friends for different occasions

Today I met a friend for the first time face to face and together we spent one of the loveliest days I've had in a long time. Some 10+ hours were passed talking, walking, vegetarian/vegan food browsing, a wee bit of shopping with a stop for lunch and later a cup of hot cocoa.

I was pretty exhausted, hungry and tired when I got home late in the evening, but also with the great feeling of having been able to both talk, being heard AND listen to someone who actually do think outside the despicable box for so many hours. To not having to had restrain myself from comment on issues people in general find well, less than pleasing to hear about.

That's a sadly rare thing these days, at least for me, the 9-5 life for so many people, the commitments, the family life and so forth, they all make it difficult to spend long hours just talking, talking, talking with no particular deadline. Therefore I rarely have that utterly satisfying feeling of having thoroughly vented a subject after meeting friends. Sure it's nice to have lunch, coffee, afternoon tea, dinner, drinks, go to some cultural event, but a few hours (perhaps after not having seen eachother for a few weeks, months even), it's just not enough time for catching up and discuss life, the bigger picture for real, to challenge the mind.

Sometimes I also feel, that no matter how nice, kind, well-meaning friends are we move in such different circles intellectually. I've been brought up to think for myself, question and criticize (when needed) and I miss such discussions, ventilating and challenging. I often find I can't talk about certain issues without people taking offence, taking it as a personal insult perhaps, they get defensive instead of simply taking it as a suggestion to think differently, see other sides of the life coin.

So many people, too many, just accept norms and values set by society (which of course actually is made up by ourselves), keep doing things by jog trot (like eating meat), never really question the selfish IKEA way of living, never analyze underlying motifs, refusing to see the big picture, how my actions make an impact on someone else's life on the other side of the world, that we are all connected.

Or perhaps I simply spend time with the *wrong* kind of people, perhaps we've grown apart over the years. Some of my friends and I. At least I know for sure I have far too few friends who are vegetarians. People who never question their own choices, who never seem to strive to become better, more compassionate people, I pity them and I pity the world.

And for saying that, being who I am I do know some people find me uppish, preaching and tiresome. Because to find time to actually question and challenge your ways, your life in this soul-crushing 9-5 life of ours it takes an open mind, effort and, most of all, a sincere wish to become a better person.

Trying to make a change - while nota bene definitely not being all perfect oneself, still eating some dairy products and using leather goods for example - influence others, in some small way at least, being an advocate for those who far too few listen too, care about, since selfishess rule, it's wearying. And some days, friends that don't challenge you, that are just a happy chat over a coffee and cake for a couple of hours, that like to talk shoes, nailpolish, cuddly guineapigs, curtain fabrics, planned holidays and such are just what a mind weary about the unfortunate ways of the world needs.

Friends for different occasions.



What's your thoughts on friendship?
Does it vary over time?
Do you grow apart?
Do you need friends that challenge your mind and ways?
Do you have friends for different occasions?

Edit: Where do you draw the line between friends and acquaintances? Do you have one?

The more I think about this, the more thoughts I'd like to add to this post. And I actually do think about it a lot, but this is the first time I've put it to blog. Fodder for more posts.