Which probably is even worse. The feeling of being too tame and well behaved in some circumstances really isn't a pleasant one - the rebellious little me inside doesn't approve. This is not the way to change the world. On the other hand I've always believed in the power of the word, the spoken as well as the written, in diplomacy and never ever the power of the gun or the fist.
Even if there are times I suppose we all have to do our very best not to get bodily violent... Since there are so many, too many, ignorant, stupid, plain vicious people that words can never change. Depraved people without compassion whom the world would be such a better place without having to nurture.
Back to regrets and possible guilt of a more personal nature. Most of us do stupid things now and then, hopefully less so with age and gained (?) wisdom, but still being a fool from time to time is a part of being human. The silly, insignificant-in-the-long-run we do, often make good laughs later on - the more stupid things which can lead into radical, worldturning changes for ourselves and people around us is another matter. I gather most of us have a fair amount of self-preservation not to put ourselves, and others, into those situations...
I suppose I don't regret any major things I've done, or choices I've made over the years, though I can still ponder over what ifs and how comes and whys. Sometimes feel a slight sting of guilt, for something I did - or didn't do... - quite a long time ago. And the silly thing is, that the person/s in question that I really could have behaved a bit better towards, or stand up for, most probably don't remember that me, that time, that thing... Just me being a coquette, having a tiny, foolish guilt trip.
I wonder what it is that make some of those less-than-better-behaved-times stand out and be remembered, why others completely fall into oblivion? Especially when one think, and hope, that the majority of deeds, spoken, written, done, so far, during a lifetime, are those of good and compassionate qualities. Why dwell upon regrets, instead of the amazing achievements most of us probably accomplish? Foolish wonders...
2 comments:
I read a story a long time ago about the difference between regret and guilt.
When he was a young boy, a man destroyed his grandfather's beloved flower garden. When he stepped back and surveyed what he had done, he felt guilt.
When he saw the disappointment on his grandfather's face, he felt regret.
I find I never rethink the choices I made that I had time to contemplate over, but the bad choices I have made in the heat of the moment haunt me forever. It has always seemed that the decisions I make in the clutch are the true mirror of my inner self.
Thankfully, one can also reflect on the good choices and deeds one has done and be satisfied that the balance comes out in one's favor.
So true. When I have too much time on my hands I tend to rethink even the choices I've made after careful consideration - even though I know it's a waste of time and energy. But I'm getting better at not doing that every day at least.
PS Banan pie recipe should be on its way to a mailbox near you by now:)
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