Monday, October 22, 2007

A Slight Case of Windmills

The thing I wrote about the foolishness of regrets, well that goes for things said, done, as well as written. Not much use in regretting things you wrote when you were ten, or even 16 - though I very much wonder why I made that serial killer of young women sedate them with the nail polish remover acetone rather than ether, in an essay in highschool. The teacher obviously didn't think it was strange at all, top marks, but still... Well, at least that choice of word way back then, still is a private family joke, that *always* comes up when I, my usual self, quibble about others choice of words... - but things you've written not really far back, that's a whole different matter...

I can very deeply regret the way I wrote things a couple of years back, well only a few months back really. Some things written really shouldn't be flaunted in public. And what on earth was I thinking, probably being rather proud of the stuff then... Now and then I do find a glimmer of something really great, and old, I'd forgotten that I'd wrote, it doesn't even sound like me and my words, but nonetheless I like it. A lot.

Other things I'm just blushing of embarrassment over. The worst thing is when it's really published in a more full-of-myself-grand-way, like a travel-article I'm thinking of that's really, really not a good one. Talk about overusing stupid words and too much silly details. And of course I'm not telling you where to find this article, since it's oh so much better fallen into oblivion.

Oh I know, I know, completely useless to even thinking about these things. That was me then, this is me now. Can't be proud of every achievement we make I suppose - though I'd like to be. But on the other hand who wants to be an übermensch...? Um, but it's strange to think that it was me only some months ago, have I changed so much in such a short time...? Peculiar how the mind works, and how it forces the fingers to the keypad with utterly weird choices of words and sentences, anyway... Curious things, the windmills of your mind...

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2 comments:

stromsjo said...

To the extent that we can learn from experience and become more mature, wiser if you like, I think it's healthy to regret stuff once in a while. If I manage to walk through life without regretting anything, I probably haven't learnt much either. The mind does move in mysterious ways.

Pia K said...

That's true, I kind of like to read the things I wrote which isn't half bad written but with a topic that I've really changed my views on, evolved if you like, then I feel very wise and content:)

From here on I'll try and think of the regrettable things as milestones on the path of enlightenment. Or something.

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