Sometimes I feel it would be pleasing if I could find a completely anonymous voice, an anonymous kind of blog *if such a thing is even possible*. A place where I could sort of divulge secrets in public - and not those really deep dark ones like I most secretly like to wear black, I eat meat on Sundays and I enjoy crushing baby mosquitos just for fun. Not to mention the fact that I'm an avid golfer, the only thing I ever watch on TV is sport and I only take a bath once a year, around my birthday -
and really, I don't think I have any veritable horrifically secrets like that. I swear they're not mine, I got them from a friend.
When I write secrets I don't mean anything like Post Secret's secrets - which by the way is a truly amazing, intriguing blog, now also with a very lovely little piece of movie -
Secrets with an anonymous sender is so much more thoughtprovoking, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes really upsetting, but nonetheless fascinating compared to secrets with an identifiable sender. Usually. Perhaps the latter soil the whole secretively fascinating part of it? Makes it so more tangible, perhaps a cry for help that demands a whole lot more from you than thoughts...
And the more I write the more I see this really opens up for a whole lot of different musings, interpretations and implications... So I stop here. And get back to what I intended to write - the serendipitous pleasure of being able to write under an alias. And even if I have no deep dark secrets like the above mentioned, it would sort of mean I could let the words run completely free, ideas, feelings alike, whilst I now try to keep them in a leash. Mostly.
Being an average oppressed human being, scared of showing too much of one-true-self. Emotions are a tricky thing, whatever they might concern, they should be kept in the box, easy to handle, manageable. I've always been thoroughly good in showing just enough of what I want to be seen. It has come handy many a times - and here's a secret, it is at times more than deliciously enjoyable... -
other times I so wish I could stop being so darn polite and particular about any reputation I might have obtained. To the very hot, steamy, fiery place down below with it, here's what I feel deep inside! But since a full disclosure most probably would be too much to handle for most well behaved partners and players I keep it safely tucked in that perfect little box. Pandora's box.
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