a sad state of confusion

Once upon a time someone contacted me regarding something I blogged and was really passionate about. As life would have it lots of things (ie life itself) came between the something and I. So before it could be further pursued one and a half year went by. But of course I was a better I 1,5 years down the line and when things are meant to happen they do.

So I contacted the someone about the something again. And was remembered by the someone over the something. Now as a creative business owner full of ideas still being passionate about the something I was clearly in a different position than I'd been before.

It's now been pretty much another one and a half year since. And without going in to any details I have to say that this has been one of the most bizarre situations I've been through, both from a professional and personal point of view.

And given recent information it has become even more bizarre. I can't even tell you how completely bafflingly remarkable it is, I feel like a question AND exclamation mark. And to be quite honest, I feel deceived.

Had it been any other something I would not have put up with the confusing, irrational behaviour of the someone. Because the time and energy, good great ideas and focus, problem solving and good will put into it has (so far) not at all led to the great things they ought to have. I've put both my professional rumour on the line and my time. I do not appreciate having done that for nothing, that was supposed to have been something.

• I just wish more people could be action instead of talk.
• I also wish that people didn't say they have the authority to do something,
  when in the end they don't. 
• Being honest and transparent is always attractive.
• I wish people could just say what they want instead of pussyfooting around.
• Mind-reading is rather annoying and most of us are not very good at it.
• I wish people could just be straight and say yes (preferably yes!) or no and not maybe.
• Don't insinuate something and then not follow through without any explanations.
• Don't mess up and say you're sorry when in the end it seems like the messiness followed by the sorry is something of a routine. 
• Sorry, it happened because of... and how do we solve this or how can I make it up to you, are much nicer ways of acting.
• Simply no replying to perfectly professional emails and texts about professional matters initiated by you isn't very... professional. What's up with that?

Everything you do, everything you say is something that either helps or set your personal brand back. It's a fine line between goodwill and badwill. To be professional, friendly, honest, personal (without being private) and prestigeless shouldn't be that difficult, imho.

What makes me frustrated and annoyed also makes me sad. Because somehow I feel that beneath all this incomprehensible messiness there is also this trust (yes it's the same someone and the something), a firm handshake, a steady eye and a great smile that bode well.

As I'm a believer of the "things happen when they are meant to" and "everything is connected" I know there's a meaning to all this. Right now I just feel a bit hapless about it, because this clearly had so much potential in so many ways. Instead it became a state of confusion, mixed messages, fuzziness, inaccurate and repressed information. When it really needn't have been.

Let's have lunch or talk about it over coffee, shall we?