down over the last years, has returned with a vengeance. I. can. not. be. bothered. If it's a reasonable colour match I mix anything. Which I'd never normally do if I was doing something professional or were around more people. But nothing is normal now. Or it's a very new, unfamiliar normal.

So I give you today's slowfashion (always) outfit form top to bottom -

- Happy hamster on a scooter t-shirt (still one of my favourites, bought in Krakow in 2014)
- Grey cardigan, Filippa K (about 10 years old I think)
- Flowery skirt, Marimekko (haz pockets)
- vegan sneakers, Marimekko (Unikko pattern ftw)
- Re-Kånken, Fjällräven
- shopping tote with calves (!), Marimekko (Helsinki 2012, oh how I miss that city...)
- snoopervisors and shoe loving kitty: Pelle and Sigrid

dogs' best friend

My mum, THE best human ever according to the neighborhood's dogs. Because she ALWAYS has dog treats in her pockets. And they have learnt to see and smell her from far far away. Sometimes to their humans irritation, but mostly they think it's quite enjoyable and fun. Albeit somewhat embarrassing, because when the dogs have spotted her they no longer listen to command. And whatever they're occupied with seize to be of interest.

Her daughter however, is super boring, she never have dog treats in her pockets. Bah.

Some dog owners, for various reasons, don't want their dogs to get treats. And my mum isn't very good at picking up those vibes. So now and then there are pretty awkward moments. But I suppose hat in the big scheme of things, like life, that's merely a glitch.



The other day we went for a walk, and were lucky enough to run into this adorable gang. And they were ALL up for treats. Some more shamelessly than others.

Oh how I love a good meet cute. And more so these days, when life is generally rough, frayed and listless. Those little shiny happy moments, at least for a while the bad stuff is tucked away.

ice ice tea

Let's keep the July 1st post light and refreshing. (And aren't you terribly excited that there will be one post every. single. day. all through July...? I kind of am. It's a plan, something to focus on, but with a light heart. Perhaps I'll even get to tick some old backlogs, like the Schwarzwald trip, nearly four years later...) Let's talk ice tea, cold brew ice tea.

During the recent heatwave I decided to get serious about ice tea. And as I find it totally weird and wasteful to boil water (in a country with delicious, healthy tap water available) to cool down, I decided to try the cold brew method.

It's brilliant. Fill a 2 L jug with tap water, add 2-3 teaspoons of your favourite tea, put in fridge for 6-8 hours. Great if you have a jug with a built strainer, when you pour the tea into a glass with ice cubes (and maybe favourite fruit of choice) the next day. But I realised the loose tea managed to find its way out and into the tea anyway, thus I always ended up using an extra tea strainer when I poured it.



When you try a proper homemade ice tea you realise THIS is how it should taste, light and refreshing and nothing like those sugary nasty bottles you get at supermarkets and cheap cafes. If you'd like a hint of sweetness I guess a dollop of healthy agave syrup would work though.

The top glass is filled with orange-cactus rooibos from tea shop Tehuset Java. One of my favourite tea shops, and when things are as they are currently, I co-order with one of the neighborhood dog ladies, for free shipping. Time to get a new delightful order placed, because the amount of tea drunk these past months...

The pretty jug is from Löv tea, I first spotted it in the fab flagship store in Berlin in 2015, decided not to get one. Regretted that deeply. Shipping from France was very expensive, but then they had a special deal a couple of years ago and I got one. It's Lövely. However it also makes me wistful, and reminds me of how much I miss Berlin.

As does the second Berliner Weisse coupe glass. I actually have a few bottles left from 2015, but I want to save them for a time/times when there is truly something to celebrate. So I use it for other fine drinks. And soak my brain in melancholy memories instead.

The glass contains mango passion-fruit rooibos, also from Tehuset Java. One of my favourites. Excellent ice tea flavour.



Cold brewing tea also means you get fuller flavour and no tannin acid, so it works great on green teas too. I was sceptical but it worked. This glass is a joy of organic green rooibos Mirabelle from Kaffetheket in Västerås.

What's your favourite ice tea?

PS Remember to drink plenty of water when you drink lots of tea, not doing that and you'll be prone to constipation. I know too well, after my tea calendar bonanza in 2018, when I wasn't aware of that fact.

bye june, hey july 2020

I'm thinking about challenging myself to actually write a little blog post every single day in July. Because there isn't much else one can do these days, other than walk, cook, eat, drink tea, read, cuddle cats, watch movies, meditate. Life continues to be very restricted for most of us, who don't own or have access to a car. I think most of us feel life is on hold, the waiting game prolonged.

I've struggled with setting the tone of this post, will I keep it light and positive, or will I simply tell it like it is. Life is made up of both, even in these troubled times for all of us. And I haven't exactly shyed away from the difficult stuff before...

So, even if I'm grateful to be an intro/ambivert, and ever so grateful I'm not of an addictive nature, this is *starting* to take its toll on me too. Even if I enjoy my own company, and solitude, I also feel lonely. People with loving partners and good families probably don't get it. Nor do people with friends they have deep and meaningful relationships with. To be quite honest, I don't think I have anyone like that in my life anymore. There, now that's said and out there.

During these months, no one has gotten in touch to hear how I'm doing. And vice versa, after the first few weeks I have felt zero inclination to reach out myself. The energy levels are limited. People are working, from home or wherever they feel comfortable and safe to be, they're only interested in social distancing contacts with people close by. If anyone with a car was interested to meet up in my neighborhood, for a take away lunch and a walk and talk, I'd be happy too. But few people seem to have cars and the ones I've asked have said "sure, but maybe later", and that later never happened...

I'm not the least bit interested in having more Zoom- or Skype talks than those which are work or pro bono-necessary. They're just stressful and unproductive, they never fill me with joy or inspiration. The only contacts I have with people these days (apart from darling little mom, grocery store clerks, the neighborhood's dog ladies and such) are via short comments on social media. Which on the one hand feels quite insufficient, on the other hand quite enough for my current energy levels.

The times we're living in are traumatizing for most us, so maybe this is the new normal (at least for us not prone to alcoholism or violence...) and perhaps that also means we only have just enough energy to focus on the immediate close circle.

I know I feel that way, but at the same time I feel lonely. On the other I don't have the energy to spend on a lot of interactions. And if I start reaching out to more people, perhaps I'll feel it's a bit overwhelming in the end? It's enough to cope with my own thoughts and personal issues. Weltschmerz as well as personal worries. And even if meditating does help, it's only as much as that can do to keep the demons away. One day at a time, one day at a time. Reading, cat cuddling, cooking, walking, repeat. Who said it was without complications?

I found June to be a particular bad month, on a personal level. (Because we all know what a shi**y month it was for the world, so no need to dig into that. And this is after all, my little world within the world, so...). It began with a plantar fasciitis from hell in my left heel (not had one since 2009, but this past year I have been wearing more sneakers than usual and I find that sneakers generally give much less support to my feet than regular shoes. Sure they are seemingly comfortable and kind, but overdo the walking in them, there will be a hefty price to pay...

So I had to spend a couple of weeks resting, stretching and hobbling out to the garbage bin regularly  (in different shoes, just to see which ones would work best for a painful heel). Finally last week I did my hobble in the vegan wedges I got in March, and they felt very promising. The next day I did a longer walk to the grocery store, and it was painfree. Huzzah!

Taking it slowly, but so far two walks this week and I'm hopeful to be back on my usual walking track within a foreseeable future.

The job processes I was recently positive about, didn't lead to anything. And others haven't either. It's absolutely crazy that it is this hard to find my kind of people, my kind of company. I'm weird and wonderful, but apparently too many companies and organisations find me weird and incomprehensible. No matter how qualified I am, no matter how much potential and visions I have. That in itself is deeply disturbing, and depressing. Maybe I should just give up finding a job in Sweden, and find one abroad that accepts and encourage remote working?

But all in all, I'm really at lost on what to do now, where to look, where to find, at last. When you find yourself, after much work and effort, in this position, you kind of have to truly trust that universe has your back...

Last week's depressing heatwave didn't exactly help the mood either. I'm grateful for cooler weather and two days of several rain showers now though. But nature is in desperate need much much more water, more rain.

Before the heatwave I immensely enjoyed my little, shabby, green haven of a garden. Lilacs, honeysuckle, rhododendron... Roses, mock orange and now clematis. I wish they could blossom for a longer time though. It's fleeting time of immense beauty and calls for intense appreciation of nature's little wonders.

One of the cats passed away last Friday. He suddenly got poorly and rapidly lost weight after Midsummer. Over the years I've gotten (too) well versed with cats and cancer, and its often very quick process. I used to dash off to the vet, and followed by painful procedures with always poor outcomes. After those times I decided to never again submit 10+ years old cats to that stress but keep them comfortable at home and if possible let them pass away in the comfort of their well-known surroundings and alongside friends.

He drank water, didn't ate very much, enjoyed cuddles, slept a lot and kept to himself. On a very warm and humid Friday evening he fell into the final sleep on the veranda. As the vet was closed by then I had to wrap him up and keep him in the freezer over the weekend. That's how you have to problem solve things, even the very sad things. On Monday morning I put him in a box, walked to the vet, and paid a hefty price for the cremation. And that was the end of Waldemar Warwick.

He was a fun, weird kitten and young cat, but as a grown up, older cat he wasn't one of the cats with big personalities, but a more subdued fella. But still, he was part of the cat puzzle in this residence. He had never been sick once, always a healthy sight in shiny, black fur so this came very unexpected. He would have turned 13 in a couple of months.

With a cat gang now between 8 and 16 years old, most of them never having been sick a day in their lives, I guess you can never tell which one will be next. It feels a bit like being in the Agatha Christie novel "And Then There Were None".

I can't imagine my life without cats, but with the immense joy, gratitude and furry love comes sorrow. There have been countless of tears shed over cats lost, over the years. And well, this experience didn't exactly add anything positive and joyful to my current mood. But there you are, life.

I had high hopes for June, those were really put to shame. I'm not even sure what lessons I've learnt from it. Life is rough, but there are always people who are worse off, be grateful for the good things you have, have had and will have?

Now half of the year is gone. And EVERYTHING is topsy turvy, can you please, gorgeous July, turn into something positive, uplifting, beautifully solution based and inspiring? I need it. And I'm not alone.

See you tomorrow. One little post at a time.

first guest at hedgehog drop-inn 2020

Another post second day in a row. Not something you should get used to though. But when I realised I had done a blatant mistake and not mentioning the news of the first distinguished guest at Hedgehog Drop-Inn 2020 in yesterday's post I though s/he deserved a post of her/his very own. And what better way to start a new month, than sharing an adorable, mood-lifting sighting?

If I've done my calculations correctly this is the 18th year of summer hedgehogs visits and stays, but I first wrote about them in 2007. I am so honoured they've find sanctuary here ever since. Even if there are probably new guests every summer, they might be a family that tell stories through generations  about the magical garden with plenty of food, water, sleeping places and curious fluffsters.



As they usually turn up in late July/early August, I couldn't believe it was actually a persistent wee hedgehog that was trying to get in through the garden gate, when I heard the noise on May 24. but there s/he was, strutting down the garden path. I know they're little clever pricklies and can get through and in via very small openings, but I'm surprised at their ingenuity every year.

As I've done my best (or succumbed completely to my inner garden gnome of laziness plus the garden elder weed that invaded some years ago... for a good reason though!) to let the garden be as it is, to offer a haven for biodiversity, they might hibernate and live somewhere inside here too.



From feasting on luxurious kitty food (the only I had at home at the time, I usually buy cheaper bags when hedgehog season begins) it was time for a stroll and a cat nap. Because this is just how much the cats looovez when the hedgehogs appear for the season. And sights like this makes my heart explode of cuteness overload.

Just what one needs to see and be in in these worrying times, wouldn't you agree?

PS After letting the garden grow wild like this for some years now it has become just what I wanted, much more popular amongst bees, bumblebees, butterflies and other insects. My little humble contribution to biodiversity. My very own green green mess of home. DS

goodbye may, hello june 2020

I lied. I'm sorry. It did take another month for a post to appear here again. I'm too tired, jaded, worried, sad, angry, heartbroken (take your pick for the day) to feel inspired, energized and happy enough to blog these days. It's really difficult to look forward to things, imagine a prosperous future. The feeling of Weltschmerz on your shoulders is particularly heavy in these times.

Not happy enough to do anything substantial or newsworthy really. Funnily enough I read a lot, which usually is something I struggle with (loosing my mojo for) when I'm in a low place. But there you are. And go for walks and cook. The nature is gorgeous this time of the year and the weather has been on the chilly side of early summer (which I'm grateful for, we need lots of rain). But still, the world is very limited and small right now.

Oh, and I do a lot of guided meditation, a few times each day, between 15-45 minutes at a time. Have however not found the peace and serenity in it I had hoped and waited for. Somehow I think the times we are living in are too overwhelming for that to happen. It will take time, a long time. But one thing that has improved, my mind doesn't wander as much as before. That's at least something.



I finished both courses I took this spring, the Science of Well-Being at Yale and the shorter one in Swedish on Climate, Environment and Consumption. The first one was great and very inspiring - but as I said, the rough and extraordinary times we are living in makes it a real struggle to apply all that new knowledge in real life... - the second one was alright. No new information for me, but a lot of useful things to brush up on regarding sustainability and choices.

My best tips for being a better earthling and champion for sustainability and peace are still -

• Go Vegan! And do it NOW.
• Buy organic and avoid palmoil.
• Consume less, consume better.
• Fly less, much much much less.
• Stop your routine-like driving everywhere. (Yes, I know, public transport just isn't an healthy option currently, but things will not stay like this forever. Walk, bike and take the bus/train. Do the healthy, sustainable thing.)

I'm involved in a couple job processes. But to be honest I don't have a good gut feeling about neither of them. When a process is stretched out and you don't get updates, it just doesn't feel ... right anymore. You question the company, you question yourself, and is it really such a great match... Oh how illusive is that dream job of mine...

Vegoforum was obviously cancelled in March due to corona, but last week it was turned into two digital seminars with focus on sustainable, healthy, vegan school meals. Great speakers, great insights, and very inspiring. I wish we could all go out and make a quick and radical difference right here and now with all that inspiration.

I'm also doing volunteer work as a board member in the non-profit association SMMI (Svensk Mat- och Miljöinformation, Swedish Food- and Environmental information) now, Vegoforum is one of their projects. The mission is to promote, teach and inspire about a sustainable food chain and the environment, tied to the Agenda 2030 and its sustainable development goals. It's lovely to *see* the knowledge and dedication of the people involved in the movement. But as much as I love that, this too is a struggle as we're confined to Zoom-meetings (so not a fan. Who knew that a simple telephone call/conference would feel like a relief one day... for an Odd Phoney) so far. 

After M's passing in 2016, I never eat take away. I cook everything myself, unless I'm eating out obviously. But the fact that a Thai foodtruck that can veganize about 20 dishes on the menu, has opened up nearby has been such a lovely change during corona-times. Have had a few take aways with my mum so far, the food is great (and especially the tofu is perfect) and it's kind of a weekly-ish highlight. I hope they get enough business in the neighbourhood to stay put. We'll kickstart June with a Thai lunch too, happiness boosters are few and far away. Even for us who has so so much to be grateful about during these troubled times.

Last week Marimekko had a digital runway with participants all over the world showing their summer outfits inspired by Marimekko, on Instagram, instead of the annual Helsinki fashion show. It was really sweet. And one of those little treasured happiness boosting things to watch people of different sizes, colours, gender and ages loving their outfits and strutting their stuff. This was my wee contribution, love the Unikko filter for Instagram. And yes, I did a vegan Maria Nila colour refresh a couple of week's ago again - mixed pink pop and cherry red.

As there are currently no reasons to dress in all my pretty dresses or favourite clothes in general, I try to at least take one out for fresh air once per week. Which basically means, let's make a dress effort for walks to the grocery stores or the Thai foodtruck.

As much as I was and is proud of the Swedish covid-19 strategy I'm now very less than proud of the blatant negligent and careless attitude of far too many Swedes when the sun came out. I know that I wrote about that last month too, but seriously, people are indeed idiots. And watching the news, it's most certainly not a Swedish thing only. Idiots everywhere.

And I can't say I'm any happier about the open up-strategies in other countries either. Much too soon, too casual I'd say. Opening up to the second wave. And thus putting further strains on all the incredibly hard working hospital staff (will they ever have time to heal, rest, recuperate and get a decent pay I wonder...). But there you are. Life and people are currently particularly hard to grasp and relate to, on so many levels.

Goodbye, May, you have been pretty, you have been a struggle. Thank you for the insights and lessons, but I'm sad to say it wasn't very good to meet you this year.

Hello, June, I really hope, wish and keep my fingers crossed for more joy, kindness and progress. Can you, please, pretty pretty down on my knees please, make some dreams come true? And if there's anything more I can do to make that happen, please do show and tell!

the waiting game

”Step outside, take a breath, listen to the calm and gentle sounds of nature. It is the sound of recovery.”

I know, it's been a long month since I last blogged. It's probably been a month of many ups and downs for us all. A bewildering month of many adjustments, a lost month but also full of insights and learnings.

Myself I also managed to catch a nasty cold - I'm pretty sure it wasn't Covid-19, as it was acting like my colds act, only it was prolonged into 2,5 weeks before I felt really well again. So during those weeks I only ventured out a few times to the garbage bin at dusk, to avoid people.

I haven't been in to inner city Stockholm since March 16, thus obviously haven't travelled by bus or train since then. Just walked around the neighbourhood and to the grocery store (it's great to get there at 7 am when they open up, perfect for social distancing). It feels surreal, life's taken a time out somehow.

I'm still proud to be a swede and our strategy of course, but I'm appalled at the selfish flippancy too many people seem to show as of lately, filling up restaurants, restaurateurs not taking responsibility despite clear restrictions, not taking the social distancing seriously as if spring and warmer weather is some magical overnight cure. The stupidity and ignorance, mindboggling.



Before corona struck I bought two vegan shoes from El Naturalista. I've been eyeing them for a year, but resisting since I (obviously) don't desperately need new shoes. But now there was a decent sale on, and I would (also obviously) love to have a few more non-leather shoes. I'm also thinking I'll finally sell some of my El Naturalista leather sandals, that I have only used a couple of times (not really my style or fit, but once I thought they were a must...), so less in more out.



Unexpected feline bonus of the purchase, Ågot absolutely adored the mesh bags that came with the shoes. You might think they were drenched in catnip.

Before corona I also had my discerning eye on a gorgeous skirt and dress from Marimekko. But I have to say that, nowhere to go, noone to see, working from home and only going for walks and picking up groceries has been a most effective way of curing shopping urges. And given the gazillion emails about sales, new collections at reduced prices I get every single day, I'm not the only one. I also think that with incomes and future job situations being really worrisome for many of us now, shopping for things that aren't a must seems pretty crazy. I mean, I already struggle to use my existing beautiful wardrobe right now.



Talking about shopping and consumerism, one of the two online classes I've been taking this past month is about Consumption, environment and climate. I can't say it's been an eyeopener as such, since I've spent so many years already reading and learning about the topic of sustainability. Obviously. And the obligatory test I took about my ecological footprint clearly shows that if people lived like me, the planet would be healthy, thriving place for us all. Yes, the combination of vegan living, chosing organic, slow fashion, not owning a car or flying a lot, choosing energy from renewable sources and more, can truly make a huge difference. It both infuriates and saddens me that people still don't get that. When politicians and big businesses fail us, we could make such a big difference ourselves just with our daily choices.



My other class is a Yale-course on the Science of Well-being. It's great! I'm also proud of the insight it has given me, that my main signature strength is Perspective, followed by Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence, Humour, Creativity and Love of Learning. I do love my perspective strength, but I have to say that given how the world looks and people still behave, it has also always been a struggle with this blessing. I so wish people would finally learn how to connect the dots, our current situation is such an obvious, heartbreaking lesson from Mother Nature we MUST. I will now embrace and acknowledge my strength more, use it even more for a greater good.

I'm now on the shivering last weeks of the course and rewiring my brain, which in my case is meditating regularly every day. And you know how long I've been struggling to make that a routine, in vain. I still struggle with focusing. But now I have better tools and insights to make it happen. And the quote from the course "A mind-wandering mind is an unhappy mind" has certainly striked a cord.

I've also applied for a university course at Stockholm Uni - Resilience Center on Sustainability Science. They've changed it into a digital class, still in Swedish, but available from anywhere in the world this time. I hope I'll be accepted, it's pretty much exactly what I've been looking for in vain until now. It'll start in late August, part-time for 6 months. I'll know if I got in in June. Fingers crossed.



As an intro/ambivert I don't miss interacting with people that much - I still go for social distancing walks with my mum and the neighbourhood's dog ladies - but I do miss the freedom of just taking the bus-train to the city, museums, walks, seminars, meetings, fika, lunches, you know, all those simple things we take for granted. Most of all though, I missed not being able to experience the blissful cherry blossom trees in Kungsträdgården this year. Last year seems like another world... Which, crazy enough, it truly is.

But I'm also grateful for the fact that the sadness over that has been alleviated by the fact that there are actually more cherry blossoms trees in my neighbourhood than I realised. They're obviously not as impressive as rows of 20+ years old trees, but the sight of them still light up my heart and mind.



I didn't get the job I went to an interview for in March. I was over-qualified, I was told that before the interview, but there were other benefits and great things about the job in question so I didn't mind at all. But it wasn't meant to be.

I've applied to two fantastic sounding jobs lately, they both get me salivating really (that is an extremely rare thing), last day of application hasn't been yet. So I'm holding my fingers crossed more firmly than ever before. Please join me in that firmly-fingers-crossing activity.



I promise there won't be a month's hiatus until the next post. I want to write about books, the fact that lipstick has become one of my small things in order to keep up some sort of normalcy, about all the lovely vegan food I've eaten, cooked and baked (yes even that, I haven't baked since 2017!) recently, about the thai food truck that has put up doors within walking distance and that they can veganize pretty everything on the menu, tea, feline shenanigans, great TV-series, movies and much more. So for a month lost to us all, April 2020, things still happen, life is slow but still very much there around us, within us. Savouring the little things is more important and obvious than ever before.

Goodbye April, I won't miss you, but you've been a master teacher of what's important and of what must change.

Welcome gorgeous, green May, I hope you will be a kinder teacher and great enabler.



"...you've been wandering in between, the things you have and your longings and your dreams..."

proud to be a swede

This needs to be said. I find it fascinating that so many people have so much time to spend having issues with how Sweden act in the corona crisis when absolutely noone has the right answers. This is new territory for us all. Keep calm and do your best kind thing. Listen to science and act responsibly. Time will tell.

Why not spend much more time condemning the horrific nasty wet markets reopening in China instead? Seriously. Not to mention scrutinizing your own choices when it comes to your plate. Why continue using, abusing, eating other sentient beings and continue being an obvious part of the problem instead of going #vegan and be part of the solution? Consuming animals is why we got here in the first place. Period. It's never the animals fault though, it's always human behaviour causing things like this. Karma is a bitch. Rightly so.

And as far as I can see so far, the virus-development in Sweden is definitely not worse (rather the opposite from recent numbers) than any other country with stricter measures. Things will of course get worse than this, before the peak is reached. We are all aware of that, but this how we carefully navigate unknown waters now, responsibly and fact based. 

I would be generally happier if all borders and flights were closed for the time being, and obviously that Swedes from the more affected areas (namely Stockholm city) didn’t travel to the countryside and their summer cottages so we can flatten the curve. (The sense of entitlement by some selfish pricks are always mindboggling... Though  that’s a universal thing, not a Swedish one. This piece of Party Zero in Westport, Conneticut had me fuming for example...) 

But other than that, as far as I can see, it seems like the majority of Swedes actually do have that much talked about common sense aka folkvett. As a great column (in Swedish only) talked about today, I’m proud to be Swede today just because of the way we’re handling the corona crisis: ”I’m proud to be Swedish right now. And not Danish for example. Or French. We’re allowed to think for ourselves.”

And let me tell you, being Swedish born and bred it’s a very rare thing for me to be proud of Sweden these days - and you long term readers know how critical and disappointed I am, and have been for many many years, about the misuse of resources, competence, taxpayers money, gutless politicians and now greenwashing of costly environmental initiatives in Sweden, to mention a few things. Still, grateful in so many ways for having been born and bred here yes, but proud not so much at all. But when it comes to this current crisis, strangely enough I generally am. 

On a very heartwarming note, the fact that it didn't take many days of lockdown until wild animals were slowly fearlessly taking over cities, that's just amazing in so many ways. If you haven't heard of the posse of goats roaming the streets in Welsh Llandudno yet, you have now!

PS If you've never seen purple potatoes, you have now. DS

everything is connected and figureoutable

We're living in strange times. And it's difficult to know where to start. What can one write that doesn't seem trivial or selfish. What I do know though, is that this certainly is the epitome of "It was the worst of times, it was the best of time".

Can you imagine, when we have gotten through all this - with a lot of heartache, sorrow and stupid mistakes along the way, I'm sure. But how hard it is to grasp amidst darkness, the hardest lessons brings the greatest growth. Always have, always will - how many positive changes we can bring to this world, to our obsolete systems??

The Covid-19 situation clearly stems from the majority of the world being completely disconnected to the natural world and other sentient beings. Nature (thank you, Karma) has probably never been so crystal clear with a vengeance in how unsustainable and disgustingly void of compassion our lifestyles are.

Stop eating, using and abusing animals. Enough now.

Our economic system is broken. And has been so for too long. When we've gotten through this we need to switch to a Universal Basic Income. That would improve so much in our lives and in this world.

Everything is connected. This is a violent wake up call from Mother Nature. Will people listen and connect the dots, finally?



I did have a lot of this and that updates for this post, but then corona happened. And I don't know what to think about people, about the situation, about the world anymore. If things seemed incomprehensible in many ways before, they're even more muddled now. Or, these times clearly show the true nature of both people and companies. Those who are stupid, selfish, ignorant and plain evil. Vs those who are thinking, progressive, kind and open to change that needs to happen.

I think I'll save the this-and-that-post to another time. For a lighter post. It's after all been pretty much four weeks since the last one, who knew that March 2020 would turn out to be such an epically world-turning month. I said that kindness is infectious, clearly less welcome (but perhaps desperately needed from nature's point of view) things are too.

Today it's also 4 (!) years since M passed away. I'm wiser, I'm stronger, I'm better. But also, another year of feeling that so much has happened yet so little. I'm still feeling so far away from where I want to be in life, from my true purpose. I feel I'm meeting enough people - but is it the right people? And if not, where on earth do I find the right people, my kind of people?

I feel I have a clear message of where I want to be, need to be, to contribute in the best way. But apparently I still haven't been able to connect with the right crowd, at the right time, as far as I know. It is a waiting game of, for me, epic proportions. And it is exhausting.

These days, in the here and now though, I'm ever so grateful for being an introvert (ambivert). And the cats. Always the cats. And then the rest, everything, is figureoutable.

My current music crush is a sad one. But oh so beautiful. Like life. And it fits my mood.



Hope you're in a good, safe place in life.
Everything will be fine in the end, because it has to.
It really does. Kindness and compassion are the powers that will heal us all.

thank you february, welcome march 2020

So happy to hear Agnes amazing voice again. One of the two truly brilliant voices that have won Swedish Idol winners since it started in 2004. And this song lift my spirits.

Onwards and upwards, on the very first day of spring (according to the calendar, with climate change it's difficult to know when and where things happen weatherwise anymore alas) a little recap of my February.

• Visited the Spring art salon at Liljevalchs. Like last year it was quite disappointing, compared to the brilliance of 2018. Low quality a la kindergarten art reflected poorly on the few pieces that were truly wonderful and talented. Haven't uploaded all the pictures yet - but for the painting of the black cat Sigge who happens to be the spitting image of my Waldemar. Loved it! - so may edit later or make a photos only post of it later. But you know, I've become bad at keeping my blog word these past years (still no posts of the Freiburg trip. Ages since I posted about the vegan food box adventures, despite promises promises), so who knows...
• Continued to put in volunteer time for Vegoforum, but as it is a practically no budget project it is hart near impossible make an impression om social media and with marketing. It was actually easier to make things happen on shoe string-budgets BEFORE social media. Or well, at least before everything had a price and the algoritms were set in the dispiriting way they are now.
• I've been able to get a few sponsors, which I'm ever so grateful for, but despite looking for decent vegan food sponsors I've come up empty so far. And it's less than a month left. I'm truly surprised and disappointed, since I thought it was a collaborative and supportive community. But there you are.
• On the brighter side I spent some hours at the vegan fair Linköping Vego yesterday, with the Vegoforum-guys. It was such a good day, the train rides, lots of visitors, lots of meeting old and new friends and acquaintances, sampling great vegan food, being inspired and impressed by all the good stuff, and the engaged, good people. Bought some great food items, didn't have time to eat properly during the day, mean to get some at the station before boarding the train instead. But then I was so short of time that I had to jog trot to the train, with heavy heavy bags of food with no time to spare. I felt pretty shitty during those two hours on the train, without food and drink. So when I landed at the central station I had to rush to the cafe, get a wrap and coffee and just stuff myself with that before I had some energy to get myself on the commuter train. In hindsight it was all worth it though, even if my food plans - I always have food plans, since I easily get quite angry when I'm hungry, so plans are good. It doesn't have to be a lot of food, but it needs to be regular - didn't go accordingly.
• I've been to a Rotary-meeting - finally went. after a LinkedIn-contact had suggested it for years - no vegan food at the lunch restaurant where the meeting was held, so I had to have lunch somewhere else afterwards, the average age of the attendees was, as expected, very high. But the talk by Slöseriombudsmannen (The Wasting ombudsman) was very good. Waste as in municipalities, politicians and authorities wasting and incredible amount of tax money every year. We all know it's happening, we are just not very aware of just a devastating problem it is, and noone is accountable for it. Obviously.
  
  

• Have immensely enjoyed various versions of plantbased semla (or semlor in plural) during the past month. This is a new style, and award winning at that - semmelmunk aka semla donut. It was lovely. I even filmed myself eating it. But as I don't know how to embed it in a blog post, unless I upload it to YouTube, and that will never ever happen, there won't be any sharing of that. But this is my happy face after a mouth full. Bought at Söderbergs bageri, vegan donuts two days of the week, great bread and some other lovely vegan pastries too.
  
  

• Have had three extra special, inspiring, empowering lunch and fika meetings with three great women/LinkedIn contacts - one I simply met on a bus last summer, when we just started talking about global warming and climate change (as one does. Even us introverts start talking to strangers on public transports. It is that serious.) Exchanged business cards and now finally had lunch. The other one I met at one of last years recruitment processes. And the third one I've worked with, but never met irl until now.
• The finding my dream job, true purpose, my kind of people process continue to baffle, annoy and honestly infuriate. But after spending so much time figuring out what I want, where I could best serve, find meaning and happiness, I will not settle for less. Anymore. Been there done that, not again. 2020 is the year of Goodlife.
• I have an interview booked for Wednesday. Sounds like a great job, great company. Fingers crossed we'll click. I am however pretty jaded by now, so cautiously optimistic is my middle name.
• Went to a seminar on 'Circular business models for entrepreneurs' with speakers/researchers  from RISE institute. Very interesting. And inspiring. The challenges are daunting. The possibilities endless. 
• Had a pedicure. Much needed. Blissful.
• Bought a sweater in hemp and organic cotton. Or bought isn't the right word since I didn't pay a thing, but exchanged it for the voucher checks I got at the two second hand sales at Bric-a-brac last year. Most expensive sweater I've ever "bought", and I would never pay that much in cash for it. But now it felt like the right thing to treat myself to. 5-7 pre-loved garments out, a percentage of the sales to charity and one garment in. Slow shopping at its finest.
• Went to a seance again. It was a good one. Got a message, it was simple, but so very very  accurate for the place I am in life currently. Comforting, empowering and uplifting in all its simplicity. Sometimes that's everything, when you start to question yourself and your choices, your path. Happens to all of us, at one stage or another in life. 
• Currently reading Marie Forleo's 'Everything is figureoutable' (which, as you know, has been my mantra for, especially these past four years). It's a good read, not a quick one or offering a quick fix, but it makes a lot of sense. As one of those lovely synchronicity things I'm actually going to the release party for the book translated into Swedish in a couple of weeks. So I'm trying to finish the book before that.
  
  

So, how did February treat you? Kindly I hope.

Let's hope for an even better March, more positive, kind and healthy news for us all. Remember that kindness is infectious, and spreading a little joy on a daily basis is a good good thing. For all. Going vegan is of course the best way to spread both kindness, healthy vibes and positivity, so while nature is going green for spring, why not go green yourself? You can do it!